Hello all. Phloppy here again one last time for now.

And, I just wanted to say how EXTREMELY proud I am of my fiancee Tamias! And, that I feel he should likewise be VERY proud that he was able to basically stay calm enough to stare this whole scary thing of gall bladder surgery down, and to basically keep pushing forward, despite it being so much uncharted waters.

He did FANTASTIC in how he handled this whole matter. And,m if I'm being completely honest here, if it had been me, I know that even if I appeared fairly calm on the outside, in my mind, I would have been quite scared.

So, yes, believe me, I CERTAINLY can understand and appreciate how my fiancee, or anyone else could end up feeling in such a situation.

But, given how bad the condition was starting to get, it turns out that there just really wasn't other choice in the matter anyway.

Still, It's not like knowing that automatically can magically take away every last bit of fear a person can have over going under the knife.

Since leaving Philly and moving in with Tamias back in August 2016, I myself had a surgery of another sort that I was sorely needing on my sinuses to correct a deviated septum.

It marked the first ever time in my life I ever had a surgery.

And, it definitely is a bit of a bizarre feeling thing to go under anesthesia, given how time feels like what they refer to in movie editing as a "jump cut" edit.

Where, one split second, you're in the operating room. next thing you know, you come to in a completely different area of the hospital after the surgical process is over with, scratching your head and thinking to yourself things like "Where Am I?", or "How long was i out for?" and so forth.

Well, all that aside, Tamias did it. And, believe me when I tell you that seeing him back home again is a sight for sore bunny eyes like mine.

Things just were not the same around here without him. And, I still wish that what happened to Tamias never happened in the first place.

But, at this point, it is what it is. Nothing more to say about that part.

In closing... A HUGE WELCOME HOME to Tamias.


And so, like they once said in the 1984 movie Ghostbusters...

Hello every fuzzy floofer. This is Phloppy Bunny here (Tamias's fiancee) with some bad news.

Tamias has been in the hospital for the past 3 days, and had to have surgery to remove his gall bladder.

He had a total of TWENTY gall stones, the gall bladder was very inflamed, and was starting to get gangrene.

So, yes... there's ZERO question about it, his gall bladder HAD to come it. Otherwise, It's possible if it was left unchecked for too long, he might not have survived.


On his first night of hospital stay, I was fortunate enough to have the hospital let me stay with him all night long, and into the next morning in my efforts to try to quell his fears and be there for him as his soul mate as best I could.

Last night marked the first time i had a proper sleep since this happened. Because, for nearly about the first 48 hours after things began, and me spending the night with him at the hospital, I got barely a wink of sleep.

Of course, it doesn't exactly help matters that I normally have bad sleep habits anyway.


But, anyway, yes. For about the first nearly 48 hours after these matters started happening, I had maybe like about barely 4 and half hours of sleep in the first roughly 48 hours.

And, I have to say that I'm feeling VERY frustrated that something like this happened to someone as wonderful as Tamias is.


He really IS my EVERYTHING in this entire world. And, I really could not imagine how miserable my life would feel if I didn't have him in my life anymore.

Don't get me wrong here. Tamias IS of course very much alive. And he IS recuperating. But, there is also follow-up processes that they have to put him through now after removing his gall bladder.


Well, actually, they removed most of it, btw. Not quite all. But, the point is, they have to make sure that things in that area inside of him are draining properly.

They talked about maybe putting a stent in, and other stuff.


Later today, I'll go see him at the hospital again. And, I was pretty pissed at Tamias's dad for not letting me stay an additional 15 minutes longer (until 10PM last night) when we visited Tamias at the hospital.

His dad wouldn't understand since he's not the one in a long term relationship with Tamias. *points to myself* I AM!!!

But, because his dad was my ride, I had no choice but to listen to Baby Boomer guy, and leave with him to head back home last night.


On a side note here, I first mulled over whether or not I wanted to write about this matter here in Tamias's journal.

A couple of reasons why I say that...


First of all, when compared to certain other furry art sites I could name, I REALLY have come to despise this place, many of It's users, and the whole craptacular way it is all ran by one purple scalie egomaniac, and his cult of simps, cucks, white knights, and other shameless butt kissers.

Second of all... like many furries, both Tamias and I have our share of adversaries in this fandom of so-called "loving, tolerant, accepting" lovers of cute animal characters.


