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Officially MOVING ACCOUNTS / Commissions open on new account
Posted 8 years agoSorry to all my newer watchers, but I had been planning an account move for quite a while now.
I haven't uploaded to this account in a year or more, but I finally have new things to post after a long upload hiatus, which is why the move didn't happen sooner.
NEW:
Astraltus
Astraltus
Astraltus
Astraltus
Commissions are open via journal on my new account. See you folks over there!
Antidepressant help?
Posted 8 years agoFor a while now I've been feeling so weak and tired that I feel I almost need to go back on some sort of anti-d.
I've been off of any type of depression med for about two years I think, not because I didn't need them, but because they were making things worse.
The last one was Prozac I'm pretty sure. Made me feel completely numb and escalated suicidal thoughts to the point where I actually felt I was in danger.
My question to all of you on depression meds is, what med has worked for you? What meds did you have to go through before you found one that worked?
I know it varies from person to person, so maybe specify whether you just have depression by itself or have an equal amount of anxiety/panic disorder?
Because I know those two things are contradicting - antidepressants are stimulants, and anxiety meds are suppressants. I myself have depression, panic/anxiety, along with some other things that can't be treated with medication. I just couldn't seem to find a balance.
Oh, and I'm also terrified of going to psychiatrists or therapists of any kind. I tried a few, all of them were different, but I only went to each of them once. I either never felt comfortable, couldn't talk without crying, or didn't like the feedback I was getting.
For example, one female therapist was a shoulder to cry on rather than someone to give me any logical help.
This is less about finding a psych doctor though and more about possibly getting back on a drug that just MIGHT help me get out of bed in the morning. Or at all, really. delays (important)
Posted 8 years agoTo whom it may concern: any owed art/commissions that I'm doing will be getting done slowly.
Reason #1: Some of my art knowledge/skills seem to have fallen out of focus and I'm barely making any progress.
I still want these to turn out good, so I'm not going to rush through them to get it over with.
It's like I know what process to take to make them look how I want, but when I try to actually carry that out, it doesn't happen.
It just looks like shit. This is one among other reasons why I don't normally ask for payment upfront.
Reason #2: My mental and emotional health is just getting progressively worse. I don't want to talk about why.
I've talked about it before, and I continue to vent on Twitter. I'm trying to keep it there and not spread it everywhere else.
Just know that I have my emotional problems by themselves, but now I'm dealing with the same thing only during a part of my life where literally everything is changing/trying to change. It's not just that though.
Reason #3: OTHER ART. This is very important. Some of my scholarship opportunities involve making art for contests held by my future (hopefully) university's art department.
The due dates are coming up and I've done nothing but stress over commissions. There's a slim chance that I'll win anything from these, because past entries look absurdly different from the kind of art that I do, but I guess I at least have to try.
Anyway, I did also want to mention that I'm still moving accounts, but it won't be until I've actually posted content.
Thanks for your patience.
Reason #1: Some of my art knowledge/skills seem to have fallen out of focus and I'm barely making any progress.
I still want these to turn out good, so I'm not going to rush through them to get it over with.
It's like I know what process to take to make them look how I want, but when I try to actually carry that out, it doesn't happen.
It just looks like shit. This is one among other reasons why I don't normally ask for payment upfront.
Reason #2: My mental and emotional health is just getting progressively worse. I don't want to talk about why.
I've talked about it before, and I continue to vent on Twitter. I'm trying to keep it there and not spread it everywhere else.
Just know that I have my emotional problems by themselves, but now I'm dealing with the same thing only during a part of my life where literally everything is changing/trying to change. It's not just that though.
Reason #3: OTHER ART. This is very important. Some of my scholarship opportunities involve making art for contests held by my future (hopefully) university's art department.
The due dates are coming up and I've done nothing but stress over commissions. There's a slim chance that I'll win anything from these, because past entries look absurdly different from the kind of art that I do, but I guess I at least have to try.
Anyway, I did also want to mention that I'm still moving accounts, but it won't be until I've actually posted content.
Thanks for your patience.
moving accounts soon
Posted 8 years agoBET YOU ALL SAW THIS COMING
No but seriously, I haven't posted anything in a year. A... year.
A lot of bad things happened in my life during the past two years I've had this account, so that's one reason.
The main reason of course is the fact that none of my account names are Sleeperstar anymore, and I can't have one that's different from the rest. It will drive me insane.
I was hoping that FA would implement a username change feature and that's the only reason I've stayed on this account for so long.
