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Out of Curiosity...
Posted 5 years agoThere's something I've been wondering about for a while now. I've seen artists on this site struggle with their art showing up on other sites and being used without their permission. Granted, most of those artists are more popular and prolific than I am--plus I'm a commissioner, not a proper artist. So it's always seemed pretentious to assume someone might do the same to me, though it's not completely unthinkable. I suppose I've reached the point where my curiosity has surpassed my humility, though, so I must ask: has anyone seen any of the art I've bought pop up anywhere else? I've got a small handful of profiles on F-list and Eka's, and I have re-hosted a couple of pieces elsewhere. But has anyone come across any other sites or profiles they believe might not be me?
Lost and Found
Posted 10 years agoLOST
About a year or so ago, I had a ton of my personal possessions stolen from me. It was in the middle of a move; I had packed up most of my belongings but left some behind with a dear friend. They had an unscrupulous handyman who broke into the trunk of my friend's car on the day she was going to mail the rest to me. I didn't have insurance, so it was gone for good. I haven't had the funds to replace any of it--my financial situation right now won't allow for such frivolities. It was mostly my gaming consoles; I had brought my laptop and other important belongings with me.
I was doing fine until about a month or two ago. My computer was dying a slow, undignified death. I had seen it coming for quite a while. It was a laptop with a nearly-flat bottom and a downward-facing fan; what the stooge who designed it that way was thinking, I'll never know. Despite my best efforts to aid ventilation, it would get incredibly hot on the bottom. Pieces of the chassis started to break off, and one of the corner hinges ate it, too. I set up a second fan to help cool down the computer (and myself), but that just seemed to push dust and hair into the fan. Slowly but surely, my computer's performance took a nose dive until the entire hard drive became fried. I took it to a professional service to see what they could recover, but all the data they pulled off of the drive was completely corrupted. For the second time, I had lost everything.
FOUND
Somehow, losing all of that helped me, in a way. They took away my distractions, helped me focus and center myself. I've become a lot less addicted to material goods and a lot wiser about protecting what I still hold dear. But most of all, it left me feeling like a survivor.
Of course, it wasn't all positive. I've been in depression for quite some time. One night, I found myself in a peculiar mood: I wasn't suicidal, but I felt like giving up. I wasn't going to take my own life, but if death had decided to come I would have let it wash over me. Lying on my back with half-lidded eyes, I slowly began to let things go, releasing them to the cosmos. I surrendered both positive and negative things alike--my pride, my ambitions, my identity, my neuroses and defense mechanisms. I bade them each adieu as if they were fond but distant friends. But then I realized that I couldn't do the same with my relationships--to my mother, father, sister, or boyfriend. I just couldn't do that to them. As hermited and sociophobic as I am, I still live for others. As I realized this, I began to feel something that I thought I had lost forever: my sense of charity. Years ago I had a love for helping others, but after giving too much of myself and others taking advantage of me, I had burned out. I felt it pouring back into me, along with everything I had given up, and I felt positively giddy.
As my laptop died, a wind of fortune blew my way. My grandmother had died a couple months ago, leaving her farm and house to my grandfather. He is old and rather stubborn, but after injuring himself with nobody around for miles, he soon began to see the folly of staying out there all alone. So, he started to prepare to move into a retirement home, an apartment in the city. To do that, he began to downsize, offering their belongings to their kids. I found out about this two days after my hard drive fried, and my father managed to snag their old laptop. It's a Dell Vostro 230, Intel Core 2 Duo CPU E7500 @ 2.93GHz, 3GB RAM, running Windows 7 Home Premium. It has hardly ever been used; my aunts and uncles helped them write a couple Christmas letters on it, and they probably checked their e-mail a couple times. However, since they've always had it running on dial-up, I haven't had a real opportunity to test it and see what it can really do.
TL;DR: Lost a lot of stuff, and my laptop fried. Gained peace of mind and a chunk of my old identity. Got a new desktop computer. If anyone has copies of any art I've commissioned from them, I'd appreciate getting it back. ^_^;;
About a year or so ago, I had a ton of my personal possessions stolen from me. It was in the middle of a move; I had packed up most of my belongings but left some behind with a dear friend. They had an unscrupulous handyman who broke into the trunk of my friend's car on the day she was going to mail the rest to me. I didn't have insurance, so it was gone for good. I haven't had the funds to replace any of it--my financial situation right now won't allow for such frivolities. It was mostly my gaming consoles; I had brought my laptop and other important belongings with me.
I was doing fine until about a month or two ago. My computer was dying a slow, undignified death. I had seen it coming for quite a while. It was a laptop with a nearly-flat bottom and a downward-facing fan; what the stooge who designed it that way was thinking, I'll never know. Despite my best efforts to aid ventilation, it would get incredibly hot on the bottom. Pieces of the chassis started to break off, and one of the corner hinges ate it, too. I set up a second fan to help cool down the computer (and myself), but that just seemed to push dust and hair into the fan. Slowly but surely, my computer's performance took a nose dive until the entire hard drive became fried. I took it to a professional service to see what they could recover, but all the data they pulled off of the drive was completely corrupted. For the second time, I had lost everything.
FOUND
Somehow, losing all of that helped me, in a way. They took away my distractions, helped me focus and center myself. I've become a lot less addicted to material goods and a lot wiser about protecting what I still hold dear. But most of all, it left me feeling like a survivor.