So, I do have to believe that furs like that might actually even derive some sort of sick, twisted, tolly-lulzy pleasure from hearing that the guy I love has been in VERY poor health as of late, and has been spending recent days in the hospital.

I have been writing about this matter a little bit elsewhere, off of FA, on Tamias's other online fronts... As well as on my own journal that exists on another furry art website that I will not be naming here.


The real point here though is that as I said, Tamias is in the hospital, he had most of his gall bladder removed, and is going to have more follow-up process done, including more surgery today, if I'm not mistaken.

So, for any furs that GENUINELY happen to ACTUALLY care about Tamias FOR REAL... and, NOT about Tamias's furry art drawing skills, or his fursuit, or even about Tamias's fursona, but about the ACTUAL human being behind Tamias, I just wanted to let you know of these matters going on with Tamias.


It's just not the same around this house without Tamias in it. And, these matters that have happened have slowly started putting me in a pretty bad place in my mind as of late.


It was made all the worse for me when I thought of this sad scene from an old animated movie that perhaps bears some small similarity to the things going on for me and Tamias right now...

After 20 some odd years of being saddled by a mountain of student loan debt, I am effing free!!!! Due to the long period of time of being on an income based repayment plan the Biden-Harris administration has fogiven my student loans. I now owe nothing! Nadda! Zero! Jack ditty squat! I feel like I've been released from prison right now. FREE AT LAST!!!!!!

In case the tornados and severe storms that hit my area and rolled across much of Michigan last night made National Headlines. My household and I are okay. Also my home is unscathed.

For those that follow me on Twitter, please be aware that Twitter is officially no more. Instead it is now simply called X. As such my Twitter presence is now my presence on X.

I could go on a looooong winded rant about something I noticed today. Its an over arching theme of "Why are people saying hateful things about Website A? It saddens me, I'm sick and tired of it, and needs to stop....but in that same breath wishing death and destruction to Websites B,C,and D and all their staff and users" But instead I'm gonna give some advice. When you claim that you are sick and tired of something and wish upon the star with all your heart for it to stop, you are proclaiming to others who see and hear your words that you will live by the words you speak. In other words, you are claiming to put your money where your mouth is. Now put your money where your mouth is, pal! Otherwise, your words means nothing because you will have demonstrated that you are nothing more than a hypocrite, one of the seven deadly sins that all human beings, including you, me, and every person alive, are guilty of to some degree.

Your words, folks. Work everyday and every moment to live by them. The world would be allot better place than it is now if we put some effort in living by our words.

In light of the recent updates to the rules here on FA, I want to let you know that I am also on Ink Bunny.

https://inkbunny.net/tamiasthechipmunk

I strongly suggest that you follow me there as well because given this latest situation and past issues with FA, I have considered Ink Bunny the primary home base of my furry presence for over a year so far.

Also because of these latest rule updates and Tamias the Chipmunk being small in stature and therefore at risk of being misjudged by moderators as an under age character I am no longer going to post NSFW art of my character on Fur Affinity. I'll continue posting PG art of him here on fA. But from this point on you WILL need to head to my Ink Bunny to see future NSFW chipmunk cheekiness.

I will keep existing NSFW art of my character posted on my FA. So if you have faved the existing NSFW art of Tamias, you have no worries...for the time being. But i urg you to download copies of faved art before June 7th when the rule updates come into effect and are enforced. After June 7th I can no longer guarantee the NSFW art of Tamias remaining up. This is because if any of my NSFW art is taken down I will delete the remaining NSFW art of Tamias from FA.

Amy questions? Private Message me or leave comments below.

Due to the ambiguity of Fur Affinity's update to their "No Minors engaged in NSFW" rule and the fact my fursona is short in stature...and still no clear addressing of how short characters will be handled by FA staff, I will no longer post NSFW art involving Tamias the Chipmunk here on FA until further notice. All future NSFW art involving my character will be posted exclusively on my Ink Bunny gallery. So I suggest following me there.

I have a few choice words about this cluster f*ck mess and how unessecery it is. But that would be a one way ticket to being reprimanded by the staff here.

I will instead say once again, please follow my furry front on Ink Bunny as that has been my primary furry front for over a year now. If you don't like the fact that Ink Bunny allows cub art you can use their keyword filter feature to block that content out.

