Just letting y’all know, tomorrow me and some of my family will be going on a trip to Hamilton, Missouri. We will leave at 8:30 and will be on the road for 8+ hours, and we will be staying there for a total of 4 days, including when we leave and when we come back.

Things cleared up far quicker than I thought they would have, but I’m not complaining. So yeah. Just wanted to let you all know I’m back :3

A lot of personal issues involving family and other real life subjects have suddenly arisen, and I feel that I need to take care of them first. So, that’s what I’m doing. I’m taking a break from here and Discord as well, so that I can deal with these things. This isn’t being done to spite any of you or anything, it’s just these problems both feel overwhelming, and that they’ll impede with my time here. I love all of you, and I want you to know that. I don’t know how long it’ll take for me to feel free to return here, but I’ll return occasionally on discord. Goodbye for now. I love all of you, and I want you to know that.

Here are my favorites;

Devin: Hewwo.
Orange: Hihiiiiii!
Basil: Greetings, Humans.
Terry: Three kinds of people.
Snowbutt: I want pudding.
Devin: Four kinds of people.
Mari: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS?
Terry: Five kinds of people.

*The squad right before Devin's wedding*
Orange: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Basil: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Ashley: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Terry: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Irish, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

Devin: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Orange: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
Devin: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Basil: Actually I did the math, Orange would have $225, not $0.15.
Orange: Fam I’m right here....
Snowbutt: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Devin: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Snowbutt: Sorry I only have a dollar
Devin: :(
Basil: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Orange would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Snowbutt: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Basil: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Terry: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Basil: Apply juice to what
Irish: Directly to the forehead
Orange: Great chat everyone

'Can I copy the homework?'
Devin: I can help you with it!
Orange: Yeah, sure.
Basil: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Ashley: lol nope.
Terry: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
Irish/Mari: *Read 5:55pm*

Devin: Time for plan G.
Orange: Don’t you mean plan B?
Devin: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Basil: What about plan D?
Devin: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Snowbutt: What about plan E?
Devin: I’m hoping not to use it. Terry dies in plan E.
Mari: I like plan E.

Devin: Croissants: dropped
Orange: Road: works ahead
Basil: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Snowbutt: Shavacado: fre
Terry: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Mari:
Mari, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Devin: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Orange: >:O language
Basil: Yeah watch your fucking language
Snowbutt: OKAY WHO TAUGHT BASIL THE FUCK WORD?
Terry: 'The fuck word'.
Irish: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Basil: Oh my god they censored it
Terry: Say fuck, Irish.
Basil: Do it, Irish. Say fuck.

Devin: Rules are made to be broken.
Orange: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Basil: Uh, piñatas.
Snowbutt: Glow sticks.
Terry: Karate boards.
Ashley: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Devin: Rules.
Orange:

Devin: We need to distract these guys
Orange: Leave it to me
Orange: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Basil, Ashley, and Terry: *Immediately begin arguing*
Irish, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Mari: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Devin : ...I did. I broke it.
Mari: No. No you didn't. Basil?
Basil: Don't look at me. Look at Ashley.
Ashley: What?! I didn't break it.
Basil: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Ashley: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Basil: Suspicious.
Ashley: No, it's not!
Terry: If it matters, probably not, but Irish was the last one to use it.
Irish: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Terry: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Irish: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Terry!
Devin: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Mari.
Mari: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Terry: Mari... Basil's been awfully quiet.
Basil: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Mari, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Mari: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Mari:
Mari: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Mari: I CAN'T DO IT!
Devin, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Mari: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Orange: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Mari:
Mari: I appreciate it,
Mari: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Basil: Mari-
Mari: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Terry: Devin we gotta-
Mari: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Mari: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Mari, motioning to Irish: NOT FUCKING THIS

Devin: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Orange: Okay, but what is updog?
Basil: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Ashley: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Terry: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Snowbutt: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Devin: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Snowbutt: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Basil: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Orange: What’s a henway??
Devin: Oh, about five pounds.

*The squad is over at Devin's house*
Basil: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Devin: ... N-No...
Devin, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Basil, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Orange: I see a-
Devin, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Basil: Oh, well I-
Devin: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Devin, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Ashley: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Terry: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Devin: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Devin: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Devin, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Devin: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Snowbutt, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Devin:
Basil: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Devin:
Devin, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

Devin: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Orange: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Basil: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Ashley: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Terry: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Mari:
Mari: I have emotional scars.

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
Devin: Thanks fam!
Irish: oh no
Basil: *cries* I love you too
Snowbutt: Sounds fake but okay
Orange: *A flustered mess*
Mari: can i get a refund

Devin: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!
Orange: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Mari: More or less, I guess...
Snowbutt: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!
Terry: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.
Basil: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

Devin: Orange... How do I begin to explain Orange?
Basil: Orange is flawless.
Snowbutt: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
Terry: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
Mari: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

Devin: What does 'take out' mean?
Basil: Food.
Orange: Dating
Mari: Murder
Irish: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Devin: Nothing in life is free.
Basil: Love is free!
Orange: Adventure is free.
Ashley: Knowledge is free.
Mari: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

Devin: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Ashley/Mozzarella: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Orange: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Basil: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Mari: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!


