A slight update. I got another sick note. I went back, I couldn't do the job with my hand the way it still is and I got another sick note for a further three weeks. Which is very nice indeed.

However, more importantly, I feel better.

It's odd, it took me 6 weeks of free time for me to unwind enough to remember I don't always have to be doing something, that I can simply sit back and let my feelings flow, dream without feeling guilty, I was losing contact with the core of my being, so wound up was I.

Radiohead, you have saved me again.

So it's two in the morning and I have to be back at work in five hours. So it makes sense that I would choose now to really think about some things and worry myself in circles.

Well, actually that seems to happen any time I try to make myself go to sleep. I worry. I worry myself sick, I make myself feel physically ill. I remember everything, I think of everything, I keep myself up until I finally pass out and forget in the late or exhausted mornng.

I suppose that's just how I am. I often feel like I'm getting through life like it's a big pile of boxes and I'm clumsily dropping them.

I think of my ambitions and my hopes and my fears and my regrets. Oh why must I think so much of regret?

Yet as ever, surrounded by wonderful friends I find myself feeling alone and unattended when this is clearly not the case.

My alarn is set for three hours time. There's probably no point in trying to sleep now.

Look at me here, trying to spill my worries with a public dear diary almost as a cry for help. It's unbecoming. It's not what I should present to the world.

Gah, I'll pull myself together and poke my chin up. I'll walk into work looking exhausted but smart and I'll bounce back before I know it. I'll get back to playing guitar and I'll get back to University this September and I'll probably get back into serious creativity.

There's a lot of other stuff that's no-where near sorted out in my head enough to even mention here.

Anyways.

Ah well, attempting to be shameless here... that's the point here. Shamelessness and all.

I'm shameless, I wish...

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Ha ha yes.

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Sex whenever the feeling's right.

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Erm... left. I think.

4. Pork, beef, or chicken?
I'm Vegetarian, but... chicken.

5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
No, I ride a bicycle. I would just lean over you see. Heh heh, vomit jokes. Height of wit.

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No. No-one has offered me money. z: )

7. Shower or bath?
Erm, shower.

8. Do you pee in the shower?
Nope, I stopped being under five quite some time ago. z: )

Oh! There was that time I peed on somone IN a shower. That was wierd. I mean, it was mainly like urinating but the tree made noise.

9. Mexican or Chinese?
Oh, Mexican, by a long way. Apart from with regard to Vegetable Spring Rolls. Those are the exception. Those are excellent.

Unless this is meant to be a racial preference for sex. Huh, couldn't be that, could it? Grief, I know this is meant to be shameless and all but come now... that's awkward. I plead lack of experience.

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Now that's a complicated question. Let's say that most of the time I like to play the predator, so accept your fate I'll be happy, resist and I'll be happier. Demonstrate that you are the predator and... well, I suppose both works then as well. Pointless question, really.

Though erm, the hope I'll find an aggressive female someday is one that keeps me up at night.

11. Do you love someone on your friend list?
Love has brought me nothing but pain. Now I refuse to acknowledge it.

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
No, unfortunately I do not. Wouldn't want to be a pest though.

13. Love or money?
That's a horrible question, I'm not answering that.

14. Credit cards or cash?
Paying by plastic ftw. So convenient.

15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't?
Nah, I'd have to have paid attention to my family in the first place.

16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
Camping. That holds a lot more magic for me than a hotel whch will still look crappy around the seems and where I'd just feel out of place.

Plus, whilst camping, I can take my guitar. We could smoke and drink to our hearts content and just appreciate the environment.

17. What is the weirdest place you have had sex?
No-where wierd. Boring bastards and their need for comfortable beds... I wanted to be adventurous but nooooo, someone might be looking through the window or... yes, bitter about this one. Dammit! I want to do it outdoors! Why can't peope actually be more spontaneous?

18. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
Forget the head and then we'll talk - or you feel my teeth.

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No. Paying too much for drinks just to be teased? That's a cruel and unusual punishment. I would cry. z: )

20. Ever been to a bar?
Hah hah yes.

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
Hah hah! Yes!

22. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
Nah, I got up.

23. Kissed someone of the same sex?
Yes, it's the other sex I've never kissed.

24. Favorite drink?
Tea with milk and no sugar... and Vodka and Port and Dark Rum and Newcastle Brown Ale and...

25. Had sex in a movie theater?
No...

26. Had sex in a bathroom?
Yes, in the shower once almost twice.

27. Have you ever had sex at work?
No. No chance.

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Yes.

29. Bought something from an adult store?
Yep. I still don't know if they use it though.

30. Have you been caught having sex?
Yes. That was pretty bad.

31. Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
Actually, yes. Just f**king ask I've got nothing to hide and no shame. Indulge my desperate need for attention. Allow my vanity some grounds for survival on account that someone finds me interesting. I'm so frustrated I have turned to occasional exhibitionism, yes.

32. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
Hmmmm.... hmmmmm..... hmmmmm.... Tanukisan and Altage. Just because I want to know what they'd write. z: )








Well, I had a wonderful festive season thanks to my hand injury. z: )

Whereas I was going to be in on both Christmas Day and New Years Day (preventing celebration on New Years Eve) because my employers are soulless bastards, thanks to having been injured, I have had a WONDERFUL time with family and friends. It's been excellent and I've started the new year with a good feeling.

So! I'm still off work with a hand injury and that's been... pretty good.

It's been an essentual chance to de-stress, actually. Work took me to the edge of breaking down emotionally because I can't not care about people and I stress and stress. The shift patterns were breaking me down physically (and mentally too.)

Lately, I've been mainly playing Eve Online (always) and reading Green Lantern comics. I started at 1960 and now I'm up to January 1987 (no. 208.) That's been a lot of fun and I have termed the whole experience, "The slow mental breakdown of Hal Jordan." That guy is cracking RIGHT up. z: )

Things have been fun on Eve too, we've got a bunch of new people in the corp including a couple of my RL friends and I'm finally making decent ISK these days, so I can be all mentorish. z: )

Ah well, I suppose that's enough of an update for now.

S : Fuckin crazy
T : You're loyal to those you love
A :Awesome kisser
R: You like to drink


A :Awesome kisser
B : You like people
C : You are really silly
D: Good in bed
E: Awesome in Bed
F :You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do
H : You have a very good personality and good looks
I : You Are Great in bed
J : People Adore You
K : You're wild and crazy
L : You Are Great in bed
M : Best kisser ever
N : Easy to fall in love with
O: Awesome kisser
P : You are popular with all types of people
Q : You are a hypocrite
R: You like to drink
S : Fuckin crazy
T : You're loyal to those you love
U : You really like to chill
V : You are not judgemental.
W : .Awesome in Bed
X : You never let people tell you what to do
Y: Best bf/gf anyone could ask for
Z : Always remembere

This sort of thing makes you feel guilty for having a long name. Plus, cutting and pasting with one hand is a pain.

