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Where the @#$*( has Shimmer Been
Posted 3 months agoIt’s been a minute, huh? While we’d planned on taking a break around FWA, a variety of things aligned and turned that into a much longer break than we’d intended.
Since we were staff at FWA this year, we spent quite a bit of time before the convention preparing, kept busy during the con, and spent about a week afterwards isolating and resting. While we avoided con crud (N95 masks still work), it still took us a bit to recover from being so damn busy. After the con, we started working on cleaning house a bit, since we moved in February and have not fully unpacked from that. We had guests over for most of the last two weeks—first Tiko, then Zordrak—so being a good host took priority. Now we need to get caught up on housework again, starting with two weeks of laundry that piled up and probably continuing with getting our room in some kind of shape.
All of that to say: We haven’t been doing much writing lately, but it’s not a result of a depressive spiral or other negative life event. It’s just been a whole lot of things, one after another, that have generally kept us from opening Obsidian. We probably (definitely) could have utilized our time and energy more effectively but, in our defense, at least we weren’t rotting in bed for most of the last two months.
The forecast for the next few months is a lot lighter. There are some Pride events we might go to, including a Pirates & Princesses themed party this weekend. We want to go to more furmeets, but those almost always happen on Saturdays and, on average, happen once a month. There’s one guest who might come over next month but, otherwise, we don’t have any specific obligations or commitments between now and taking Amtrak to BLFC in October. This means, barring unforeseeable circumstances, we’ll have time to get back into writing like we’ve intended to.
If you think we owe you some writing and we haven’t recently been in touch, please contact us via Signal, Telegram, or Discord. We’ll offer refunds to anyone who paid us for work that has been incomplete. To help keep ourselves accountable, we plan on getting back into streaming with at least one afternoon and one nighttime writing stream each week, likely starting with a stream on Piczel Thursday evening. We may resume streaming to Twitch as well, just since we like hanging out while playing games. However, we’re also going to make a habit of taking at least two hours each week for self-care since we’ve been neglecting that and spending some time treating ourselves is a tremendous boon to our well-being.
Here’s to hoping we can actually stick with it this time. We’re going to be gradually sliding back into those good habits, rather than diving head-first into them and burning ourselves out. We want this to become a sustainable way of doing things and we want to keep writing for a long time to come. Thank you for your support, whether that’s commissioning us or just reading and sharing our stories.
Signed, The Author
Since we were staff at FWA this year, we spent quite a bit of time before the convention preparing, kept busy during the con, and spent about a week afterwards isolating and resting. While we avoided con crud (N95 masks still work), it still took us a bit to recover from being so damn busy. After the con, we started working on cleaning house a bit, since we moved in February and have not fully unpacked from that. We had guests over for most of the last two weeks—first Tiko, then Zordrak—so being a good host took priority. Now we need to get caught up on housework again, starting with two weeks of laundry that piled up and probably continuing with getting our room in some kind of shape.
All of that to say: We haven’t been doing much writing lately, but it’s not a result of a depressive spiral or other negative life event. It’s just been a whole lot of things, one after another, that have generally kept us from opening Obsidian. We probably (definitely) could have utilized our time and energy more effectively but, in our defense, at least we weren’t rotting in bed for most of the last two months.
The forecast for the next few months is a lot lighter. There are some Pride events we might go to, including a Pirates & Princesses themed party this weekend. We want to go to more furmeets, but those almost always happen on Saturdays and, on average, happen once a month. There’s one guest who might come over next month but, otherwise, we don’t have any specific obligations or commitments between now and taking Amtrak to BLFC in October. This means, barring unforeseeable circumstances, we’ll have time to get back into writing like we’ve intended to.
If you think we owe you some writing and we haven’t recently been in touch, please contact us via Signal, Telegram, or Discord. We’ll offer refunds to anyone who paid us for work that has been incomplete. To help keep ourselves accountable, we plan on getting back into streaming with at least one afternoon and one nighttime writing stream each week, likely starting with a stream on Piczel Thursday evening. We may resume streaming to Twitch as well, just since we like hanging out while playing games. However, we’re also going to make a habit of taking at least two hours each week for self-care since we’ve been neglecting that and spending some time treating ourselves is a tremendous boon to our well-being.
Here’s to hoping we can actually stick with it this time. We’re going to be gradually sliding back into those good habits, rather than diving head-first into them and burning ourselves out. We want this to become a sustainable way of doing things and we want to keep writing for a long time to come. Thank you for your support, whether that’s commissioning us or just reading and sharing our stories.
Signed, The Author
US Politics 2024
Posted 10 months agoThis election is a very easy choice.
On the Republican ticket, there's a convicted felon who routinely dehumanizes large swaths of the population and has already made unsubstantiated claims that the election is rigged.
On the Democratic ticket, there's a candidate who hasn't committed a felony, acknowledges that all Americans are human, and respects the democratic process.
Being treated like a person, as opposed to a piece of garbage, is the absolute minimum we should expect from a President. Trump fails even that test. He's unfit to serve.
Vote Harris. At least then we can have meaningful policy debates instead of arguing whether Lations and trans folks deserve human rights.
Leaving the comments open here because I'm sure at least one troll is going to take the bait and I need a laugh.
On the Republican ticket, there's a convicted felon who routinely dehumanizes large swaths of the population and has already made unsubstantiated claims that the election is rigged.
On the Democratic ticket, there's a candidate who hasn't committed a felony, acknowledges that all Americans are human, and respects the democratic process.
Being treated like a person, as opposed to a piece of garbage, is the absolute minimum we should expect from a President. Trump fails even that test. He's unfit to serve.
Vote Harris. At least then we can have meaningful policy debates instead of arguing whether Lations and trans folks deserve human rights.
Leaving the comments open here because I'm sure at least one troll is going to take the bait and I need a laugh.
On My Absence & Writing Backlog
Posted 12 months agoI’ve been doing a lot of writing lately! Honest! I just have been extremely lazy about posing it to all the places that y’all want to read it. Why? Because it’s actually a pain in the butt to cross-post a story to multiple websites. With visual art, a picture is a picture, regardless of format, and PostyBirb is sufficient to enable easy cross-posting. For a writer, though, it’s not nearly that simple.
My preferred writing tool is Obsidian, which allows me to write with Markdown formatting and, crucially, link pages together in my personal vault. This is an invaluable way to link a story to its notes and any other assets that go along with it. Unfortunately, Markdown isn’t universally supported. I can use it on Weasyl, SubscribeStar, Mastodon, and Discord; I can’t use it on FurAffinity, SoFurry, InkBunny, or Telegram. If I want to have the story appear with its proper formatting on all sites and minimize the number of versions I have to post, it still turns into a heck of a production.
Once I finish editing a story and it’s ready to post, here’s what all I have to do.
• Export the story as a PDF and as HTML.
• Copy the Markdown file, remove any frontmatter, and rename it to a TXT file.
• Make a story thumbnail using Krita. I have a template so this only takes a couple minutes.
• Post the story and its thumbnail to SubscribeStar Adult. The way PostyBirb handles SSA sometimes mangles text formatting in ways I can’t fix.
• Post the story to my early access channel on Discord. PostyBirb works here, at least.
• Use the PDF in PostyBirb to post to FurAffinity and SoFurry. The HTML version of the story gets added to the description on FA and the fallback text used on SoFurry.
• Use the TXT in PostyBirb to post to Weasyl and InkBunny.
• Confirm that I want to use the thumbnail I provided on Weasyl.
• Copy the BBcode from FurAffinity into the story text on InkBunny. Yes, really. This is actually necessary.
• If posting to Mastodon, copy the Markdown and paste it into the site(s) I’m posting to. PostyBirb doesn’t format Mastodon posts since formatting isn’t vanilla behavior.
• Collect the links from the various sites that the story was posted on.
