Rule 63 Thadius. Anyone wanna trade? Gift? let me know. i've wanted him in some garters and stocking for a while lol. never asked anyone for anything like this before.

In the last 6 months i have barely gotten out of bed. I've stopped my trainning and have written nothing.

For a year or two i've been sinking deeper and deeper into depression. So bad I've lost my ability to focus and my motivation has fallen to pieces. I have fallen apart.

My loving wife Beckaroo has been here to hold my hand and to make sure i get to therapy ans take my meds. My world though, continued to grow smaller, darker and infinity less pleasant.

I've been living by the skin of my teeth. But every time i think of going through with it i have these two little kids that i would be leaving behind, wondering if they would think i didn't love them. It stops me by crushing me down into a sobbing mess. Even writing this tears stream down my face at the thought of hurting those kids and disappointing my wife.

I've been fighting an identity issue for nearly 30 years. it is the only part of my life for long stretches of memory that remains. I have done so much damage by not addressing the issue. It's like a beach where the beautiful white sands have been washed away leaving only the black mud. When i look through my past the good times fade and the memories of my mistakes and breakdowns stand out from dwelling on them and building them up instead of holding on to the good times with both hands.

I am Gay. My family and friends now know. But i still must hide it from the mass public out of fear that my in-laws find out and cause problem for the wonderful woman that has been my wife for ten years in sept.

The stress of my old job was a catalyst. but it also made me realize after a couple of years i run away from the people around me. it was fear of letting anyone close enough to see that something was wrong.

Now life must start over. Sure some of you might be thinking that is a little mellow dramatic. Maybe it is. But it is a huge obstacle shutting off all the fears and the hatred i felt within myself. it is taking time. hopefully not a life time.

I must relearn who i am after thinking i had it figured out countless times. and learning that each one of those times i was lying to myself and hiding behind this facade.

Thank you for reading.

yeah this is a first. it's been so long i figure some folks would be asking.

Sorry everyone. i will not be able to attend FE this year. Have a great time everyone.

Hello Everyone. I am very happy to announce:

BOOK RELEASE PARTY

SEVEN STAR ADVENTURES
BY CALEB KNOTT
NOVEMBER 1ST AT NIAGARA KUNG FU ACADEMY, 4337 FOURTH AVENUE NIAGARA FALLS, 6 PM

PRE-ORDER SALE:

ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE ONE HAND-BOUND BOOK AND ONE LIMITED EDITION T-SHIRT

ONLY $25

Snacks and coffee and KUNG FU Demonstrations!!!

CHECK OUT MY PAGE AT:
www.facebook.com/cknottwriting
OR SEND AN EMAIL TO CALEB@EFFINGHAM PRODUCTIONS.COM

Hello Everyone. I am very happy to announce:

BOOK RELEASE PARTY

SEVEN STAR ADVENTURES
BY CALEB KNOTT
NOVEMBER 1ST AT NIAGARA KUNG FU ACADEMY, 4337 FOURTH AVENUE NIAGARA FALLS, 6 PM

PRE-ORDER SALE:

ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE ONE HAND-BOUND BOOK AND ONE LIMITED EDITION T-SHIRT

ONLY $25

Snacks and coffee and KUNG FU Demonstrations!!!

CHECK OUT MY PAGE AT:
www.facebook.com/cknottwriting
OR SEND AN EMAIL TO CALEB@EFFINGHAM PRODUCTIO

Well folks i am sad to report that there is a new book coming. Wait i said sad! well i am. there is not furry content in this one. Why o Why thad have you forsaken us? Well folks this a is a book based on a series i have been doing called seven star adventures. If you have face book you can find it at the page "The Writings of Caleb Knott". Go over, have a look. and liek the page if you could. If we hit a hundred likes well be randomly selecting someone to receive a free copy of the new book.

Sorry i have not been around much but i assure you all i have been watching and loving the art and stories of my fellow furs as much as ever.

So please pop on over and have look at the new story line and maybe run into your old favorites.

Thanks a bunch and see you all soon!

Thad.

Oh, that new book thingy will be available through me and Effingham productions on November 1. Bookshelf will also likely carry it if the demand is high enough.

I'm sorry but due to a lack of interest and a hole that has formed in the roof of my kitchen i will be canceling my spring BBQ. Yeah, ballz. i have to admit i am largely responsible for this since i have not been around as often as i used to. I have let a few people down too.

