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Posted 5 years agoShould I start writing again? Been a while since my last Yoshi story...
TWO
Posted 6 years agoLook at that, twice in a row! Two whole nights! I've been looking back at my old journals, and...yeeesh. I was a little bitchy thing. To be fair, I was also under a lot of stress and in a pretty dreadful home life. I'm glad I have those, tho. I'm quite I can look back at those and see where I was and chart where I am not. How much better things have gotten. What I've left behind, and all that. I'm not the pup I was, but was it necessary to become the wolf I am?
Edit: I mean, holy cats meow, how did you lot put up with me and all of my bullshit? I was a crazy little ball of insanity! @_@
Edit: I mean, holy cats meow, how did you lot put up with me and all of my bullshit? I was a crazy little ball of insanity! @_@
...Is this thing on?
Posted 6 years agoSo...uh...Hiya.
Good news everyone: I'm not dead. Yeah, yeah, it's been a while. Had a lot of life to deal with, and sorta took a break from the whole...um...wolf, thing. Grew up. Got older. Got wiser. You know how it goes. Moved out, got my life together, got a car, got better The other night, I was wondering if my Sparkle account was still around. Turns out it is. Lookie that. I'd forgotten my password, and figured nobody really cared that I was around or not, so I didn't check in. If you were waiting on me, I'm sorry I haven't been around.
~Sparkle
Good news everyone: I'm not dead. Yeah, yeah, it's been a while. Had a lot of life to deal with, and sorta took a break from the whole...um...wolf, thing. Grew up. Got older. Got wiser. You know how it goes. Moved out, got my life together, got a car, got better The other night, I was wondering if my Sparkle account was still around. Turns out it is. Lookie that. I'd forgotten my password, and figured nobody really cared that I was around or not, so I didn't check in. If you were waiting on me, I'm sorry I haven't been around.
~Sparkle
Say ...
Posted 14 years agoIf I started writing again, would anybody care to read?
Sneak sneak sneak
Posted 14 years ago*Sneaks on by. Sneak sneak sneak*
Still Alive
Posted 15 years agoThis was a Triumph...
Wait, no , no, that's not right.
Hey guys! I'm still up and kicking. But like I said, I haven't been around here all that often. But just ta let you know, I'm still alive! :D
Happy Holidays! :D
Wait, no , no, that's not right.
Hey guys! I'm still up and kicking. But like I said, I haven't been around here all that often. But just ta let you know, I'm still alive! :D
Happy Holidays! :D
where we are now
Posted 15 years agoDownstairs, having discovered I wasn't supposed to go to work today until MUCH later, I was having breakfast with my mother. In her defense, she made me eggs and some very VERY delicious bacon. This isn't an "I hate this woman" journal...
But we're sitting there, and she's watching Divorce Court, which I personally, think is a mockery of our justice system- which is a mockery of itself, but I digress. And she's watching it and I look at her, watching these people screaming at each other, and I says to her, I says: "why do you WATCH this dribble?" (Mind you, this is a step up from when she used to watch Jerry Springer)
"Oh, it amuses me."
"You're amused by watching people squabble with each other? and people's who's lives are worst than yours?"
"No, I just find it comical that they would air their dirty laundry out like this in public. I don't like watching stuff on t.v. that makes me feel stuff. I don't like to think a lot. "
Say it with me folks.
NO SHIT!!!!
It has come to my attention, that these people and I are very, VERY different from one and other.
In other news, been running into a certain awesome mouse lately, and that's pretty much made my day each and every time. :)
But we're sitting there, and she's watching Divorce Court, which I personally, think is a mockery of our justice system- which is a mockery of itself, but I digress. And she's watching it and I look at her, watching these people screaming at each other, and I says to her, I says: "why do you WATCH this dribble?" (Mind you, this is a step up from when she used to watch Jerry Springer)
"Oh, it amuses me."
"You're amused by watching people squabble with each other? and people's who's lives are worst than yours?"
"No, I just find it comical that they would air their dirty laundry out like this in public. I don't like watching stuff on t.v. that makes me feel stuff. I don't like to think a lot. "
Say it with me folks.
NO SHIT!!!!
