I have fun surprise for you all!

My schedule has room for 2 more projects this Spring, so I am offering 2 Kigurumi Pajamas on my etsy www.fanties.etsy.com
I am offering 1 design for an Espeon Kigurumi Pajama and 1 design for an Umbreon Kigurumi Pajama. It's for Spring completion!
Since I already made both these kigurumi's twice, they are improved and I can do them faster then complete new designs.

Espeon Kigurumi Pajama €350
Umbreon Kigurumi Pajama €450

Both items already include the shipping cost!
Alterations can be made, like shiny or original version, open/closed mouth and the option to choose which kind of lining you want in the hood. Pockets are included!

This is the first time I am offering Kigurumi Pajamas on Etsy, so this is also a little experiment to see if I will continue to use this feature in the future ^__^

Hello everyfur ♥

From now on I like to be more active and share more news and updates with you all. I will try to post a journal every 2 weeks or so and announce some updates/news about what I am currently doing or when my next openings are.

Sooo February!? Just 2 weeks in and what a ride it is! I have been making good progress with my Vaporeon onesie, not finished yet (which I was hoping for) but it's already looking pretty cool. I've been mainly making this awesome fleece collar for Vaporeon, and it looks really neat. Next will be the hood ♥ If you like to follow updates for this kigurumi I am making, check out my twitter post here: https://twitter.com/SuuValkyrie/sta.....88290657243140

Valentine was a thing, I have been making super cool connecting icons for people. And I am hoping to make lots more ♥ So if anyone is interested, please check em out! I am still accepting slots ♥ https://www.furaffinity.net/view/46001839/ This was also the reason the Vaporeon was a bit postponed, since I have been working many hours into these commissions. I am still not really fast as an artist, but I am hoping to find my way into that while I am practicing more art.

A big announcement is, since I am back working as an artist again. Might as well getting serious, so I've made it official. I registered my business! And I am currently brainstorming about a good name to go with for both my art and sewing. That also means a new website and changing my name on Etsy. I will still go with the name SweetSushi as an artist and here on FA. But will be using the new name for my branding. A new website will be coming too. My website sweetsushi.nl has been offline since December and I lost my code, so I had to make a new website anyway. Hope to announce my new name soon and then I can start making a logo + mascot too ♥ very excited for this!

Last but not least, for anyone that is interested to buy a Custom Kigurumi Pajama in the future. I still have 2 more kigus to finish, but I will be opening new slots this spring (probably around April) and the starting price will €400. So keep that in mind, and of course there will be payment plans ♥ As for now I am working with a 50% upfront and 50% when it's done. I am thinking about offering different plans too, but have to look into it!

Sooo that's all I think for now! Busybusy mombee! It's mostly been a challenge to balance/juggle life as a mom and artist, but I am sure it will gets better over time ^__^ I at least am very excited to be back again! I hope you are as well ♥ Until next time :D

I am currently open for special valentine commissions. Your character making a heart shaped signal or 2 connecting icons making a heart signal together.

1 character: €45
2 characters: €75

EXAMPLE L / EXAMPLE R

♥ Highly detailed headshots
♥ High resolution 1500px 300 dpi
♥ Slots taken this week done by feb 14.
♥ Any species, age, gender etc.

Please share on twitter that would really help me out! ♥ ^__^

You can fill in this form to apply for a slot ♥ ^__^

Can't wait to draw more :3

Later this week I will open for Valentine themed slots. An example is in the progress :) Can't wait to share them ❤️

Happy New Year everyone!!!

To celebrate I like to do a little give away on my twitter :) Win a free art piece like my latest icon I recently made.

