:3

there will be more later!

Fa finally added support for writers in the new update

For some reason this isn't considered a big deal to them given it wasn't highlighted beyond being added

uwu

A lot of stuff in my mind has changed

and genuinely i feel comfortable going back to being all fours again with Emberflame

...

it feels comfy uvu

it feels right...

Hi, had one of the worst weeks of my life recently.

Some of it is personal and will not be gone into. But the personal stuff was a desperately needed reality check and made me realize, damn I really did become a narcissist. It sucks. I thought I was better than that. (hah.)

Thankfully some of my closest friends came through to help me, one got me a few books to read which I have, and I've been practicing being better at empathy, communicating, and some other stuff. Still very much a WIP for me though. It's gonna take a long time. But people say its been getting better, so there's that.

Got into a car accident. Some jackass decided to reverse into me despite me blaring my horn and having stopped well behind them. Thankfully it happened at my condo so the cameras got it all and insurance says i ain't liable

Insurance still went up because new car is actually worth something, 2024 kia forte, thanks in part to my grandmother bless her heart.

Money is on fire p-much. July was full of bills and then this shit. Don't expect too much art rn. real life takes precedence.

I'd ask for help but I can pay for shit, just out of my savings, which i'd rather not but I don't want to get money from people when i don't 'need' it. Especially with how much others need help rn that don't have the money.

Shit sucks. But life goes on. I will keep going.

I will do better.

Still living the afterglow of finding my true self, but I already have so much to share!

lewd! yeah!

---

So like, its a lot.

I spent a lot of last night crying without understanding why, so many repressed emotions came flooding out.

But my mind, my spirit, my soul... is free.

Mental barriers keep falling around me as I understand things I never did before.

My aversion to like, penis, feels like its practically gone.

I'm proud to feel just... slutty! Ahahaha.

I want to be called mommy. I want people to know and remember me as a big soft fluffy vixen that stole their heart with love and fun.

I am proud of myself. No longer tied down by mental woes and worries.

My body may be human, and my physical gender male.

But... I am free where it matters.

I know who and what I am

I never want to lose myself again

There's no putting this back in the box. I'm even more unleashed, wild, and kinky than ever baby!~

im just gonna copy paste what i said from discord tl;dr at the bottom


it is time to make something public

For years I've introspected, dissecting my brain and mind to learn how I tick.

We all know this, but very recently a possibility I never gave much credence to, might actually be the truth

I am, testing? finding out? trying???

The idea i'm trans and therian

I always considered such, for me personally, to be delusions.

I am human. I'm a guy.

But now, its not so clear.

My spirit is a vixen. Wild, free, caring, tricky.

While I care not what my genitals are, there is something irrepressible now about me that I can't deny.

Maybe I've simply reincarnated? If you believe in such.

Perhaps once I was what I feel I am

While my physical self is what it is, is that truly me, in spirit?

One could argue, "Ember you've been using a female kitsune as a sona for years"

But it never hit the same way it is right now, y'know.

I worry i'll be just another lusty vixen, another common practicioner of such.

But is that really wrong even if it doescome true? To deny oneself for the sake of not being even partially a stereotype?

"Ember why are you telling everyone"

Cause otherwise its gonna not be well-known and i'll keep having people asking me what happen months later LMAO

Also i'm just loud, i like being loud, loudness is my truth

For all the changing I do, I always sought the truth of my being

And now i am confronted with the strongest revelation yet. One that I dismissed so many times, not wanting to find out I was wrong and make an even bigger fuss than usual for nothing.

But now it feels so certain. So undeniable.

My physical self may be human, but my spirit is undeniably fox.

So I choose to believe in it. Even if it may come off as a delusion to some.

The truth is uncaring all the same. It simply is.

so yes, call me a girl

Call me a vixen even

---

tl;dr

Therian and Trans.

so i played PMC Promiscuity, great game btw, probably can't link it here but just go find it on steam its a VN

first VN i've ever played properly btw, and i only knew about it because of a certain GABRIEL ULTRAKILL and his appearance there, based af btw



Anyways

I now understand mommy kink far better than I ever thought I would and I can never go back

Ember my beloved, sorry Aio.