Life in the Effingham household is a busy one and with two growing kids and more and more things that we take them to i am running out of time for my own endeavors. Sleep is at a premium too. I've had to turn down several projects and this hurts but i have to look out for these two little guys and my beautiful wife first and for most. Unfortunately you guys get left behind and this hurts because some many of you have been so good to me.

Please forgive.

Thank you
Thad.

Remember folks this is the date of the new BBQ. Give me your details and who's gonna make it. The yard is in far better shape an i am feeling it better. Beckaroo has me in fine order this time around.

Another thing i'd like to ask. How is everyone. i am so out of touch! so give me some feed back folks i am curious as to what i've been missing.

Thad out

My apologies folks, but I must postpone Saturdays BBQ until Saturday June 8. I have several conflicting issues, the main one being Beckaroo will not be there. She is the backbone of these events, and without her presence, I fear the event will flop like a jellyfish. Let me know if you can make it. Again, my apologies for the short notice.

So spring meet folks! free comic book day. May 4th. looks like 3pm will be better due to timing. I may miss the sushi dinner with grandmaster but i really wanna host my meet this year. i have not had enough Thad time with friends.

Cost: 7 bucks for food.
Where? niagara falls ontario near the Great wolf Lodge. PM me for details if you are indeed coming.
what? fursuit walk downtown to Pulp Comics. fursuit invasion will occur if we can. after that there will be a BBQ and maybe a game of samurai,

If you are coming please post on one of the locations that this is up on so that i can have the food quantities figured out by wednesday the first.

If you want to help out let me know i'd be glad for some help but be warned there is not really that much to do other than giving me hand moving some stuff around. I am hoping to have the place all cleaned up before the actual day.

Thad out all!

So spring meet folks! free comic book day. May 4th. looks like 3pm will be better due to timing. I may miss the sushi dinner with grandmaster but i really wanna host my meet this year. i have not had enough Thad time with friends.

Cost: 7 bucks for food.
Where? niagara falls ontario near the Great wolf Lodge. PM me for details if you are indeed coming.
what? fursuit walk downtown to Pulp Comics. fursuit invasion will occur if we can. after that there will be a BBQ and maybe a game of samurai,

If you are coming please post on one of the locations that this is up on so that i can have the food quantities figured out by wednesday the first.

If you want to help out let me know i'd be glad for some help but be warned there is not really that much to do other than giving me hand moving some stuff around. I am hoping to have the place all cleaned up before the actual day.

Thad out all!

Okay folks, here is the deal. I want to hold my annual spring meet on free comic book day. May 4th. That same day i have a special training event at the kung fu academy. I still want to do my meet real bad so here is the plan. The seminar is 12-1:30 if i get enough interest to get us together for 2:30 and head over to the comic book shop for 3 and then back here for a BBQ! It will just be burgers and such this year since i'll have some time constraints. They will still be home made burgers and all so delicious as usual. So folks let me know what you all think of this idea. I'd love to have all my furry friends over again.

Meat cost this time since we are just doing burgers will be 7 bucks. That should cove my costs for meat buns and side dishes. You guys bring the deserts.


So my birthday is monday. We bought beckaroo a car. a hyundai accent. It was easier for us to get that then a used one. hows stupid is this world. For me. i'm not really getting anything. i've been kinda of blah about things like that lately. i'm not even doing anything for my birthday. My buddy mat says he wants to get me a set of tiger hook swords( i do admit this would be neat)

Generally when it come to material stuff i have not really had the need or desire for it. must be the buddhism.

Hey all it's a non furry series but it might be a fun read for you anyways. give this a read. its on my DA at

http://thadius-effingham.deviantart.....es-1-348360468

http://thadius-effingham.deviantart.....48900&qo=5

http://thadius-effingham.deviantart.....rt-3-356036645

I have some different stuff out there.

Thanks all Thad out!

So the other day Mr. Lewis at the kung fu academy says. "I'm trying to think of someone we could get to play po{kung Fu panda} at the birthday party this week end."

Then used his laser eye kung fu stare on me.

So i was Po today. It was awesome. i got to party around as Po and use a samurai sword to pop candy filled balloons!