Check it out here: https://twitter.com/SuuValkyrie/sta.....w25DQ&s=19

Cant wait to draw more of these cute icons <3

Good luck! ^__^

Hellooo! ♥

My commissions are currently OPEN once again! I have kept the prices unchanged. I am going to be very straight forward :O I need to pay a car bill of €600 so anything will help atm ^__^
Not interested in art atm, but still want to support my work!? Consider donating on ko-fi.com/sweetsushi or follow and retweet my work on twitter.com/SuuValkyrie

♥ PRICES 2021 ♥

Price is per character

FLAT COLOR
Headshot_________€20
Bust______________ €30
Halfbody__________€35
Fullbody__________ €45

Babyfur___________€35


FULL COLOR
Headshot_________€30 _EXAMPLE
Bust______________ €40 _EXAMPLE
Halfbody__________€50 _EXAMPLE
Fullbody__________ €60 _EXAMPLE

Bold/Simple_______€35 _EXAMPLE
Babyfur___________€50 _EXAMPLE

More information about my commissions here!

I hope these might interest you and thank you for supporting my work ♥ ^__^

Slots are filled, thank you! ^________^

OPEN for 1 Custom Onesie slot starting at €350,-
Planned for winter completion, early 2022!

Please fill in this form when interested: http://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Yle.....6T5kWbRzZd5Uvs

I will pick 1 design, I will email everyone once I have chosen for this round!

Examples: http://furaffinity.net/gallery/swee.....nesies-Hoodies

You wanted Onesies, I will make it possible! Check out the poll result here!

I will be opening them later today, more info in my next journal! Thank you all for the hype for awesome Onesies 😊 I love making these ❤️

After not noticing any interest in my hoodies, I kept wondering what DO you want me to offer. So I started a poll on my twitter and would appreciate if you all want to vote! ♥

Since it's limited to 4 options, this is what you can vote for:

1. Custom Kigurumi Pajama (Onesie)
2. Custom Hoodie
3. Custom Plushie
4. Custom Backpack

You can VOTE HERE!

Heyya all!

Workflow is going well so I have decided to accept a few hoodie slots! I just finished an onesie project which I will be uploading soon and will be starting the next one soon. Meanwhile I like to prep for new projects including a few cute hoodies.

Please take a look at my gallery to see all kind of examples Onesies and Hoodies I have made in the past!

Please only fill in this form if you want to buy a hoodie.
If you just want a quote, please email me at commission@sweetsushi.nl

Slots are limited to 2 to 3 pieces depending on complexity.
Completion for the Winter season, so perfect to keep you warm during the cold days!


♥ PRICE GUIDE ♥

A Hoodie (in your size) includes a hoodie with felt details, ears, (fur) lining in the hood, elastic cuffs, cords and pockets!
You can either pick your fursona/oc! Or one of your favorite pokemon/digimon etc.

♥ A custom request for a specific character or your oc/fursona starts with €150

The base price includes 2-3 tones, alternative front pocket color and details on the hood.
If you like extra details on the sleeves, front or back extra cost will apply.

50% deposits needs to be done now, the other 50% + shipping later.

Shipping cost (with track and trace)
- NL €6,75
- Europe €18,50
- US €29,30 (International)


♥ IMPORTANT LINKS ♥

♥ Terms of Service

♥ Convert your currency here!

I will be posting some art and sewing projects from the past 2 years. It's not much but still worth the share. So yeah keep an eye out for some updates and of course new updates and projects will follow from now on!

Update : slot is filled, thank you!

CLOSED for 1 Custom Kigurumi slot €350,-
Work around +/- 2 months

DM me on twitter.com/SuuValkyrie if interested with a reference sheet. I will pick 1 design and discuss further details for chosen project.

Examples: www.furaffinity.net/gallery/sweetsu.....139948/Onesies-Hoodies

(a note is fine too if you don't have a twitter)

Hellooo! Long time!

Good news :) I will be back soon. How long has it been, a year? Again O_O Well for a good reason, for me at least. After my last update I got pregnant of my 2nd, this time a baby girl. She was born in December and is now already 6 months old. I'm now a proud mom of 2, both my little girl and toddler are doing great.

