Whoa hey it's been a while.

Some furry updates: I'm working more on another original species. The species itself is pretty much set to go but I want a standout character to be the first of it. I'm toying with the ideas of the base species being a lagomorph cryptid like a jackalope or a skvader, but I don't know if I want antlers and risk people thinking I'm a wendigo or wings and risk people thinking I'm a weird dutchie. I also don't know if I want to introduce a character as the base species first and have him get infected by my new species after he's become more well known OR just introduce him post infection.

Second update: I'm making a sodaroo! They're still in the design phase so no name or personality yet and I'm still working on their markings and all that but I'm really excited to develop them! I'm using my favorite energy drink BeeBad (it's a natural honey drink and it's heckin delicious and doesn't do the jittery thing) so it's a sort of edgy bee themed roo and I can't wait to present them!

Also I went to Furrydelphia last week and it was awesome! I couldn't believe it was their first year at a new location it was really well organized! I couldn't participate in the dance contest because my suit didn't get done in time but I got to meet Zero Remnants in person and omg can I say nicest person ever??? You should totally follow Zero because super talented sweetheart???

My Pyro suit is coming along pretty well, though I do need to cut a bit away from the eyes because I finally figured out how to make them cute but I can barely see out of them soooo yeah that needs to be fixed. I think I've finally figured out the teeth but the fur is giving me trouble now because apparently I'm the worst at shaving fur.

Also MFF is a no go this year. The group I was going to go with is not on board just yet and it took way too long to get any info about tickets and hotels so now it's not enough time to plan and budget, especially since I need to focus on getting a new job and moving. If I can get the one job I'm looking at, I may be moving to western Massachusetts, which would make it much easier for me to get to all those New England fur meets and cons! After moving, I should be able to open commissions for small stuff like plushes and tails while I improve my skills to get into the harder stuff like paws, heads, and actual suits.

Ahhhhhh how to end this journallllll....uhhhh yeah I'm tired. Later, y'all

It's been a bit since I updated this thingamajig, eh?

Okay so I've finally decided on my third sona: a nonbinary punk rock skunk named Nitro! Since I use the three basic pronouns, I figured I should have a sona for each set that would also reflect different aspects of my personality (and have a theme of each of my three favorite colors!). Pyro is the sort of chill, confident side of myself (purple theme), Nox is the gay disaster/ball of anxiety but tries to be a good friend anyway (blue theme), and Nitro is...well, Nitro is pretty much my anger (green theme). I used to have a lot of issues controlling that side of myself as a teenager (didn't know who I was or what I was supposed to do with my life...it was a bad time for everyone involved) but I've since worked out how to channel it into more creative expressions rather than angsty outbursts (those are still kicking around every once in a while if I've had a particularly bad day ^^;)

I've gotten a bit more work done on my Pyro head (I swear she will be done by Tiny Paws!) but it's slow going because I'm taking 14 credits this semester (gonna graduate this time dammit!) and working two jobs @___@. I'm also planning on moving within the year (ideally it will be before December so I'll be settled in before MFF)

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? MFF?

That's right! If all goes as planned this year, I'll be making the trek out to Midwest FurFest 2019! I'm scared to death of planes (I'll only fly if I absolutely have no other choice/other options take an absurdly long time) so I'm gathering a road trip crew to get my little New Jersey butt all the way out to Illinois (though if moving is happening before MFF, I'll be a little Pennsylvania butt~. Still spiritually NJ though. Can take the asshole outta Jersey but can't take the Jersey outta the asshole). I've been wanting to go to MFF since I first joined the fandom (waaaaaaaaaaay back when I was like 18? 19? and the first group/con experience I had was horrific and like...actually traumatizing so I kinda ghosted the outskirts of the fandom until like...last year). But this time I've made some really good friends in the fandom and I've got some interested in making the land voyage with me so we'll just have to see how it goes!

Uhhhh what else oh yeah I finally made the decision to medically transition once I get on some real insurance and can get a good trans friendly doctor because dysphoria has been kicking my ass the past few years and really cranking up the depression knob. I am still identifying as genderfluid because there are still parts of me I feel as neutral and female, but I'm realizing male has really always been my default. I've been slowly socially transitioning for years now and going by Matt/being referred to by he/him pronouns just feels too good to ignore. You can still refer to me by any of the basic pronouns (unless I'm in suit and then it needs to be whatever that sona uses) and if you know my birth name you're still allowed to use that in person (I'll never call it my deadname because I still like it and it feels like a part of me, even if it's small). If you have any transition related questions or advice I'd be happy to talk privately with you about it.

(Acceptable kinds of questions: what areas do you experience dysphoria in so I know what to be more sensitive about in interacting with you? what kind of T are you looking into starting? do you plan on legally changing your name? are you closeted to anyone so I don't accidentally out you to them?

Unacceptable kinds of questions: are you going to get a penis? how will sex work with your boyfriend? are you sure you're not just a butch straight girl? what if you change your mind after you transition?)

Anywho this journal is getting way too long and I'm super tired and need to be up in...4.5 hours. Bleh.

I found good fur for Pyro! Fursuitsupplies.com is fantastic I will be frequenting it now. I also got some cheap test fur from Joann to do a sort of mockup before I order yards upon yards of nice fur. I'm so excited to do this I really hope finals don't kill my inspiration.

ALSO! I just bought my first adoptable from instagram yesterday and I'M IN LOVE. I'll try to do some terrible doodles later but she's a chibi blobby little manticore kitty and I love her so much. Her name is Chili Pepper (Chili for short) and I'll absolutely be making a suit of her after Pyro. She won't be a fursona but she's definitely a character I'll be using about as much as Pyro and Nox

I know I'm not very active on here lately, mostly because this semester is kicking my ass (i've only got one more after this thank god and goddess alike), and I haven't had much time to really work on anything furry related.

I have, however, started hard work on my fullsuit for Pyro! If you follow my instagram, you've already seen this, but I've got a good start on the head and I'm working on finding the right shade and texture fur (I've got some swatches and I've ordered some more swatches to do some tests but why is it so hard to find soft, smooth, dark grey fur???)

Anyone have suggestions for inexpensive dark grey fur? The dark grey sherpa from Joann is a good color but it looks too sheepy and not enough like a cat. Pawstar is a little expensive for all the extra work I'd have to do (I would have to shave it down). I'm not super familiar with fursuit supply sources so any help there would be much appreciated. I'm also looking for black whiskers (I had asked another suiter I follow what they use for whiskers but they ignored my question soooo yeah)

And no, I do not want to commission the fullsuit because I want to get better at making them myself and it's extremely important to me that I make Pyro on my own and I really want to have her done by Tiny Paws next August

After a while of combining all costuming on my cosplay instagram, I've decided to separate them and make a standalone furry account! Any fursuit building or shenanigans along with art and stuff will all go on there as well as here.

The username is grinsandgrowls if you'd like to follow me on there~