Weeeeeeee,

On another note according to my son. if you have a dome on your house you must me a super villain. just so you super villains are aware this is a give away on to where your hideout is.

Thad out!

Well FE was a lot of fun. I ended up spending a good deal of my time with misterdad which helped me stay out of trouble i guess but i had a great time. i saw a lot of friends i had not seen in a while and i hope to have my spring furmeet here at the homestead again this year. Last year was filled with depression and self loathing. this year i am a happy pup so ahoy!

My panels went very well. Thank you to everyone involved and i hope you learned something from them. It was not the standard hey howdy folks this is how you write but instead keep your chin and work your ass off at developing good habits. My second panel is mostly just me talking about crazy shit i've seen and done and reading a few stories went well too, despite the extreme exhaustion. I do apologize for my poor readings that day, i was rather tired since i had no CPAP that weekend and as cadeus exclaimed the next morning "Dude you stopped breathing for like three minutes!". Yeah it's an excuse but my eyes were half crossed most of the day so nya!!!. I did have a fellow inquire as to if my anecdotes were in published format somewhere(sorry i am terrible with names and stuff). The answer at the moment is no. I was never one for writing non-fiction because it makes me nervous telling real stories about people. What if they get mad? i really don't know how to deal with that kind of stuff. Mind you i have lead an incredible life. i've so much hilarious and crazy stuff while working in so many different environments that i wonder if i should start putting it down on paper.

Now for some sad news. Yes it took my this whole post to get to it because i would not be able to write if i started with it. My beautiful kitten of 12 years passed away last night. Shayley was sick for about a week and crawled under the desk where becky sat and gave up her battle. I thought she was going to recover when she started eating again but in the end she left us. I miss her so much already.

I love you Shayley, may you rest in peace.

Thad

Hey hey folks its completely true. I'll be at FE. I'll even be hosting another story telling panel. It's sunday afternoon and called telling a tall tail. for those of you that were there the first time i tell a few stories in the guise of comedy and read a few stories. it's all a good time.

So i'll see you all there. expect me to look confused. I'll be without my guiding light, beckaroo.

So if i look lost turn me in the right direction.

Any questions?

So despite lack of time and monies in general, )this always seems to be the case anyways). My mood is still on an upward swing. My relationship with my wife has become better by the minute and the trust levels and comfort are at an all time high. life is good.

My kung fu is getting more fun every week and sifu is still awesome. we are thinking of putting a book together. This would be super cool to be in on that project.

Writing wise things are moving which is good. ideas are flowing but finding time to put them to paper is not easy. i must just get more diligent and better with my time. *takes notes on this*

how is everyone these days? anyone gonna be at FE?

Well i am feeling pretty good as of late. Beckaroo and I have grown together and feel like we are on a second honeymoon as of late. I love here dearly, i am hers and she is mine. Our two awesome kids are doing great. Ronin and Teddy win the hearts of whom ever they are around

Jade our dog has been skunked. she managed to wipe it all over the carpet so our house smells like it is chemical warzone. it is starting to pass but i am getting tired of the smell and just want it gone NOW!

Writing projects ahoy. i have a few of them in the works and feel great so things should really be coming along over the next few weeks. I hope you all look forward to the next Chazore to the rescue story coming up.

Kung FU is going awesome. My time at the club is always a pleasure. i have a test on the 18 elders form in a few weeks and i feel pretty good about it. This will make it empty hand form number 7 for me(two of which i learned under grand master chow.) and two weapons forms. But I am still a long way away from 3rd chamber.(can't wait). Sifu also tells me that in orer for me to apply for my black sash(3rd chamber) i have to have a another novel ready for publication.(his school his rules. Kung FU is about success in life as well as combat and self defense after all.)

Major projects on the go. A chinese Lion. this will be very hard. Of course it is for Sifu so it must be perfect.

I am also getting my thoughts together for my panels at FE. One on writing and a story telling entertainment panel.

All in all things are busy but i am having a great time.

The is the Question. if you had a chance to make a story what would you do to Thad? what perilous situation or morphing or general chaotic situation would he find himself in? Who knows maybe i'll write it or you can and i'll feature it.

So as during every holiday the Great wolf Lodge up the street had fireworks. I put jade out in the yard as usual and sat with the kids and some friends and watched them out front. When we came in to put the kids to bed the was blood everywhere. all over the carpets and up the stairs to the kids room. then i realized the trail was following jade where ever she went. Grabbed her and dragged her to the kitchen where i found piles of blood enough to slip in,( it was pretty nasty).