• Post to my Telegram channel with the links to the story.
• Post to various self-promotion channels on Discord with links to the story.
• Hope that I haven’t somehow missed a step along the way and nervously recheck everything to ensure it was all done properly.
So, there you have it. Posting a picture to half a dozen pages takes just a few moments, depending on how thoroughly I tag and describe it. Posting a story to the same number of sites is a 15+ minute ordeal that involves a lot of manual, error-prone steps. I’d welcome any improvements to that workflow, because it is genuinely a big part of why I haven’t kept up with posting stories despite having nearly a dozen in my backlog now. Otherwise, I’m just going to have to power through, get things scheduled, and at least take some solace in knowing I’ll have posts up for most weeks remaining in the year.
Posted using PostyBirb
My preferred writing tool is Obsidian, which allows me to write with Markdown formatting and, crucially, link pages together in my personal vault. This is an invaluable way to link a story to its notes and any other assets that go along with it. Unfortunately, Markdown isn’t universally supported. I can use it on Weasyl, SubscribeStar, Mastodon, and Discord; I can’t use it on FurAffinity, SoFurry, InkBunny, or Telegram. If I want to have the story appear with its proper formatting on all sites and minimize the number of versions I have to post, it still turns into a heck of a production.
Once I finish editing a story and it’s ready to post, here’s what all I have to do.
• Export the story as a PDF and as HTML.
• Copy the Markdown file, remove any frontmatter, and rename it to a TXT file.
• Make a story thumbnail using Krita. I have a template so this only takes a couple minutes.
• Post the story and its thumbnail to SubscribeStar Adult. The way PostyBirb handles SSA sometimes mangles text formatting in ways I can’t fix.
• Post the story to my early access channel on Discord. PostyBirb works here, at least.
• Use the PDF in PostyBirb to post to FurAffinity and SoFurry. The HTML version of the story gets added to the description on FA and the fallback text used on SoFurry.
• Use the TXT in PostyBirb to post to Weasyl and InkBunny.
• Confirm that I want to use the thumbnail I provided on Weasyl.
• Copy the BBcode from FurAffinity into the story text on InkBunny. Yes, really. This is actually necessary.
• If posting to Mastodon, copy the Markdown and paste it into the site(s) I’m posting to. PostyBirb doesn’t format Mastodon posts since formatting isn’t vanilla behavior.
• Collect the links from the various sites that the story was posted on.
• Post to my Telegram channel with the links to the story.
• Post to various self-promotion channels on Discord with links to the story.
• Hope that I haven’t somehow missed a step along the way and nervously recheck everything to ensure it was all done properly.
So, there you have it. Posting a picture to half a dozen pages takes just a few moments, depending on how thoroughly I tag and describe it. Posting a story to the same number of sites is a 15+ minute ordeal that involves a lot of manual, error-prone steps. I’d welcome any improvements to that workflow, because it is genuinely a big part of why I haven’t kept up with posting stories despite having nearly a dozen in my backlog now. Otherwise, I’m just going to have to power through, get things scheduled, and at least take some solace in knowing I’ll have posts up for most weeks remaining in the year.
Posted using PostyBirb
Other Places to Find Me
Posted a year agoWhile FurAffinity’s recent GoFundMe for the site and for Dragoneer’s final expenses has had a remarkable amount of success, it’s understandable that some folks are still concerned about the long-term future of the site. At $20K per month, the GoFundMe will currently provide about four months of continuing support for FA. Beyond that, I imagine there will be heroic efforts to keep the site going, both for sake of the community and to honor Dragoneer’s legacy.
However, it’d be foolish to not make contingency plans. Some day, FurAffinity will close. Whether that happens in a few months or in several years, people will need other ways to keep in touch, share their work, and otherwise participate in the furry fandom. The same is true for any website run for free by volunteers. Very few things on the Internet last forever.
While all of my contact information is on my Linktree, the best places to find me are Mastodon and SoFurry. I’ll continue to use FurAffinity—it’d be absurd to leave the site when 75% of my readers are here—but I’d recommend following me on other sites just in case it becomes necessary.
As for Dragoneer what his life meant, I don’t have anything to add to what others have phrased more passionately and eloquently than I ever could.
However, it’d be foolish to not make contingency plans. Some day, FurAffinity will close. Whether that happens in a few months or in several years, people will need other ways to keep in touch, share their work, and otherwise participate in the furry fandom. The same is true for any website run for free by volunteers. Very few things on the Internet last forever.
While all of my contact information is on my Linktree, the best places to find me are Mastodon and SoFurry. I’ll continue to use FurAffinity—it’d be absurd to leave the site when 75% of my readers are here—but I’d recommend following me on other sites just in case it becomes necessary.
As for Dragoneer what his life meant, I don’t have anything to add to what others have phrased more passionately and eloquently than I ever could.
Commissions (Temporarily) Closed
Posted a year agoGood morning, critters and creatures.
I am (hopefully temporarily) closing writing commissions.
I have too many commissions that have been in my queue for too long, and I need to focus on getting those done before I even consider taking new work. I might occasionally take an in-stream mini-fiction commission if I need to mix things up but, for the most part, I’m going to focus on the dozen or so things already on my board.
There’s no excuse for how long I’ve left things on hold. If you’ve previously requested a slot and want to back out, I’m not going to hold it against you. If you already paid, I can’t afford to give you a refund, but I’ll do my best to complete the work in a timely manner and make sure you get what you paid for.
Once I’ve cleaned up the backlog, I’ll be reworking my prices a bit. My existing rates mean I earn about $30/hour for time spent writing the first draft. They didn’t account for the time spent discussing things with the client, editing, or preparing a post for my various galleries. Therefore, when I rework my price sheet, I’ll be better accounting for that time and increasing my hourly rate too.
Thank you for your interest, patience, and continued support, everyone. All the faves are awesome to see. The occasional comment is even better. I look forward to giving you all more things to enjoy reading.
Posted using PostyBirb
I am (hopefully temporarily) closing writing commissions.
I have too many commissions that have been in my queue for too long, and I need to focus on getting those done before I even consider taking new work. I might occasionally take an in-stream mini-fiction commission if I need to mix things up but, for the most part, I’m going to focus on the dozen or so things already on my board.
There’s no excuse for how long I’ve left things on hold. If you’ve previously requested a slot and want to back out, I’m not going to hold it against you. If you already paid, I can’t afford to give you a refund, but I’ll do my best to complete the work in a timely manner and make sure you get what you paid for.
Once I’ve cleaned up the backlog, I’ll be reworking my prices a bit. My existing rates mean I earn about $30/hour for time spent writing the first draft. They didn’t account for the time spent discussing things with the client, editing, or preparing a post for my various galleries. Therefore, when I rework my price sheet, I’ll be better accounting for that time and increasing my hourly rate too.
Thank you for your interest, patience, and continued support, everyone. All the faves are awesome to see. The occasional comment is even better. I look forward to giving you all more things to enjoy reading.
Posted using PostyBirb
Life & Writing Update 2024-04-10
Posted a year agoHello everyone and happy Wednesday. It's... been a while, huh?
Long story short: Thanks to a very patient psychologist, stronger antidepressants, therapy, and establishing a couple good habits, I am in a much better place mentally than I was two months ago. It's not that any one of those was a major breakthrough. It's the combination of them, over several weeks, has brought me to the point where I feel at least kinda functional again. It feels good to be able to get out of bed in the morning, follow some kind of morning routine, and be capable of adulting.
I have several stories on my list of things to edit, including a commission for
SilverClaw and several personal little things that I don't remember posting anywhere. Expect to see several posts in the foreseeable future. I may even have something ready to post for Thursday, depending on how quickly I can edit it and make a thumbnail. I really need to simplify my thumbnailing process so it doesn't feel like a burden, but I digress.
