It been awhile since I've uploaded art or posted a journal. The reasons behind this is because...I haven't been too confident in uploading nowadays. I still draw and all it's just...it seems like people don't really care about the art I upload. It really destroys my confidence in myself and my art to the point where I usually post twitter and instagram exclusive artworks. I'm sorry for this inactivity, really I am. I just don't know what to do about it anymore. Things were easier on DeviantArt but here it's the complete opposite. I'll still be on the site, maybe I'll post like monthly art or something. I honestly don't know yet.
I hope you all understand.
Thank you for reading this, if you did.

I have never lost a watcher on anything before, and this happens. God fucking dammit.
Great way to destroy my self esteem. I don't even know who it was, I can't tell. I'm livid and heartbroken.
Is it because my art isn't good enough for them? Who knows.
Either way screw them.
I'll probably gain another watcher to take their place...hopefully

12 more days until I turn 18! Agh I'm excited! >w<

Yep, my birthday is on October 17th. I wanna spend it with you guys too, you have honestly made me feel great during these tough times I have gone through. It's the least I can do in return. thank you all.

I'm sick as all hell right now. I have been for the past month. I'm feeling upset about stuff. AND my tablet broke a few weeks ago. I would have said something but I felt like nobody would give a shit. It's beyond repair. So now I'm using my old tablet with the crappy camera. I can't do anything about it.
I'm hoping to get a new tablet next month for my birthday. So that's a plus. There will be less art because of the shitty camera I have.
But anyway I feel horrible, I probably will for sometime. I just...it's hard right now.
I probably need some time to feel better, I hope you all understand.





If you want to see what happened to my tablet, click the link below.
https://twitter.com/ST0RMTR00PERGUY.....33668917547008

I'm not sure why. Like...I don't have as much motivation to draw as I used to. I don't know why I'm like this right now. I don't know if it's linked to the DeviantArt incident I had or just the sheer amount of depression I've been going through. I just don't know.
Like a lot of weird stuff has been happening recently. For instance I've been questioning the meaning of a lot of things or questioning the point of doing certain things. I've been really upset and depressed for no reason, well except when my grandfather passed away late last month because I had a reason to be depressed. But at other times I'd be sitting in my room relaxing when suddenly this giant wave of depression hits me for no reason whatsoever. This sudden depression happens so much it's almost a daily thing now.
It's just been really tough lately, things are being more difficult than it should. I just don't know what is going on. Some of this is just so upsetting because sometimes I can't get anything done so I just lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling.
Maybe I just need time to think, who knows.

That's right, I've finally ran out of paper. Right now i can't afford another XL sketchbook, which makes me really sad. BUT I do have a sketchbook that is waaaaay smaller than my previous one I used for doodles.
I can post art still, it just won't be as much as it used to due to the size of the paper. I have a few requests in my previous sketchbook to finish so don't worry about those, they will be up ASAP.
But yeah that's my sketchbook update as of now.

My tablet is breaking, I need to factory reset it this weekend. It's just...UGH.
I just want to throw myself off a roof, I can't take it anymore, all technology doesn't want to work with me.
F
M
L

Okay so, I might have to delay a couple requests. The reason why is because I have three pieces of paper left in my sketchbook. Now I might be able to use those three pages for three separate requests. I'll most likely do that.
Now once I get a new sketchbook I'll resume right away on the other requests. I wanted to let everyone who requested something know that the original request might be delayed.
I hope you all understand.

I'm very sorry for the inactivity on here involving art, some things have been going on lately. Now one reason you guys know of is my tablet camera issues. Don't worry I'm going to get it fixed.
But another reason why there's the lack of art is because I've been oddly hesitant on drawing stuff. I'm not sure why I'm being like this, I'm try to take care of it as soon as possible. So don't worry art will be back in no time.
And I might be uploading something later today for a friend depending on what's going on.
So yeah, that's all for now.