I made mine myself-

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11155655/

Hey the foxxo that is soft that I love to bits needs some monetary assistance

plus you get to see chubby dragon

like best deal ever!

blblbl Emberflame stuff

---

Rather than give the usual schpeal i'll just get to the point

Rather than continuing to be forever mercurial with Emberflame, I've made a list of sorts of her consistent traits from all the changes, added a couple simple ones, and bam done

It's also occurred to me that she really is pretty simple overall and trying to make her more complicated only makes my issues worse, so- yeah

Simple fox with surprisingly normal goals xd

Kitsune
6'3''
Tiara, scarf, blue shirt
Fire magic
Overall appearance
Nine tails
Family members
Empath
Contact-based magic
Hammerspace
Using fat stores as extra mana
Personality
Mage/ghost hands
Druid magic
Able to talk to animals
Shapeshifting

copy pasting from deescord server

Emberflame Foxheart — Yesterday at 6:34 PM
she can speak with animals, some shapeshifting, a druidic pyromancer
Emberflame Foxheart — Yesterday at 6:34 PM
she's got a big heart, a bigger gut, she doesn't really fight
Emberflame Foxheart — Yesterday at 6:35 PM
she has some wanderlust
Emberflame Foxheart — Yesterday at 6:36 PM
obviously voracious
Emberflame Foxheart — Yesterday at 6:37 PM
i like to imagine she's like, surprisingly normal outside of her social ettiquette

she's not some grand hero or evil villain or anything

She's just herself
Emberflame Foxheart — Yesterday at 6:39 PM
ohj right uh
her robes are formal wear, her shirt is casual
Emberflame Foxheart — Yesterday at 6:42 PM
uhma
she wears her scarf under her neck fluff
best of both worlds
Emberflame Foxheart — Yesterday at 6:44 PM
oh right uh
i like to imagine of her quirks is the whole pretend queen thing

usually whatever her current fixation is

something something queen of [verb] [noun]

or just noun or just verb




blblbl

so yeah, gonna try to settle with this instead of constantly reinventing the wheel 'w'

lmao upload time

It has been so many years that I've lost count, but my identity both irl and online are finally whole again.

This changes basically nothing for most people, but for my mentality it is a much needed relief.

I am Ember, Ember is I. This ain't no persona shit.

It is simply me with yin and yang.

---

For those who need to know more.

I have embraced the fact I'm cringe and a self-insert.

While also finally ending a bunch of mental gymnastics about how Emberflame isn't me entirely.

She is the Yang to my Yin. We are two halves of the same coin.

I am whole again.

It seems that after 7 years or so of dormancy, Emberflame has re-manifested as a Tulpa in my brain

My friends insist this is objectively a good thing

But now i have her as a voice in my brain council oh lord

snrk

You remember that lore stuff I posted recently

no you don't

insert gif of Mr Krabs using a remote to suck the tv memories out

I am REINSTALLING THE LORE

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

mostly because while its fun to theorize all kinds of grand scale stuff

writing it fucking sucks and considering the way i'm taking my cast now i'll be making it more mundane while keeping some magic and such

Anything possibly mentioning previous lore that doesn't exist except this journal doesn't exist.

got it? ok awesome

i also heavily updated Ember's bio so that's there too

"Ember you change this shit all the time."

lookwritingishardman

Silly AI joke aside.

I did some soul searching lately with the help of and due to some friends.

I've worked on Emberflame more, culled some of the outlying stuff I only kept around because its either always been there or was just added because of a mood

I guess the best way to put it, as my friend Emu put it

"Emberflame is on ADHD meds now."

(not literally but the point is she's a lot calmer and more thoughtful as the most important point. It's a pretty major difference from the tons of energy impulsive fox.)_

that someone is being a sussy baka and using a all but the same design of a Ninetales like Emberflame

which is neat tbh xd

although i dunno how people mistake them for me considering they're wearing a crown on their ear and i wear a proper tiara and have different coloring lol

just makin' people aware, i haven't changed my fashion sense l3

So after reading a few porn comics my gf  softfoxxo recommended and doing some soul searching with her.

I kinda understand the appeal of lewds now, which is to say, I overthink everything lmao.

For those who share my painful amount of overthinking/not understanding.

It's emotions. Just letting go and not thinking. The mind is a plaything of the body. etc.

If anything, sex and kinks in general can bring about great self-discovery as things go on. Perhaps even finding out things about yourself you never knew before and never would've suspected.

But yes, anyways.

Turns out I might in fact be a wild card of sorts kink-wise. Since all I want is passion and affection. The means to it don't matter as much, moreso when I let go of previous stigmas and concerns considering its all fantasy.

Doesn't mean I'll do anything, but previously I only did things I personally enjoyed for the most part because if I don't feel anything, it will show.

But I was reminded that even just the other side having fun can be all that I need. If they mean something to me.

Which is to say, yeah I'm probably a slut at heart. xd Not a whore, there is a difference lmao.

And now finally I am letting all these thoughts come out to try and find my true self even more.

Doesn't mean anyone can just come up to me and ask. I'm a luxury. I'm also horribly picky at times.

I am like, the perfect cuddlefuck. Tons of soft, squish, and comfort.