So, still injured. Coping better. I spend my hours watching silly Anime anf reading old Green Lantern comics and playing Eve Online.

That's real pain in itself as I can barely play. z: j

I am cruelly limited by my injury to minor duties. Been playing the market, being the economist. It's bad and wrong, but my usual screaming gracefully in, blowing up pirates and taking their stuff routine is not so fluid as usual.

Getting used to using a mouse left-handed It's a bit silly as I AM left-handed, but I've always used a mouse right-handed. It was always on the right. I suppose that's made the adjustment easier.

Ah well, still doing okay despite the injury, lack of money and freaking antibiotics making booze inadvisable. Had one can of Grolsh the other night on Besty's birthday and it felt like six.

Ah well. This took ages. I'm now going to see if I can't submit someting.

Pain in the arse to type one handed whilst in pain so keeping this short.

Critical Failure, Bowling Ball hits you for 1D4 Blugeoning Damage.

Slightly longer version. Drunken accident. Slipped. Fractured two fingerbones. One finger burst open. Stitched in Hospital today. Hideous swelling now. 4x daily antibiotics.

My blood pressure was apparently 166/109 whilst I was quite calm, which is supposedly not good for a 5'6" 75kg 23 year old.

A - Available?: The way I've come to see it, the less I have to do with romantic feelings, the better for everyone.
A - Age: 23
A - Annoyance: The sound of other people eating. Really, really gets under my skin.

B - Best Friends?: Age, Tom and Besty, one would have to suppose.
B - Bar: Trillians, I suppose.
B - Birthday?: 18/12/1983

C - Crush: Every time I allow myself one it ends up making a mangled ruin of my heart. As above, fuck romance.
C - Car: I ride a bicycle. I like my ass fit, not flabby. Cars do that. Not because they make you lazy, but because of an ingenious pervasive energy field installed by the evil Snack Food / Big Oil / Sports Shoes consortium.
C - Cat: Rosie the cat. HER CUTENESS LEVEL, IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!

D - Dead Pets Name(s): Tibby, Topsie, Lady, Gemma, Goldie, Whitie
D - Dad's Name: Alan
D - Dog(s): Nein.

E - Easiest person to talk to: Age.
E - Eggs: Scrambled. LOTS OF SALT!
E - Email: starlight2098[at]googlemail.com

F - Favorite color?: Green
F - Food: 12" Vegetarian Pizza with extra Cheese and Mushrooms.
F - Foreign Slang: Shise-kopf.

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: I say thee NAY!
G - God: I'm as unqualified to comment as any other mortal.
G - Good Times: High times.

H - Hair Color: Light Brown, I suppose. It was once blonde.
H - Height: 5'6"
H - Happy: When I'm not at work.

I - Ice Cream: Evil, fat-making, nutritionally worthless... erm... Mint Choc Chip. z: j
I - Instrument: Fretboardless MIDI Synthesiser Electric Guitar (it fucking should exist.)
I - Idol: All in my head.

J - Jewelry: I hate stuff being on me.
J - Job: Technical Help Desk for BT Vision. *Weeps blood.*
J - Jokes: The Bear and Rabbit joke, The Ladder to Success.

K - Kids: I beleive they need to be protected but I don't want to be anywhere near the fuckers.
K - Karate: Powerful, but far too rigid. You'll never pull it off drunk.
K - Kung Fu: Really cool. In every respect.

L - Love: Has a lot to fucking answer for.
L - Longest Car Ride: Newcastle to Leicester.
L - Lipstick or Chapstick: Shitstick or bullshit?

M - Milk Flavor: BUARK.
M - Mother's Name: Maureen
M - Movie Last Watched: That I finished watching? Grindhouse: Planet Terror

N - Number of Siblings: Two older brothers, 12 and 14 years older than me.
N - Northern or Southern: Northern.
N - Name: Christopher Muir, of the Clan Muir.

O - One Wish: Eternal youth. Fuck you. z: )
O - One Phobia?: The Blob.
O - Otter Pop: I don't know what this is, but it sounds needlessly cruel. z: )

P - Parents, are they married or divorced: Married.
P - Part of your appearance you like best: ...you can't make me choose...
P - Part of your personality you like best: Never quite being all there. It defers much responsibility.

Q - Quick or Slow?: One, then the other, then one, then the other...
Q - Queer or Straight?: Bi... but with no female experience. Working on it. Not very hard though.
Q - Queen or King?: Jack. z: )

R - Reason to smile: It's better. Just better.
R - Reality TV Show: Le sigh.
R - Right or Left: LEFT.

S - Song Last Heard: Radiohead - Stop Whispering
S - Season: Winter.
S - Series: Naruto.

T - Time you wok'e up: 11:15
T - Time Now: 22:58
T - Time for bed: Unlimited, for I have no work tomorrow.

U - Unknown: What am I meant to do?
U - Unicorns: I hate horses. These things are therefore a fucking nightmare.
U - You are?: Starlight. Fox, lad, Geordie, Musician, Writer, Lethargist, Socialist, Hippy, Nothing.

V - Vegetable you hate: They all taste like shit and base metals.
V - Vegetable you love: Celery. For it has no taste and is vaguely refreshing without making me feel fat.
V - View on Politics: Basically, we have to rip everything down to make everything right and that would cost far too many lives. I fear most of us are going to have to die for the future to survive, sometimes. That realisation makes me very, very, sad.

W- Worst Habit: Never getting around to anything.
W- Where are you going to travel next: Wherever I can. IF MY SHIFTS EVER FUCKING LET ME.
W- What's up?: well, I'm now depressed about work.

X - X-Rays: A useful frequency crystal in Eve online. Green beams. Mix them with ultraviolet and together with the black of space you have my three favourite colours.
X - X-Rated: The pictures you'll never see.
X - XYZ: X-Rated Yoga Zen II, THE REVENGE!

Y - Year you were born: 1983
Y - Year it is now: 2007
Y - Yellow?: The colour of fear.

Z - Zoo Animal: In Soviet Foxes' head, Animal Zoo's you.
Z - Zodiac: Saggitarious
Z - Zoolander?: It was a larff. Not much of one mind you.

[Offending code removed.]

...it didn't, so people should just look here:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/art.....eropunctuation

I highly recommend the Console Rundown and Halo 3 reviews.