It's time (for real now) to pick up projects again. I've read back my last update and decided I will start it off simple and start opening custom kigurumis (onesies) again. I want to get used to the work flow again and see where it gets me. I've been doing small projects here and there and made an onesie for a friend back in November right before my baby girl was born. Then all my energy was needed for my newborn. Now we are slowly getting used to our new family member and can make time for sewing again yay!

I will be reopening commissions soon, so be sure to keep an eye out for my next update for more information. You can also check my Twitter @ SuuValkyrie

Hope everyone's doing well during these weird times.

Hey guys!

Soooo I have been thinking and thinking and I really want to get back to my projects. I have been poked and getting requests for projects too, so in that way it makes me really happy there is still interest in my work. However finding the time and energy has been really challenging with a 1 year boy in your life, especially with my health condition. But nevertheless I think I have a solution! I really like to get creative again and I also really want to make you guys happy too with my creations that has been requested. There are a few projects I have in mind to work on and to keep things focused I also have a goal in mind in how many hours I can manage in a week. I really need to stick to this maximum hour limit, otherwise I am afraid I might be overdoing it (again). I think it's realistic to have 5 hours a week in mind! So that means I can work 1 hour a day which is perfect, because I can work while my little boy sleeps. As a 1 year old he still needs all my attention when he's awake, or at least I can't work on commissions that needs my full attention. I think it's pretty realistic to work 5 hours (productive hours, so actual sewing/drawing) a week, especially considering I was able to make my own wedding dress in just 2 months’ time (but tbh I was going over my limits). So second thought is what can I do in such a short (but still challenging) amount of time?

Before I get into the projects I have in mind, I like to point out that I will first finish what I still owe. For now that's a few hats, few art pieces and a few onesies. I also agreed to refund a few projects to some clients, so I can start fresh sooner and lessen the workload (depending on how fast things go, I might refund more or less). The hats and art pieces shouldn't be a problem to finish soon. The onesies on the other hand take allot more time, so I think I will try to work on that on the side while I setup my new work. The sooner I can set things up, the better I can be prepared for the future and work on new refreshing projects again.

So what projects do I have in mind?

Well there are a few things I have in mind. I am having allot of demand on my onesies. Problem is just these cost allot of time. If I like I can fill a whole year and more with just onesie projects! And yes I really appreciate the demand, but wow! They really take a toll eventually and I really like to do more than just onesies. I used to be able to make 1 or 2 onesies a month and work on other projects on the side like hats and art. With just 5 hours a week available that’s become unrealistic. So my thoughts would be I can either work on 1 onesie a month and NOTHING else or make it really exclusive (I don’t think not doing them at all is an option). I think the first thing is not going to be very fun neither profitable. I like to work on fresh things and also feel like I achieved something in a shorter time period. Also beside wanting to be creative I also need to make a living with my projects. At least to pay for my groceries and other necessities. So that also means the price of one onesie is going to be really expensive too and that’s not fun either. What are your thoughts in this?

Other projects I have in mind is plushies. I have been wanting to make those since forever and I also have some demand for them. I think plushies might give me a fresh new look in my work and with the experience that I already have it’s nice to invest in a new product. Just with my onesies I like to offer customs (based on your fursona), but I will probably also come up with my own designs that you can adopt. I already have a design in mind I want to make a prototype of. These will still be time consuming, but not as much as onesies so I can plan these better in my work schedule. In able to make quality looking plushies I like to invest in an embroidery machine, that’s really a must when it comes to plushie making.

More smaller sewing projects means I can make more people happy and I can keep working on refreshing new things (I won’t be art blocked). Beside hats, these are really just a small thing on a side I like to offer more clothing items. My ideas are capes! Hooded ones. Really cute customized capes based on fictional characters. And maybe onesies for kids/babies. I am not sure if there is demand in these, but it would be really cool to make smaller onesies. These won’t take as much time as the adult onesies, so allot cheaper too. Oh and I almost forgot, I would love to make animal bags too, either tote bags and/or backpacks, custom ones would be really cool too ♥

I don’t think I will include art in my new goals. I will continue to make art, but I will most likely work on more personal art or maybe something exclusive once in a while. More like something extra on the side! I also have way more demand in my sewing projects then my art, so this will work out better anyway. Art is also very time consuming for me. Art commissions will be available not just as much and more exclusive to keep things focused! I really lack FOCUS, so yeah that’s a thing!