I've read discussions about that though and it seems that it would be almost impossible for that to be a thing because of the way the website's code is written.
So, I've lost hope on not having to actually move accounts again. But there I go.
I won't actually be active on the new account for some time though so, follow if you'd like, but no need to unwatch this one quite yet. http://www.furaffinity.net/user/astraltus/
Sorry about my pettiness, folks.
I've kept Astraltus as a username for quite a while now though so it might end up being The One that I keep forever, finally.
Who the hell knows.
Commissions OPEN - ALL TAKEN
Posted 9 years agoAlright! just to recap my last journal:
I will only be accepting steam games as payment due to my Paypal being heavily compromised at the moment.
Payment must be UP FRONT only, because steam's sale ends on the 29th. Please respect this.
When you note me, I'll tell you the games that cover the price, and then my email for you to send the gift to.
You don't have to friend me to send me anything, in case anyone's new to gift sending.
Also, please send me a note within a day of claiming a slot, at least for the payment.
I've had some problems with people getting to me late or never getting to me at all, so please know what you're doing before you do it.
I'm going to try to stream these, as I talked about stream commissions before.
I was going to be taking them in-stream, but things changed. Still something I would like to do in the future.
http://astraltus.weebly.com/
Preferably comment to claim.
1: Kexity
2: Canideo
3: DannyDumal
4: Nauno-Wolfseneon
Commissions opening the 28th or late on the 27th!
Posted 9 years agoI'm going to a family dinner tomorrow and will be back later in the day, so they might open up a little sooner than the 28th.
Something a little different this time though, I will be taking steam games as payment because my Paypal account is currently compromised.
I'm not sure if non-steam users can send gifts so I'm sorry to anybody who doesn't use steam if that is the case :( I literally can't do anything else right now.
I've added bust, waist-up, and fullbody variants to my list of options, and the prices have been raised to a place that I'm more comfortable with.
See you soon!
Minor update + future stream commissions
Posted 9 years agoI almost titled this "further delay" because the update is that I'm now sick with something.
Headache, upper body discomfort, and lack of energy I didn't have to begin with.
It's nothing severe, but it sure doesn't help with productivity.
Second thing I wanted to mention was that the next time I open commissions, which will probably be shortly after I finish my current batch, I'll most likely be doing them in-stream.
I don't know how many I'll be taking, but I'll be doing one at a time, which will probably end up being one per stream because I just don't have the drawing endurance like I used to.
I'm doing it this way next time because I keep letting commissions sit, which is just. Really unprofessional.
If you're wondering about when I'll be streaming, I live in the U.S. Central Time Zone.
I don't have a set time, and when I say that I mean I could very well be streaming at 3am. Or noon. Or in the evening, like a normal human being.
Just thought I'd give you all a heads up even though it's still a ways away.delay
Posted 9 years agoI know I said those impromptu commissions would be done quick, but I've got to stop making promises.
They're getting done quicker than regular ones, sure, but I intended to get 1 done per day, having them done in like a week.
It's been a week and I'm only 90% done with the second one.
I wasn't feeling "well" when I took them but things have just gone downhill again.
I'm working as fast as my motivation will allow. I guess this is why I offer my stuff dirt cheap.Early $10 Commissions [ALL TAKEN] thank you!
Posted 9 years agoI WAS GONNA TAKE A BREAK BUT THEN HALF OF MY STEAM WISHLIST GOES ON SALE SO.
These will be quick, fullbody commissions. Please don't refer to my commission page, as everything there is outdated as of about a week ago.
I don't currently have an accurate example I can show you but it will be similar to my regular simple commissions, only I won't be nitpicking them this time. They'll be rougher.
1: Monue /paid - done
2: Monue /paid - sketching
3: Animosus /paid - not started
4: Animosus /paid - not started
5: Zenion-Infinitium
6: DannyDumal /paid - not started
I'd prefer if you'd comment to claim.
I need payment upfront, so please give me your email as soon as you note me so I can send an invoice.
You will still be getting a sketch draft, but please no overly complicated characters.
Also please do not note me asking if commission are still open after slots are taken. I might open another batch right after this depending on what happens, just a heads up.
Thank you!
Money goals and plans and things!!
Posted 9 years agoI just wanna blab about some stuff :3c
I'm in a rare excited mood right now, probably because I finally got an insulin pump today (type 1 diabetic) and it's making me think about other things like college and just future things in general.
I have NO idea how finances are really going to go for me, but scholarships aside, I really need to have a mode of transportation no matter if I end up living on campus or not.