I had a really good day today.

I mean really, ?I had deja-vu about this day before. I saw it many months ago, a particular moment.

Today at work was actually l=alright. It was Halloween so we were wearing cosutumes and having competititions. I was dressed scarcily as a Fox with that tail I picked up felt tip pen whiskers on my face. Along with an apparently very gay looking orange sleevless top/ Many thanks to a dear maniac colleague Helen for pointing that out. z: )

I then went to the pub! ...and got drunk! ..and played Pool! Badly! Ihave finally come to the conclusion that yes, American Pool tables are better than English ones. It's a drunk game and he larger scale makes things easier.I then went to a party. Whilst I didn't know anyone there at first, I quickly got to enjoying myself./ Good conversations. Good times.

Popped In to 144 and had a cha with Matt.

Vsmr bsvk snf Brdyu hsd svyusllu yifirf up. He;s actually tolerable at th e moment.


Alll good stuff.
Good day.

Oh, also applying for promotion.
Heh.

...Just because I needed a new journal up. One complaint is enough. z: )

I'm enjoying the drawing more lately, which is in turn reducing my stress level in work. I'm not feeling quite as desperate to escape each day.

Plus, you know what? I think I am actually making progress.... at least I hope so.

Pet peeve here...

Why is it that whenever you decide to give someone a watch, they feel they have to throw a shout onto your FA page?

'Thanks for the watch,' is an impersonal acknowledgement of numerical gain and it displaces shouts made by friends which have actual sentimental value. Shouts like the ones I have from Aine, Rrruff and Zuki will make me smile when I see and remember them. 'Thanks for the watch,' makes me feel like people can see just what I've been looking at. z: )

Well, short version is that I've had some horribleness happen to me over the last week or so. So I've been out of sorts.

It's a good job that I've got good friends.

Since I'm not getting into University this year I think it's time to try and use this experience to catalyse some change. I think I need to be doing more with my time then playing computer games and watching stuff.

Hmmmph, I'm glad the exchange rate cuts that in half. I don't like being in debt.

Still, that also makes me sound like a cheap (and given the list, boring) bastard.

I didn't add $250 for knowing what CBT means. I mean seriously, I was not involved in that conversation. I'm not paying it. You can get the fucking bouncer. He weighs a tonne. I run faster than him. z: )


The only catch is that you can't ask the person who posted it anything about it!
Just read the "offense" and if you've done it, you owe that fine.
Keep going until you've read each "offense" and added up your total fine.
Title your response "My Bar Tab is$........"
You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Did some X -- $15
Did cocaine -- $20
Did meth -- $25
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you--$40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20
Had sex with members of the same family -- $50
Had sex with 2 different people in the same day -- $50
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know --$10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work-- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend --$50
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving-- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $100
Spit in someone's food --$25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work --$25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good --$25
Been raped -- $500
Have raped -- $200
Had sex with some one under 16 -- $300
Had sex with a dog -- $25
Had sex with a horse -- $50
Had sex with a cat -- $75 (add $50 if you tied it up so you didn't get scratched)
Have you ever had sex in a fursuit -- $100
Have you ever had sex while your partner wore a fursuit -- $100
Been spanked by a lover -- $50
Been whipped by a lover -- $ 100
Been fisted -- $150
If you know what "CBT" stands for -- $250
Used whip cream in bed -- $25
Used handcuffs in bed -- $50
Used a whip or paddle in bed -- $75
Ever imagined the person you where having sex with was some one else -- $100
If you have had a butt plug in for more then an hour -- $75
If you ever used any vacuum cleaner attachments -- $100
Had someone come climb in your bedroom window for sex so your parents would not find out -- $100
Used a blow up doll -- $50
Drove away from a car accident you caused -- $500
Cut yourself on purpose -- $100
Cut someone else on purpose -- $150
Pissed on some one -- $10 (Add $10 if they drank it)
Been pissed on -- $15 (add $20 if you drank it)
Shit on some one -- $20 (add $25 if they ate it)
Been shit on -- $25 (add $50 if you ate it)
If you have ever been shot -- $300
Dyed your hair -- $10
Dyed your pubes -- $20
If you ever ate your own cum (vaginal fluids for females)-- $20
Smoked while having sex -- $20
Ate a sandwich while having sex -- $50
Slapped someone across the face while fucking them-- $100
If you ever shoved a candle up someone's ass and lit it-- $200
Fucked someone while they were crying-- $300
If you have ever fucked a girl on the rag -- $100
If you ate her out after -- $200
If you have sucked your own cum out of a guy's ass -- $200
If you took this test and were completely honest add -- $500
Didn't use a condom -- $50
Got an STD -- $ 25
Have an STD -- $ 100
Planned to kill some one -- $50
Killed somebody -- $1,000
Add $5 for each tattoo and piercing you have
Add $10 for each scar over an inch long that you have

I have finally freaking done it, I've gotten myself a new bloody scanner and I feel like I've done something.

'Tis a pleasant feeling.

Yet another eight and a half hour shift where I counted down the minutes to freedom.

Yet now that I'm at home, it's quiet and I'm feeling alone. It's too still and I'm by myself.

Ah grief... combine this with the embarassment of the outpouring in my last journal and I'm starting to think that this is just one of those times.

You know, where you question everything, especially your own character.

It's quite annoying.

Didn't I used to be perfectly happy, sitting at home on the computer, idly typing away in privacy and indulging, uninterrupted in digital fantasies?

No, I suppose I was a bit miserable then too.

What do I want?

I'm feeling a bit silly.

I'm having real trouble with work. With the knowledge that even as I can't help but count the minutes to my freedom each day, that I'll only be doing the same again soon. It feels like half of my life is in there, trapped and yearning to be free. I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes, like tonight, it borders on panic.

I know no-one has any sympathy for me either, because, "We all have to do it," but that's about as much comfort as you could logically expect.

I'm not joking when I say panic. My heart felt like it's was going to burst. It still hurts now. That in itself really worries me.

I feel quite lucky because suddenly it got quiet and I don't know why because it usually gets very busy around ten PM. I was able to sit and chat with Byron and that releived some of the pressure. That saved my grace.

In spite of all the logic I could throw at myself I felt my composure deteriorating. I feel so stupid and I don't expect any sympathy, but frankly, I just needed to vent, to put this all down somewhere.

I want out. I want free of this but I've no-where to go.

Despite the odd hours (0700 - 1530 or 1430 - 2300 like tonight or any 8½ hour shift inbetween) I don't think I could hope for an easier job with better people.