As for commissions: I still intend to honor all of those that I have outstanding as long as the client is still interested. As stated in my ToS, clients are allowed to back out up until the moment I accept payment, so if you haven't paid me and you no longer are interested in the commission, just let me know so I can remove you from the list. No hard feelings at all. Once I'm through the things in my queue, I'll be making another push for new commissions and for my SubscribeStar Adult page.
Streams are going to be a thing in the near future, too. I'll likely be streaming on Picarto and/or Piczel on Thursday or Friday afternoon and I'll try to post an announcement here when I go live. I'll also be doing some gaming streams on Twitch, starting with a sim race at Paul Ricard on Saturday.
I wanna get back into this. Thanks for your support, especially those of you who've reached out privately and kept me going during a difficult couple of months. <3
Posted using PostyBirb
Long story short: Thanks to a very patient psychologist, stronger antidepressants, therapy, and establishing a couple good habits, I am in a much better place mentally than I was two months ago. It's not that any one of those was a major breakthrough. It's the combination of them, over several weeks, has brought me to the point where I feel at least kinda functional again. It feels good to be able to get out of bed in the morning, follow some kind of morning routine, and be capable of adulting.
I have several stories on my list of things to edit, including a commission for
SilverClaw and several personal little things that I don't remember posting anywhere. Expect to see several posts in the foreseeable future. I may even have something ready to post for Thursday, depending on how quickly I can edit it and make a thumbnail. I really need to simplify my thumbnailing process so it doesn't feel like a burden, but I digress.As for commissions: I still intend to honor all of those that I have outstanding as long as the client is still interested. As stated in my ToS, clients are allowed to back out up until the moment I accept payment, so if you haven't paid me and you no longer are interested in the commission, just let me know so I can remove you from the list. No hard feelings at all. Once I'm through the things in my queue, I'll be making another push for new commissions and for my SubscribeStar Adult page.
Streams are going to be a thing in the near future, too. I'll likely be streaming on Picarto and/or Piczel on Thursday or Friday afternoon and I'll try to post an announcement here when I go live. I'll also be doing some gaming streams on Twitch, starting with a sim race at Paul Ricard on Saturday.
I wanna get back into this. Thanks for your support, especially those of you who've reached out privately and kept me going during a difficult couple of months. <3
Posted using PostyBirb
Life & Commission Queue Update: 2024-02-13
Posted a year agoHappy New Year!
Wait, what do you mean it’s already February?
At this point, I feel like I should just call these updates my “excuses” for not writing as much as I intended to write. I thank you all immensely for your patience with a critter whose mental health has been all over the damn place.
For once, there is some new news: I’ve switched to using Linux as my main operating system of choice. My Windows install on my laptop had slowed down to a crawl; it felt like I was actively fighting my computer to get it to do two things at a time. Swapping over to Garuda Linux may have been a more experimental leap than I strictly needed to make, but it has definitely gotten the job done. I just haven’t made the time to set up PostyBirb on Linux. I’ll be trying to resolve that today. I’d like to get back into the habit of posting something every Thursday, even if it’s a short and self-indulgent piece.
As for commission work, things are moving slowly, but steadily. I’ve actually made progress on a couple things and reaffirmed that everyone currently in my queue is still interested in keeping their slots. I’m going to try stream on Picarto and/or Piczel at least once this week, hopefully twice. Having people who expect me to be live at a certain time and to be working on stories during that time can be a useful accountability device.
Here’s my current commission queue. Only the first three slots have been paid. As I’ve previously promised, I won’t bill anyone until I’m actually going to start work on their story.
• SilverClaw - 2,000+ words about a growing dragon. Paid. Draft approved, editing needed.
• Typo / Keireer - 3,750 words about Keireer being shrunk and casually bullied by Mala & Chrys. SubscribeStar reward. Outline approved.
• Kistaro - 500 words about vore, science, and the curious intersection of the two. SubscribeStar reward.
• Anonymous - 2,250 words about forced gender transformation and sexual assault. Outline approved.
• Nick - 1,000 words about a catox being cruel to Shira. Outline approved.
• Private - 4,000+ words. Details intentionally omitted.
Wait, what do you mean it’s already February?
At this point, I feel like I should just call these updates my “excuses” for not writing as much as I intended to write. I thank you all immensely for your patience with a critter whose mental health has been all over the damn place.
For once, there is some new news: I’ve switched to using Linux as my main operating system of choice. My Windows install on my laptop had slowed down to a crawl; it felt like I was actively fighting my computer to get it to do two things at a time. Swapping over to Garuda Linux may have been a more experimental leap than I strictly needed to make, but it has definitely gotten the job done. I just haven’t made the time to set up PostyBirb on Linux. I’ll be trying to resolve that today. I’d like to get back into the habit of posting something every Thursday, even if it’s a short and self-indulgent piece.
As for commission work, things are moving slowly, but steadily. I’ve actually made progress on a couple things and reaffirmed that everyone currently in my queue is still interested in keeping their slots. I’m going to try stream on Picarto and/or Piczel at least once this week, hopefully twice. Having people who expect me to be live at a certain time and to be working on stories during that time can be a useful accountability device.
Here’s my current commission queue. Only the first three slots have been paid. As I’ve previously promised, I won’t bill anyone until I’m actually going to start work on their story.
• SilverClaw - 2,000+ words about a growing dragon. Paid. Draft approved, editing needed.
• Typo / Keireer - 3,750 words about Keireer being shrunk and casually bullied by Mala & Chrys. SubscribeStar reward. Outline approved.
• Kistaro - 500 words about vore, science, and the curious intersection of the two. SubscribeStar reward.
• Anonymous - 2,250 words about forced gender transformation and sexual assault. Outline approved.
• Nick - 1,000 words about a catox being cruel to Shira. Outline approved.
• Private - 4,000+ words. Details intentionally omitted.
Story Length Question
Posted a year agoI’ve been experimenting with varying story lengths for a while now. I’m curious, though, what you all actually enjoy reading. What’s that sweet spot between “too short” and “too long” for you?
I’m asking, in part, as I’d like to know whether you all would enjoy seeing more, shorter uploads versus fewer, longer uploads. I could probably post a 500 to 700 word story each week. I could post a 1,200 to 2,000 word story every other week. I don’t think I could do both of those alongside my normal commission work, so help me make that choice.
I’m asking, in part, as I’d like to know whether you all would enjoy seeing more, shorter uploads versus fewer, longer uploads. I could probably post a 500 to 700 word story each week. I could post a 1,200 to 2,000 word story every other week. I don’t think I could do both of those alongside my normal commission work, so help me make that choice.
Where I've been this month (tl;dr depression)
Posted 2 years agoWhere have I been? Depressed and sick, to put it plainly.
The anniversary of learning I was being laid off triggered a more severe depressive episode than I realized. It was November 16, 2022, that I was told that I'd be laid off effective in thirty days, during which time my then-employer offered exactly zero help in finding another role. Apparently, that still stings, and realizing it has been a full year since I've had a full-time job is pretty rough. While I had a short-term contract in the spring, furry writing has been my sole work for six months and it's kinda shocking to think about it that way.
COVID as the MFF con crud had me knocked on my tail for the past week. COVID isn't over, folks. I was lucky that my case ended up resembling the flu, rather than something even worse. There were several days last week that I was completely non-functional. I still have a stuffy nose, cough, and sore throat. While I'm well enough to get back to a normal-ish sleep schedule (as opposed to sleeping 10+ hours per night) I still can tell I'm not 100% and will need to physically take it easy for a while longer.
While I'm feeling considerably better on both fronts now (not 100%, but better) and intend to get back to writing this week, I may need to catch up on real world obligations before doing a writing stream. I'd like to start streaming two afternoons and one evening each week to re-establish that routine. If there's any particular days or times you'd like to watch me write, let me know in the comments and I'll see what I can do.