Devin: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!

Mozzarella: To the city?

Devin: Yeah, no matter what!

Mari: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?

Devin: I... I don't know!

Orange: Oh come off it, be serious!

Devin: I am serious!

Orange: You're insane!
Basil: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!

Everyone:

Devin: What???

Basil: Or maybe it was a basset hound!

Orange, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!

Devin: You're a loose cannon, Orange.
Orange: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Basil: I think you play by your own rules.
Ashley: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.
Devin: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Orange: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Mari is a loose cannon.
Mari: *smashes a chair*

Devin: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Orange: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Devin: Three of us saw it, Orange. How do you explain that?

Orange: *points at Ashley* Sleep deprivation. *points at Basil* Paranoia. *points at Mari* Delusional personality disorder.

Devin: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Orange: ... Your what?

Devin: My friends.

Basil: Are they saying “friends”?

Ashley: I think they're being sarcastic.

Mari: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Devin! All of your friends are in this room.

Devin: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.


Devin: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Orange: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies
Basil: Socks are Feetie Heaties
Ashley: Forks are Stabby Grabbies 

Terry: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties 

Irish: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Mozzarella: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Mari, annoyed: You are disappointments

Devin: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right

Orange: Looking right because you left

Basil: Looking up cause you let me down

Terry: Looking down cause you fucked up

Mari: What is wrong with you guys

Devin: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?
Orange: Have everyone stand. 

Basil: Bring three more chairs! 

Ashley: The most important ones can sit down. 

Mari: Kill three.

Devin: Are we really going to let Orange keep Mozzarella?
Basil: We kept Mari.

Devin: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Orange: Several traffic violations.

Basil: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Ashley: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Mozzarella: Also, that’s not our car.

Devin: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Orange: This knife is actually a magic wand. 

Basil: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel. 

Ashley: *cocks gun* Magic missile. 

Mari: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

Devin: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Basil will and will not eat.

Orange: Grass? Yes!

Devin: Moss? Yes!!

Orange: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Devin: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Orange: Worms? Sometimes!

Devin: Rocks? Usually nah.

Orange: Twigs? Usually!

Devin: Ashley’s cooking? Inconclusive!

Mozzarella: How did you… test this?

Devin: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Mozzarella: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Ashley: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Devin: Anyone d-
Orange: Depressed? 

Ashley: Drained? 

Basil: Dumb? 

Mari: Disliked? 

Devin: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

Devin: Bye Orange! Bye Basil! Bye Mozzarella! Bye Mari! Bye Orange!

Basil: You said ‘bye Orange’ twice.

Devin: I like Orange.

Devin, trying to convince Mari to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!

Orange: And loud!

Basil: And grumpy!

Ashley: And oblivious to reality!

Mari:

Devin: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Orange: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years! 

Ashley: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this! 

Basil: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Mari: My moral code, is that you? 

Devin: 

Devin: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

Devin: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Orange: 'Prettiest Smile'

Basil: 'Nicest Personality'

Mari: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Mozzarella: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Mozzarella: Is having a penis fun?

Devin: It has its ups and downs.

Basil: Sometimes it’s a little hard.

Orange: It’s a pain in the ass.

Mari: Oh, Jesus, fuck, guys, come on.

Devin: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife? 

Orange: Rude. 

Mari: That’s fair.

Mozzarella: Not again.

Basil: Are you going to want this back?

Devin: Good morning. 

Orange: Good morning. 

Basil: Good morning. 

Mozzarella: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Mari: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

Devin: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked...

Ashley: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Mari: In your pantry!

Devin: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop?

Ashley: Is your friend here?

Devin, motioning to Basil: Yeah.

Ashley, to Basil: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:(

Orange: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-

Orange: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS?!

Orange: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN?
Everyone else: No.

Orange, to Ashley and Mari: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS
Ashley: YAAAAAAAAY!
Mari: THE PRESTIGE!

Devin: What’s something you guys are better than Basil at? 

Orange: Mario Kart. 

Ashley: Yeah, video games. 

Mari: Emotional vulnerability.

Devin: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Irish: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

Devin: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...

Orange: You would eat yourself?

Devin: I wouldn’t even question it.

Devin: You love me, right, Orange?

Orange: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

Devin: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming 

Mari: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

Devin: Okay, truth or dare?

Orange: Truth

Devin: How many hours have you slept this week?
Orange:

Orange: ...Dare

Devin: Go to bed.

Orange: I don’t like this game.

Devin, tending to Orange's wounds: How would you rate your pain? 

Orange: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Devin, talking to Basil on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Basil: You bet!