Of course, it wasn't all positive. I've been in depression for quite some time. One night, I found myself in a peculiar mood: I wasn't suicidal, but I felt like giving up. I wasn't going to take my own life, but if death had decided to come I would have let it wash over me. Lying on my back with half-lidded eyes, I slowly began to let things go, releasing them to the cosmos. I surrendered both positive and negative things alike--my pride, my ambitions, my identity, my neuroses and defense mechanisms. I bade them each adieu as if they were fond but distant friends. But then I realized that I couldn't do the same with my relationships--to my mother, father, sister, or boyfriend. I just couldn't do that to them. As hermited and sociophobic as I am, I still live for others. As I realized this, I began to feel something that I thought I had lost forever: my sense of charity. Years ago I had a love for helping others, but after giving too much of myself and others taking advantage of me, I had burned out. I felt it pouring back into me, along with everything I had given up, and I felt positively giddy.
As my laptop died, a wind of fortune blew my way. My grandmother had died a couple months ago, leaving her farm and house to my grandfather. He is old and rather stubborn, but after injuring himself with nobody around for miles, he soon began to see the folly of staying out there all alone. So, he started to prepare to move into a retirement home, an apartment in the city. To do that, he began to downsize, offering their belongings to their kids. I found out about this two days after my hard drive fried, and my father managed to snag their old laptop. It's a Dell Vostro 230, Intel Core 2 Duo CPU E7500 @ 2.93GHz, 3GB RAM, running Windows 7 Home Premium. It has hardly ever been used; my aunts and uncles helped them write a couple Christmas letters on it, and they probably checked their e-mail a couple times. However, since they've always had it running on dial-up, I haven't had a real opportunity to test it and see what it can really do.
TL;DR: Lost a lot of stuff, and my laptop fried. Gained peace of mind and a chunk of my old identity. Got a new desktop computer. If anyone has copies of any art I've commissioned from them, I'd appreciate getting it back. ^_^;;
Devastation/Reconciliation
Posted 11 years agoWARNING: Four paragraphs of depression-venting, followed by two paragraphs of references to faith.
Summary: I'm poor, life sucks, I haven't given up hope, and my birthday's next week.
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It's been over a year and a half now. I still haven't found a real, stable, wage-paying job. I tried real estate for a while, but it turned into a money sink and I wasn't very good at it. I tried temp agencies, but they never had any jobs for me. I tried networking, but I just don't know that many people and I'm naturally introverted--another reason why real estate probably wasn't such a hot idea. But right no, I just need something, anything.
This has taken a heavy toll on my mind. When companies take the time to formally reject me, that's one thing... but waiting, not knowing, sending resumes out into the void, that's soul-crushing. Not even McDonald's would hire me. I spent most of last year living off of welfare checks and doing everything I could not to end up on the street; believe me, there were some very close calls. I got arrested once due to a stupid little fight, and that left a bloody red mark on my record; it stung because I had always prided myself on being a "good boy" and doing the right thing. I eventually had to leave my apartment and move back in with my father. That was exceptionally humiliating, as that and the unemployment checks mean that I'm a burden on my family and on society as a whole. This is one of my worst fears, and it's haunting me every day of my life.
My entire way of life has been disrupted. I loved buying gifts for people, but with no money of my own I certainly can't afford it. Not being able to commission artists is painful as well, and I have poor luck with free-art giveaways. I don't exactly clip coupons or pinch pennies, but I don't buy much of anything for myself anymore--just food, bills, and paying down debt when I can. I haven't bought new clothes, except for socks, in well over a year.
Things are looking very grim... and to make it worse, next Sunday is my birthday. I'll be 29. It feels like I'm rushing toward a deadline that I cannot meet. I've never had a very big birthday party, and I don't get very many gifts nowadays. Most of the time it's just practical stuff. This year... I'd like art, but I'm not all that popular and I haven't gotten anything from anyone before. But most of all, I just want the suffering to be over. I want to get a job, because I do have an excellent work ethic when I HAVE work. I want to get out of debt, to pay people back for their charity, to use my money to help others as much as I can. I want to be independent, to get my life back on track. I want to have reason to be optimistic again, to reignite my love for helping others. I want that part of me back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But I suppose I'm here for a reason. For a long time, I was treading water, just barely keeping my head afloat. But from here I'm able to see what it's like, what people go through. I can look back at who I was, who I had become, and what my values were. I've come to realize that I was heartless and insensitive. I used to take a "devil's advocate" stance on a number of issues, but for some reason those stances stuck and I started to believe in them. Now I can see those ideas for what they are. Regrettably, my spiritual life has become stagnant, but politically I've gravitated toward the center.
I'm certainly not very happy nowadays, but I think I've become a bit stronger. My life has taken a long, stressful detour through hell... and I'm not dead yet. My worst fears are becoming a harsh, bitter reality... and they haven't destroyed me yet. Most of life's comforts have been stripped from me, my resources are low, and most of my defense mechanisms have been rendered useless. But I can still laugh, smile, create, and believe. As life breaks me down and tears things off of me, I'm being reduced to a purer form of self, a distilled, super-saturated "me". Even now, I'm being tested in the fires that purify and produce gold. A part of me is even beginning to wonder if I'm capable of transcending this silly little thing called life.
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Again, I'd really love some art for my birthday... but aside from that, please just send me your prayers. Or, if you're not the praying-sort, just well-wishes and encouragement should do.
Summary: I'm poor, life sucks, I haven't given up hope, and my birthday's next week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's been over a year and a half now. I still haven't found a real, stable, wage-paying job. I tried real estate for a while, but it turned into a money sink and I wasn't very good at it. I tried temp agencies, but they never had any jobs for me. I tried networking, but I just don't know that many people and I'm naturally introverted--another reason why real estate probably wasn't such a hot idea. But right no, I just need something, anything.