As for commissions: They're still open and I'm still working through a backlog. My policy has been that I don't bill people until I'm ready to begin work and I still think that's the fairest way to go about it. I have two works in progress right now and three more in my backlog. In theory, if I write at 800 words per hour, that's about ten hours of work. So if you want a slot, feel free to enquire at https://commiss.io/ShimmeringSpectrum/
Thanks for your patience, everyone, as I've muddled through all this. Writing is one of those things that still brings me joy. I've every intention of rekindling that joy and sharing it with you all. <3
The anniversary of learning I was being laid off triggered a more severe depressive episode than I realized. It was November 16, 2022, that I was told that I'd be laid off effective in thirty days, during which time my then-employer offered exactly zero help in finding another role. Apparently, that still stings, and realizing it has been a full year since I've had a full-time job is pretty rough. While I had a short-term contract in the spring, furry writing has been my sole work for six months and it's kinda shocking to think about it that way.
COVID as the MFF con crud had me knocked on my tail for the past week. COVID isn't over, folks. I was lucky that my case ended up resembling the flu, rather than something even worse. There were several days last week that I was completely non-functional. I still have a stuffy nose, cough, and sore throat. While I'm well enough to get back to a normal-ish sleep schedule (as opposed to sleeping 10+ hours per night) I still can tell I'm not 100% and will need to physically take it easy for a while longer.
While I'm feeling considerably better on both fronts now (not 100%, but better) and intend to get back to writing this week, I may need to catch up on real world obligations before doing a writing stream. I'd like to start streaming two afternoons and one evening each week to re-establish that routine. If there's any particular days or times you'd like to watch me write, let me know in the comments and I'll see what I can do.
As for commissions: They're still open and I'm still working through a backlog. My policy has been that I don't bill people until I'm ready to begin work and I still think that's the fairest way to go about it. I have two works in progress right now and three more in my backlog. In theory, if I write at 800 words per hour, that's about ten hours of work. So if you want a slot, feel free to enquire at https://commiss.io/ShimmeringSpectrum/
Thanks for your patience, everyone, as I've muddled through all this. Writing is one of those things that still brings me joy. I've every intention of rekindling that joy and sharing it with you all. <3
Writing on pause until after MFF
Posted 2 years agoSince I'm attending Midwest FurFest this weekend, my commissioned writing is on hold until after I get back from the con.
After the con, I intend on getting back to it in a serious way, likely starting with two afternoon streams and one evening stream per week to ramp back up. I'll be doing two microfics per day to try get the yearly total up to (about) 365 even if it wasn't the one-per-day that I'd initially intended to write. Beyond that, I'd love to take on some more commissions and get more support on SubscribeStar, so let me know what you all wanna see!
After the con, I intend on getting back to it in a serious way, likely starting with two afternoon streams and one evening stream per week to ramp back up. I'll be doing two microfics per day to try get the yearly total up to (about) 365 even if it wasn't the one-per-day that I'd initially intended to write. Beyond that, I'd love to take on some more commissions and get more support on SubscribeStar, so let me know what you all wanna see!
MFF 2023
Posted 2 years agoI’ll be at Midwest FurFest 2023! Hard to believe it’s nearly the end of the year, but going to a con to kick off the winter holidays is always fun.
Where are you staying?
The Staybridge, about two miles from the convention center
What day are you getting there?
Wednesday, November 29.
How are you traveling?
Flying. ✈
Who will you be rooming with?
Just
Zordrak
How is the best way to find you?
Online: Telegram. It’s the only thing that’s reliable on unreliable connections.
In person: Look for a shiny scale mail dragon tail with a rainbow stripe down the back.
Are there any panels you might be attending?
The Macro/micro meet and the Neo-Futurists show are must-attend for me. Some other events are interesting, but in general I’ll looking to spend more time with those who’d like to hang out.
Will you be suiting?
No, but if someone wants dares me to bring a Sylveon kigu I might wear it.
Do you do free art/trades?
Trades, possibly. Freebies, no.
What is your gender?
Female, more or less. She/they pronouns, please.
How tall are you?
5′9″
Can I talk to you?
Yes, please do!
Can I touch you?
Yes, if you ask first. I’ll always say yes if you ask me for a hug. Touching more than that is probably a bad idea in con space.
How can I find you?
Telegram: ShimmeringSpectrum
How long are you going?
Five nights. I depart on Monday, December 4.
Will you be going to parties?
If I’m invited, yes! Please offer/threaten a good time.
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Wave in front of me. I might not hear my name if you call it out.
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Yes, if we get along well in con space first.
Can I take your picture?
No, thank you. I’d rather not have my face in more places on the Internet than it already is.
Do you do commissions?
Yes, but I’m not likely to be in the artist’s alley. You should commission me through my normal queue: https://commiss.io/ShimmeringSpectrum/
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
• Have fun around the convention! 😇
• Give and receive as many hugs as practical.
• Meet up with some international friends I’ve never seen in person.
• Have fun behind closed doors, perhaps…? 😈
Where are you staying?
The Staybridge, about two miles from the convention center
What day are you getting there?
Wednesday, November 29.
How are you traveling?
Flying. ✈
Who will you be rooming with?
Just
ZordrakHow is the best way to find you?
Online: Telegram. It’s the only thing that’s reliable on unreliable connections.
In person: Look for a shiny scale mail dragon tail with a rainbow stripe down the back.
Are there any panels you might be attending?
The Macro/micro meet and the Neo-Futurists show are must-attend for me. Some other events are interesting, but in general I’ll looking to spend more time with those who’d like to hang out.
Will you be suiting?
No, but if someone wants dares me to bring a Sylveon kigu I might wear it.
Do you do free art/trades?
Trades, possibly. Freebies, no.
What is your gender?
Female, more or less. She/they pronouns, please.
How tall are you?
5′9″
Can I talk to you?
Yes, please do!
Can I touch you?
Yes, if you ask first. I’ll always say yes if you ask me for a hug. Touching more than that is probably a bad idea in con space.
How can I find you?
Telegram: ShimmeringSpectrum
How long are you going?
Five nights. I depart on Monday, December 4.
Will you be going to parties?
If I’m invited, yes! Please offer/threaten a good time.
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Wave in front of me. I might not hear my name if you call it out.
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Yes, if we get along well in con space first.
Can I take your picture?
No, thank you. I’d rather not have my face in more places on the Internet than it already is.
Do you do commissions?
Yes, but I’m not likely to be in the artist’s alley. You should commission me through my normal queue: https://commiss.io/ShimmeringSpectrum/
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
• Have fun around the convention! 😇
• Give and receive as many hugs as practical.
• Meet up with some international friends I’ve never seen in person.
• Have fun behind closed doors, perhaps…? 😈
SubscribeStar Adult reminder
Posted 2 years agoA reminder: I have a SubscribeStar Adult page! https://subscribestar.adult/shimmering-spectrum
Supporting me at $3/month gets you early access to stories before they’re posted anywhere else. Higher tiers also include regular, guaranteed commission slots alongside my normal commission queue.
SubscribeStar won’t enable automatic billing until I have five supporters, so I’d really like to hit that milestone this month. If you want to help me keep writing, and perhaps write for you, please sign up. I’ll be grateful. 💚
Supporting me at $3/month gets you early access to stories before they’re posted anywhere else. Higher tiers also include regular, guaranteed commission slots alongside my normal commission queue.
SubscribeStar won’t enable automatic billing until I have five supporters, so I’d really like to hit that milestone this month. If you want to help me keep writing, and perhaps write for you, please sign up. I’ll be grateful. 💚
Advice Wanted: Pricing Clarifications
Posted 2 years agoAnyone able to help a writer figure out how to phrase their pricing?