So I feel ungrateful at the same time.
Like how I feel when I feel lonely despite my good, caring friends and family.
Like when I waste my time escaping in computer games when I could be doing so much more.
Like when I feel I'm missing physical affection when I'm lucky to have what I do.
Like when I make a post like this bemoaning it all when it could be so, so much worse.

If I'm not careful I think I may have to call myself pitiful.
Yet my heart still beats in my chest like I want to run away.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Why can't I figure out what to do about this?

Seemed remotely interesting and I had an hour.

ANGER
1. With whom did you last get angry?
A: Freaky

2. What is your weapon of choice?
A: A Eurofighter Typhoon jet fighter? z: )

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
A: Only if they were a serious threat to me or someone else. That goes for both sexes, really.

4. How about of the same sex?
A: Oh erm, yeah. Read up. I'm not sexist. I don't want to fuck anyone's face up. It's inherently a bad thing to do.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
A: My ex, a long time ago, but that's forgotten.

6. What is your pet peeve?
A: Careless casual offhand comments which promote a state of ignorance, such as, "You slept with him Jenny? Heh heh, you whore," or, "I really have to file it there? That's Gay."

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
A: My viens are filled with the blood of the Scottish and the Irish. Of course I hold grudges. I don't act on them though.




SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
A: Drink at least a litre of water with a soluable Vitamin C tablet in it.

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
A: Erm... I'll pass on that question because seriously, there's no way of remembering that. z: )

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
A: Daz.

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
A: I'm not sure. They sort of blend into one. z: j

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones)?
A: Yes, but me and my friends were a tad intoxicated and laughing our asses off.

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
A: A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away... or every day when I go to work on my bike.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
None today, but it tends to be overworked.

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
A: Mochacino.

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
A: It was white. When I ate meat.

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
A: Erm... you'll have to understand that there's no way of truly quantifying these things. z: )

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
A: Fuck no.

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
A: Yes. Now, always and forever. I don't think I'm ever going to have a sexy waistline.

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
A: Salty foods, I think. Cheese is salty, right?

7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, LUNCH?
A: ...Yes.

LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
A: Not counting school showers and shit? Erm... four.

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?
A: Three.

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
A: Yes. I fucking hate doing that, I feel dirty, feeble minded, undisciplined and unrefined. Which makes it worse and more noticable that I looked. This I realise. z: j

4. Have you done it?
A: Have I done what? Sex? Yes... but... not enough!


5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
A: Good ass is where you find it. Never mind the gender. z: )

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
A: When I was in Amsterdam, I had one bang on the window angrily at me because I had walked right past without paying attention. z: )

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
A: No.


GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own?
A: One. It ruined my life.

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
A: Asda. One place, one centralised well of shit I shouldn't spend money on. z: )

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
A: Pay off my parent's morgage and then sit on the rest, being careful not to spend too much so that I wouldn't have to work if I didn't want to.

4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
A: I don't know. Having power without vulnerability has its appeal, but then, I suppose I'd like to be immortalised in the public zeitgeist.

6. Have you ever stolen anything?
A: No. I'm far too nice.

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
A: Erm... shit, you just had to ask that one, didn't you? z: ) I'm going to leave that one going and come back to it. (It came back as 6,544 a while later.)

PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
A: Starting the local area Furry group for Newcastle Upon Tyne and organising the meets for years until I got sick of it. At which point they fell apart. Not so proud of that bit. z: j

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
A: Got a job. z: j

3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
A: Make a shitload of media. Art, writing, music, animation. Let people have them for free.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
A: Fuck no, I'd be proud. z: )

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?:
A: I wouldn't be so arrogant as to think that I was. As it is, I'm a Jack of All Trades, master of nothing. z: j

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
A: Nope.

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
A: I've only been up an hour. Give me a break. z: j


ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
A: Meh, I'm not that posessive.

2. Who would you want to go on Trading Spaces with?
A: Eh? What?

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
A: Aside from someone with super power or eternal youth, I think I'm happy with me.

4. Have you ever been cheated on?
A: Nope. Wouldn't bother me anyway.

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
A: A slim waistline.

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
A: Some of that delightful confident arrogance that irritates me so much in the world at large.

7. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
A: Erm... Vanity. I have to admit to that one. z: )



THE SEVEN HEAVELY VIRTUES

FAITH
1. What religion do you follow?
A: My only solid belief is that if there is a divinity, then no mortal is qualified to speak on it.

2. What religion were you raised as?
A: Same as most people in the UK; Quietly Agnostic.

3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property?
A: It's a concept and a process, not a property or attribute.

4. Do you have your own commandments
A: Do what is in the greater good. Understand every point of view. Always, always care, for if we don't care, everything is lost.

5. What was the last promise you broke?
A: Erm... "Yeah, I'll be there, right on time..."

6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it?
A: Nope. I haven't prayed since I was 11, but I meant every word when I said it.

7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect?
A: I beleive that perfection itself is a myth. There is no such thing, it's a true impossibility.


HOPE
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season?
A: No. Who cares?

2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for?
A: Artistic success. Perhaps getting a place of my own.

3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure?
A: Oh, all the fucking time. Fucking seriously. I think I fucking hate myself or something. This is why I've sworn off romantic feelings. They're nothing but pain for all involved.

4. Freedom or fate?
A: Fate is far too intangible to seriously deal with. Freedom I truly prize.

5. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket?
A: No.

6. Do you gamble?
A: No. I think it's a mug's game and the road to ruination.

7. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway?
A: I live in England... of COURSE I have. z: )


CHARITY
1. What causes do you support?
A: It's been a while since I've given to charity, but I used to give a lot of spare change to the RSPCA and the British Heart Foundation.

2. What causes have you given money or time to?
A: Erm... isn't this the same question as above?

3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless?
A: Sadly, no.

4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel?
A: No, but I always think that I should. The third world deserves our money and labour a lot more than we do.

5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street?
A: On many an occasion.

6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food?
A: If giving someone somewhere to stay for two months counts, then yes.

7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need
A: See above.


FORTITUDE
1. What are you most afraid of?
A: The Blob and all things like it. Slimy things that consume and kill you.

2. What did you do today that was really brave?
A: I only just got up.

3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why?
Jack Knight, the younger Star Man. Because he was a breath of fresh air, a human and relatable forced-into-the-role type who was NOT also incidentally a munchkin.

4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone?
A: Yes.

5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart?
A: I think if I had to face a magic user, I'd have to do it intelligently, use my cunning to nullify his advantages.