It has come to my attention, that these people and I are very, VERY different from one and other.
In other news, been running into a certain awesome mouse lately, and that's pretty much made my day each and every time. :)
Dream Journal- Terrible Toe
Posted 15 years agoI was in the bathroom, at my old, old house, getting ready to go out. I don't know why I keep dreaming I live there, but I was in there anyway. When I woke up that morning my foot was hurting, but it wasn't until I got into the bathroom that I realized why- there was a toe on it. Wtf. My foot had grown an additional toe over night, but not in a normal spot- but on top of the foot- like a blemish.
I began to panic, cause what the fuck, it's a toe. I can't just tear it off, and it hurt! So I called my brother, with no other options and no idea what to do.
that's when I noticed my second problem: A pimple on my cheek. A huge pimple that had my face. It didn't say anything, so it wasn't like family guy, or anything, it just had my face and stared at me. My brother came over, freaked out when he saw it, and burst it with a pin. But instead of popping like a normal zit, it actually 'fell' off and rolled to the ground in a bloody smear. (I know. I KNOW. You think you're grossed out, my brain was telling me this was really happening!) My brother told me he found a place that could help with my foot, but it would take an entire week to fix. I was like. A whole week? that's it? Fuck, lets do it!!
I was on the playground, and these kids kept teasing me. Again and again and again. They kept running up and hitting me, or poking me with sticks. So I beat the ever loving hell out of them with violence. I haven't used tae kwan do in a long time, but it was like one of those old kung fu movies, which made me giggle. I was trying to get to my mother, who was living in jungle gym for some reason. She kept calling me on my cell phone to collect bugs for her. I didn't know why she couldn't catch her own damn bugs, but whatever. Eventually I got there, caught her a beetle, but when I bought it to her, it flew out of my hands.
She looked at me, and smiled sadly, and said that's alright, thanks for trying.
I asked her why she wanted bugs, and she said she was hungry, and hadn't eaten today. The bank forclosed on her house and thats why she had to live in the jungle gym. D:
I asked her why she didn't tell me and she said she didn't want to be a bother. D:
ffffffffffffffuck. When I woke up I found her and gave her a hug.
I began to panic, cause what the fuck, it's a toe. I can't just tear it off, and it hurt! So I called my brother, with no other options and no idea what to do.
that's when I noticed my second problem: A pimple on my cheek. A huge pimple that had my face. It didn't say anything, so it wasn't like family guy, or anything, it just had my face and stared at me. My brother came over, freaked out when he saw it, and burst it with a pin. But instead of popping like a normal zit, it actually 'fell' off and rolled to the ground in a bloody smear. (I know. I KNOW. You think you're grossed out, my brain was telling me this was really happening!) My brother told me he found a place that could help with my foot, but it would take an entire week to fix. I was like. A whole week? that's it? Fuck, lets do it!!
I was on the playground, and these kids kept teasing me. Again and again and again. They kept running up and hitting me, or poking me with sticks. So I beat the ever loving hell out of them with violence. I haven't used tae kwan do in a long time, but it was like one of those old kung fu movies, which made me giggle. I was trying to get to my mother, who was living in jungle gym for some reason. She kept calling me on my cell phone to collect bugs for her. I didn't know why she couldn't catch her own damn bugs, but whatever. Eventually I got there, caught her a beetle, but when I bought it to her, it flew out of my hands.
She looked at me, and smiled sadly, and said that's alright, thanks for trying.
I asked her why she wanted bugs, and she said she was hungry, and hadn't eaten today. The bank forclosed on her house and thats why she had to live in the jungle gym. D:
I asked her why she didn't tell me and she said she didn't want to be a bother. D:
ffffffffffffffuck. When I woke up I found her and gave her a hug.
Major Magic
Posted 15 years agoI must have been 5 or 6. I walked into the kitchen where my mom was doing bills, and said: "Mommy? Can we go to Major Magics?" ( Think of it as Chuck E. Cheese )
And she turned, and she looked at me and said "...Ok."
And then she scooped me and my brother up, and we drove off, and I played Ski-ball for an hour and a half, got so many tickets I won a Zebra from the prize vendor.