I absolutely despise the idea of having to drive a car everywhere, so I keep bringing up the idea of getting a standard motorbike instead. My mom hates the idea because she's worried about my safety, but I wouldn't be going more than 10 miles off campus with it for the most part.
Besides, the campus of this particular university is crowded and awkward as all hell and just... with a car? no thank you? I'd feel more confident with a bike anywhere, but especially there.
Not to mention the gas mileage. Hooo boy. 40-50 miles per gallon yES PLEASE??? my wallet needs this.
SO ANYWAY. I hatched this plan that I really hope I somewhat follow through with.
I figured that if I took around six $10 commissions per day, I could pay for a motorbike in just one month or a month and a half.
Right now it's taking me 2 days to finish just one simple commission but if I stopped being a perfectionist and drew them as sketchy as they're supposed to be while still making them look good (which is what I need to be doing), I could do this.
I need to be practicing quicker art anyway. It's going to be essential in my uni course, after all.
So yeah guys, um. I WANT A BIKE.
EXPECT ME TO BE TAKING A CRAP TON OF SIMPLE COMMS IN THE FUTURE.
ZOOM ZOOM
CYA LATER.Commission archive page!
Posted 9 years agoI forgot to mention this!
As you've probably noticed, I don't upload much.
I don't know why or when it started but for some reason I didn't like uploading every commission I did and somewhere along the line I just stopped uploading all commissions that weren't full scenes (and even some of those I don't like too much).
It bothers me because I realize even if I don't like a piece, other people want to see it. Sorry about the lack of uploads, guys. :(
BUT IT'S OK!
Recently I went and gathered all the past commission work that I could find/remember and stuck it all in one place, organized by year.
Now anyone can publicly view any commissions I don't upload.
http://astraltus.weebly.com/gallery.html
Now, if you're a past/future customer that doesn't want their work uploaded there, tell me.
I've only had one person tell me they wanted their comm to be private, but it doesn't hurt to ask everyone else.
I'll happily remove anything.[Back] Art students, talk to me
Posted 9 years agoFor anybody who is an art student, has graduated from an art program, or just has knowledge about art courses, tell me about your experiences.
I toured a university that has a pretty strong art department, but because their animation course is so intensive, I'm afraid that I wouldn't be getting the illustration knowledge that I need and want to improve my work. Of course, they start with basic drawing concepts and compositing because that's obviously very important to animate anything in the first place, but does it really compare to taking a course that is focused on illustration alone? I'm guessing not.
I'm wondering how exactly it compares to a Fine Arts degree (or anything else), because from what the professor told me they tend to not touch on digital work much at all in that course. This is a big concern for me because while I would love to get a hang of traditional media (which I have strayed away from), improving digital skills is essential for industry work. I want my art to reach a point where I could apply to be a concept artist or something similar, get the job, and then know exactly what I'm doing when I start working. I want to be consistent. I don't want to take the wrong course, even if I am interested in animation (including game anim which is part of it).
I don't know exactly what I'm asking, so just give me any insight that you have about ANY of this. What you've experienced, heard, seen, whatever. I realize that it varies from school to school, from professor to professor, of course. There are just so many different variances in art classes and it's stressing me out because I can't afford to take something that ultimately isn't what I thought I wanted. I've read so much stuff online but things people say about degrees are so vague and frustrating.
Thank you in advance ;__;ONE $10 commission slot [taken] + away for 6 days
Posted 9 years agoNeed the money before tomorrow, so this will be done tonight.
Rough example: http://img15.deviantart.net/187d/i/.....og-d7wfzvb.png
First come, first serve. Comment to claim. Please no complicated characters.
I'll also be out of town for 6 days. I'll still be able to reply to notes, but I can't work on comms during that time.
I appreciate your patience.
[PSA] Commission prices to be raised
Posted 9 years agoI really am going to this time. I wanted to see if I could avoid it but I really can't.
I have to, both because I work way too hard for $2 an hour, and because I need to pay for my own expenses with this.
It needs to be worth my time, and it never has been. It'll also shoo away people choosing me over a preferred artist solely for my cheap ass prices, so I can stop feeling used. I'm not saying everyone does that but it's just a suspicion I have. I know, good for business, right? haha
This is a major factor playing into my depression right now and also results in me not even wanting to work on commissions.
I'm broke right now and really stressed out. I need things before this coming fall and I really want to be able to pay for my own phone card consistently.