Last but not least I really like to eventually invest in some merchandising. This is really more of a follow up of focusing more on sewing products and keeping art exclusive. If I do find the time and inspiration to make an awesome art piece I like to turn them into stickers, cards, buttons, pins and all that stuff! I have been wanting to make my own merch since I was in school for over 12 years ago but somewhere on the road I got drifted. (I blame the popularity of my onesies and splatoon hats :P) If people are excited to see this happen, I can try to schedule these in my work week. But for now I think my 5 hours will be quickly filled with sewing projects. So that’s something I can figure out later after I know what the new demand on sewing projects actually is.

Plenty of ideas as you can see. Yeah 5 hours really isn’t enough…ah to be a parent :P But I think with the right amount of focus and support I can do it. EVENTUALLY when my little boy is a bit older, like in school! I will be able to make more hours anyway, 10 hours would be nice! But for now I will do what I can do! It would be nice to pick things up very soon so I have an idea in mind: Patreon!

To keep things focused (that thing that is sooo important!) I like to start a Patreon. It’s been something I have been having in mind for a long time. But due to the past few years with my burn out and a baby I thought it wouldn’t be fair to start one. I think I am in a good place now to set things up now! It might also help to work on projects that you guys want to see. You can help and choose what comes next. It keeps things focused for me and to have a goal every month and to see if I meet my financial goals too. I can also add exclusive things there! And do giveaways and such. But most importantly I can keep creating and keep offering you art/products that you asked for in return. You guys are happy, I am happy, everybody is happy! With new projects also comes new investments, so I also need new equipment and I hope Patreon will help with that too. It’s really important that I have a steady support/income by the end of this year! So I like to set it up very soon and hope to achieve my first goals along the road in 2020. I will also work on branding, so business cards, website and all that stuff.

In short that's getting back to work for 5 hours a week as soon as possible, finish backlog, set up a patreon, branding and work on projects like hats, capes, plushies, bags and exlcusive things like onesies and eventually also merch. Oh and just I have all these projects in mind, doesn't mean I will do them all at the same time (that's just too much). I will see where the roads gets me and try to find my way into these different projects.

So what do you think? Do you like the new projects, my goals? Would you support me on Patreon? What tiers should I add? Do you have some advice for me and last but not least are you excited to see these new projects coming to life? (Idk how visible this journal will be, so I hope you guys won’t miss this update O_O) I really hope I can find the support I need and that I can make you guys happy with awesome projects in the progress.

I can't believe I haven't been posting an update since a year O______O time flies fast for sure.

Life as a parent has been truly great! Ziri is 14 months already, so I think it's about time to try to pick things up again and give some much needed updates!
First of all I wish you all a happy new year! 2019 was especially awesome for us, because well obviously I could spend this year first time as a mom and see my son grow to the awesome toddler he has become.
To top it all cybermaid and I have been engaged and got married during the fall season. I was so happy our son got to be involved on this beautiful day too!

What amazing things has been coming to you in 2019?
I am looking forward to what 2020 has in store for me and my little family ^_^

Big updates are coming soon, starting with a nice summary of 2019. I wasn't able to work on allot of projects, since having a baby around pretty much needed all my time and energy.
Nevertheless still got some cool projects to share with you guys and some updates what my plans are for the future.

Hope you all enjoyed the holiday season and wishing you all the best for 2020! ♥

Hello!