6. Have you ever gotten stage fright?
A: Yes, but strangely never on stage. On stage I flourish. On the phone to one person, I choke. z: j

7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower?:
A: I lead or I observe and advise from the periphery. I have trouble following.


JUSTICE
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty?
A: No.

2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it?
A: I'm not certain. It would depend on the exact circumstances. Today and now? I'd get out of it. Go to prison, whatever. If they can't handle the current situation with regular professional soldiers then they should tuck that tail between those legs.

3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)?
A: No. I think that's a power that needs to be kept out of the hands of governments. Besides, if someone has really done something truly bad, then they should live and suffer under the weight of their guilt.

4. Which should be guaranteed legal?
A: This needs clarification.

5. Do you believe that George W. is rightfully President of the USA?
A: No. No I do not. The USA has been overtaken by a cabal of ruthless fanatic assholes who probably want to destroy all life.

6. What was your favorite media circus trial?
A: They all make me a little bit too sick.

7. Have you ever written a letter to a politician?
A: Yep.

TEMPERANCE
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on?
A: That's hard to choose. I have no moderation or discipline. z: )

2. Do you collect anything?
A: VHS and DVD, CD and Vinyl, price stickers (I'm making a fasionable coffee table z: ) )

3. Are you addicted to anything?
A: Marajuana.

4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan?
A: Yep. That's how I got my Telecaster.

5. What's your preferred method of paying for things?
A: Chip and PIN. Even if it is too easy.

6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do?
A: Lost my virginity the way that I did. It was awkward and crap.

7. Do you feel that you obsess over things?
A: I don't have the attention span. z: )


PRUDENCE
1. Who is the wisest person you know?
A: It was a man called Jonny, but... he died.

2. Have you ever participated in a vigil?
A: Erm... not sure, perhaps?

3. Do you take advice when it's given?
A: I'm pretty shit at taking advice. I always listen, but I never learn.

4. What area are you wisest in?
A: Having patience with people.

5. Do you drive defensively?
A: I ride a push bike. If I didn't ride defensively, I'd be dead meat. Drivers are fucking impatient, self-centred, ignorant fucking idiots on the road.

6. What did you learn today?
A: That this illness still hasn't gone away. I still feel like shit.

7. And of course, what is your favorite heavenly virtue?
A: Temperance.

1. How old will you be in five years?
28
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
My dear ex Spike and my friends Tom and Will.
3. How tall are you?
5'6"
4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
Hrm. Grand intoxication and any new experiences life has to offer with or without my interaction.
5. What's the last movie you saw?
Killers Invisible
6. Who was the last person you called?
David Aitchison, the guy I may be forming a band with.
7. Who was the last person to call you?
Freaky.
8. What was the last text message you received?
David Aitchison stating that he wasn't sure about the bus services between Monkseaton and Wallsend.
9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
Spikee
10. Do you prefer to call or text?
Call. Get it out of the way in one minute for fucks fucking fucking fuck's sake. It's goign to be 30p that way, rather than x * bullshit factor * smalltalk penalty * concision factor / shite
11. What were you doing at 12am last night?
Drinking a can of Cider whilst having a very important conversation about life, love and The Mars Volta.
12. Are your parents married/divorced?
Married. For now, at least. Whatever.
13. When did you last see your mom?
Two hours ago. Though I fear repeat attacks.
14. What color are your eyes?
Blue
15. What time did you wake up today?
8AM slight interferance by FUCKING DRAGON, Noon-1300 actual.
16. What are you wearing right now?
Green fatigue pants, navy blue t-shirt, black socks.
17. What is your favorite Christmas song?
It's Christmas by Slade
18. Where is your favorite place to be?
On top of the Rising Sun Hill at the end of the World.
19. Where is your least favorite place to be?
Someplace where I'm going to die soon.
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?
Fucking everywhere. For fucks sake, why would it just be one place? There's an everywhere to see.
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
In some sort of Obi-wan-kenobi role to those hippies younger than me even though I'm only 33.
22. Do you tan or burn?
I lie in shaded places, groaning with a migraine because I'm suffering from sunstroke.
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
The fucking Blob. Nothing has ever freaked me out as much now or then.
24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh?
An existential revelation.
25. How many TVs do you have in your house?
3. We got rid of a load.
26. How big is your bed?
Erm... two single matresses, next to each other on the floor in one room and a double in the other room.
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
Desktops. Several.
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
Totally without. Stuff has to breathe. I only put the douvet on when I feel very cold.
29. What color are your sheets?
Violet and White.
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Four.
31. What is your favorite season?
There is no way I could ever fucking decide that. Winter... kind of makes you confront your mind, however.
33. What do you like about winter?
Curious coincidence that this is asked. The appreciation of warmth. The appreciation of everything civilisation offers and the true difficulties of survival. The introspective thought provoked. The beautiful skies, which unlike at any other time of year, from one side to another actually form a rainbow in subtle tones.
34. What do you like about the summer?
The warmth and sheer liveliness. The energy and abundant life.
35. What do you like about spring?
The fact that it's not quite as cold as Winter, even if it is a lot wetter.
36. How many states/provinces have you lived in?
States. LOL. More than you could care to count or consider, but I've lived in Wallsend all my life.
37. What cities/towns have you lived in?
Just Wallsend.
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Outside? Boots. Indoors? Socks. Bed? Bare.
39. Are you a social person?
I tend to be quite introspective wherever I am, but I would go crazy if I couldn't observe others.
40. What was the last thing you ate?
Stella Artois. Beer is liquid bread, know you not?
41. What is your favorite restaurant?
Erm... Subway?
42. What is your favorite ice cream?
Mint and Choc Chip
43. What is your favorite dessert?
I don't know. Maybe if one could combine a Banana Sundae with a Sticky Toffee Pudding with White Sauce, then perhaps I'd be able to decide.
44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
Mushroom.
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Peanut butter and Jam? Fuck off. z: )
46. Do you like Chinese food?
No. There is no way in which the pain of an animal can enhance my eating experience. Unless I'm really really hungry or I haven't had sex in a very very very long time, perhaps. Hypothetically. I mean, we'd all go a bit crazy in that circumstance, right? Right. Naturally. STOP LOOKING AT ME.
47. Do you like coffee?
Erm... I only indulge in the Filthy Black Bean of Evil when the Beautiful Green Leaf of Good that is Tea is not quite caffeinative enough.
48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
Erm... two?
49. What do you drink in the morning?
Tea.
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
Left side... I think. It's sort of two matresses on the floor so.. Bananas.
52. Do you know how to play poker?
Aye. I still thinks it's a shit game though.
53. Do you like to cuddle?
Hrmph... on occasion. Generally, it's a bit inconvenient.
54. Have you ever been to Canada?
Nope.
55. Do you have an addictive personality?
I can't decide. I have a fair amount of willpower but a lot of will to do shit I like.
56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
Home.
58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
Joseph Stalin.
59. Do you want kids?
Actually, yes. I don't know if I'll ever get the chance though.
60. Do you speak any other languages?
Let's... say no.
61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
Yep.0
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Not that I remember. I was four.
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
The Pool is prounouncedly less cold in some parts of the world and scary in others.
64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
Widow. The views I get of the outside from cruising in public transport in some ways define my world.
65. Do you know how to drive stick?
I have no idea what you mean. I do however rule at Wing Commander.
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Marajuana.
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
No. I hate shit being on me.
68. What is your favorite TV show?
You can't make me choose.
69. Can you roll your tongue?
Yes!.. and I'd do it again!
70. Who is the funniest person you know?
Tati.
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
No. That would be frightening.
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
A bit of random dancy type shise.
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
Yup.
74. What red object is closest to you right now?
An empty can of Woodpecker Cider.
75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth?
Yes. For all of those reasons of Water Conservation that seem so very irrelevant when you live in the North East of England.
76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
I really don't care.
77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? --
A bear. Totally. That's only one attacking entity to keep track of or evade. I'd consider my survival chances higher.
78. Do you flirt a lot?
No. Sometimes I regret that.
79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
I don't. I'm a vegetarian.
80. What is your favorite food?
A 12" Margherita with Extra Cheese.
81. Can you change the oil on a car?
Fuck no.
82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Fuck no.
83. Have you ever run out of gas?
Well, I've been a tad tired on my bike before, but I got over it. I started moving again.
84. What is your usual bedtime?
0300 - 0500 GMT
85. What was the last book you read?
David Gemmell - The First Chronicles of Druss the Legend
86. Do you read the newspaper?
Sometimes.
87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Not any more.
89. Do you watch soap operas?
Fuck no.
90. Do you dance in the car?
I'd have to have a car first. Then we'll see.
91. What radio station did you last listen to?
BBC Radio One.
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you?
A charming Red Fox. As if there's another kind.
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
My shifts for next week.
94. What is your favorite candle scent?
Not burning out with the smell of parafin.
95. What is your favorite board game?
Go.
97. When was the last time you attended church?
...No fucking idea.
98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school?
Mr Lightfoot
99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?
One night.
100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you?
That issue, my dear reader, is quite entirely censored. z: )