I've had a couple clients express some confusion over my pricing, especially given the way my pricing sheet is written. Those examples are three separate categories of stories, but something about the presentation just doesn't seem right. So, any advice on reworking a price sheet for a writer? I'd like to have something visual to accompany my self-promotion posts?
The most important thing I want to clarify is my pricing for stories: 4¢ per word for stories up to 4,000 words is the intended pricing. I impose a 1,000 word ($40) minimum just because that is the lower bound of what I can typically do for someone. I know some folks would rather see this described as $4 per 100 words, which I could use on the price sheet instead.
I'd also like to charge an increasing rate for stories past 4,000 words since it gets exponentially harder to focus and edit. My current plan is to add a penny per word at regular intervals past that, but some folks seem to think there's a discontinuity in the pricing. That is, they think that 4,000 words is $160, but 4,100 words would cost $205 even though the higher rate would just apply to the amount above 4,000 words. Not sure how to phrase that in a way that's not overly complex.
Open to any suggestions here, really. I want it to be easier for people to understand what I'll be charging so that, hopefully, more of y'all want to commission me. :)
I've had a couple clients express some confusion over my pricing, especially given the way my pricing sheet is written. Those examples are three separate categories of stories, but something about the presentation just doesn't seem right. So, any advice on reworking a price sheet for a writer? I'd like to have something visual to accompany my self-promotion posts?
The most important thing I want to clarify is my pricing for stories: 4¢ per word for stories up to 4,000 words is the intended pricing. I impose a 1,000 word ($40) minimum just because that is the lower bound of what I can typically do for someone. I know some folks would rather see this described as $4 per 100 words, which I could use on the price sheet instead.
I'd also like to charge an increasing rate for stories past 4,000 words since it gets exponentially harder to focus and edit. My current plan is to add a penny per word at regular intervals past that, but some folks seem to think there's a discontinuity in the pricing. That is, they think that 4,000 words is $160, but 4,100 words would cost $205 even though the higher rate would just apply to the amount above 4,000 words. Not sure how to phrase that in a way that's not overly complex.
Open to any suggestions here, really. I want it to be easier for people to understand what I'll be charging so that, hopefully, more of y'all want to commission me. :)
Lights Off! [Art or Treat 2023]
Posted 2 years agoEdit: Thanks for participating everyone! I'll catch up on these over the next day or so. 💚
It's time for
FelisRandomis's art or treat! I'm offering microfiction writing treats. :)
If you'd like one, comment “Trick or Treat!” below, then provide a link to the pic you’d like me to write about and a single kink to focus on. Treats will be posted to your DMs and my Telegram channel.
Tips are welcome but not required. <3
What is art or treat?
On the 25th through the 30th of October, post a journal/tweet/etc that's called LIGHTS ON. This shows that your "porch light" is on and you're accepting Trick or Treaters. People can come to your journal/tweet/etc and comment "Trick or Treat!" or whatever other code word you'd like to use. At which point, the creator of the journal can offer up small sketches or the like as treats for who comments. And, as to not overwhelm people, you can set a limit as to how many trick or treaters you'll take. Everyone runs out of candy eventually! Once you hit your limit you can change your journal to Lights off or closed, etc.
I feel this could be a chance for some people to get some art and have fun while doing it as well~ Also, please don't be greedy! Be courteous to your other Trick or Treaters!
Posted using PostyBirb
It's time for
FelisRandomis's art or treat! I'm offering microfiction writing treats. :)If you'd like one, comment “Trick or Treat!” below, then provide a link to the pic you’d like me to write about and a single kink to focus on. Treats will be posted to your DMs and my Telegram channel.
Tips are welcome but not required. <3
What is art or treat?
On the 25th through the 30th of October, post a journal/tweet/etc that's called LIGHTS ON. This shows that your "porch light" is on and you're accepting Trick or Treaters. People can come to your journal/tweet/etc and comment "Trick or Treat!" or whatever other code word you'd like to use. At which point, the creator of the journal can offer up small sketches or the like as treats for who comments. And, as to not overwhelm people, you can set a limit as to how many trick or treaters you'll take. Everyone runs out of candy eventually! Once you hit your limit you can change your journal to Lights off or closed, etc.
I feel this could be a chance for some people to get some art and have fun while doing it as well~ Also, please don't be greedy! Be courteous to your other Trick or Treaters!
Posted using PostyBirb
Reminder: Art or Treat 2023 starts tomorrow
Posted 2 years agoI'll be participating in FelisRandomis's art or treat, starting tomorrow. I'll be offering microfiction writing posts to people who reply to my "Lights on" post tomorrow at 
Sovrim, sovrim-terraquian, my Mastodon account, or my Telegram channel. That post will go live exactly 24 hours from now, so be ready to reply!
Posted using PostyBirb
FelisRandomis's art or treat, starting tomorrow. I'll be offering microfiction writing posts to people who reply to my "Lights on" post tomorrow at 
Sovrim, sovrim-terraquian, my Mastodon account, or my Telegram channel. That post will go live exactly 24 hours from now, so be ready to reply!Posted using PostyBirb
SubscribeStar Adult Page Now Open!
Posted 2 years agoI’ve created a SubscribeStar Adult page for my writing! Check it out at https://subscribestar.adult/shimmering-spectrum
Why? Because writing remains a primary source of income for me right now, given that hiring in the tech sector is a mess. Companies post job openings that say one thing but then have very different requirements, so finding something that matches my niche as a software/solution architect has been frustratingly difficult.
What’s in it for you? At $3/month, you’ll have early access to my stories, posted directly to the feed as soon as they’re approved by clients or edited by me. This will typically be one to three weeks before I post things to my usual galleries. To be clear: I currently do not plan to make any stories that are exclusive to SubscribeStar. Those of you who can’t subscribe aren’t going to miss anything.
Higher tiers get you some monthly writing as well. $7/month gets you a guaranteed monthly microfiction slot of 150+ words. Higher tiers entitle you to a discount on a monthly minific ($20 for 500+ words) or short story ($45 for 1,250 words), with the option to stockpile credit for up to three months to get something longer.
My long-term, aspirational goal for the page is to have $300/month in support. That would just about cover my student loan payments and be a huge relief.
Any support you can provide is greatly appreciated, whether that’s your subscription or just passing the word along. Thank you. 💚
Posted using PostyBirb
Why? Because writing remains a primary source of income for me right now, given that hiring in the tech sector is a mess. Companies post job openings that say one thing but then have very different requirements, so finding something that matches my niche as a software/solution architect has been frustratingly difficult.
What’s in it for you? At $3/month, you’ll have early access to my stories, posted directly to the feed as soon as they’re approved by clients or edited by me. This will typically be one to three weeks before I post things to my usual galleries. To be clear: I currently do not plan to make any stories that are exclusive to SubscribeStar. Those of you who can’t subscribe aren’t going to miss anything.
Higher tiers get you some monthly writing as well. $7/month gets you a guaranteed monthly microfiction slot of 150+ words. Higher tiers entitle you to a discount on a monthly minific ($20 for 500+ words) or short story ($45 for 1,250 words), with the option to stockpile credit for up to three months to get something longer.
My long-term, aspirational goal for the page is to have $300/month in support. That would just about cover my student loan payments and be a huge relief.
Any support you can provide is greatly appreciated, whether that’s your subscription or just passing the word along. Thank you. 💚
Posted using PostyBirb
Commission Queue Update 2023-10-19
Posted 2 years agoHere is the latest update on my commissions. I'm still open for new commissions! Check out this post on SoFurry for full details on how to commission me.
Ready to Post
• Commission for
FyrreX scheduled for 2 PM today
• Personal writing about shrinking and foreskin, scheduled for 10/26
• Personal writing about shrinking and orientation play, scheduled for 11/2
In Progress
•
ADarkPassenger with a 6,800 word story featuring two of their characters, one of which is being mean to another. First draft 85% complete.