I don't know why that popped into my head. But I should thank her the next chance I get.
And she turned, and she looked at me and said "...Ok."
And then she scooped me and my brother up, and we drove off, and I played Ski-ball for an hour and a half, got so many tickets I won a Zebra from the prize vendor.
I don't know why that popped into my head. But I should thank her the next chance I get.
Here it comes
Posted 15 years agoAnd it's going to suck.
Still looking
Posted 15 years agoHey mom. It's me again. I've been looking for you lately, but have had little luck finding you. I wonder if you ever think about me. I think about you all the time. Sometimes I wonder if things would have been better if I'd known you. If you would have treated me better or worse then my parents now. I suppose in the end everyone tries to do the best with what they have.
I'm sure you did your best. It's why I'm here where I am with what I have. I work two jobs now, and I pay my own bills. I don't do drugs or drink or have any kids or steal. I think you'd be proud of me. I wish I could show you my wolf collection, or my books or my writing. I think you'd show me your music...
I miss you mom. I wish I got to know you.
Maybe one day.
I love you, and always will.
I'm sure you did your best. It's why I'm here where I am with what I have. I work two jobs now, and I pay my own bills. I don't do drugs or drink or have any kids or steal. I think you'd be proud of me. I wish I could show you my wolf collection, or my books or my writing. I think you'd show me your music...
I miss you mom. I wish I got to know you.
Maybe one day.
I love you, and always will.
...Wait...
Posted 15 years agoAwwwwww fuck.
This week is going to be terrible. I know it.
I can feel it.
I'm going to get kicked out. I just know it. ;_;
This week is going to be terrible. I know it.
I can feel it.
I'm going to get kicked out. I just know it. ;_;
Seriously.
Posted 15 years agoStill alive. ^-^;;;
Still here...
Posted 16 years agoYeah. I am. Sparse but I'm still up and kicking.
Dawn's Edge (End of the twilight)
Posted 16 years agoSo, I've come to a conclusion, that I think I'll be closing out this account. This page. This character, so to speak. Now, I'm not gonna actually leave the fandom and what not, but I think I'm done with telling 'Sparkle's' story, so to speak. She's a character, one of my favorites, but she isn't me. And you can only tell a story for so long before it starts to become boring. If anyone had been actually following along with her story, I'll give you an ending here as to what she originally was supposed to do.
In her mid thirties, Spark runs into a teen aged runaway and her little sister. Spark offers them a spot in her apartment for a little while. Eventually, she of course, adopts them and discovers the eldest of the duo has a talent for magic, and Spark twists her into a protege. With the new life, Spark offers to continue her mother's tradition of new names and dubs the two girls "Glitter" and Gleam
Glitter has a talent for shadow magic and becomes 'Dazzler the 5th' inheriting her mother's title.
Gleam Likes theater and illusions, and starts a club at her school for slight of hand tricks.
Happy ending get! XD
Of course, Spark is still with Siera no doubt and no surprise.
But, this character has a lot of drama behind her, the good kind and the bad kind and quite literally, a mentally challenged stalker. >.> That's a lot of weight, and I'd really rather just put it all off to the side. Now this doesn't mean I won't respond to e-mails or what not, but really I just don't see myself being quite as active here anymore. So, we'll see what the new year brings and And hopefully, more smiles and less frowns.
In her mid thirties, Spark runs into a teen aged runaway and her little sister. Spark offers them a spot in her apartment for a little while. Eventually, she of course, adopts them and discovers the eldest of the duo has a talent for magic, and Spark twists her into a protege. With the new life, Spark offers to continue her mother's tradition of new names and dubs the two girls "Glitter" and Gleam
Glitter has a talent for shadow magic and becomes 'Dazzler the 5th' inheriting her mother's title.
Gleam Likes theater and illusions, and starts a club at her school for slight of hand tricks.
Happy ending get! XD
Of course, Spark is still with Siera no doubt and no surprise.
But, this character has a lot of drama behind her, the good kind and the bad kind and quite literally, a mentally challenged stalker. >.> That's a lot of weight, and I'd really rather just put it all off to the side. Now this doesn't mean I won't respond to e-mails or what not, but really I just don't see myself being quite as active here anymore. So, we'll see what the new year brings and And hopefully, more smiles and less frowns.