ANY NEW PRICES DO NOT APPLY TO PEOPLE WHO ARE CURRENTLY ON MY WAITING LIST.
IT WILL TAKE EFFECT WHEN I RE-OPEN FOR A NEW BATCH.
Good news though, I'll be offering more flexible options which I should have done a long time ago.
Simple, shaded, and scenes but with options for headshots/busts/fullbody, so you'll still have an option to get something cheap.
I've also been having trouble with doing slots versus opening for unlimited slots and then closing.
What I will be doing is opening a larger amount of slots (say ten), and putting them in order of payment/who noted first.
Thank you for your patience.
If any of this angers you, better to commission someone else.Commissions OPEN!
Posted 9 years agoYeah remember how I said I was going to do some personal art first haha that was funny.
I also didn't really change the prices because I'm afraid it would hurt business rip.
http://astraltus.weebly.com/
I won't be doing full scenes for a while for my own sanity.
Simple scenes are questionable though and you can discuss that with me.
To start off I will be opening 2 slots.
COMMENT to claim, then note me the information.
Thank you!Back, hopefully.
Posted 9 years agoHello everyone, it's been a while!
I've taken care of some things and will hopefully be getting back into drawing after about 6 months without properly doing so.
1: About a month ago I successfully build my first PC without any operational problems!
So now I have my first proper workstation (and game machine) and will no longer be staring at a 15 inch washed out screen while drawing (*COUGH*andgaming).
Here was my part list if you're interested: http://pcpartpicker.com/user/Astral.....s/saved/RcFzK8
I plan on buying some blue LEDs and posting pictures at some point!
2: A CERTAIN FRIEND OF MINE silveratlas SAVED MY LIFE and donated me a spare tablet of his!
My old one was screwing up and I wouldn't have been able to afford a new one, so I truly can't thank him enough.
It's much bigger than my old one and it's been a blessing to use!!!
3: Yes, COMMISSIONS. I got some things worked out in my to-do list and I think it's cleared!
(PLEASE tell me if I still owe you anything)
However, I do want to take some time to draw for myself before jumping back into them.
Made some changes to OCs, got inspired by video games, music, etc.
Also, prices on commissions will be going up slightly. Trust me, it won't be much, but I don't want to cheat myself out of profit either.
I plan on this being my main income for quite some time, so I'm sure you can understand.
Here's to hoping I never have a gap of productivity as large as 6 months EVER again.
Depression has kind of been kicking my behind, and chances are that these gaps will continue intermittently, but I'm going to try really hard.
Your support definitely keeps me going, and I appreciate every comment, favorite, and watch!
Thank you guys. I'm going to try my best striving towards some different and exciting things. Money issues (important)
Posted 9 years agoWell, I quit my job. For many, many reasons.
I don't want to go into all the details but a big reason was because I started to realize I just wasn't happy. Anxiety was always present no matter what I was doing and I didn't want to continue on like that. I wanted to quit before I got too attached to the people and the routine (it's been about 6 or 7 months).
So, I want to treat commissions more like a serious job now, until a different opportunity shows itself.
As I talked about in the last journal, I am in the process of buying parts for a desktop computer.
This isn't cheap, and I realized somewhere along the line that I WILL be needing a new tablet if I want to go back into commissions seriously. I can't have my 7 year old tablet dying and not running its drivers whenever it wants to.
So here's the issue:
The cost of my computer's build is going to be at least $1,000. Just that alone is a bit over my budget right now. I've been saving up for quite a while from working, but I've also had to pay for other things.
So, I am not going to have enough money for a new tablet unless I open a donation pool or borrow money from my parents, which I kind of hesitate doing. However, I also hesitate accepting donations, even if they're small.
So I'm sort of in a bind? My parents have their own much larger expenses and I catch myself feeling ridiculous and selfish for even wanting a desktop and a tablet in the first place.
I just wanted to write this to give another update on what's happening.
I've wanted to continue working on my art for so long now, but I can't operate efficiently unless I feel comfortable with my working environment.
My room, my head, my desk, my finances, are all absolute messes.
I have a lot of people waiting on things from me, and trust me, I feel terrible about it.
Money and myself are to blame.Updates (kinda important)
Posted 9 years agoAs you've probably noticed, I haven't posted anything for months.
That's because I haven't been drawing, at least not enough to notice.
There are multiple reasons for this.
First, the usual. Second, I'm in the long process of saving money for a new work space.
I refuse to do commission work if I can't even see the colors right.