•
itchigo-icetalons with a 2,500 word follow up to my previous story featuring his giant human self. First draft complete.
• Private work for an anonymous client.
• Personal writing about Shira getting "bullied" by a pair of lizards who want to show hir a good time.
Up Next
• SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring male human-to-dragon transformation and growth. Outlined, not started.
•
SoulFoxness with a 1,500 word story featuring. Outlined, not started.
• Anonymous client with a 2,250 word story about kobold TF and breeding. Outlined, not started.
•
koreley with a 2,500 word story about shrinking, musk, and escalating domination. Outline needs updating.
Posted using PostyBirb
Ready to Post
• Commission for
FyrreX scheduled for 2 PM today• Personal writing about shrinking and foreskin, scheduled for 10/26
• Personal writing about shrinking and orientation play, scheduled for 11/2
In Progress
•
ADarkPassenger with a 6,800 word story featuring two of their characters, one of which is being mean to another. First draft 85% complete.•
itchigo-icetalons with a 2,500 word follow up to my previous story featuring his giant human self. First draft complete.• Private work for an anonymous client.
• Personal writing about Shira getting "bullied" by a pair of lizards who want to show hir a good time.
Up Next
•
SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring male human-to-dragon transformation and growth. Outlined, not started.•
SoulFoxness with a 1,500 word story featuring. Outlined, not started.• Anonymous client with a 2,250 word story about kobold TF and breeding. Outlined, not started.
•
koreley with a 2,500 word story about shrinking, musk, and escalating domination. Outline needs updating.Posted using PostyBirb
Art or Treat 2023
Posted 2 years agoWhen FelisRandomis suggested Art or Treat as a thing, I figured I'd join in as well.
On around the 25th of October, I'll be posting a "Lights On" post with a link to request free microfiction from me. Same rules as my normal commissions, except these are treats for all of y'all. :)
I plan on accepting at least ten and may take up to thirty, depending on how much time and energy I have in the build-up to BLFC at the end of the month. Expect a post here and on my Mastodon account on macrofurs.social when I'm ready to start accepting them!
On the 25th through the 30th of October, post a journal/tweet/etc that's called LIGHTS ON. This shows that your "porch light" is on and you're accepting Trick or Treaters. People can come to your journal/tweet/etc and comment "Trick or Treat!" or whatever other code word you'd like to use. At which point, the creator of the journal can offer up small sketches or the like as treats for who comments. And, as to not overwhelm people, you can set a limit as to how many trick or treaters you'll take. Everyone runs out of candy eventually! Once you hit your limit you can change your journal to Lights off or closed, etc.
I feel this could be a chance for some people to get some art and have fun while doing it as well~
Also, please don't be greedy! Be courteous to your other Trick or Treaters!
FelisRandomis suggested Art or Treat as a thing, I figured I'd join in as well.On around the 25th of October, I'll be posting a "Lights On" post with a link to request free microfiction from me. Same rules as my normal commissions, except these are treats for all of y'all. :)
I plan on accepting at least ten and may take up to thirty, depending on how much time and energy I have in the build-up to BLFC at the end of the month. Expect a post here and on my Mastodon account on macrofurs.social when I'm ready to start accepting them!
On the 25th through the 30th of October, post a journal/tweet/etc that's called LIGHTS ON. This shows that your "porch light" is on and you're accepting Trick or Treaters. People can come to your journal/tweet/etc and comment "Trick or Treat!" or whatever other code word you'd like to use. At which point, the creator of the journal can offer up small sketches or the like as treats for who comments. And, as to not overwhelm people, you can set a limit as to how many trick or treaters you'll take. Everyone runs out of candy eventually! Once you hit your limit you can change your journal to Lights off or closed, etc.
I feel this could be a chance for some people to get some art and have fun while doing it as well~
Also, please don't be greedy! Be courteous to your other Trick or Treaters!
Commission Queue Update 2023-09-27
Posted 2 years agoHere is the latest update on my commissions. I'm still open for new commissions! Check out this post on SoFurry for full details on how to commission me.
Ready to Post
• A short self-indulgent piece featuring shrinking and foreskin.
In Progress
•
thewonderingcanine with a 3,000 story about digitalization and deletion. Draft approved. Editing ready to begin.
• ADarkPassenger with a 6,800 word story featuring two of their characters, one of which is being mean to another. First draft 60% complete.
• itchigo-icetalons with a 2,500 word follow up to my previous story featuring his giant human self. First draft 15% complete.
• Private work for an anonymous client.
Up Next
• SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring male human-to-dragon transformation and growth. Outlined, not started.
• SoulFoxness with a 1,500 word story featuring. Outlined, not started.
•
kilodyne with a minific about growth and betrayal by a bigger giant. Not started.
• scruffybrush with a minific trade featuring shrinking and light teasing. Not started.
• Anonymous client with a story about kobold TF and breeding. Outlining in progress.
On Hold
• FyrreX with a 2,000 word story featuring shrinking. Draft complete, but on hold pending payment.
• Anonymous client with with a 2,500 word story featuring shrinking, musk, and con-to-noncon themes. Outline provided to client but is pending approval.
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Ready to Post
• A short self-indulgent piece featuring shrinking and foreskin.
In Progress
•
thewonderingcanine with a 3,000 story about digitalization and deletion. Draft approved. Editing ready to begin.•
ADarkPassenger with a 6,800 word story featuring two of their characters, one of which is being mean to another. First draft 60% complete.•
itchigo-icetalons with a 2,500 word follow up to my previous story featuring his giant human self. First draft 15% complete.• Private work for an anonymous client.
Up Next
•
SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring male human-to-dragon transformation and growth. Outlined, not started.•
SoulFoxness with a 1,500 word story featuring. Outlined, not started.•
kilodyne with a minific about growth and betrayal by a bigger giant. Not started.• scruffybrush with a minific trade featuring shrinking and light teasing. Not started.
• Anonymous client with a story about kobold TF and breeding. Outlining in progress.
On Hold
•
FyrreX with a 2,000 word story featuring shrinking. Draft complete, but on hold pending payment.• Anonymous client with with a 2,500 word story featuring shrinking, musk, and con-to-noncon themes. Outline provided to client but is pending approval.
Posted using PostyBirb
Mental Health: Depression, Burnout, and the Long Road to ...
Posted 2 years agotl;dr - Depression and burnout have absolutely wrecked me over the last three to four months, but I’m getting help.
I’ve been debating on whether to write a journal like this at all or not. I know this is a place where a lot of people go to get away from real–world issues and I don’t want to deprive anyone of their relaxation. However, given that I’m allegedly still doing commissions and have shown almost nothing for the last several months, I feel I owe it to everyone (including myself) to explain the situation.
Shortly after FWA, I was laid off. Again. For the second time in six months. That absolutely destroyed me, since I genuinely thought I had a unique opportunity to do something with my career. Since then, I’ve had days where I’ve struggled to find reasons to get out of bed. Given that I didn’t have a job and didn’t have a reason to believe anyone wanted to offer me a job, it was logical. Unproductive, but logical. I’ve barely put any effort into a job search over the last three months and, while my emergency funds will last a couple more months, it’s getting a bit sketchy. Especially since the longer you’re out of work the harder it is to find work because fuck you, I guess.
That same apathy and lethargy has seeped into a lot of other things as well. Hobbies have been neglected. Chores, too. Unfortunately, that’s also influenced my writing habits quite a bit, as evidenced by the near–total lack of streams over the last month and uploads over the last few months. It sucks, since I know people actually want to read my writing. They want to enjoy what I write for them, in a variety of ways. They have enough faith in my abilities to give me money to create things for them. And yet… it’s just not been happening, and that feeling of neglect for so many things has been on a downward spiral.