We have....news.
Posted 16 years agoSoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo .......
Wow. Talk about a turn around...
I...don't even know how to explain what's happened. I...guess...
erm...
>.>
Wow.
Ok, still in shock here myself. Mom and Dad went ahead and bought a house. another one. Way up in North Carolina...or is that down? Or East? West? Ok, you know what? Never mind, the point is, they went ahead and bought a home. But what are they gonna do with THIS place you might ask?
...
...
...
They...gave it to me and my brother.
So they'll drop in every now and then but...uh...after Christmas they'll be gone up until may. They drop in for a week and then leave again. So, I uh...I guess...I...guess ...
I...don't even know what this is.
Wow. Talk about a turn around...
I...don't even know how to explain what's happened. I...guess...
erm...
>.>
Wow.
Ok, still in shock here myself. Mom and Dad went ahead and bought a house. another one. Way up in North Carolina...or is that down? Or East? West? Ok, you know what? Never mind, the point is, they went ahead and bought a home. But what are they gonna do with THIS place you might ask?
...
...
...
They...gave it to me and my brother.
So they'll drop in every now and then but...uh...after Christmas they'll be gone up until may. They drop in for a week and then leave again. So, I uh...I guess...I...guess ...
I...don't even know what this is.
Time to leave, I guess.
Posted 16 years agoMy new therapists says I can't stay here anymore. It's not like I've wanted to, but recently things have just...gotten out of hand.
I had my appointment a few days ago, and I wanted to go. REally I did, but my mother refused to take me. I had a tear in the knee of my jeans, and she said she didn't like the way they looked, and thus, she wouldn't take me.
My mother held my own mental health and well being over a pair of pants, and decided this was ok. Me. Her suicidal child...and...the message here is pants are more important then what I feel for you. I don't even know. I don't. I think whatever I wear to talk to this person about my deepest darkest fears and problems, as long as I'm comfortable, it shouldn't matter what I'm wearing. But refusing me help because of a pair of pants is just absolutely fucking insane.
So I'm looking into government housing projects and safe houses. x.x
I had my appointment a few days ago, and I wanted to go. REally I did, but my mother refused to take me. I had a tear in the knee of my jeans, and she said she didn't like the way they looked, and thus, she wouldn't take me.
My mother held my own mental health and well being over a pair of pants, and decided this was ok. Me. Her suicidal child...and...the message here is pants are more important then what I feel for you. I don't even know. I don't. I think whatever I wear to talk to this person about my deepest darkest fears and problems, as long as I'm comfortable, it shouldn't matter what I'm wearing. But refusing me help because of a pair of pants is just absolutely fucking insane.
So I'm looking into government housing projects and safe houses. x.x
HUFF. DAMN IT YOU GUYS
Posted 16 years agoMy...I'm so furious right now. It's my day off and I'm happy. I'm basking in it. I made the mistake of remarking that it feels nice that I don't have any appointments to go running off to. No meetings, no work today, just sit and relax and my mother turns and looks at me and begins to rant abut how OTHER folks my age have full time jobs and have 8 hours a day, like my BROTHER and what fucking magical invisible race am I supposed to be running in for this woman? FUCK YOU! I'm working two jobs and doing the best with what I've got. If I wasn't trying, that'd be one thing, but I'm doing what I can...and...why? Why do they say things like that? What do they want from me?!
WHAT DO THEY WANT?!
Stuff they say doesn't have to make 'sense' it still hurts. x.x
WHAT DO THEY WANT?!
Stuff they say doesn't have to make 'sense' it still hurts. x.x
A long way to go.
Posted 16 years agoI haven't written here as much as I should. Or used to. Just been busy with other things. Started other accounts here. Trying to keep myself in a zone of pretend happiness, but sometimes it just doesn't work. Like right now. I don't think I'll ever get un-depressed. I don't understand what this 'happiness' thing is supposed to be and I seriously don't get the whole ...relationship concept. And so I go through the motions, letting each day whip by pointlessly...I want out of this life, but everywhere I look is more of the same.
Sometimes the pills just don't work...