My Ink Bunny gallery: https://inkbunny.net/tamiasthechipmunk

Due to some stupid BS issue I ran into on Facebook, I am planning to transition my social media front to my Twitter presence. The only thing I'm waiting for is long form tweets to be implimented on Twitter which should happen sometime next month. The moment that happens I will make the transition.

So what this means for any of you that follow my social media front is this. I will still maintain Facebook messenger and my Facebook groups. However to see my social media content after the transition, you WILL need to follow me on Twitter tamiaschipmunk.

Marry Christmas to all of you. Peace, Joy, and Everlasting love to you all.

Anybody uses a Keurige machine? I'm thinking of getting one to negate the need to go to a coffee shop since I am a night person and none of my coffee shops are open during my active hours. I'm open to input and suggestions and most of all how K cups taste. I like lattes and mochas and drink coffee once every two weeks at most. I also like hot chocolates and hot tea.

Earlier today, after 70 years on the throne, her majesty, Queen Elizabeth II has past away. With multiple generations growing up with her and her long illustrious reign as a world leader, she will be sorely missed. To me the queen reminded me of my grandmother. Much of her dignified yet witty personality inspired one of the most important characters cast in the Chipmunk Kingdom storyline, the reigning monarch of the Chipmunk Kingdom, Queen Lewisa. To my friends and followers who live in the UK, the realm, and nations of the Commonwealth, and to the Royal Family, I give my deepest condolences. Hopefully the Queen's son, now King Charles III will turn out to be a competent monarch. I wish the British people and all the people of the Realm and Commonwealth the best of luck as you transition into a new era of your respective histories

Rest in Peace Queen Elizabeth II!

Long live Charles III!

If I was a billionaire, I'd start a streaming service dedicated solely to animation. What Netflix and the newly formed Discovery Warner is doing to animated shows and to the animators that busted ass to produce said shows is Grade A, USDA certified bullshit.

*Phew!* Tamias the Chipmunk's reset story is going well and its proofing to be allot of fun to write so far. Its keeping me out of trouble since doing this project is requiring all hands on deck. That's why I've been fairly quiet on all fronts except Facebook. But more importantly this story is turning out to be a means to hash out my own internal flaws and open the door to be a better person. In fact there is what I call a life lesson bomb waiting for Tamias. Striking Tamias's squarely in his weaknesses with maximum effect when I light the fuse, I WILL push my fursona to his breaking point. No holding back. But its something he needs and I need as well. This will steer him in a direction he needs to go to become the cheeky loving chipmunk he is and hopefully it will allow me set aside my own ego and deal with my own flaws and come out the other side a better person. I know for a fact writing that part of the story will be very taxing on my own emotions since Tamias has written into him the same flaws that are in me IRL. So I'll need to face the music on my own issues and hash things out internally in order for me to pull this story off in the way I'm hoping for.

Also while I'm on the horn here, this story is turning out to be a far...FAR....bigger project than I had anticipated. I am 42 chapters into this and I still have a long way to go before I'm in any position to steer the story to any kind of resolution. Hell I still have more elements of the Chipmunk Kingdom lore to include before I'm ready to move the plot forward and light the use on the life lesson bomb.

988 will be like "911" but for a dire mental health energencies such as suicide ideation, severe depression, etc. Mental Health care in the USA still has a long ways to go before its up to satisfactory standards. But atleast this will be a step in the right direction. Service starts 7/19/2022 from what I heard.

The reset of my fursona and his backstory has been calling upon my attention, that would otherwise be going into my social media fronts. I don't mind at all because writing stories is allot better on my emotional health than worrying myself sick over politics, toxic content, and dramas I have no control over.

The thing is I admit that I let things get to me a little too much. I have a hard time dealing with anxiety. I have empathy to a point that I wonder if its to a fault sometimes. So the biggest source of anger for me is other human beings failing to put any effort into pulling themselves back into the right direction even when they know they are straying off the path and just seem to not care. But regardless the justifications, anger and other negative emotions is still misguided compassion. That's a life long fault I still need to work on.

I guess one of the ways I can work on that fault is to simply pull back and limit my doses of social media, just like how I stop playing a very hard video game the moment I feel gamer rage starting to build up. Thing is social media for all the good it offers has a huge fundamental flaw. It amplifies toxicity to a point that it's too easy to get wrapped up in it making it the only thing one sees, nothing beyond that. Social media is a mind fuck that turns a person into an emotional trainwreck further adding to the toxicity.