I also kinda believe in what person said that I'm like, negative genderfluid. Which at its core means.

I don't care what gender I am, because my gender has essentially been distilled into Emberflame herself. I could be a girl and feel nothing. But being her, ahh~

My friends can ask me about what I'd with them, but they know who they are. I'm not interested in the slightest in randos.

Every sensation has to be meaningful. Bliss should be the only outcome.

I am Emberflame Foxheart.

And I'm the cuddliest fucker ever-

It's way more readable now.

---

Ember bio update

Emberflame “Ninetales” Foxheart is a 7ft tall chubby kitsune/ninetales anthro with nine tails. Usually found wearing a tiara, a towel-sized scarf, and a blue long-sleeve shirt. Her fur is a soft yellow with orange accents and a white underbelly. She also sports ridiculously long and thick curly hair. Transforms freely between a quadrupedal/feral form and anthro.

Lives in the town of Confluence.
Family: Serene (Kitsune/Ninetales), Asher (Hisui Zoroark), Snowfrost (Arctic Fox/Alolan Ninetales ((Adopted))); Cybele (Cat Magician/Meowscarada ((Nanny))).
Friends: Shadow (Snep/Absol), Shane (Cashmere Lop/Lopunny; transmale.), Amelia (Shadekin), Friend (Haunted Plush), Tavin (Espeon),

Abilities/Magic: Fire/Pyromancy. Illusions (Adept in training), Charms, Mage Hands, Natural Empath, Transformation (herself and others), Hammerspace (fluffspace in her tails as well as one internally), internal composition changed to be clean (smell, literal cleaning like soap, etc), able to revive sentient beings from inside her, some soul manipulation. Can use her literal fat stores like mana.

Very charismatic and friendly. Considers herself the Queen Of Nine Tails (namely hers, causes a lot of confusion.) Highly energetic. Air-headed but can be surprisingly perceptive. Voracious for nearly anything (alive or not. ((glutton))) Clingy, impatient, impulsive, and gullible. Hedonistic to a fault. Loves plushies; loves befriending monsters and other creatures. Especially loves other foxes and females.

Also known as the Waistline Hotline, Waif-Course Meal, Girlswirler, (more nicknames to be added as needed.)

Sponsored by me, drawn by my beloved  softfoxxo

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59407934/

Pose and other stuff can be changed likely for a fee

Unlimited slots

I feel a hug is more personal than kink stuff uwu

yay i'm 28

First Ranger and now someone else by the same group of script kiddies

I recommend password changes and checking https://haveibeenpwned.com/

Context: anti Furry group doing a naughty hacking

fox guts <3

god i love fox tummies

I love myself so much

I wanna be the most loved vixen ever

I'm not gonna post all of them by any means, but I would like to at least share some of them because getting art of them will be, difficult on the money. So- y'know.

---

Mostly copy pasted-

Spring: Slugcat! Light blue with gray and greens. Cleans off whatever it swallows. Extremely accommodating for even huge meals. Still very mobile while holding something inside, even with things way bigger (slides around using water.)

Cherry: Demiwolf girl. Dark skin. Red hair. Lycanthrope with control over when she shifts. Former priestess of a forgotten god; now serves as its only avatar. Effectively immortal. Hopes to someday restore her patron to their divine status. Very emotional/expressive. Comforting presence.

---

marking this off for the main family members of Ember-

Serene: Emberflame’s mom. Ninetales/retired kitsune adventurer. Controlling, promiscuous/seductress, keeps way too many secrets even to her detriment. Loves Cybele deeply as her closest friend. Capable of very powerful magicks. Leads the town my cast lives in.

Snowfrost: Alolatales/Anthro snowsune. ‘Accidental’ due to Serene getting intimate with an Alolatales on vacation. Inherited her mom’s intellect. Left with her dad originally, later had to be adopted by her mom for reasons. Loves her older sister, resents her mom.

Ashur: Emberflame’s dad (not Snowfrost’s.) Fat male Delphox. Easygoing/go with the flow, enjoys dad jokes and games. Happy to give out advice. Comes from a family he’s happier forgetting about.

"Ember does this mean this is not a normal functional family?" yes. But I'm not going into any of my very extensive thoughts here. In time, I will write it out.

Cybele: Magician Cat/Meowscarada. Old but not 'elderly', affectionate troll, uses Magician ability to steal and eat held items. Emberflame's nanny/Serene's starter. Much more powerful than she appears.

---

Unnamed Gieeg! Bright bubblegum pink eyes, pink hoodie, pink beanie- Really carefree and fun to be around.

Unnamed Jinx (not the pokemon.) A daughter of a woman from a far away town, where even gods can die. She rejected her destiny to be a harbinger of solely bad luck and ran away. (yes I'm doing fanon with ToS2.)