Devin: At what temperature?

Basil: 535.

Devin: That's the clock.

Basil:

Devin:

Basil: 536.

Devin: Orange and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- 

Orange: Sentences. 

Devin: Don't interrupt me.

*Devin and Orange are doing something absurdly dangerous*

Devin: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!

Orange, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

Devin: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

Mari:

Mari: Devin, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

Devin: *Sips coffee from bowl*

Devin: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Orange: What did you do?

Devin: Nobody died.

Orange: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Irish: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Terry: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Irish: Death is a social construct.

Devin: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--
[translation: I’M SORRY]

Orange: What's that?

Devin: Remorse code.

Orange: I'm even angrier now.

Devin: How many kids do you have?

Me: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?
(In order, 0, 1 - Basil, 0)

Devin, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Basil: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Devin, with the tone of someone who is used to Basil: Outstanding.

Devin: This is what I’m talking about people.

Devin: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Ashley, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Devin:

Devin: fsh

Absolute favorite;
Devin: Everyone was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Literally everyone, including himself (excluding Terry): Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Devin: Bruh, you ate a chair.

Irish: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.

Terry: Only if you also don't ask why

Terry: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.

Irish:

Terry:

Irish: This one is fine

Devin: Fuck.

Basil: We've got to work on your cursing.

Devin: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

Mari: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things. 
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Orange: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

Devin: Here's some advice

Orange: I didn't ask for any

Devin: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Devin: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume? 

Orange: *chugs entire bottle* 

Orange: It’s perfume.

Devin, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!
Orange: How? 

Devin: How what? 

Orange: How could they be worse?

Devin: They couldn’t, I lied. 

Orange:

Mari: You're right.

Devin: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Devin: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?
Orange: Go the fuck to sleep 

Devin: What gif I don't want to? 

Orange: Fuck You

Basil: Am I in trouble?

Orange: Take a guess.

Basil: No?

Orange: Take another guess.

Devin: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!

Orange: Mind your language!

Devin: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Orange:

Devin: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Devin: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Orange: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Devin: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday

Orange: Wednesay 

Devin: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

Devin: This is a mistake 

Orange, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day! 

Devin: But not today 

Orange, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess

Devin: Violence isn't the answer.

Mari: You’re right.

Devin: *sighs in relief*

Mari: Violence is the question.

Devin: What?

Mari, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Devin, running after them: NO-

Mari: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

Devin, not looking up from their book: Spear.

Mari: BLOCKED.

Basil: Change is inedible.

Ashley: Don't you mean inevitable?

Basil, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

Devin, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!

Orange: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,

Orange: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!

Devin, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

Orange: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?!

Orange: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND 

Devin, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬ ʸˢ

Second favorite;
Devin: Where are you going?

Mari: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

Mari: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Devin: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Mari: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

Devin: I turned out perfectly fine!

Orange: Devin, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Devin: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Devin: Is something burning?

Orange: Just my love for you.

Devin: Orange, the toaster is on fire.

Devin: Hey, you want some leftovers?
Mari: What's that? 

Devin: You've never had leftovers??? 

Mari: No, because I'm not a quitter.

Devin: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Orange: How can you still say that?

Devin: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Devin: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Basil, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Devin: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

Mari: You need to stop.

Basil: A theif. 

Devin: Thief? 

Basil: Theif. 

Devin: I before E, except after C. 

Basil: Thceif. 

Devin: No.

Devin: Hey Mari can I get a sip of your water?

Mari: It's not water.

Devin: Vodka, I like your style!

Mari: It's vinegar.

Devin: Wh-Wha-

Mari: It's vinegar, COWARD.

Devin: It’s dark in here

Basil: Don’t worry dude I got this

Basil: *Stomps their feet*

Basil: *Skechers light up*

Devin: I made tea.

Mari: I don’t want tea.

Devin: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Mari: Then why are you telling me?

Devin: It is a conversation starter.

Mari: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Devin: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Devin: So that’s my plan.

Mari: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.

Devin: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Mari: It fucking sucks.

Devin: That’s not constructive criticism.

Devin: Do you think you’d actually notice if someone didn’t cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didn’t Notice It?

Orange: Stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!!

Devin: Yknow what? Not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but I’m glad I could be an inspiration.

Devin: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Orange: Okay.

Devin: And make out during the scary parts.

Orange: Th-

Orange: The scary parts.

Orange: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Devin: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Basil/Orange: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Devin: No! Four to five seconds!

Basil/Orange: Too late!!!

Mari: Someone will die.

Devin: Of fun!

Devin: Top 30 reasons why Devin is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you! 

Orange: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

Devin: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Orange: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Devin: Absolutely not.

*Devin and Mari skipping stones on lake*

Devin: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Mari, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

Devin: So what’s for dinner? 

Orange, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

Devin: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Orange: It’s not a joke.

Orange: *sniffles*

Orange: I’m a legit snack.