Posted 16 years agoBeen having a hectic time recently. I miss my mouse. A lot. She's very comforting and loving and I want to give her a huge squeeeeeze.
Got a new job. Another one, that is. I've been busy. That and doctor's appointments, and trips...I've only had little time, and the time I've had has been for writing.
Depressed, like usual, at night. Just wish I had...ok, I can wish for a lot of things, but it doesn't mean any of them will ever come true.
Oh well...time for some snooze before I end up a zombie for the day.
Miss you Siera.
Got a new job. Another one, that is. I've been busy. That and doctor's appointments, and trips...I've only had little time, and the time I've had has been for writing.
Depressed, like usual, at night. Just wish I had...ok, I can wish for a lot of things, but it doesn't mean any of them will ever come true.
Oh well...time for some snooze before I end up a zombie for the day.
Miss you Siera.
The books on Sparky's Self..
Posted 16 years agoBook of Shadows,
Necronomicon,
"Shade, skulls, and shadows: a guide to shadowcraft"
Dark Magic for Dummies,
"Hexes and Vexes"
Grimoire of the shade.
"Chess against Death! Win in 443 moves!"
Elemental: A guide to nature
I'd Tap that: A guide to mana and it's secrets.
Fireballs a go-go
The Witches secret stash.
Abraham's guide to Kwik-casting.
Magik and mystery (A part of their history)
A beginner's guide to making pot......ions
Cracker! :How shatter a warding spell.
Penny's Pentagram: A child's guide to demon summoning.
Spiders, and flies oh me, oh my!
When NOT to summon Beetleguise
Poltergeists: House training your spirit.
"Mommy, why is Timmy damned to hell?" A child's guide to
rituals.
Rape Stove: The stove that rapes.
Ghost Dad...............sucks.
Teleporting: Night crawler style.
Candles, Curses, and Cauldrons: How to cook a witches brew.
Rosy Rumps: A guide to the perfect spanking, by Mya Buttstings.
Straight Jackets and You
Pick that lock!
A guide to Spanking: Paddle in your paws
A bondage babe's best friend
Casting the quick Contrip
Necronomicon,
"Shade, skulls, and shadows: a guide to shadowcraft"
Dark Magic for Dummies,
"Hexes and Vexes"
Grimoire of the shade.
"Chess against Death! Win in 443 moves!"
Elemental: A guide to nature
I'd Tap that: A guide to mana and it's secrets.
Fireballs a go-go
The Witches secret stash.
Abraham's guide to Kwik-casting.
Magik and mystery (A part of their history)
A beginner's guide to making pot......ions
Cracker! :How shatter a warding spell.
Penny's Pentagram: A child's guide to demon summoning.
Spiders, and flies oh me, oh my!
When NOT to summon Beetleguise
Poltergeists: House training your spirit.
"Mommy, why is Timmy damned to hell?" A child's guide to
rituals.
Rape Stove: The stove that rapes.
Ghost Dad...............sucks.
Teleporting: Night crawler style.
Candles, Curses, and Cauldrons: How to cook a witches brew.
Rosy Rumps: A guide to the perfect spanking, by Mya Buttstings.
Straight Jackets and You
Pick that lock!
A guide to Spanking: Paddle in your paws
A bondage babe's best friend
Casting the quick Contrip
heres the new deal
Posted 16 years agoOk I'm currently on the sleep pills, so bare with me.
I miss siera. You have NO idea. you have NO idea what so ever how much that mouse has been on my mind. I mean, YESH. Does want.
Second. Gonna have to visit a doctor real soon i this keeps up. Ive got this horrible horrible pain n my lower back and it's just not going away and it's a dulll ache and then it's a sharp shooting pain and I can't even lay down without it causing me discomfort.UGH.
Stabberoni.
I miss siera. You have NO idea. you have NO idea what so ever how much that mouse has been on my mind. I mean, YESH. Does want.
Second. Gonna have to visit a doctor real soon i this keeps up. Ive got this horrible horrible pain n my lower back and it's just not going away and it's a dulll ache and then it's a sharp shooting pain and I can't even lay down without it causing me discomfort.UGH.
Stabberoni.