This has taken a heavy toll on my mind. When companies take the time to formally reject me, that's one thing... but waiting, not knowing, sending resumes out into the void, that's soul-crushing. Not even McDonald's would hire me. I spent most of last year living off of welfare checks and doing everything I could not to end up on the street; believe me, there were some very close calls. I got arrested once due to a stupid little fight, and that left a bloody red mark on my record; it stung because I had always prided myself on being a "good boy" and doing the right thing. I eventually had to leave my apartment and move back in with my father. That was exceptionally humiliating, as that and the unemployment checks mean that I'm a burden on my family and on society as a whole. This is one of my worst fears, and it's haunting me every day of my life.
My entire way of life has been disrupted. I loved buying gifts for people, but with no money of my own I certainly can't afford it. Not being able to commission artists is painful as well, and I have poor luck with free-art giveaways. I don't exactly clip coupons or pinch pennies, but I don't buy much of anything for myself anymore--just food, bills, and paying down debt when I can. I haven't bought new clothes, except for socks, in well over a year.
Things are looking very grim... and to make it worse, next Sunday is my birthday. I'll be 29. It feels like I'm rushing toward a deadline that I cannot meet. I've never had a very big birthday party, and I don't get very many gifts nowadays. Most of the time it's just practical stuff. This year... I'd like art, but I'm not all that popular and I haven't gotten anything from anyone before. But most of all, I just want the suffering to be over. I want to get a job, because I do have an excellent work ethic when I HAVE work. I want to get out of debt, to pay people back for their charity, to use my money to help others as much as I can. I want to be independent, to get my life back on track. I want to have reason to be optimistic again, to reignite my love for helping others. I want that part of me back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But I suppose I'm here for a reason. For a long time, I was treading water, just barely keeping my head afloat. But from here I'm able to see what it's like, what people go through. I can look back at who I was, who I had become, and what my values were. I've come to realize that I was heartless and insensitive. I used to take a "devil's advocate" stance on a number of issues, but for some reason those stances stuck and I started to believe in them. Now I can see those ideas for what they are. Regrettably, my spiritual life has become stagnant, but politically I've gravitated toward the center.
I'm certainly not very happy nowadays, but I think I've become a bit stronger. My life has taken a long, stressful detour through hell... and I'm not dead yet. My worst fears are becoming a harsh, bitter reality... and they haven't destroyed me yet. Most of life's comforts have been stripped from me, my resources are low, and most of my defense mechanisms have been rendered useless. But I can still laugh, smile, create, and believe. As life breaks me down and tears things off of me, I'm being reduced to a purer form of self, a distilled, super-saturated "me". Even now, I'm being tested in the fires that purify and produce gold. A part of me is even beginning to wonder if I'm capable of transcending this silly little thing called life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Again, I'd really love some art for my birthday... but aside from that, please just send me your prayers. Or, if you're not the praying-sort, just well-wishes and encouragement should do.
Let me help you.
Posted 12 years agoI'm proud to announce that I am now a realtor and associate of Keller Williams Realty. I've discovered in them a company whose values I respect and whose culture I cherish. I simply couldn't see myself working with anyone else. KW supports my business and brand, as opposed to me working directly for them. With their expertise, support, and an environment devoted to the agent, it lets me focus on my clients and their needs. I'm very eager to begin a career that helps people with one of the basic necessities of humanity.
I'm currently operating in Texas, but I can help anyone in the United States or Canada find an agent and support network. If you yourself or anyone you know might need assistance with buying, selling, or renting a home, please send me a note and I'll do my best to assist you.
I'm currently operating in Texas, but I can help anyone in the United States or Canada find an agent and support network. If you yourself or anyone you know might need assistance with buying, selling, or renting a home, please send me a note and I'll do my best to assist you.
Vulpecs
Posted 12 years agoI'm still alive, still mostly RPing and trying to dig myself out of this financial pit. Still no commissions, still no job or any discernible income... so nothing really update-worthy.
However, I have gotten rather curious lately. Whenever someone favorites or watches me, I take a look at their own pages to see what kind of stuff they're into, whether they're an artist or commissioner or watcher--in a sense, who they are in regard to the community. However, I've noticed that a lot of people who liked my commission of Vulpecs ( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8341561/ ) have something in common: a lot of them are into women. It was rather surprising to see so many straight or otherwise female-oriented people take such an interest in my rather huge, muscular male. I was wondering, did it look particularly feminine, or did people just not realize it had a gender assigned to it? Let me know, this is a very interesting mystery.
However, I have gotten rather curious lately. Whenever someone favorites or watches me, I take a look at their own pages to see what kind of stuff they're into, whether they're an artist or commissioner or watcher--in a sense, who they are in regard to the community. However, I've noticed that a lot of people who liked my commission of Vulpecs ( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8341561/ ) have something in common: a lot of them are into women. It was rather surprising to see so many straight or otherwise female-oriented people take such an interest in my rather huge, muscular male. I was wondering, did it look particularly feminine, or did people just not realize it had a gender assigned to it? Let me know, this is a very interesting mystery.
Hanging in there
Posted 12 years agoI got a good pep talk from a friend of mine, so now things aren't as hopeless as before. My economic situation actually got a little worse since then but shortly after it got a little better. I'm still far from solvent and have no income, though.