So that in mind and given the emmense amount of work on my plate, plus the continuing firestorm of charged emotions steming from rather shitty political events that happened over the past few days. I'm going to focus more inward on my fursona and his world more so than I have been doing before. That means scaling back my social media fronts indefinitely to free up the devotion for the task at hand and to stem the flow of negativity back down to more healthy levels I can deal with.

I won't stop caring of course. Basic human rights including a woman's right to choose is among my core socio-political beliefs. But pinning hopes on old men on either side of the aisle will always and forever lead to disappointment because the only constituents they care about are their biggest donors. So there is not much that can be done other than voting out corrupt politicians in favor of a new set of corrupt politicians. The point is change always comes from the outside, never from the status quo. Until change from the outside happens here in the USA, perhaps an Earth shaking uprising or somthing, ....well we are stuck with old men that don't care.

In the meantime, I'll still talk to friends and my chat groups. I'll still put up posts from time to time. But I'm taking this as a bit of a call from the fates to go back to focusing inward by working on my character's and their worlds and have fun along the way instead of getting worked up over issues I have no power to have any effect on.

But the bright side is Tamias the Chipmunk and his back story will be better than before. He and his older brother, Jerry Lee have been with me for over 30 years. They deserve to have the best storyline and character development I can provide. No better time than now to have fun making that happen.

Once I complete the story or stories I'm working on which will take quite awhile since allot of ground needs to be covered, you will see them posted a chapter at a time on my Ink Bunny and Fur Affinity. Do stay tuned to those fronts for further developments.

I will be resetting and rewriting my fursona character, back story and the world he exists in to not include any characters made by others. Though my character will still be able to interact with other people's characters rather its RP, stories, and ... other interactions furries love to do hehehe 😉. After all Tamias the Chipmunk is my furry character. However interactions with outside characters will be rendered non-cannon or placed in alternate universes. Only Phloppy Bunny, my fiancee's fursona, will remain as part of Tamias's storyline. He of course will be cast as my character's mate for obvious reasons.

Thing is I had included OC's, fursonas, and characters belonging to friends and trusted individuals into Tamias's storyline and world as a nice way to make people I care about feel more included into the mix. But after dealing with bouts of drama resulting in the loss of friends over time, their characters had to be removed from the storyline leaving gaping holes that at this point are simply too much to fill. So instead of trying to fill those holes, the better and cleaner option is to wipe the slate clean and start over, this time with a fully self contained storytine providing Tamias with all of the support characters and antagonists he needs for for good story telling and character development.

I now have a blank slate to play with starting from the moment Norman Lee was put down into Cryogenic Stasis, destined to reawaken as Tamias the Chipmunk. I already have a tentative line up of support characters to put on Tamias's side. First up is my fiancee's fursona cast as Tamias's mate. That will add the romance element. Love can be a very powerful motivator to expand one's horizons in one hell of a hurry. In addition, is Stripes, a previous chipmunk Fursona who was the Guardian of the Chipmunk Kingdom between Jerry Lee's arc and Tamias's arc, Moving Stripes later down the timeline to overlap Tamias's arc will provide Tamias a great teacher helping him to regain his chipmunk footings post-stasis. Next is a chipmunk intellect named Delphi. (Which I need to do a new drawing of since Delphi has been retired a long time ago.) Bringing him out of retirement will give Tamias a care taker and a way to quickly gain higher knowledge after recovering from stasis. Then there is Lewisa, the Greatest monarch in Chipmunk Kingdom history. Currently she is in a state of limbo. But if I go through with the idea that she used some kind of magic to remain alive as she awaits Jerry lee's return to the Chipmunk Kingdom (A way to explain away her pink fur and bright red hair), then she would be present to instill leadership skills into Tamias. Last but certainly not least is a chipmunk named Maz. He would be the aging chipmunk cheiftain who would serve as a spiritual mentor to help Tamias on his way to taking his place as the Chipmunk Cheiftain.

I have got a metric ass ton of work to do to get things rolling again post-reset. But if I can pull this off Tamias the Chipmunk is going to be even better than his pre-reset iteration not to mention the storyline he's in will be allot better and far more coherent. This is something I am looking forward to working on.

Stay tuned.....