I would have lost hope. I wouldn't have heard what he had to say and understood what he was saying. I'm sure there are a thousand fucks out there who have said or are saying the same thing but so fucking what. What has meaning for a person has meaning for a person and I don't regret my feelings one little bit.

Well maybe a little, here and there. I've been stupid like any fucker on this planet and for fuck's sake let's not get too far into that bullshit pile of pretence of an argument. Fuck that. I'd rather have a laught and enjoy life.

It strikes me, truly, the feeling one can get from one being to another, through the medium of art. As is seen so typically on this website for better or worse is the erotic side of things. Well so what, people enjoy that and I'm no-one to judge and I indulge myself for the same good reasons as anyone else. That's besides the point. Whilst such expression is in no way inherently inferior or superior to another, indeed if such superiority and inferiority ever truly exist, there's a whole fucking lot of other emotions out there that have to be expressed through every fucking medium for whatever that medium is worth.

I was listening to Nirvana Unplugged and thinking of the media hyperbole that existed at the time and afterwards, to this day practically, which cheapened the whole thing whilst the whole time missing the point of everything the guy said and done. The guy made a lot more sense than I do with such a passion that few could hope to match and I don't mind admitting that I'm slightly envious of his ability if not for the fucking conditions which may have made it that particular thing that it was.

Now that's a particularly powerful outpouring and skillful performance, execution and summarisation of feelings. I mean for fuck's sake, who could have left something better as their final gift to the world, whatever the circumstances of the death. Suicide, accidental ovedose leading to suicide, blatant fucking murder. Whatever. Again, not the point despite my rambling on the subject. Give me a fucking chance, I'm not in the mood to talk 'straight' or fucking whatever if you'll excuse my lazy abuse of the language in my frustration to express meaning at this hour.

Anyone can do that, if not to such a degree, at any point and let's be honest, to be driven to such a degree is not to have the happiness we wish for in life. Happy people can make powerful music and artwork too, but it's even more rarely driven with such passion and the rare talent to see it through all at once... and that sort of power and fucking coincidentally placed talent is rare enough as it is and recognised even more rarely still.

I suppose those in more cheerful a mood don't stand a fucking chance. Negative emotions always seem more powerful than the positive and it's so much easier to listen to them and be a moody asshole than it is to be truly patient and altruistic (however selfish one might consider altruism, though that's another argument altogether.)

I suppose I may have lost my point if I ever had a specific one that I defined. Well actually, fuck that. The point IS in the making. Every little step of the way, that's what counts, not some bullshit misinterpreted summary. People need to think of that more often. The stupid little summarisation you conclude at the end is NOT the end of the story, it's just your interpretation at the time. Fuck that. Remember the experience. There was more too it than you thought of when you were forming your little one-off opinion. You'll probably think differently of it later if you're not too busy being so fucking opinionated with your highly rated opinions that you forget the true scope of what drove them and the fact that the opinion only reflects a minority of that which you have seen, done or heard.

At the end of the day though, who or what the fuck am I to tell anyone anything?
Same as the fucking rest of everything. Existing.

So, I haven't posted anything in a while.

Many are shocked. I know, I've shed a tear or two myself.

...yet know thee, all two people I guesstimate whom will bother to read this, there are reasons for my sad absenses.

Firstly, I GOT A JOB. I ACTUALLY GOT A BLOODY JOB.
Shocking, yes. Unexpected, probably. Positive... go on then, yes. I can finally clear my debts and live with a tad less fear in my life. Plus there's that whole pride/self-esteem blah-blah. Anyways. Yes, I'll have less free time to waste from now on. Not that I used it productively in the first place, but I enjoyed it.

Secondly, my scanner is dead. It not work no more. Therefore, I can't scan the erm... reams and reams of material showing my inexorable progess towards excellence (trans. couple of pictures that I'm pleased to have gotten done.)

So there you are.

I decided that it would be quite a laugh to do this after seeing it on one of Apotheosis'

journal entries.