In the meantime is my birthday, coming up on the 23rd. I never really got a good party as a kid, mostly because my mother is a sociophobe and couldn't handle it. There were a few memorable birthdays, like the time I (as a 13-year-old who could pass himself off as a 7-year-old) went into the little kids' play-gym and evaded authorities. Over time, though, it's just grown to mean less and less to me. Because of my financial situation, I've already given up on getting or doing anything at all, let alone for myself. Art would've been nice, but I can't afford it. Money would help, but if I could get some I wouldn't be in this situation. All I really wish is that I could've done something for my step-brother, whose birthday is one day after mine. He's 16 and in his prime, despite where he's come from and gone through.
In the meantime is my birthday, coming up on the 23rd. I never really got a good party as a kid, mostly because my mother is a sociophobe and couldn't handle it. There were a few memorable birthdays, like the time I (as a 13-year-old who could pass himself off as a 7-year-old) went into the little kids' play-gym and evaded authorities. Over time, though, it's just grown to mean less and less to me. Because of my financial situation, I've already given up on getting or doing anything at all, let alone for myself. Art would've been nice, but I can't afford it. Money would help, but if I could get some I wouldn't be in this situation. All I really wish is that I could've done something for my step-brother, whose birthday is one day after mine. He's 16 and in his prime, despite where he's come from and gone through.
My shame
Posted 12 years agoI don't fully understand why I feel more comfortable sharing this here with mostly strangers rather than posting it on Facebook to my friends and family. I suppose part of it is that I feel ashamed and I don't want to burden them, but that begs the question of why I would feel comfortable sharing the same information to strangers. It could be a more personal shame--the shame of not being able to survive in an adult world, of not being able to provide for myself or others. Either way, I've had enough of keeping this bottled up inside.
I'm in financial trouble. I had a feeling things wouldn't be roses and sunshine when I got out of the Army. So, I put aside money to live off of while I searched for a job and to buy some furniture, since I owned none. About six months have passed, and that money has just about dried up. Last month was a scramble to get funds into an account so I could pay my rent. This month's looking worse; I might not be able to make the electricity bill or the car payments by mid-month ($300 total). If my tax refund gets here within a week or if I can get my roommate's dues from her next paycheck before either company collects, I'll be safe for another couple of weeks. Either way, I still don't know how I'm going to make ends meet by the end of the month ($1100 total without roommate's share).
I did plenty of job searching, but everywhere I've gone I was either over- or under-qualified. Most of the companies didn't even call back or let me know they got my resume. It seemed that the only people who showed any signs of wanting me were for commission-based jobs. So now I have a half-finished real estate license that I can't finish without another $60. If I get it finished, I'll be in training for another four weeks and I won't get any income at all until my first sale.
I've looked into food stamps and food banks, but while that will feed me it won't pay the bills. I'm not eligible for unemployment or emergency assistance, mostly because I'm an "employed" single white male with no kids. I've looked into getting a second job and have sent out several applications, lowering my standards every time. Having to settle for less and not even getting that, not being able to make ends meet, being thrust into a world of poverty I've never seen and don't know how to survive, and having impending dues and no means to pay them... these have rendered me incredibly depressed, and they've paralyzed me. I've become a hermit--not that I have many friends in this town.
I'm not asking for much. While money's the big thing I need right now, I wouldn't ask anyone for that. While commissions are open as they were before, I'm not pushing for those--nobody seems to want one from me anyway. I don't need pity per se, but a hug would be really good right about now. Prayers can always help, if you're so inclined. i guess what I need the most is to know that it'll get better.
I'm in financial trouble. I had a feeling things wouldn't be roses and sunshine when I got out of the Army. So, I put aside money to live off of while I searched for a job and to buy some furniture, since I owned none. About six months have passed, and that money has just about dried up. Last month was a scramble to get funds into an account so I could pay my rent. This month's looking worse; I might not be able to make the electricity bill or the car payments by mid-month ($300 total). If my tax refund gets here within a week or if I can get my roommate's dues from her next paycheck before either company collects, I'll be safe for another couple of weeks. Either way, I still don't know how I'm going to make ends meet by the end of the month ($1100 total without roommate's share).
I did plenty of job searching, but everywhere I've gone I was either over- or under-qualified. Most of the companies didn't even call back or let me know they got my resume. It seemed that the only people who showed any signs of wanting me were for commission-based jobs. So now I have a half-finished real estate license that I can't finish without another $60. If I get it finished, I'll be in training for another four weeks and I won't get any income at all until my first sale.
I've looked into food stamps and food banks, but while that will feed me it won't pay the bills. I'm not eligible for unemployment or emergency assistance, mostly because I'm an "employed" single white male with no kids. I've looked into getting a second job and have sent out several applications, lowering my standards every time. Having to settle for less and not even getting that, not being able to make ends meet, being thrust into a world of poverty I've never seen and don't know how to survive, and having impending dues and no means to pay them... these have rendered me incredibly depressed, and they've paralyzed me. I've become a hermit--not that I have many friends in this town.
I'm not asking for much. While money's the big thing I need right now, I wouldn't ask anyone for that. While commissions are open as they were before, I'm not pushing for those--nobody seems to want one from me anyway. I don't need pity per se, but a hug would be really good right about now. Prayers can always help, if you're so inclined. i guess what I need the most is to know that it'll get better.
Solomon
Posted 12 years agoI'll be starting on the next chapter of The BioCorp Experiments soon via GoogleDrive, so you all will be able to watch, comment, and chat with me as I type it up. I haven't decided on when I'll be doing it, but I may do it in segments and I may start without further warning. So, if you're online in the next couple of days, keep an eye out for my next journal.
Also, commissions are still open--anyone want a personalized story?
Also, commissions are still open--anyone want a personalized story?
Christ-mass
Posted 12 years agoUnto all I wish a merry mass of the incarnate Christ.