Any of you fuzz butts that builds avatars for Second Life. I have a question for you all. I'm currently building Bri the Raccoon, my second fursona, as a custom one-off avatar, He is not built on existing parts. I'm not using existing clothing. He is built from the ground up, totally from scratch. I plan to use the Bento rig to rig Bri up. The model is done, textured, and ready to be rigged up. But since this is my first crack at building a custom one-off avatar, I need some help as to tools to go with. Bento Buddy seems like its fairly easy to use, but tutorials are kind of lacking. Avastar seems to have more tutorials but seems a bit more complicated to use. Avatar Work Bench is a blender file that comes with the parts and rigging needed. But it seems like everything has to be done manually making it the most prone to mistakes being made and little tutorials out there to help, but might be good at teaching me the fundamentals. So these three choices sit before me. So to those out there that can build avatars for second life, I'm wide open to recommendations.

Okay folks. I know I've been very quiet as of late. That is because I have been devoting 100% of my energy to the biggest and most ambitious project I have ever tackled bar none. That would be building Bri the Raccoon, my second fursona, as a 3D character with the end goal of becoming custom one-off avatar for Second Life and possibly VRChat. Included are links to sneak peaks of what this chipmunk is brewing. This is my first serious dive into 3D other than a few objects I created for use in Second Life years ago. I have busted major ass and learned allot so far. I still have quite a distance between me and the finish line. Namely I need to design clothing for Bri, rig him up along with weight painting, and do what ever else that needs to be done to make him work in Second Life and VR chat. To those who do 3D modeling and animation for a living, I solute you all. And now for the links to the sneak peaks.

Bri front view: https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.ne.....c_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=00_AT-AMi5Vmup7_tNPC-D05bUd3oZAXf-aND_wRdboOhOvNA&oe=629833B8

Bri Back View: https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.ne.....c_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=00_AT9EKSw5L5cBRhqoRTqK7cIWwOKsekHzddOXVLhRNaqWKg&oe=62974264

Okay folk. I might have found 3d software that might work for me. It's a fork of Blender called Bforartists. Long story short, it is Blender and does everything Blender can do from start to finish. But it has a much easier user interface I can wrap my mind around. Still as powerful as something like Blender and this fork of it I'm trying out is, it will take time to learn it and get to a point where I can do something cool with it. My short term goal is to do mesh objects for use in Second Life. But my end goal is to recreate Tamias the Chipmunk and Bri the Raccoon as 3-D characters for use in both Second Life and VR Chat.

If the supreme court can second guess itself on abortion rights, who's to say they would not second guess themselves on same sex marriage and other LGBT rights. As an LGBT in a same sex relationship, that thought scares the hell out of me.

"I've let monsters (aka Toxic individuals) into my life before. It breaks my heart." says a well known furry youtuber.

Trust me, dude. You are NOT alone on that. I've done that. Others have done that. It's a common mistake us humans are liable of making. It's not necceserly soly because of being nieve, dumb, stupid, gullible, etc. Though such flaws can play a factor on those that don't keep a sharp mind when it comes to dealing with life and people in general. It's because atleast for those like me who tend to wear our hearts on the outside, aka have alot of empathy, it's easy to be taken advantage of. I know this to be a fact because I'm not proud to say I've been burned, used, and steped on before by toxic people. You bet your sweet ass it does hurt.

It brings up a problem for people that have open hearts. We want to care. Given how austere the world is especially nowadays, compassion, empathy, in otherwords actually giving a shit is a precious rare commodity that just about every human being on the planet desperately needs right now. But there is just not enough of it to go around.

That lack of empathy leaves people alone with what ever inner demons that eats away at them. A person that is made to feel like nobody cares eventually becomes the very things that tormented them in the first place. Hell, some are so damage by careless people that even all the care in the world they receive at long last becomes too little, too late, and the person degrades into a broken soul anyway.

Empathetic people are empathetic because, often times, they themselves have bore the brunt of a careless unfair world, and thus know full well how much hurt it can cause. They don't want others to experience that level of pain. They don't want others to feel alone. They want to do want they can to make sure others feel valid.

So empathetic people tend to reach out. They give second, third, fourth, fifth.....and so on....chances to transgressors, even if transgressors turn out to be careless, abusive, toxic people that should have NEVER been welcomed in the first damn place. This is why in too many instances, empathetic people tend to have the unfortunate luck of so-called friends turning out to be toxic people wreaking havoc on empathetic people and their social circles.