I was expecting the results to be quite random (I have about 15 gigs and a lot of it was

donated by others rather than ripped/downloaded by myself....) but not quite this

random. Who the hell copied me Papa Roach? At least I know I can blame Spikee for

the presence of Scooter. z: )

You know, I'm at least fairly certain that no-one can accuse me of a musical collection

lacking in diversity...


1. Set your music program or mp3 player with all your music in it to

RANDOM/SHUFFLE.

2. Write down 20 songs that pop up, even if they aren't your favorites. Write them

down, no matter how embarrassing.

3. Try to write down the names of the song and the name of the artist/ group.

4. After you have done the 20 keep random going and from there write 5 of your

favorites that randomly come up.

5. DON'T LIE, IT'S JUST FOR FUN. Even if you like one of the songs that are a guilty

pleasure write them anyway.

Now, show your music here:

1. KRS-One - Club Shoutouts
2. Bradley Strider - Bradley's Beat Part 2b
3. Roni Size - Elektricks
4. Red Hot Chili Peppers - One Big Mob
5. Orbital - Pac Man Theme (Techno Remix)
6. Papa Roach - She Loves Me Not
7. Echo Image - Need To Be Proud
8. Bogdan Raczynski - Gaijin Sabetsu, Gaikoku Jimchumu
9. Rage Against The Machine - Renegades of Funk
10. The Buggles - Video Killed the Radiostar
11. Scooter - Am Fenster
12. KRS-One - I Am There
13. 50 Cents freat Eminem and Destiny's Child - Thug Love (Remix)
14. Richard X vs. Liberty X - Being Nobody
15. Squarepusher - Circlewave
16. Cradle of Filth - All Hope in Eclipse
17. DJ Godfather - Ghettotech
18. KRS-One - Sound of da Police
19. Rage Against The Machine - No Shelter
20. Mesh - It Scares Me


Now for the top 5 favorites out of these:

5. Rage Against The Machine - No Shelter
4. Orbital - Pac Man Theme (Techno Remix)
3. Red Hot Chili Peppers - One Big Mob
2. Squarepusher - Circlewave

1. Rage Against The Machine - Renegades of Funk

Interviewed by Altage

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I'll respond by asking you a couple personal questions. If I already know you well, expect the questions to be a little more intimate!
3. Then you update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

1. Describe your ideal society, making allowances for real world considerations such as government, an economy, and so on.

Anarcho environmental marxism. Whilst I recognise the value of laws and the value of making them absolute, the problem with that is that those hard lines are defined by... 'political individuals' or fanatics.

I suppose what I'd rather see is a set of flexible guidelines and doctrine (as opposed to obscure dogma) which espouse moderation, personal honour, the practicalities of altruism, the importance of working with the environment instead of against it and valuing the life and individuality of all - whether or not you like it. Matters of faith must not be dictated and nor may they be allowed to dictate politics. Even the mere suggestion that faith rather than fact influenced a politician's decision should be seen as a shame and a dishonour. The government must also be willing to say that it was wrong when new facts come to light, without shame. People must accept this fallibility as inevitable. Scientce and politics must be transparent for this to work.

So what I have is a bunch of hippies in a field, waiting to die of typhoid and starvation? Well no. I don't beleive the above principles are incompatible with an urbanised society. For one thing, more people in cities is less people fouling up the countryside. Technology is the saviour of man and beast alike. A ten-acre facility which uses space three-dimentionally to grow genetically improved hydroponic crops and vat-cloned meat is worth a hundred acres where nature has been driven back and pushed that little bit further to collapsing point. Happier, healthier people, better economics. Birth control should be seen as a social responsibility. Defense and deterrance a sad necessity.

Well anyway, that's what I think at the moment. Tomorrow, I'll probably have changed my mind. z: )

2. Describe your ideal home.

Well, it would have to be interesting. Floors and ceilings different heights. Railings around raised platforms. Ladders. Tubes. A balcony with a beautiful view and perhaps a hot tub. A cosy loft with shaded, one-way mirrored glass to view the sky through. Not too much open space. Differing balances of light, shade and colour. Some rooms would have to be soundproofed. Some rooms would be fully padded, like one big beanbag or pillow. Partly underground. Possibly camoflauged. Five different ways of getting from any one place to another - varying grades of difficulty.

3. What superhuman abilities would you choose to possess, and to what ends would you use them? What would your weaknesses be?

Super speed, the ability to project and influence energy and syringes full of 'medication.' I'd fight for peace. and free love.

I suppose my weakness would be almost normal vulnerabilities (the super speed would require some upgrading on the basic chassis) along with my romantic social conscience.

4. If it came down to it, would you choose death or enslavement?

Tough one. Death'd be tempting, but it precludes the possibility of making a useful contribution towards ending that situation. Even if all I could hope to do with my life is pass on some memetics which aid future generations to organise against and overcome the slavers.

5. And, to end on something fluffy, what would you do if you had five million pounds (That's pounds sterling, for our foreign viewers) and only forty-eight hours in which to spend it?

I'd arranged to pay off the mortgages of as many people as I could (my parents, your parents, Spikee's parents, etc,) and if possible, a place of my own (if there's one I can quickly nab, preferably one that'd been derelict for a while) whilst ordering the stuff I'd like (ten nine-bars, a shit-hot computer, plus some super-cool guitar equipment, which would in all come to less than twenty grand at most.)

Canadian
[ ] You like/play/played hockey.
[X] You love beer.
[X] You say eh.
[ ] You know what poutine is
[ ] You speak some french.
[ ] You love Tim Horton's.
[ ] At one point you lived in a farm house.
[ ] You watch/watched degrassi.
[ ] "Play Money" is green.
[ ] You understand the phrase "I left my toque on the chesterfield"
[ ] Kraft Dinner is a meal, not a side dish.
Total = 2

British
[X] You drink a lot of tea.
[X] You know what a brolly is.
[ ] Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.
[ ] You wanted Ben to win X Factor.
[X] You use the word "bugger" or the phrase "bloody hell."
[X] Fish and Chips are yummy.
[X] You can eat a Full English Breakfast.
[ ] You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs.
[X] Its football...not soccer.
Total = 6

Australian
[ ] You wear flip flops all year.
[ ] You call flip flops thongs not flip flops.
[ ] You love a backyard barbie.
[ ] You know a barbie is not a doll.
[ ] You love the beach.
[X] Sometimes you swear without realizing.
[ ] You're a sports fanatic.
[ ] You are tanned.
[ ] You're a bit of a bogan.
[ ] You have an australian something
Total = 1