In other news, commissions are still open... anyone? >.> <.<
In other news, commissions are still open... anyone? >.> <.<
This week's news
Posted 12 years agoAll right, I've got a lot of news. First off, if you're looking for free artstuffs, 
sukiyo's having a raffle for this coming Christmas. There's only about a week left and three slots, so sign up now! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4080676/
Second, at this very moment,
golddream is doing a Drivestream over here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....AFI8agKv4/edit . Hop on over and watch the action as it unfurls!
Third, I'm still open for commissions, but nobody's taken any yet. Check out my previous two journals for the specifics. I'd really love your input and orders!
Finally, I'm still working on the next few stories, but I'm also making great progress in finding a real-life job. I've already been accepted by a real estate agency, so as soon as I get licensed I'll be able to start that and start getting paid. My first couple of months are going to be the tough ones, as I don't get paid until I get licensed and make a few sales. But, if any of you need houses, lemme know. :3
sukiyo's having a raffle for this coming Christmas. There's only about a week left and three slots, so sign up now! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4080676/Second, at this very moment,
golddream is doing a Drivestream over here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....AFI8agKv4/edit . Hop on over and watch the action as it unfurls!Third, I'm still open for commissions, but nobody's taken any yet. Check out my previous two journals for the specifics. I'd really love your input and orders!
Finally, I'm still working on the next few stories, but I'm also making great progress in finding a real-life job. I've already been accepted by a real estate agency, so as soon as I get licensed I'll be able to start that and start getting paid. My first couple of months are going to be the tough ones, as I don't get paid until I get licensed and make a few sales. But, if any of you need houses, lemme know. :3
Commissions open!
Posted 13 years agoIf you missed it in my last journal, I want to try to start commissions. I'm not certain on the price yet--feel free to recommend a good value--but I'd probably charge a certain amount per page. I'll only ask for the money after I finish the story but before I make the exchange. After I get the money, I may allow for a few edits, free of charge. Since that could equal a longer story, that'll encourage me to get it right the first time.
Commission slots:
1)
Waiting in the wings:
???
???
???
UPDATE:
Oi, I've finished one of my stories! Check it out and spread the love.
Commission slots:
1)
Waiting in the wings:
???
???
???
UPDATE:
Oi, I've finished one of my stories! Check it out and spread the love.
You've got to be kidding me...
Posted 13 years agoFirst order of business, I really need to start giving credit where credit's due. There's an insanely good artist that's not getting nearly as much recognition as he damn well deserves. Everyone, go check out golddream, an insanely good author who's doing quality commissions for dirt cheap.
Now, for more personal matters. If anyone's seen my new character, Humbaba, and read through the experiment I was going to perform with him, you'll know the following bit. I was trying to see what difference a picture in my Eka's profiles would make. I tried to keep most things the same--the formatting, body size, and most of the text is exactly the same as my other character, Brennus. Granted, the species is different, and I made a few changes that I was going to make anyway, plus I'm planning on playing my musclesheep as exclusively pred as opposed to the more-than-sometimes prey lion. Sadly... many Eka's chatgoers seem to be motivated by pretty pictures, much like an army officer in a hurry. It's not the fact that my long list of kinks turns most people away, nor the fact that I'm cripplingly shy. My experiment has revealed that... pictures... are the only reason people have been avoiding me. I've ruled out just about everything else, and somehow I've gotten more RP requests in this past week than I would have gotten in two months on Brennus. People disappoint me sometimes...
I suppose, though, that things are how they are, and I need to adapt or I'll fail to thrive. So, I've got to get pictures for all my characters now. I'm hoping for a 2-D reference pic of each of my Eka's characters, including more renderings of Humbaba. Plus, there are a few artists upon whom I've had my eye, and I really want to get certain extra-kinky pics done. All of this adds up to an extraordinary amount of money, which I just don't have in great quantity right now. I'm unemployed and trying to get a job, but I haven't even heard back from anyone yet, so I don't even know if they got my resume or application. I guess I'll have to do a bit of cold calling on that front, which is hard because I'm not a social butterfly and I hate to impose. Soooo... I'm going to have to do something about my bank account. I think it would be fitting to open commissions, though I may need to take just one at first to see if it's viable. I'm thinking $5 per page, and you can specify a page limit, the scenario, characters, details, kinks, and all that jazz. I'll take the money only after I've completed the work but before I've posted or delivered it. Would anyone like to be the first to give it a try?
golddream, an insanely good author who's doing quality commissions for dirt cheap.Now, for more personal matters. If anyone's seen my new character, Humbaba, and read through the experiment I was going to perform with him, you'll know the following bit. I was trying to see what difference a picture in my Eka's profiles would make. I tried to keep most things the same--the formatting, body size, and most of the text is exactly the same as my other character, Brennus. Granted, the species is different, and I made a few changes that I was going to make anyway, plus I'm planning on playing my musclesheep as exclusively pred as opposed to the more-than-sometimes prey lion. Sadly... many Eka's chatgoers seem to be motivated by pretty pictures, much like an army officer in a hurry. It's not the fact that my long list of kinks turns most people away, nor the fact that I'm cripplingly shy. My experiment has revealed that... pictures... are the only reason people have been avoiding me. I've ruled out just about everything else, and somehow I've gotten more RP requests in this past week than I would have gotten in two months on Brennus. People disappoint me sometimes...