Now I could simply say, "Well you just need to grow a thick hide and just block the edglords and douchbages of the world and not invite anymore in your life ever again." In fact I have said this time and again.... so many times I feel like posting a sound clip of me saying those words and have the clip set on repeat. Why? Because that is what you should do!

But for those like me who are empathetic, I acknowledge its not that easy. Again you don't want others to feel the loneliness and the hurt that goes along with being yet another one the world doesn't gives a shit about no matter how much you need a friend let alone a reassuring hand on the shoulder. In my case when I'm forced to block, ban, eject, kick, a person out of my life over toxicity, it hurts me more so than the person I'm blocking and/or booting. I also hate having to be weary of those I first meet, having to keep them at arms length until I know for certain they can be trusted. I hate having my hand forced in these ways, because I feel like I'm putting the person I'm ejecting or not trusting right away, in a place that I myself dread being in.

But even though as hard it is for empathetic people not to immediately welcome anybody with open arms until they prove trust worthiness and be quick to eject toxic individuals, a cold hard truth needs to be understood here. Yes it seems to be a border line instinct to be caring, forgiving, to make others around you feel like they matter, and spare them the hurt you may have felt in your own life.

But that cold hard truth is the person that you need to show the most empathy to is YOURSELF! You need to have enough of a thick hide and enough resolve to weed out toxic people for YOUR OWN GOOD. Otherwise if you allow youself to be stepped on by toxic people enough times, you will eventually become the very toxicity that you have sacrificed yourself trying with all your heart and soul to save others from.

Bottom line, yes by all means be empathetic! The world needs more of that and less austerity. But you also need to be empathetic to yourself, your tender heart, your soul by weeding out people that take advantage of you. It's called "Tough Love" for a reason.

Here in a few days I should have new artwork featuring Tod and Bri done. For those that love cuddles and snuggles, this one will make ya shower heart emotes.

Phloppy here making a rare "one off" appearance here on my chippy fiancee's journal just in time for Easter.


Well, though I'm not really much of a religious minded kind of guy deep down... for what It's worth to everyone, I do sincerely hope your Easter is a good one.

In other words, Happy Easter, every fuzzie.


I don't have any colored eggs or chocolate bunnies to give anyone. But, in lieu of those things, here's something else Easter related for you...




I had rediscovered this classic holiday special again yesterday. Seen it a number of times through the 1970s, and into the 1980s.

But, I hadn't seen it in some decades prior to this. So, it was REALLY great to rediscover this old school holiday TV classic.


With their stop motion animation process which they called "Animagic", Rankin Bass was among the top studios for holiday TV specials each and every year for so many years.

Probably their best known one remains Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. That one was, and still is, always the beloved holiday TV classic for so many decades by now.


This one, however, (Here comes Peter cottontail) I think may have started to fall into a bit of obscurity after all these years (It was originally released in 1971). But, it still is great.

And, for the voice of Peter Cottontail, that's Casey Kasem (Who played the voice of Shaggy from Scooby Doo for literally decades).


*Sighs* I tell ya' youngster kiddo furs out there... modern day TV shows just do NOT have the same kind of charm they once had in the 1970s, 80s, and roughly about the first half of the 90s.

And, I guess It's sort of fitting how one of the songs sung in this holiday special is "If I could only get back to yesterday".


My original plan was to try to find some way or other of streaming this. But, let's just say that my plan was thwarted due to lack of audio support under Linux for the method in which I was trying to stream it.

Ugh! *facepalms* Sometimes, I kind of think that we Linux users get a bit of a raw deal at times compared to the mindless sheep masses who, for whatever reason, can never seem to get enough of running Windows.


Meh. *Shrugs* Well, I did give it my absolute best to try to work around the audio issue shortcoming and find a fix. But, suffice to say, the outcome was not what I had hoped on that.

But, using the link above, you can still watch it on your own schedule through the Tubes of You (YouTube).


Well, until next time, take care all... and, don't forget that the best sales deals on Easter candy and decorations won't be until the days immediately following Easter.


(In case your the type that like me, loves a good deep sale price discount on things).