Home Sweet home.
Posted 16 years agoMe: I'm Home! UGH. I HATE SNOW!!
Mom: Well do you like me?
Me: ...whut?
Mom: Do you like me? Cause you've been gone for two whole days.
Me: You said I was killing you. I was giving you a break.
Mom: I'll TELL you when I need a break from you.
I fucking LOVE this place!!
I love the physical violence!
I love the screaming matches!
I love the threats!
I love the hurled insults, the cheap apologies, and the intolerance!
I love spending as much time here as possible, because there's nothing more important then family. Even if My previous family gave me away, I will NEVER be able to trust ANYBODY more then my family- says the woman who tried to strangle me a few weeks ago. Why in the fuck wouldn't I want to walk in, and after thirty seconds, feel like having a conversation like that?
I love how we never say I love you.
I love the blame game played on a nightly basis.
I love the pretend hugs and painted on affection.
But I'm gonna get out. I'm gonna get out and I'm gonna walk away and I'm gonna make myself enough money so that I can buy myself every part of my soul that I've lost, or scratched or broken. Fuck. You.
Mom: Well do you like me?
Me: ...whut?
Mom: Do you like me? Cause you've been gone for two whole days.
Me: You said I was killing you. I was giving you a break.
Mom: I'll TELL you when I need a break from you.
I fucking LOVE this place!!
I love the physical violence!
I love the screaming matches!
I love the threats!
I love the hurled insults, the cheap apologies, and the intolerance!
I love spending as much time here as possible, because there's nothing more important then family. Even if My previous family gave me away, I will NEVER be able to trust ANYBODY more then my family- says the woman who tried to strangle me a few weeks ago. Why in the fuck wouldn't I want to walk in, and after thirty seconds, feel like having a conversation like that?
I love how we never say I love you.
I love the blame game played on a nightly basis.
I love the pretend hugs and painted on affection.
But I'm gonna get out. I'm gonna get out and I'm gonna walk away and I'm gonna make myself enough money so that I can buy myself every part of my soul that I've lost, or scratched or broken. Fuck. You.
Rapture...
Posted 16 years agoI'm not at home now. At a friends house.
I've been over here all weekend, and it's been absolutely lovely.
I...don't know. Does this make me a bad person for not really wanting to go back home? x.x
Can't sleep a wink.
Backside is on --fire-- Not my rump itself, just the...lower lower back right before it...it sucks cause it really really hurts. x.x
I've been over here all weekend, and it's been absolutely lovely.
I...don't know. Does this make me a bad person for not really wanting to go back home? x.x
Can't sleep a wink.
Backside is on --fire-- Not my rump itself, just the...lower lower back right before it...it sucks cause it really really hurts. x.x
WHUT?! GET OFF!
Posted 16 years agoMaybe or maybe you do not know, I am afraid of spiders. Don't laugh. They are fucking Spiders eight legs, fangs, super jumping abilities, the ability to defy gravity, super strength...fuck ...
Anyway, this morning, I'm on my computer, writing usual junk like novels and stuff, and I feel this sensation on my arm. I'm like..."Whatever this is, It had better not cause me to panic." I growled. And I look down, and there's this teeny tiny little baby spider crawling along my arm. I'm like:
".....no." And flicked it off and away. I was way to depressed to be either sad, or scared of this. The answer was no. Go away don't come back. It landed in my bed and freaked out a bit. So then I flicked it again. I'm pretty sure it's dead this time, cause it didn't learn it's lesson last time. But maybe not.
I don't even know.
I also got my job back. Weeeeee XD
Anyway, this morning, I'm on my computer, writing usual junk like novels and stuff, and I feel this sensation on my arm. I'm like..."Whatever this is, It had better not cause me to panic." I growled. And I look down, and there's this teeny tiny little baby spider crawling along my arm. I'm like:
".....no." And flicked it off and away. I was way to depressed to be either sad, or scared of this. The answer was no. Go away don't come back. It landed in my bed and freaked out a bit. So then I flicked it again. I'm pretty sure it's dead this time, cause it didn't learn it's lesson last time. But maybe not.
I don't even know.
I also got my job back. Weeeeee XD