I sent out our guest out to get my Tenant who helps me with Jade(she is a pig headed bulldog when she wants to be and he's pretty good with the animals) and she went around looking for what cause the cut. we never found it. Mat held her while i dressed her paw. As a dog will do she wanted the bandage off. So out cam a piece of duct tape and voila it was perfect. Once she calmed down the bleeding stopped easily enough and today she is none worse for wear. With he heart pumping like crazy from the fire works a tiny cut became a gusher.

Other than that life is good. My brother is coming over for dinner tonight. Turkey ahoy! Maybe i'll even give jade a piece. Who am i kidding of course i will.

Good day all!

I am actually for the first time using my brain and putting up an open for commissions post. It's seems people are not entirely too sure about how to get a custom story. Here's the digs.

Short story. Min- 1000 words. if it runs really long and you've paid for a short the rest is bonus. 40 dollars. This takes about two weeks to get back.

med-short story- min 5000 words. - 120 dollars. Sounds like a lot but the editing and processing time is significant. About one month.

Novella- 20 000 words - 600 dollars This is a very extensive story. 50 to a hundred pages in length. it can take as long as three months to complete.

Story board and comic book work.- price to be negotiated

What will i write? Well, pretty much anything now. I have experience writing in many genres. If you want examples go through my galleries or pick up some of my books. I have been published in 6 con books. had a story arc converted in to a roxykat comic and published two collections of short stories.

If you plays are conbook story arcs and ideas written in specific styles it can all be done. I do a fair bit of free work in exchange so don;t be afraid to ask. i also do gift stories on occasion for furs that i find have neat and interesting things they are interested in. Post on my page and maybe i'll find something of interest on your page.

If you require adult material it will be posted on my adult account.  ThadAfterDark

All works will be owned by the buyer. In some cases i may request the use of the story in future publications here at Effingham Productions. If this is this case you will be contacted and a request will be made. If you agree your story will be featured in a future copy of frenetic ramblings and you will receive your copy gratis as a thank you.

You own the story for any purpose you like but all credit for writing it must be credited to me.

Any questions?

Well, it's here. Christmas. My kids have bad fever so i let them sit on the couch to play some games and had to cancel dinner with grandma. No one needs her getting Strep. yeah it sucks. but it's better than last night. ronin was starting to hallucinate from fever. In four years he's fought off ever nap we've asked him to take and needless to say he napped yesterday.

He's feel a fair bit better today. It's all the Christmas gift i really need. Beckaroo did get me some droid figures for my office. Macconnors got me volume 2 of Elephant men. i highly recommend this comic to any furry fellow out there. ANd Mat gave me a world breaker hulk heroclix.

Beckaroo got a Gandalf plushie, and a doctor stange graphic novel.

Thank you to all of you that put out Christmas wishes. It nice to see that political correctness can take a break and STFU for a day or so. THe holidays are getting watered down too much. Yeah i'm a buddhist but Christmas is about family and giving to show we appreciate each other. This gift itself needs only to be a thank you and sometimes we forget that. But really we are not perfect so gadgets will have to do :).

Take care everyone and i hope you all have a great Christmas.

That was great Danny! The parade was awesome. it was cool seeing so many smiling kids and people. It was hard to make that walk while recovering from Bronchitis. It was long and about halfway i could hear the pleas for water from me and some others. I do not have a lot of suit stamina to begin with and it was tough. but now that my heads pounding is beginning to abate it was totally worth it.

Danny dingo was awesome and animated as usual. Flow is great! kids go nuts for her so do elderly ladies for some reason. Symbayo(hope i got that right) and Valrus were wicked to meet. it was good all around. Any furs heading from the niagara region to the FE Xmas party please let me know. i have some thing that need to get up there for danny and Valrus. ;)

I am going to lay down now.
Thanks everyone.
Thad

Despite being sick like a dog :P today was a good day. Finished http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9416899/ Xmas story and managed to get my suit fixed up so i can meet up with danny dingo tomorrow for the parade. Now i have never entertained people before other than other furs so i am a bit nervous. I hope the pro himself(danny) can give me a hand or at least a few pointers.

Wish me luck.

Thad