I suppose, though, that things are how they are, and I need to adapt or I'll fail to thrive. So, I've got to get pictures for all my characters now. I'm hoping for a 2-D reference pic of each of my Eka's characters, including more renderings of Humbaba. Plus, there are a few artists upon whom I've had my eye, and I really want to get certain extra-kinky pics done. All of this adds up to an extraordinary amount of money, which I just don't have in great quantity right now. I'm unemployed and trying to get a job, but I haven't even heard back from anyone yet, so I don't even know if they got my resume or application. I guess I'll have to do a bit of cold calling on that front, which is hard because I'm not a social butterfly and I hate to impose. Soooo... I'm going to have to do something about my bank account. I think it would be fitting to open commissions, though I may need to take just one at first to see if it's viable. I'm thinking $5 per page, and you can specify a page limit, the scenario, characters, details, kinks, and all that jazz. I'll take the money only after I've completed the work but before I've posted or delivered it. Would anyone like to be the first to give it a try?
Seeking improvement
Posted 13 years agoI really need to get better at something before I post my next work. Does anyone know of any vore stories with exceptional prey-dialogue? I'm looking for all kinds, from unwilling and fearful to hyper-willing and dominant. M/M highly preferred, though. ^_^;;
One hundred divided by three, rounded up
Posted 13 years agoNow, there are a ton of example of Rule 34 out there, especially of beloved childhood memories and other instances of "innocent" furry cartoons in the media. But as I ponder about the original content of these memories, I begin to realize that rule 34 occasionally becomes necessitated. Here are some examples:
-Miles "Tails" Prower: The young Tails, Sonic's constant companion, is a fox. Foxes are a hedgehog's natural predator, due in part to the fox's cunning ability to safely unball the spiky little things. So, even if the little kit has imprinted upon the teenage speed-demon, his instincts and diet should give him a slight push toward voring his hero. In addition, foxes are BIG. Even at half the hedgehog's age, Tails is usually seen at about the same size as Sonic (in fact, I used to own plush dolls of the two, and Tails WAS already bigger!). Now, fast forward about 10-15 years, when everyone's of age. Compared to Sonic, Tails ought to be 2-3 times his height and several times his weight (preferably with incredible muscles and genitals, of course).
-Tom Nook: In Animal Crossing, this entrepreneurial raccoon is constantly conning the player into owing him more and more. I say "raccoon", but every indication is present that he's actually a tanuki, an entirely different species native to Japan. The signs are all over: the leaf motif practically everywhere, leaves that are magically able to change into different/much larger objects, his affinity toward money and luck, and of course, the half-apron. He starts out wearing just a blue little apron that only covers his lower body; he later goes on to wear shirts and hats. At no point, however, does he wear anything that binds or covers his genitals on all sides. There's one more thing tanukis are famous for: giant testicles. Even in real life, they have huge huevos--but of course, in Japan, that's not considered the least bit obscene or sexual. In my country, of course... yeah. He ought to see the sea from his testicular perch with a cock that can reach it. >:3
-Pantsless animals: Speaking of interesting garments, there are examples stretching back to the early days of cartoons that depict anthro bunnies, ducks, coyotes, etc. with, at best, a shirt and a pair of gloves on. Now, since they're mostly PG, they don't show anything except a smooth, censor-approved slick running between their legs. Of course, this means the organs SHOULD exist and be exposed... however, it points me to a certain fact: these people CHOSE said garments. Apparently there's a sect of furries out there whose fashion tastes dictate that they wear gloves, shirts (SOMETIMES), scarves, hats, socks, and any number of accessories but NEVER pants or underpants. In fact, they may not feel fully-dressed if they leave the house without something covering their less-extreme extremities but require easy access to all major erogenous zones. In any case, this needs to become a thing.
-Miles "Tails" Prower: The young Tails, Sonic's constant companion, is a fox. Foxes are a hedgehog's natural predator, due in part to the fox's cunning ability to safely unball the spiky little things. So, even if the little kit has imprinted upon the teenage speed-demon, his instincts and diet should give him a slight push toward voring his hero. In addition, foxes are BIG. Even at half the hedgehog's age, Tails is usually seen at about the same size as Sonic (in fact, I used to own plush dolls of the two, and Tails WAS already bigger!). Now, fast forward about 10-15 years, when everyone's of age. Compared to Sonic, Tails ought to be 2-3 times his height and several times his weight (preferably with incredible muscles and genitals, of course).
-Tom Nook: In Animal Crossing, this entrepreneurial raccoon is constantly conning the player into owing him more and more. I say "raccoon", but every indication is present that he's actually a tanuki, an entirely different species native to Japan. The signs are all over: the leaf motif practically everywhere, leaves that are magically able to change into different/much larger objects, his affinity toward money and luck, and of course, the half-apron. He starts out wearing just a blue little apron that only covers his lower body; he later goes on to wear shirts and hats. At no point, however, does he wear anything that binds or covers his genitals on all sides. There's one more thing tanukis are famous for: giant testicles. Even in real life, they have huge huevos--but of course, in Japan, that's not considered the least bit obscene or sexual. In my country, of course... yeah. He ought to see the sea from his testicular perch with a cock that can reach it. >:3
-Pantsless animals: Speaking of interesting garments, there are examples stretching back to the early days of cartoons that depict anthro bunnies, ducks, coyotes, etc. with, at best, a shirt and a pair of gloves on. Now, since they're mostly PG, they don't show anything except a smooth, censor-approved slick running between their legs. Of course, this means the organs SHOULD exist and be exposed... however, it points me to a certain fact: these people CHOSE said garments. Apparently there's a sect of furries out there whose fashion tastes dictate that they wear gloves, shirts (SOMETIMES), scarves, hats, socks, and any number of accessories but NEVER pants or underpants. In fact, they may not feel fully-dressed if they leave the house without something covering their less-extreme extremities but require easy access to all major erogenous zones. In any case, this needs to become a thing.