Perhaps the worst spike of depression was in the week after two extremely close friends visited in mid-August. I was so, so happy that week. Happiness that I don’t think I’ve experienced in a long time. And yet, once they left… I really had nothing left to look forward to again. No reason to get out of bed in the morning. Nobody around to give me a comforting hug. Nobody to help with things around the lair, or to just do random silly little things with because they make us all happy. I was alone. Completely, utterly alone. And, well, I kinda broke.
I mostly held it together through the weekend after they left, but on Monday and Tuesday of that week, I just stopped functioning. I roughly managed to muddle my way out of bed on Monday but got nothing of substance accomplished. Tuesday, after a psychiatrist visit, I curled back up in bed for the entire day. I felt incapable of even trying to interact with another creature. During that time, just three people reached out to check on me. The first offered reassurances and gentle support for whenever I was ready to accept them. The second was (understandably) panicking, as they’d had a vague sense of how depressed I’d been and worried I’d self–harmed. The third… well, they seemed to have been angrier about being ‘ghosted’ than they were concerned about me. I’ve barely spoken with that last person since then. How do you even respond to someone who gets mad at you for being so depressed you can’t talk with them?
Between that meltdown and the slow downward slide of things over the last many months, I’ve been given a much higher dose of antidepressants and have been starting to talk with a therapist. It’s probably stuff I needed to do six months ago. Maybe even a year and a half ago, given how apathetic I’d been towards the job I held at the time. But at least I’m doing it now. One doctor already has noted the correlation between my increasing doses of estrogen and worsening depression, which… well, I guess teenage girls also have high rates of depression and I’ve opted-in to Puberty 2.0™ as part of gender–affirming therapy. I definitely do not regret any part of being on HRT, but the psychiatrist has noted it’s probably medically relevant, even if only to justify more decisive intervention on the mental health side.
So yeah, that’s where I’ve been. I’ve felt like I’m in a pit, only occasionally finding the energy to pull my head out. Finding the energy to do anything more than survive has been extremely challenging. Hopefully between the psychiatrist, the therapist, and being willing to talk about my mental health, some answers can be found. Even if that answer is just having more people to lean on and be emotionally supported by.
So, what does this mean for my writing?
• I’m going to try get the remaining items in my queue sorted out. I’ll be posting an updated queue on Monday to have a public record of where my projects stand.
• For new work, I’m going to create and communicate ‘reasonable’ deadlines. These will probably be very pessimistic estimates at first, but just having a due date on the calendar is useful for forcing me to do things.
• I’m going to start doing “Fast Fiction Fridays” on Picarto/Piczel to build momentum via shorter projects. In-stream commissions for minifiction (500-700 words) and microfiction (150-200 words) will be available for immediate completion. Because if my brain’s going to get distracted by ooh shiny! I may as well leverage that.
• I may start a Patreon/SubscribeStar page for recurring support, possibly with a slight discount for people who commit to getting a short commission each month. I’ve no intention of paywalling my writing at this time, though. At most, I’d consider early access. But I’d rather just share it with y’all, since this community has been so great to me over the decades.
So if you want a commission from me, please feel free to ask. I’ll probably make a big announcement about openings within the next two weeks once I’ve gotten things back in order. However, if you’d like to beat the rush, feel free to complete the commission form now and I’ll look at it early next week. Consider this link a little bonus for having read all the way through this journal.
And hey, more generally: Tell your friends you care. Just drop in to check on them. Give them a hug, in person if you can. Even a small gesture of kindness, made sincerely and without expectation, can mean everything to someone who’s struggling. A lot of people suffer in silence because it’s taboo to talk about mental health things like this and they may need that kindness more than you’ll ever know.
Posted using PostyBirb
I’ve been debating on whether to write a journal like this at all or not. I know this is a place where a lot of people go to get away from real–world issues and I don’t want to deprive anyone of their relaxation. However, given that I’m allegedly still doing commissions and have shown almost nothing for the last several months, I feel I owe it to everyone (including myself) to explain the situation.
Shortly after FWA, I was laid off. Again. For the second time in six months. That absolutely destroyed me, since I genuinely thought I had a unique opportunity to do something with my career. Since then, I’ve had days where I’ve struggled to find reasons to get out of bed. Given that I didn’t have a job and didn’t have a reason to believe anyone wanted to offer me a job, it was logical. Unproductive, but logical. I’ve barely put any effort into a job search over the last three months and, while my emergency funds will last a couple more months, it’s getting a bit sketchy. Especially since the longer you’re out of work the harder it is to find work because fuck you, I guess.
That same apathy and lethargy has seeped into a lot of other things as well. Hobbies have been neglected. Chores, too. Unfortunately, that’s also influenced my writing habits quite a bit, as evidenced by the near–total lack of streams over the last month and uploads over the last few months. It sucks, since I know people actually want to read my writing. They want to enjoy what I write for them, in a variety of ways. They have enough faith in my abilities to give me money to create things for them. And yet… it’s just not been happening, and that feeling of neglect for so many things has been on a downward spiral.
Perhaps the worst spike of depression was in the week after two extremely close friends visited in mid-August. I was so, so happy that week. Happiness that I don’t think I’ve experienced in a long time. And yet, once they left… I really had nothing left to look forward to again. No reason to get out of bed in the morning. Nobody around to give me a comforting hug. Nobody to help with things around the lair, or to just do random silly little things with because they make us all happy. I was alone. Completely, utterly alone. And, well, I kinda broke.
I mostly held it together through the weekend after they left, but on Monday and Tuesday of that week, I just stopped functioning. I roughly managed to muddle my way out of bed on Monday but got nothing of substance accomplished. Tuesday, after a psychiatrist visit, I curled back up in bed for the entire day. I felt incapable of even trying to interact with another creature. During that time, just three people reached out to check on me. The first offered reassurances and gentle support for whenever I was ready to accept them. The second was (understandably) panicking, as they’d had a vague sense of how depressed I’d been and worried I’d self–harmed. The third… well, they seemed to have been angrier about being ‘ghosted’ than they were concerned about me. I’ve barely spoken with that last person since then. How do you even respond to someone who gets mad at you for being so depressed you can’t talk with them?
Between that meltdown and the slow downward slide of things over the last many months, I’ve been given a much higher dose of antidepressants and have been starting to talk with a therapist. It’s probably stuff I needed to do six months ago. Maybe even a year and a half ago, given how apathetic I’d been towards the job I held at the time. But at least I’m doing it now. One doctor already has noted the correlation between my increasing doses of estrogen and worsening depression, which… well, I guess teenage girls also have high rates of depression and I’ve opted-in to Puberty 2.0™ as part of gender–affirming therapy. I definitely do not regret any part of being on HRT, but the psychiatrist has noted it’s probably medically relevant, even if only to justify more decisive intervention on the mental health side.
So yeah, that’s where I’ve been. I’ve felt like I’m in a pit, only occasionally finding the energy to pull my head out. Finding the energy to do anything more than survive has been extremely challenging. Hopefully between the psychiatrist, the therapist, and being willing to talk about my mental health, some answers can be found. Even if that answer is just having more people to lean on and be emotionally supported by.
So, what does this mean for my writing?
• I’m going to try get the remaining items in my queue sorted out. I’ll be posting an updated queue on Monday to have a public record of where my projects stand.
• For new work, I’m going to create and communicate ‘reasonable’ deadlines. These will probably be very pessimistic estimates at first, but just having a due date on the calendar is useful for forcing me to do things.
• I’m going to start doing “Fast Fiction Fridays” on Picarto/Piczel to build momentum via shorter projects. In-stream commissions for minifiction (500-700 words) and microfiction (150-200 words) will be available for immediate completion. Because if my brain’s going to get distracted by ooh shiny! I may as well leverage that.