I almost caught a Ho-oh earlier
But then it disappeared right as I clicked it due to a glitch
The dream is gone QAQ

Recently, I think the past month or two, I've noticed that my hands won't stop shaking. It's hardly any shaking but they're still shaking. Sometimes it'll get to the point where they're straight up trembling like I'm terrified or something. It gets severely irritating when it comes to doing things with my hands.
Like for instance drawing. Drawing is becoming such a freaking pain now with my shaky hands. Drawing the base sketch is alright, a few things don't come out right but I manage to fix it. But lining the sketch can be a nightmare. I use a sharpie to line my drawings, and if I mess up I'm screwed. It hasn't gotten to the point where a drawing is ruined, right now it's just a few lines not looking neat and straight.
But it's not just drawing, it affects my typing too. Now I'm sure most of you know this by now but I use a tablet, so that means I type on a tablet. Whenever I'm trying to type I'll always mess up a word or two because I keep pressing some other keys when I meant to hit a different key. I mean throughout me typing this journal it happened multiple times.
Is this normal? If not then what should I do?

I just noticed that they were suspended. What happened to them?

So if any of you have noticed recently there's been these splotches or spots on my art pictures. Now honestly those were not there before, they just appeared one day. But since then they've been getting bigger and darker AND more have been appearing.
Now honestly I don't know how they're getting there. It's on the lens of my tablet, I've cleaned and scrubbed the lens really good but they just won't go away. So it must be scratches on the lens. But the problem is that I don't see any scratches, well that I can see.
Anyway I'm going to try to get the lens replaced, I just need to figure out how to replace the camera lens on a tablet. Now I won't post much while this issue is going on. I'll only post something if I really want to. So hopefully you guys will understand if there's a lack of art.


Jesus christ I said "now honestly" waaaay too much there.

I might be getting a job at my local Little Caesars. I'm thinking about it, I'm definitely considering it.
I hope I do good. o3o

For some reason I can't see the favorites from a few people. I know that there's favorites cause I see people thanking the person for favorites.
So I don't understand why this is happening. I have settings on mature and adult (mature for some of the people I watch and adult juuust in case) so I just don't know why it's like this.
Is this happening with anyone else?

In the dream, me and my friends had to save the world in a downtown like area. We had to gather supplies and such to create something to prevent this cataclysmic event while people were trying to stop us.
I was searching the upper floors and suddenly I stopped. That place felt like it had something of pure evil in there. Like it was so strong that I could feel it both in the dream and irl. I ended up leaving the building because of it...then right before I woke up I saw two red eyes in the darkness.
I recognise those eyes. They belong to what appeared to be a shadowy dragonic looking thing, I never got a good look at it. But I managed to see the face a bit to draw a picture. I need to find it.
This, thing, has been in my dreams for six months, just in the background doing nothing. A few months ago, it finally did something. It killed me in a dream. Stabbed me right through the chest, when I woke up my chest was in severe pain. I haven't seen that thing since then...
Y'all might think that I'm crazy but this actually happened. I'm legitimately serious.

I smell smoke...I've noticed it a few days ago. Is this normal? No one else in my family smells it, it's just me
It's mainly in my room, and the smell seems like it's coming from outside. I know when one of my neighbours is grilling and it's definitely not that.
But on top of that it appears to be smokey outside, the sky is all gray and hazy...
Are there any wildfires that are going on in Colorado or in central and northern America that I don't know about?

Yup you heard it. All summer long I'll be making random gift art for my watchers, at random times (mainly whenever I have enough time) :D
Now the people who will receive said gift art will be kept a secret. And what the gift art will be kept a secret as well. Those who receive random gift art has my permission to upload it as well.
KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR GIFTZ

I'm just having the worst of days today. Everything is going to shit...chaotic. ...or whatever
I got literally no sleep last night, so I'm tired as fuck right now. I have no motivation to draw today, or do anything for that matter. I can't even draw because my hands are shaking non stop. I feel like nobody cares about what's going on. I'm getting sick...ugh someone kill me
Why is everything going to shit today...why...

I'm thinking about doing a little bit of a Q&A session, so like ask me anything if you feel like it =P
All questions will be answered =P

I'm asking this because I wanna know what you guys are interested in seeing. Plus once I get these requests finally finished I'll have no ideas what to draw afterwards. Now I'm open for anything, but not NSFW. But, if you guys are really interested in seeing that I'll think about drawing something slightly mature.
But besides NSFW, I'll do practically anything. Heck I might even do a few requests too. So please, list away ideas! c:

Right now I have a request for  wpbcrazy and  cthuldragon that I'm still working on, I apologise for keeping you two waiting for so long I've been really busy lately.
But along with these two requests, were there any other requests I was doing? I can't remember ^^'
If there was and whoever it was that made them, please let me know and remind me of what your request was. I'd really appreciate it
Again apologies for delaying requests for so long and forgetting about other requests if there were any