Someone
Posted 13 years agoI get depressed sometimes, especially when I think about my exes. I think of all the mistakes I made, all the ways they hurt me, and the way they or I left. There was my first genuine crush, that huge, mysterious man who left all too soon. Then came the one who tried to dom but was a sub at heart, and we were never that compatible in the first place; it still hurt, though, because I felt guilty about leaving. Along came the one who had a heart full of glass and a paranoid mind; he hurt me over and over again but I was afraid of being the bad guy, and in the end I couldn't rescue him. Next came the one that was on the exact same wavelength and we were perfect for each other... until I deployed and he went to school, when after a year of pining and passing "hello"s he told me he never liked what I liked and our love had faded. There's another that's on here somewhere and I'd rather not talk about... and now every time I try to make it with someone, I mess it up or get too afraid to start. For years now I've been with people but felt utterly alone the whole time. Sometimes, I just wish I had someone to hold me tight and tell me that it'll all be okay...
...and it wouldn't hurt if he's a massive, mega-macro muscle-orc. >:3
...and it wouldn't hurt if he's a massive, mega-macro muscle-orc. >:3
Politics
Posted 13 years agoDamnit, get your politics out of my porn!
As I was saying...
Posted 13 years agoWell, so much for that. My productivity got killed for another month. At least now, though, I've managed to get myself into a better situation. I now have an apartment with my own room and internet and working AC and by GOD it's clean! :3
Work to follow... hopefully. Keep prodding me ^_^;;
Work to follow... hopefully. Keep prodding me ^_^;;
Trampling
Posted 13 years agoHey, all. I'm about due for an update. No, I haven't forgotten about all those stories I promised to do. Things have been hectic over here, though. I recently was honorably discharged from the military--I did my time and got out the right way. Now I'm beginning my entry into civilian life. So, now I've got all the time in the world. There's just one problem... I'm rooming with a three-member family in an apartment built for one. I'm sleeping on the couch in the living room, but that's prime traffic area. I can get away with writing, but to truly... ahem, "enjoy" myself I have to be careful and do it at specific times. We're looking for a bigger apartment or even a cheap home, but until we get one I'm going to be a bit cramped. Since we're in such close quarters, I seem to get woken up by something or other every night. This is unpleasant. Anyway, I'll try to get more stories pumped out, but I'll need your help. I know myself well enough: if given endless amounts of free time and am not accountable to anyone, I may take forever to get things done. So, please, feel free to bug me frequently to get more work done for y'all.
Nevermind
Posted 13 years agoWell, this is problematic... I should have seen it coming, though. The choose-your-own-adventure scene was a bust; about 10 people showed up throughout the course of the story, coming in and promptly out like a revolving door. There was only one active person--one who actually voted on things and decided how the story went; however, he was uncomfortable in that position and so was I. It took forever. I guess I just don't have a strong enough fanbase. Then again, this was kinda last-minute, so I'm still going to try tomorrow at around noon CST.
One thing I will say: even if I had a decent group of people there, it still doesn't feel nearly as satisfying as a true roleplay. Of course, those have gotten a lot harder for me as of late. I don't have a lot of friends or RP partners, and as of late the entire list has been almost completely unavailable. Plus, the internet cafe I'm in blocks one of my favorite RP sites. Of course, the whole reason I've been going to internet cafes is because my internet connection's been broken for almost two months now. That's a long time without any roleplays. Stories are nice because I can control everything, and pictures can be quite sexy... but they both lack that interaction, that connection. That's what I long for most right now; my heart and libido both ache for some sort of give-and-take.
It's not just roleplaying that I've been thinking about. I've never had a real, adult romance before. I'm in my late 20s now and will be finally settled down in about three weeks or so. It just feels like time. Of course, having not even been in the loop in the first place and being socially awkward makes things like meeting new people and flirting rather difficult. I'm beginning to feel lethargic and jaded from all my failed attempts.
One thing I will say: even if I had a decent group of people there, it still doesn't feel nearly as satisfying as a true roleplay. Of course, those have gotten a lot harder for me as of late. I don't have a lot of friends or RP partners, and as of late the entire list has been almost completely unavailable. Plus, the internet cafe I'm in blocks one of my favorite RP sites. Of course, the whole reason I've been going to internet cafes is because my internet connection's been broken for almost two months now. That's a long time without any roleplays. Stories are nice because I can control everything, and pictures can be quite sexy... but they both lack that interaction, that connection. That's what I long for most right now; my heart and libido both ache for some sort of give-and-take.
It's not just roleplaying that I've been thinking about. I've never had a real, adult romance before. I'm in my late 20s now and will be finally settled down in about three weeks or so. It just feels like time. Of course, having not even been in the loop in the first place and being socially awkward makes things like meeting new people and flirting rather difficult. I'm beginning to feel lethargic and jaded from all my failed attempts.
Testing
Posted 13 years agoWell, I'm still trying to work on the create-your-own-adventure scene that I want to do, but the planning is going slowly. There are a lot of reasons why, but most of them boil down to me being lazy and lacking discipline. So, I've decided to do a CYOA story that I'm going to make up on the spot--no planning, no waiting, just an interactive story that unfolds in real time. I could use the pressure, and it'd probably be good for me, anyway. I think I'll do two: one in an hour once I've gotten some food in me, and another tomorrow at about noon (may be delayed depending on when I wake up, when the internet cafe opens, and the timing of a commission I've arranged).