It's been a while since I've posted an update here. On November 5 on my due date, my little guy was born. Ever since all my energy goes into my little family and I couldn't be happier with him and my partner in my life ❤️ It's extremely exhausting for now, but I hope to pick up commission work soon once I recovered and my little me and myself get used to this new life! But for now I just like to wish everyone a Happy New Year. For me 2018 truly was a fantastic year and been blessed with so many posetive things. For the first time in years I feel peaceful and happy about what I've achieved, proud mom! Thank you all so much for all your support too ^____^

Hellooo! ♥

My commissions are OPEN and will help me to save for the baby that will come in October/November :)
So I was thinking, instead of just offer the usual full color illustrations, I might as well offer more options.
I added flat color options below and I am hoping it might help with the sales, since they are cheaper ♥
I will also add back my more simpler/bolder style for an even more affordable price :) I hope it helps!

♥ PRICES 2018 ♥

Price is per character

FLAT COLOR
Headshot_________€20
Bust______________ €30
Halfbody__________€35
Fullbody__________ €45

Babyfur___________€35


FULL COLOR
Headshot_________€30 _EXAMPLE
Bust______________ €40 _EXAMPLE
Halfbody__________€50 _EXAMPLE
Fullbody__________ €60 _EXAMPLE

Bold/Simple_______€35 _EXAMPLE
Babyfur___________€50 _EXAMPLE

Bold/Simple option is only for small cute characters like ponys/pokemon/digimon/etc and babyfurs!
More information about my commissions here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8770667/
Or Just fill in this form here to apply for a slot :)

I hope these might interest you and thank you for supporting my work ♥ ^__^

So after a really long time I finally decided to open commissions again. My art queue is getting smaller and I think I am ready for new things :)
Also with the pregnancy and upcoming parenthood we can really use it at the moment, so I am hoping to fill up some slots and save for necessitys and fun for our baby ♥

♥ PRICES 2018 ♥

Price per character (full color)
Headshot_________€30
Bust______________ €40
Halfbody__________€50
Fullbody__________ €60
+Scenery cost extra €20+ (ask)

I don't accept NSFW commissions for now.

♥ SPECIAL OFFER ♥

Since I really enjoy drawing babyfur atm, me becoming a mom and all that :D I like to promote babyfur art!
Full body babyfur art goes for €50 instead of €60, a simple toy or plush is free. Bigger, detailed or complex toys/plushes and or scenery will be charged accordingly.

♥ Just fill in this form here to apply for a slot :)
If I missed anything, just let me know!

♥ Terms of Service
♥ My Queue

Artwork comes in high resolution/quality and are fully digital colored (clean lines, colors, shades, shines and all the goodness) with a simple background.
Examples can be found in my gallery :) A work in progress will be send before completion!

Want something else? An icon, badge or a reference sheet maybe? Just email me at commission[at]sweetsushi.nl and we can discuss details! 👌😊
Accepting paypal only. (Tips are welcome to support my pregnancy ♥)
All art that I will accept now will be finished before the baby comes, I will close commissions once I feel I need more rest for me and my baby.

Please understand I still have sewing projects going on, appointments and time that goes into the little nursery room to make everything ready.
Thank you in advance for your patience and support in my work ♥ ^__^

It's been 3 weeks since my pregnancy announcement :D I can't believe how many positive feedback I received, thank you so much ♥
We've been busy with cleaning up, painting and setting up furniture etc to make our little baby's room ready. After all that (well far from done tough) and the heat I have been soo exhausted!
I barely got the chance to work on projects, especially with all my other appointments taking all my energy and time :O I also don't sleep so well and it's been like that for a while :O
Trying to work on an onesie project at the moment and hopefully it will be done soon :) I am sorry for any extra delay! I have too many sewing projects I realllly like to finish before the baby comes!

Hoping to pick up some art too, once I finished some art stuff I like to reopen my commissions again.
I desperately need to save some money, because with everything we are doing to prepare for upcoming parenthood money is getting tight.
Sooo I really hope to open some slots maybe in July and save money and buy awesome (and necessitys) things for my little guy ♥
It's been a while I officially opened, so I am hoping people are interested after all this while :O I did improve, so I can't wait to do some more arting for you all again :)

Anyways that's it for the update :) So happy with everything, hopefully less busy in the future :) ♥

Heyy guys!!!