Its been a fairly quiet two days for me. During that time I was contemplating on my own past tribulations... not in a bad way like stewing in my juices or anything negative. Its more like just taking stock on things and pulling out any valuable lessons that need to be learned. I just want to say that as a person that has had life knock me on my ass more than once, and going through a tragic event in my family that came very close to destroying me as a person, I just want to say to those that have been knocked on their asses by soul crushing set backs but managed to find it in themselves to get back up to remain decent human beings and hold on to the will to live, I feel for all of you and you have my respect.

I have a very good idea of how hard it is to get back up. Getting through the ordeal of mother's stroke, seeing her get beat down by it, and the nightmare that it was for myself and my dad, not to mention the seismic life changes that comes along with such hellish events... It was not easy. Not at all. That mess came within a hair's breath of destroying me as a viable human being. Even with help and support from friends and especially my fiancee, (My fiancee has my eternal gratitude for coming into my life when he did and giving me reason to pull myself back together after all was said and done with.) it still took every last once of inner strength to get back up, let alone hold on to sanity.

Of course I did get back up and found it in myself to continue living life. After all I have my one and only Phloppy Bunny as my reason to keep myself together and live life. He means everything to me. ...EVERYTHING!!! So I am in a better state of mind. Even so, I still have allot of work to do to my own emotional and mental health before I can consider myself "healed". Note the quotation marks as one does not come out of any life changing events, good or bad, as the same person. I know that because I am not exactly the same as I once was before mother had her stroke 8 years ago. I'm not the same as I once was before 2020 took a shit on me as it did on everybody on the planet, complete with my fiancee and I getting hit by a miserable case of Covid. (I was scared to lose my fiancee to the virus since he has existing breathing problems as it is.) I'm not the same as once was before I came within a bleeding edge of losing my dad to a horrible automobile accident at the end of 2020. I'm not the same person as I was before, March of last year when my mother finally passed away from a case of aspiration induced pneumonia while my dad and I were at her bedside holding her hands. No I'm not exactly as I once was before all of that

I'm sure that I will change and evolve, hopefully for the better as life will surely keep testing me to my limits and teaching me lessons I need to learn as it has been doing for the past decade and for as long as I can remember. Life is hard. Its not fair. Never has been and never will be. But life is only good when you find it within yourself to continue fighting and clawing for every inch of process you can make in addition to making it through tough times. If I had said "fuck it" and gave up the fight, I would not have my fiancee. I would not have the good times we shared together. I would not have the honor and unbridled joy giving him the love he needs and DESERVES. I would not have enjoyed the little rewards life does give, like going to the furry conventions we attended. We would not have been able to enjoy wonderful places like the boardwalk, amusement piers, and beaches in Wildwood, NU. I would not have been able to invest in a phenomenal, world changing company called Tesla nor stand a very good chance to reap the profits from said investment when I hit retirement age. I would not have the friends I do have. Hell, I would not even be here writing this post at all, if I had given up on myself and life.

It took everything I could muster and allot more, to get through the hell I endured. But I did make it through all that crap without breaking. Did I came close to losing the fight and slip away into oblivion when it comes to being a viable human being? Oh you bet your sweet ass I came that close. Like I said even now, I still consider myself a work in progress. But thankfully I did not go over that point of no return. I will fight like hell to prevent myself from being pushed even remotely close to that point ever again! I have the love of my life and the good that came along with him coming into my life as a reward for holding on and keeping at it. Even though Phloppy is as close of a person to my heart as any human being could ever possibly get, even he will never be able to fully grasp how elated I am for the good he brought into my life and being the reason I didn't give up and continuing to live.

The point of all of this is, its hard for anybody in or have been in soul crushing situations like what I have been through or even worse. Its hard. Its very VERY hard. I have seen people flat out give up and degenerate into products of their own misery and self pity because they either lacked the inner strength needed to make it to the other side of hell or life was simply way too hard for even a person of the strongest character. I can't blame them because of how close I came to throwing in the towel myself. So if you have been through tribulation and came out of it still a decent human being... or even if you are going through hell as I speak and are still holding on and refusing to give up on yourself and life in general, I feel for you and you have my respect. Regardless of who you are, what your beliefs and view points may be, you are a valid person. You are a human being! If there is anything that needs to be learned, we are all born to bleed fighting to succeed. We are built to endure what life throws at us.

Stay strong and refuse the fates the satisfaction of breaking you. Do that much, you will see good in life. Big or small, good is good, and always worth the hell one has to endure to get that good.