Here's the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....CiQmVp5Ls/edit
Status: now open
Here's the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....CiQmVp5Ls/edit
Status: now open
Interactive, cont'd.
Posted 13 years agoAll right. The interactive, "choose your own adventure"-style livestream is in the works and I definitely will be doing it. I just don't know when yet. There's a lot more planning that has to go into this than I originally thought, mostly because I want really good characters with whom the player can interact.
So far, this is what I have done:
Four characters established, complete with their own story arcs
Two characters in progress, their story arcs pending
A very good idea of how I want the story arcs and character interaction to function
I still have yet to consider, decide upon, and complete:
Two more characters postulated--not quite sure yet
Relationships and interactions between all characters
The overarching plot
The scenario/setting--whether it's fantasy, modern, or sci-fi
Additional considerations based upon the scenario/setting
Bleh, so it may be a little while, but I'm not giving up on this. In the meantime, does anyone have any input for this? Additionally, I'd like to get a decent crowd for this event, but I'm not a social butterfly and I'm clueless about advertising, so... ideas?
So far, this is what I have done:
Four characters established, complete with their own story arcs
Two characters in progress, their story arcs pending
A very good idea of how I want the story arcs and character interaction to function
I still have yet to consider, decide upon, and complete:
Two more characters postulated--not quite sure yet
Relationships and interactions between all characters
The overarching plot
The scenario/setting--whether it's fantasy, modern, or sci-fi
Additional considerations based upon the scenario/setting
Bleh, so it may be a little while, but I'm not giving up on this. In the meantime, does anyone have any input for this? Additionally, I'd like to get a decent crowd for this event, but I'm not a social butterfly and I'm clueless about advertising, so... ideas?
Interactive
Posted 13 years agoPart three of my first writing stream will happen one of these evenings this week. I'm a bit tired and distracted at the moment, and I would like to try something a little different. I'm glad people have enjoyed them so much, but something seems missing. I don't mind not being able to choose the music, and I"m a little glad I don't have to worry about doing a vocal commentary (I don't like how my voice sounds). But it seems too detached and impersonal. There I am, typing away, occasionally taking a break to chat or check out people's comments, but mostly I focus on what I'm writing.
So, here's my proposal: a choose-your-own adventure. I'll start writing, about a paragraph at a time, and then I'll turn to whatever audience I've collected and seek their input as to how the story progresses. I'll try to cater to the group's interests (but still none of my extreme dislikes such as scat, watersports, gore, fembreasts, soul vore, and shrinking). However, I do want to make an actual story out of this. So, think of it as one of those Japanese dating games: you have to woo before you fuck. I'm going to brainstorm a cast of characters for this as well as some basic events. When I'm ready, I'll announce at least a day ahead of time when I intend to begin. But, for now, what all would you like to see in it? What sort of kinks, what scenario, any other thoughts? I'd like everyone's input.
So, here's my proposal: a choose-your-own adventure. I'll start writing, about a paragraph at a time, and then I'll turn to whatever audience I've collected and seek their input as to how the story progresses. I'll try to cater to the group's interests (but still none of my extreme dislikes such as scat, watersports, gore, fembreasts, soul vore, and shrinking). However, I do want to make an actual story out of this. So, think of it as one of those Japanese dating games: you have to woo before you fuck. I'm going to brainstorm a cast of characters for this as well as some basic events. When I'm ready, I'll announce at least a day ahead of time when I intend to begin. But, for now, what all would you like to see in it? What sort of kinks, what scenario, any other thoughts? I'd like everyone's input.
My First Writing Stream, Part II (Paused)
Posted 13 years agoStory: Gourmand Genetics
Themes: feeding/fattening, weight gain, fatfurs, muscle growth, cock growth, forcefeeding, oral/anal/cock vore
Time: Either later tonight or tomorrow evening
Status: Part-way done; I've gotten to the juicy parts, though juicier parts still lie ahead
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....rz9iMVyqA/edit
Holy shyte, this is getting long! ^_^;;
Themes: feeding/fattening, weight gain, fatfurs, muscle growth, cock growth, forcefeeding, oral/anal/cock vore
Time: Either later tonight or tomorrow evening
Status: Part-way done; I've gotten to the juicy parts, though juicier parts still lie ahead
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....rz9iMVyqA/edit
Holy shyte, this is getting long! ^_^;;
My First Writing Stream (Paused)
Posted 13 years agoWell, I've decided to go ahead and stream a new document via Google Docs. I've begun already, but my time's up for the night. I'll continue in the morning when the internet cafe opens again. Thanks to everyone who's stopped by so far!
Story: Gourmand Genetics
Themes: feeding/fattening, weight gain, fatfurs, muscle growth, cock growth, forcefeeding, oral/anal/cock vore
Time: Around 11:30 AM CST until finished
Status: It's a story I've already started, but I plan to make a whole lot more progress on it tonight.
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....rz9iMVyqA/edit
Story: Gourmand Genetics
Themes: feeding/fattening, weight gain, fatfurs, muscle growth, cock growth, forcefeeding, oral/anal/cock vore
Time: Around 11:30 AM CST until finished
Status: It's a story I've already started, but I plan to make a whole lot more progress on it tonight.
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....rz9iMVyqA/edit
Accountability
Posted 13 years agoSo, yeah, I know I don't have the best track record for getting stories out... most of the problem is motivating myself and holding myself accountable for my promises. So, I've been throwing this idea around for a bit: how would you all like to watch me write? It's not exactly a "stream" per se, but I can open Google Docs and work on something in front of people's eyes, and they can comment and chat and such...