I've been working on this personal piece in secret and VERY HAPPY to announce that I am 16 weeks PREGNANT of a little boy! ♥ ^__________^ It's finally happening, I am so thrilled ♥ ♥ ♥
Wanted to share this for a while, but we (cybermaid and I) wanted to share with family first :D I am avoiding to share this on facebook for now, since we want to tell our close friends personally and we don't see them until next Thursday!

I am just soo happpyyy! And yes this is going to change so much, I have so many plans and things I want to share. But for now I am taking it easy :) Although, we're already suppperrr busy with making the nursery room.
With everything together I am pretty proud I was still able to make quite some progress in my projects and still planning to make lots until it will become too hard for me with the pregnancy. I don't want to overdo it!

Currently I barely have a pregnancy belly, so the drawing is just that! I will make more art when my belly grows and prob commission other artist too. So any tips for artist that can do clean pregnancy art is welcome :)
Woooot so happy I am finally able to share this with you guys! Also pretty happy withthe drawing I did featuring my new girl Fiyala, since I didn't want to use Suu Valkyrie for this I made Fiyala to feature more grown up parts of myself/life♥

Hey little furs!

I have a question :D I would love to make some more baby fur art (since it's been foreverrr) and was wondering what kind of thing or theme are you interested in?
I am thinking about doing either YCH, maybe like a full drawn scene with your character in it so they can be sold multiple times not just once.
Or maybe one big (panorama) scene with multiple YCH spots, I always loved those and like to challenge myself to make a fully drawn illustration scene with cute little furs (but afraid I don't have enough interest)

What else could I do or do you like to see? Please let me know in the comments below ♥

Everything is going well for now! I am making progress with projects and that makes me happy :D
I've finished an onesie 2 days ago and I am currently in the progress of sorting out photos that I will upload later :)
I can't wait to share this one with you guys, pretty happy with the result ^_^

Also I am making a little something for myself and will upload that later this week probably with some other big announcements.
Allot is going to change, so keep up an eye out for my next journal update ♥ So hyped!

Anyway yeahh I am doing allot better! Hope you all are doing good too :)

A little update :)

Finished a hoodie commission a while ago and started an onesie project again, making very good progress with it :)
The body part is almost done and will be starting the hood part pretty soon too. Alltough wish I could be a bit quiker, but it has been very busy lately.
I am hoping to have this one done in 2 weeks, at least for Confuzzled so it can debut there ^_^ Very excited to finish this one, it's my first fox :O

Also will be uploading that finished hoodie very soon too, I just need to make some proper pictures to showcase here.
If you can't wait I've also shared some quick pics on Furry Amino (@SuuValkyrie)

For now I am going to focus on finishing this onesie :) More updates later this month, since I have some more pretty big announcements ^_^

Hai everyone!

It's been a while since my last update. I was really overwhelmed with all your kind messages in my last journal. It's been a rough time with everything together. Afterwards I didn't get any better and had a high fever. But I am finally feeling a bit better now!!! I am hoping being able to focus a bit more and check of some items on my queue. it's been hella stressfull and I am thinking about refunding some stuff when I feel I really can't do it anymore. I think a fresh start might do me well and moving forward is better for us all. I don't want to disappoint anymore and open new doors. Stuff keeps happening that are avoiding me to make progress. But also good things happen, I just need time to recover. And I will be sure to make a kick ass come back and redeem myself eventually and make awesome projects for you guys again (I mean I am still working on projects, but at a cost). Work and life have to be in balance! I really hope you guys still want me back and I hope you will still have the patience with me. Again I am really grateful and I feel blessed to have such great support in this difficult time for me.

Thank you so much!

Haii here with an update!