I say 'long' because I'm only getting about 14 hours a week being payed $8 an hour. After tax, that's less than $100 a week. I'm trying to buy parts for a custom setup that is $1,000+.
Why? I realized quite a while back that while my laptop performs well, the visuals are absolute garbage color-wise (HP Envy 15). Doesn't matter if I calibrate it. I may be going a bit overboard with the specs, but I might as well get something reliable since I've also been getting back into gaming.
My main concern art-wise is the monitor though. I bought an old Apple Cinema display, but am now selling it for multiple reasons. Nothing wrong with the monitor itself, however. Now I have my eyes on this one here: https://pcpartpicker.com/part/acer-.....tor-umvh6aa003
Not a fan of Acer but for the price and reviews... yeah.
ALSO thinking about getting a new tablet. My Wacom Bamboo Pen & Touch has been working great for 6+ years and still is, so it would be a luxury to replace it, but you know.
Anyway, just letting you all know what's going on. If I owe you something, feel free to confront me about it via note. I'm just getting nowhere with everything at the moment. sorry (read if I owe you art)
Posted 9 years ago
Lately, my mental illness has been preventing me from operating properly due to a lot of things.
The only things I seem to get done are playing smite and skyrim and sleeping 16 hours a day. I only work 2-3 days a week because of winter, so I've been telling myself "use this opportunity to get owed art done!"
It never happens. And if it does, I work for maybe 30 minutes and then quit. I get nowhere.
I'm constantly exhausted for no reason whatsoever, my memory seems to be impaired, hindering my productivity and organization greatly.
I've been spending months on things that normally would take me about a night to complete.
So basically, I'm here to say that if I owe you something, even some cheapo thank-you drawing that I told you I'd do 6 months ago, I'm still thinking about that. I'm thinking about everything.
Give me a bad review to someone if you want, you'd only be being honest. Do whatever you think is necessary.
I'm just an artist who intends to give quality service but in reality can't do anything as I'd like because of my damn depression.
I really want to quit taking commissions all together but serving people seems to be my only small source of true satisfaction. And when I can't accomplish that, well.
Skype Notice
Posted 9 years agoI'm starting fresh, making a new account.
Anybody that currently has me in their contacts, remove me.
NO NOT ASK ME FOR MY NEW ACCOUNT.
I'm starting to think I'm hardly active on Skype because I fear small talk with acquaintances.
PMs on here are fine, but actively talking with anybody through an Instant Messenger makes me feel awkward and trapped.
A forced conversation, if you will.
Therefore, at first I am only adding people I am very comfortable talking to.
I need to get back in close relationships with my friends and that alone.
My withdrawal due to fear of other conversations is wearing on me greatly.
HOWEVER,
If you need to talk to me about something important that is more easily done through IM, I will temporarily add you for that purpose.
Removal afterwards does not mean I dislike you. Please understand.
Thanks everyone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯[IMPORTANT] Life news + Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted 10 years agoI encourage people struggling with mental illness to read (near the bottom) some recent experiences that I've gone through since I started branching out into the real world.
I got my first job about a week ago now, and despite it being my first, it's not part-time. I work pretty long full-time hours (including Sunday) in a grocery store Deli/Bakery and it's actually very exhausting. If you ever buy something from a store's Deli, be patient. The work back there is hard. But it pays pretty decent!
COMMISSIONERS/FUTURE COMMISSIONERS:
I hardly have time to work on owed art now, and I was already slow before. Anyone who is currently waiting or wanting a commission please tell me if you want to continue to wait (I am still willing to work) or want to get someone else to do it. This especially applies to people wanting full background comms. I come home very very tired and despite wanting to draw in the evening, I quite literally have no energy left in me. Hopefully I'll strengthen up after a while and I won't want to sleep immediately after getting home.
Now on to the Thanksgiving part, which coincides with my job. I hope you all who celebrate it are having a good holiday! I know I have endless things to be thankful for, and even if you don't think you do, there is always something. To all the people who feel hopeless today, just know that all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Here's a song in the meantime: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4prcFEuUZkY
I am not typically a positive person, but realism consists of both negativity and positivity.
Remarkable things have happened since I started my job. I'm full of fear, doubt, and mental illness, but I can tell you firsthand that things do get better. However, it doesn't just happen automatically.
The first day of my job I was working in Bakery instead of Deli. I was the only one, besides the Bakery's manager. I got scared because she wasn't going to be there all the time, and Bakery work was complicated and full of responsibility. I had a panic attack, and thought I should quit.