• I may start a Patreon/SubscribeStar page for recurring support, possibly with a slight discount for people who commit to getting a short commission each month. I’ve no intention of paywalling my writing at this time, though. At most, I’d consider early access. But I’d rather just share it with y’all, since this community has been so great to me over the decades.
So if you want a commission from me, please feel free to ask. I’ll probably make a big announcement about openings within the next two weeks once I’ve gotten things back in order. However, if you’d like to beat the rush, feel free to complete the commission form now and I’ll look at it early next week. Consider this link a little bonus for having read all the way through this journal.
And hey, more generally: Tell your friends you care. Just drop in to check on them. Give them a hug, in person if you can. Even a small gesture of kindness, made sincerely and without expectation, can mean everything to someone who’s struggling. A lot of people suffer in silence because it’s taboo to talk about mental health things like this and they may need that kindness more than you’ll ever know.
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Commission Queue Update 2023-08-30
Posted 2 years agoHere is the latest update on my commissions. Apologies for the long delay in updates. I was hosting some friends for a week and dealing with some IRL things in the week following.
I'm still open for new commissions! Check out this post on SoFurry for full details on how to commission me.
In Progress
• FyrreX with a 2,000 word story featuring shrinking. First draft 30% complete.
Up Next
• SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring male human-to-dragon transformation and growth. Outlined, not started.
• SoulFoxness with a 1,500 word story featuring. Outlined, not started.
On Hold
• ADarkPassenger with a 6,800 word story featuring two of his characters, one of which is being mean to another. First draft 50% complete. On hold pending client feedback.
• thewonderingcanine with a 3,000 story about digitalization and deletion. First draft complete. On hold pending payment.
• itchigo-icetalons with a 2,500 word follow up to my previous story featuring his giant human self. First draft 25% complete. On hold pending client feedback.
Posted using PostyBirb
I'm still open for new commissions! Check out this post on SoFurry for full details on how to commission me.
In Progress
•
FyrreX with a 2,000 word story featuring shrinking. First draft 30% complete.Up Next
•
SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring male human-to-dragon transformation and growth. Outlined, not started.•
SoulFoxness with a 1,500 word story featuring. Outlined, not started.On Hold
•
ADarkPassenger with a 6,800 word story featuring two of his characters, one of which is being mean to another. First draft 50% complete. On hold pending client feedback.•
thewonderingcanine with a 3,000 story about digitalization and deletion. First draft complete. On hold pending payment.•
itchigo-icetalons with a 2,500 word follow up to my previous story featuring his giant human self. First draft 25% complete. On hold pending client feedback.Posted using PostyBirb
Commission Queue Update 2023-08-02
Posted 2 years agoHere is the latest update on my commissions. I've been slow on work lately due to some unexpected IRL things and a planned visit from a friend, but I intend on getting back up to speed this week. Expect some stream announcements, or just follow my Picarto or Piczel pages. :)
Ready to Post
• SilverClaw with a 2,700 word story featuring a human undergoing male-to-herm transformation.
• FyrreX with a 3,500 word story featuring shrinking and a bad end.
• Taco with a microfic about shrinking after you bullied a kobold.
In Progress
• ADarkPassenger with a 6,800 word story featuring two of his characters, one of which is being mean to another. First draft 25% complete.
• Private work for an anonymous client.
Up Next
• thewonderingcanine with a 3,000 story about digitalization and deletion. Outlined, not started.
• itchigo-icetalons with a 2,500 word follow up to my previous story featuring his giant human self. Outlined, not started.
• SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring male human-to-dragon transformation and growth. Outlined, not started.
• FyrreX with a 2,000 word story featuring shrinking. Outlined, not started.
• SoulFoxness with a 1,500 word story featuring. Outlined, not started.
Posted using PostyBirb
Ready to Post
•
SilverClaw with a 2,700 word story featuring a human undergoing male-to-herm transformation.•
FyrreX with a 3,500 word story featuring shrinking and a bad end.• Taco with a microfic about shrinking after you bullied a kobold.
In Progress
•
ADarkPassenger with a 6,800 word story featuring two of his characters, one of which is being mean to another. First draft 25% complete.• Private work for an anonymous client.
Up Next
•
thewonderingcanine with a 3,000 story about digitalization and deletion. Outlined, not started.•
itchigo-icetalons with a 2,500 word follow up to my previous story featuring his giant human self. Outlined, not started.•
SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring male human-to-dragon transformation and growth. Outlined, not started.•
FyrreX with a 2,000 word story featuring shrinking. Outlined, not started.•
SoulFoxness with a 1,500 word story featuring. Outlined, not started.Posted using PostyBirb
Mastodon
Posted 2 years agoWith the ridiculous rebranding of Twitter as X, it seems like a good time to post about my own social media presence.
You can find me on Mastodon: @KinkyKobolds@meow.social
If you're not on Mastodon yet, there are a lot of servers you could join and, no matter which you sign up for, you can follow people on any other server. Alternately, if you'd rather get sent directly to a sign up page, here's an invite code for meow.social good for this week only: https://meow.social/invite/pDn7PR5Q
You can find me on Mastodon: @KinkyKobolds@meow.social
If you're not on Mastodon yet, there are a lot of servers you could join and, no matter which you sign up for, you can follow people on any other server. Alternately, if you'd rather get sent directly to a sign up page, here's an invite code for meow.social good for this week only: https://meow.social/invite/pDn7PR5Q
Commission Queue Update 2023-06-27
Posted 2 years agoHere is the latest update on my commissions. I'm still open for new commissions! Check out this post on SoFurry for full details on how to commission me.
In Progress
• ADarkPassenger with a 6,800 word story featuring two of his characters, one of which is being mean to another. First draft 5% complete
• FyrreX with a 3,500 word story featuring femdom (hermdom?), shrinking, and a bad end. First draft 30% complete.
Up Next
• SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring a human undergoing male-to-herm transformation. Outlined, ready to begin.
• Private work for an anonymous client.
• itchigo-icetalons with a follow up to my previous story featuring his giant human self. Not outlined.
• thewonderingcanine with a story about digitalization and deletion. Outlined, not started.
• SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring male human-to-dragon transformation. Outlined, but on hold until I finish his first commission.
Posted using PostyBirb
In Progress
•
ADarkPassenger with a 6,800 word story featuring two of his characters, one of which is being mean to another. First draft 5% complete•
FyrreX with a 3,500 word story featuring femdom (hermdom?), shrinking, and a bad end. First draft 30% complete.Up Next
•
SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring a human undergoing male-to-herm transformation. Outlined, ready to begin.• Private work for an anonymous client.
•
itchigo-icetalons with a follow up to my previous story featuring his giant human self. Not outlined.•
thewonderingcanine with a story about digitalization and deletion. Outlined, not started.•
SilverClaw with a 2,000 word story featuring male human-to-dragon transformation. Outlined, but on hold until I finish his first commission.Posted using PostyBirb
Writing Commissions Now Open
Posted 2 years agoEver wanted me to write something for you? I'm ready to take on more commissions, so now is your chance! I'm open for works ranging from 150 word microfics to 10,000+ word erotic novellas. Writing is my sole job for the foreseeable future, so I'll be open for commissions indefinitely.
These commissions are not first-come-first-served. I'll be reaching out to you to confirm what you'd like and make sure both you and I are happy with making it happen.
If you would like a commission, please fill out this Google Form and I'll get back to you within 24 hours. For full details on pricing and acceptable content, see my Terms of Service as posted on FurAffinity or SoFurry.
Posted using PostyBirb
These commissions are not first-come-first-served. I'll be reaching out to you to confirm what you'd like and make sure both you and I are happy with making it happen.
If you would like a commission, please fill out this Google Form and I'll get back to you within 24 hours. For full details on pricing and acceptable content, see my Terms of Service as posted on FurAffinity or SoFurry.
Posted using PostyBirb