Italian
[ ] The Sopranos is a great show.
[ ] Your last name ends in a vowel.
[ ] Your grandmother makes her own sauces.
[ ] You know how a real meatball tastes.
[ ] You know Italian songs.
[ ] You have dark hair and dark eye color.
[ ] You speak some italian.
[X] You are under 5'10''
[ ] You know what an italian horn is
[X]Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world!!!
[ ] You talk with your hands. (hell yes XD)
Total = 2

Spanish
[ ] You say member instead of remember.
[X] You speak spanish or some.
[X] You like tacos.
[ ] YoU TyPe lIkE ThIs On Da CoMpUtEr.
[ ] You are dark skinned.
[X] You know what a Puta is.
[X] You talk fast occasionally.
[X] You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.
[ ] You know what platanos are.
Total = 5

Russian
[ ] You say villian as: Vee-lon.
[X] You get short tempered.
[ ] You know of somebody named Natasha.
[X] You get cold easily.
[X] Rain is fun for you.
[ ] You get into contests all the time.
[X] You can easily make do with the cold weather.
Total = 4

Irish
[X] You think beer is the best.
[X] You have a bad temper.
[ ] Your last name starts with a Mc, Murph, O', Fitz or ends with a ley, on, un, an, in, ry, ly, y.
[X] You have blue or green eyes.
[X] You like the color green.
[ ] You have been to a st. pattys day party.
[ ] You have a family member from Ireland.
[X] You have blonde hair. (Had.)
[ ] You have/had freckles.
[X] Your family get togethers always include drinking and singing.
Total = 6

African American
[ ]You say nigga/nukka casually
[ ] You have nappy hair.
[ ] You like rap.
[X] You know how to shoot a gun
[X] You think President George Walker Bush is racist.
[X] You like chicken.
[X] You like watermelon.
[X] You can dance.
[ ] You can 'sing' gospel.
Total = 5

Asian
[ ] You have slanty/small eyes.
[ ] You like rice a lot.
[ ] You are good at math.
[X] You have played the piano.
[ ] You have family from asia.
[X] You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.
[ ] Most people think you're chinese.
[ ] You call hurricanes typhoons.
[ ] You go to Baulko.
Total = 2

German
[X] You like bread.
[X] You think German Chocolate is good.
[X] You Speak some German.
[ ] You know what Schnitzel is.
[ ] You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.
[ ] You went to Pre-school.
[X] You're over 5'2
Total = 4

American
[ ] You hate foreigners.
[ ] You hate non - Christians.
[X] You're lazy.
[ ] You are not cultured.
[ ] You hate abortion.
[ ] But love the death penalty.
[ ] You don't read.
[ ] You shop at walmart.
[ ] You think this survey is rather biased.
Total = 1



You know, this was actually entertaining to do. I've discovered today that I'm as Irish as I am English and I'm more Russian than American. Who knew? Hey, do you know that I share my birthday with Joseph Stalin? z: )

1. Do you like animals?
Yes. They're cute and funny. Plus, they never say anything to annoy me. z: )

2. Have you ever met an online friend in person?
Loads.

3. Are you athletic?
I like to think so... though my health isn't as good as it was. Knees went downhill a bit, so it's been hard to keep up my shape.

4. Are you: thin, fat, athletically built etc
Erm... athletic with a paunch..? Grief, my pride... z: j

5. How much do you weigh?
13 stone... erm. 185lb I think

6. What's your height?
5' 6"

7. Shoe size?
Eight.

8. Girls- are you tomboyish, girly, normal, etc?

9. Guys- Are you girly, or guyish?
Erm... more masculine than femenine. Particularly in behaviour. I think.

10. How old are you?
Twenty three.

11. When's your birthday?
December 18th. Same as Stalin. z: )

12. Do you like to receive giftart?
Fuck yeah. No one does me any though. Everyone clearly hates and despises me. z: )

13. Are you sociable?
Aye. Though I like to vary from extremes, a few days alone then a MENTAL PARTY and so on and so forth.

14. Do you have many friends?
I know some great fucking people, I'm grateful for that.

15. What's your nationality?
1. LOL. 2. Fox. 3. Geordie. 4. British.


16. Do you like to talk on the phone?
...Not really. Unless it's someone I haven't spoken to in a while.

17. Are you single or taken?
Quite single and enjoying it thoroughly. I'm also a bit jaded about love and romance.

18. Do you eat meat?
Nah. I think you are what you eat and this Fox is in no way an evolutionarily dead-ended by artificial selection, mechanically processed ball of stupid squealing fat. This leaves me with some predatorial tensions... but... I can always transfer said tensions in other directions. z: )

19. Are you paranoid?
Neh. I'm probably a little naive, in fact.

20. Do you read a lot?
Aye... though mostly fiction. I have a lot of trouble with most non-fiction.

21. Do you listen to music, what kind?
Oh, loads, though my preference depends upon situation. Sitting around, I like a bit of rock or classical, Radiohead or folk or reggae. If I'm out and about, techno/electro/etc is the stuff to be dancing to. That's its purpose.

22. Do you play any instruments?
Guitar, keyboard, computer.

23. How long have you been drawing?
Erm... depends what you mean? Casually? Whole life. Seriously? Never. z: )

24. What’s the meaning of life?
Enjoy it. Make it worthwhile. Gain immortality. No. Literally. z: )

You know, I'm starting to suspect that I'm not supposed to get anything done, art-wise.

My scanner doesn't work. Not only is my old P166 (which holds its drivers) on its last legs, but I can't find the fucking paralell cable... and... how the fuck can you lose one of those!? They're massive! ...AND it sucks ballsniff cheese!

I DEMAND A FUNCTIONING PENCIL SHARPENER!!!

My rage on this matter could destroy worlds. One requires correctly sharpened pencils in order to craft images. What instead I have are short, mishapen implements with misaligned, irregular tips that I must work around in order to try and form anything like the shape I desire.

On the bright side, I found a box of drawing pencils, with a variety of grades inside. That is pleasing and I have no idea when I picked it up but... I'm not touching them until I have something decent to maintain them with. I'm not having them mishapen with broken internal lead.

Dammit, maybe I'll just bite fate in the eye.
Why!?
Why you ask!?
It's a sad day come to pass when a Fox must present his justification for wanting to bite fate in the eye...

Well, there's one of those memes going about and this one suggests that you should ask someone for a free sketch (one of five they will do) and in return you merely have to do the same yourself. ie. One sketch for five different people.

Well, I'm safe because;
A: I'm never going to get that bloody sketch.
B: No-one knows me.
C: No-one cares for my drawings.
Therefore, I don't really have to do anything. z: )

Here's the list anyway.
1. Kee_Fox
2. Altage
3.
4.
5.