I haven't been very productive this month sadly. Everything went pretty well with my new schedule (and I desperately needed some positivity), making progress with a hoodie and was about to finish it and start the next eeveelution. Sadly all that got turned upside down :( I am trying not to stress about it too much, but my anxiety keeps getting back to me. Not helping with the motivation either. Anyway there is a virus going around atm, which is so weird because it's not the right time for it. Usually it's around November/December. Now it hit us all hard in February/March! The weather is ridiculously cold for this time around. I have a pretty bad resistance, so I've gotten sick pretty bad myself for about 2-3 weeks, with some ups and downs. Now the really sad part comes tough :(.....

My grandma had to transfer to a nursing home in January, she gotten worse through the years. Her mind still goes strong, but her body is in allot of pain and just couldn't take care for her self anymore. Of course we went to visit her as soon as we knew and talked about allot of things. There wasn't anything serious to worry about, she just gotten old and couldn't walk/move properly anymore. Naturally we didn't worried too much about her and she herself said she was fine and was planning to become a 100 years old! Like I said her mind was still going strong! Then a month later in March, we went to visit her again in her definitive nursing home, since the other one was just a temporary one. My grandpa called me in panic that she wasn't doing well. I called my older sister to confirm and she said I shouldn't taken it seriously, but I was still worried and we went to visit her as fast as we could. She gotten the virus too and being old and all, it got her pretty heavy. Sadly when we visited her, she was asleep and we didn't want to wake her up so she could recover quickly. The nursing home said she was doing better, then a few days before. She was still eating and sleeping properly, just gotten sick (as I was told). So after a few hours, when she was still asleep, we decided to go home and come back later when she's doing better.

Then the next morning, my older sister called me and said our grandma was doing worse. They gotten her off all her meds and started to give her morphine, she was in allot of pain! I called my boyfriend immediately (he was at work) to pick me up and visit my grandma. My family was there too, my mother, uncle, 2 older sisters, younger sister, older brother and close friends from my grandma and grandpa. We stayed there until midnight and I was just sooo tired, sick and emotional. Apparently she wasn't doing so great after all. She was dying :( She wasn't awake at all, sometimes she moved and opened her eyes. It made me wonder, if she even knew we where all there. My family said she knew tough, but in the end I just feel really bad. She survived the night, I even had a dream about her that very same night that she would wake up and had recovered completely. I barely slept that night at all tough...

The next day, around dinner time we got a call from my older sister that it happened. She was in allot of pain and they gave her something else (something to relieve the muscles?) beside the morphine. Shortly after that, she passed away with my older sisters (I believe) and grandpa at her side. We got on the road right away and went to my grandpa. That same night everything got arranged for her cremation that was held last Monday. Today we will gather with the family and friends again one more time, since we kept the cremation small and for close family only. I am pretty emotional and exhausted, I can't help but feel I wasn't there enough for my grandma. That's where my anxiety kicks in allot. But I guess, it's never easy to loose someone you love. She would have become 90 on April 1.

She was a wonderful person and while I am writing this I can't help but cry again. As a kid I lived there for a short while, about half year-a year. I have so many great memories of her from when I was little, sadly a bit less from when I was older, but in the last few years we where getting in touch again. She always showed allot of interest in me and she was proud on what I make. My grandma was pretty creative herself too, she could sew, knit, paint! I feel really connected to her in that way. Every time when I visited her she wanted to see what else I made and she totally loved my onesies/hoodies. She loved the cute animal faces :) She always pushed me to pursue designing more and not overdo it with sewing/producing so much at a time. I made her and my grandpa 2 cat dolls (she loves cats!) for their 40 years anniversary and she always talked about it and told everyone about it. I also made her 2 cat pillows, so I guess even tough I wasn't around that much (time flies) she still had a bit of me around her. She would always ask us when me and my boyfriend would marry, she really liked him. In the end I am just happy I could be in her life again in a positive way (I hope), even if it was just a bit and that she get to know her granddaughter a bit more even if it was just a little. I hope I didn't disappoint ♥ I love you! I will miss you!

Thanks for reading, I hope to feel better soon and get back into action again. I just don't want to disappoint anybody and know I do my best to make time for my projects when I can! Know you can always contact me! I am around :)