Second day, I prayed, had another panic attack thinking I should quit again, but to my surprise, a lot of people showed up missing in Deli that day. Managers were angry, etc. Soon after that, the manager was talking to me and I mentioned I had some concerns. She took me back to her office and I told her how I was feeling about my position. She then told me she had already told me about moving me to Deli because people had left. My mood immediately changed, and I was good for the rest of the day.
Third day (yesterday), I had started being trained in Deli, and finally got to the part where I had to serve/talk to impatient customers and work equipment at a fast pace. I had ANOTHER panic attack, this one probably the worst yet. At that moment I knew I had to quit. I managed to survive until lunch, then texted my mom about how afraid I was. Almost IMMEDIATELY after that, I felt fine, like nothing had even happened. I went through the rest of the day feeling great, like I had been doing the work for weeks. After the day was over, I talked to my mom and asked her if she had prayed after I texted her. She said yes, she had.
God is good. I accepted the fact that I couldn't overcome my fear and problems by myself and every day I asked him to just take it all into his hands and boy He sure did. He is the only reason I was able to leave work everyday with a sound mind. He is what I'm thankful for. Sometimes I feel hopeless, but I have help.
You have help too. Keep going. Find a current, even if it's small, and ride it.
I hope you all have a very awesome day/night! ♥wow i'm so sORRY
Posted 10 years agook so I've got this problem that really bugs me where
if all my account usernames
are not the same everywhere
it makes me anxious.
:'''')
but since you can't delete accounts on FA I'm really reluctant to move again because the idea of a bunch of dead open accounts laying around also makes me anxious I HATE THIS???
IT SHOULDN'T EVEN MATTER like I'm not kidding it gives me this huge sense of unease.
FA please just make a username change feature like DA did. The one thing DA did right.friend has CHEAP commissions open!
Posted 10 years agoHe does a lot of really cool warrior type anthro stuff, but can do any other type of anthros!
His prices range from $3 sketches up to $12 full pictures with backgrounds. Please go check out his stuff! This is his first time taking commissions, so any business would be appreciated :3
Here's his commission journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7020182/
And his gallery: http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/.....no-wolfseneon/
On deviantart as well: http://nauno-the-werewolf.deviantart.com/gallery/
Thanks in advance <3About Commissions and myself [ IMPORTANT ]
Posted 10 years agoI've come to realize that I'm not a reliable worker anymore, at least when it comes to art.
Sure, I have all the good intentions, but I also have serious problems. I have addictions, not to substances, but to habits. These habits combined with my mental state do not make for a good person to commission. I've been drained of work ethic almost entirely and I can't rely on sudden bursts of drive to work on things people wait months for.
The only reason I've continued to offer my pathetic service is because I can't find a job to save my life. And yes, of course it's not easy to find a job and I'm not trying very hard, but I don't try very hard at anything anymore it seems. My dad has offered to take me around and look for a job in person, but just the thought of that makes me anxiously sick.
Keeping commissions open doesn't fill in the void that a job does, anyway. That is unless I start charging $100 for full pictures which I don't think I will ever do in my entire life.
I need money to do multiple things that would aid in lessening my depression significantly. Some things are not so important, some are, and some are extremely important, at least to me. My family struggles with money, and since I don't live on my own I plan to give them a significant amount of my paycheck. For living expenses, and also for all the shit they've done for me in my recent adult years that I by no means deserve.
Also, my pets. My mom has paid for literally everything pet-wise all these years. We have 4 cats now (2 stray) and a dog. My dog was recently diagnosed with diabetes, and insulin for dogs is overly expensive for just a small amount. He also now has cataracts, which developed extremely quickly to the point where he currently can't function properly. That one thing by itself has worsened my state of mind because my dog is extremely important to me, and I can't do shit to help him right now. Dog cataract surgery is apparently $3,000 per eye. We don't have near the spare money to pay for that, and probably won't ever. Unless I get a job and save every paycheck I get.
I considered opening up a donation pool for this, but it would take a disgusting amount of time to raise that much from donations, and it would make me ill with guilt that I would be using peoples' money giving nothing in return.
I just really don't know what to do at this point. About a lot of things.
Just know that if I do get a job, commissions will rarely be open.
If you read all this, thank you.Back!
Posted 10 years ago
Here I am back at 2am!
We went through Kansas like we planned but then we really did end up going to Colorado! I hadn't been there in 10 years.
Mountain land makes me feel so at peace, I didn't want to leave. The people were nicer, everything. I hate it in Missouri.
But anyway, time to get back to commission work!