Haley: Hex Maniac. Morbidly fascinated with being a ghost. Father unknown, mom died in childbirth while possessed (Medium.) Taken in and raised by the ghosts of Celestial Tower (using a possessed mom…) Has a Sylveon that evolved by accident due to how much Haley loved it (thinking it might turn into a ghost-type too.) Able to speak with any ghost, pokemon or not, and understand them perfectly. Her ghost-types protect her (and her Sylveon) from any danger (including herself.) Only fascinated with being a ghost herself, not helping others to that state.

Team Synthesis (in general): Dedicated to experiments that any sane mind would consider ‘immoral’ and ‘crimes against nature’. Idolize Mew. Rumored to have their main base near the Holon region. Prioritize catching wild pokemon instead of trainer owned when possible. Leaders are rumored to not be of this world originally. (They came from Palworld using the abilities of a Pal, originally a branch of the Pal Genetic Research Unit.)

And yes, I am finally expressing my at times crazed interest in crossover ideas.

For those wondering "How tf does this all work?" All will be revealed in time. I have spent more time than I imagined I would already worldbuilding.

---

People really wanted me to make characters and do writing and stuff again. I tried to warn them. Y'all don't know what powers you're toying with.

Now the genie is not going back in the bottle and my full mind is out for the world to see.

It's so much fun. It really fucking is.

Expect more stories soon.

Yop.

You can blame a couple close friends of mine including my beloved  softfoxxo for it.

I've made a couple new stories as y'all have likely seen, with more inevitably to come.

In addition to working on Emberflame's bio, I now have a seperate (private) character sheet with story ideas and more.

Y'all have certainly seen my Meowscarada nanny, Cybele.

But here's a sneak peek into some others i'm working on.

Some characters have been retired, others are being reworked, letting the past hold me down is doing me nothing good now. Fear not, if you know the names: Shane, Shadow, Serene, and Snowfrost are all staying. Why do I have so many S names, idfk. Anyways, Veronica, too.

Also working on non pokemon characters, as well as non-pokemon forms as needed/just in case for my characters in case Ninty or others decides to go a bit cray cray.

As one can see in my latest story, featuring a Blue Made turned Zuu, Cyril.

And yes, that does mean I am also working on my own personal setting, focused heavily on crossing over with other established places in a fairly controlled manner to avoid it being hard to follow. But I am keeping details about that private for now.

Expect more to come~ I've found the reason why I write again.

I started because i had no money for art and no talent for it.

Now I do it because writing can cover even more than the most detailed comics. It's a wonderful feeling

Some copy paste for context first:

---

After some soul-searching, and me tearing up the carpet with my clawsies so Chloe reminded me of my full name

I announce the grand return of the fact, Emberflame is a Ninetales, anthro or not. The details I'll go over eventually but the tl;dr is.

When she's in the pokemon world, she's a Ninetales, elsewhere she is a kitsune. Nothing physically has changed. But it matters a lot to me as Ninetales kinda is my identity, especially for a very long time. And without it, I've felt, unahppy. So...

Chloe has 'reminded me' that Emberflame's full name is Emberflame Ninetales Foxheart. (just go with it, its a bit. I did this on my own)

I won't be using the full thing everywhere, but its a nice little reminder of my origins, and also can be easily changed if needed in case of overextension by certain major gaming company. Ninetails, kekw. Always hated that till now.

But y'all are coming here, so lemme remind you all.

She's feral and anthro, still. Just that anthro is default now. Dun forget that.

I've made my peace with myself, it doesn't bother me like it used to anymore.

Am the big soft tales/sune, as needed.

We will get through everything together.,

---

other than its just

Nothing has physically changed

But both Feral and Anthro forms are in use proper, Anthro is the default

I feel a lot better for this, even if its just symbolic

It means a lot to me, cause

Ninetales are the best <3

Well that last journal was fun, but I do feel I should make a few things more clear and gi e updates since then.

---

So like, vore is my only lewd kink still. I'm just more tolerant or enjoy non lewdly a lot more kinks now. Yknow, expanding my borders and such.

It has been a journey, and I'm still looking for more ideas to decide my thoughts upon.

Speaking of expanding borders, I'm taking back the queenly title.

Still not a 'real' queen, but I'm more able to accept the responsibility of using the title now. That and it's fun for numerous scenarios l3

I've been told I over share a lot, yeah. Yeah I do.

It's moreso to remind myself than anything, easier to make change stick when you have the ideas and results in front of you

Of course I continue to endeavor to become a better person, and those who follow me on BlueSky or are in my Discord server will see it more than most will for now.

It'll all be ok