After all these years, I've finally have passed the FCAT!!
I guess I've really put my heart in it.

I have been thinking of society and I decided that I'm against it. I probably went over this in another journal I dunno if I did. Both real life and fandom wise. (They aren't any different)

I was so delusion thinking that there'd be something good this whole time, but not always.That doesn't mean that there isn't any good people out there though as I have met many. Both Real life and fandom wise.

How ever, I'm not a perfect furry or person, but I still attempt to better myself by looking at my own flaws. And I also try to be an open minded individual. Again I have been looking at my own mistakes as means to better myself which is a good thing.

Well not entirely...
Last night I had another, you guessed it, another fight with my mom and then dad. Dad of all people along with my mom, will always stand out to me. My mom told him that "I'm not doing my online chemistry work" and that "I have an F in English"(I now have a D now.). So she was talking about how she's losing it and that she doesn't want to kill me and all that, yet she has an aggressive/destructive mindset ever since I was young. And then my dad talked to me and I guess he wasn't kidding when he said he would treat me like an "adult". From what my dad "gotten" from her is that I'm supposedly "disrespectful", and that I "bully" and "terrorize" her which is false. On the phone I got chewed out and he got so many things wrong. They don't see that I'm trying to do better. I called him ignorant for that by the way. And then I was called an idiot because "I am not doing good and that I'm failing" and they still think I'm a "homosexual" simply because they have accidentally seen pictures of my belly. I tried to straighten things up to dad but he has shown ignorance and exposed his own aggressive/destructive mindset to me. For instance, he said"If I was there, I would bust yo ass" Wow dad that's really nice of you. And who the &$@/ says that to their son!? That's fucked up! These are the reasons why I don't talk to my dad anymore. Even if he was right, he has exposed his aggression which raises a red flag!

First of all yes I admit I have been absent on my online chemistry course because I had to get my grades up in highschool and the amount of Homework I get.
And I don't bully her or terrorize she's just stressed and likes to sometimes take it out on me. I have no intentions to harm anyone and it has never been in my agenda even if I have some strength in my arms.

I will no longer talk or in anyway associate with my dad from now on!

I will mostly be available through google hangouts. I have a google plus account and anyone's welcome to contact me or chat over their. I did say that I wouldn't be available on Skype and probably am due to some stuff at home. So I'm there.

Feel free to contact me their as it will be my main IM for some time. I really wish I had my laptop fixed soon though.

It has been a few days since I have undergone through this "period" and I happen to stumble upon this undesired conclusion...

I could possibly be "Antisocial"

I felt like hiding from other people even though I have some friends in real life. And I do struggle inn carrying a conversation. And no joke, the things that I mostly do is just fist bump and jerk my head up when greeting my friends and that's basically it most of the time. I have been searching on google search and still am to break that string that keeps holding me back as well as finding was to break it.
Other than that, I have found a few on Skype and on google plus that are and claim to be antisocial and I'm glad that I'm not the only person that's antisocial.


And I'm still fighting to be positive and optimist. And this might sound and make me look kind of dumb, but I learned that an optimist's life isn't always easy. They go through some hard stuff that people have to face and overcome. But nevertheless, I'm still fighting the good fight. And I do appreciate all the help from my friends both here and there.

Love you all with all my heart and strength~

I feel like I'm becoming more positive in being optimistic. I have told myself good things and I feel better about it.

I was also looking up what a cynic is or what cynical means.
I learned that when someone is cynical, they have a negative view of other people as well as the place that they live on from what I've gotten.

Many questions I would ask a Cynic:

How do you standout from other people?
What makes you better than them?
How is it that you have a distrust of other people?

Those are the questions that I came up with.

Today I was in my Intensive Reading class and I told a joke that I had made up. I told this joke to my friends...
Knock Knock
Who's there
Vodka
Vodka who
Vodka doodle doo
I thought it was funny and for those who do not know what Vodka is it's some alcoholic beverage from Russia here's a link to it
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vodka
So when I told the joke, my friends were "meh" about it. And then there was this girl who I deemed "ignorant"
She called me immature for telling a Vodka joke. Does anyone know how that joke was "immature"? Anyfurry?
One of my issues about some people is that they can be ignorant and even insert probably the most ridiculous ideas about you and some times treat you like shit.

But I have also been trying to stay on the positive side and still be logical. I decided to work on forgiving ignorant people for two reasons.
They cannot help it, and it is bound to happen anyways and it cannot be stopped because they are people that chose to be that way.

I have disabled my account because I was going through a hiatus. I was depressed and I was going through mood swings. I have taken it on two of my fur family members and I want to say that I am sorry for hurting those two or anyone.

I will explain tomorrow as I have to go to bed.

to improve myself. Also thank you for your support













and

Today I just got my textbooks and I only got three of them. This is the last and only year of high school. I've heard a few myths about high school. one said that it was a break from my previous years something like that. When I had gotten the three textbooks I realized I have earth science again and I wonder if it's because I have failed chemistry since I took earth science in my first year.

Anyways, This is my last year in High school and I'm gonna do everything or more than I can to make it better.
Better make it good! runs off with determination

I have a bad grade in World History, was in a drama in a chat group and now someone came back on Skype and I didn't want to jack things up and I left my fur family group. I don't know if I'm going to make it out or through. Things aren't looking good for me and I just feel like a sac of *&^% about it.

I was thinking of something recently and the past few months while I was looking up about parenting one time
So this is what I had came up from my mind.

"If you want others to do better, you've must find ways to build them up from the ground."-TheFatdrago

It's hard to explain some things in this quote I made, but here's what I am trying to say.

This is if you're the head of a group or a leader or a head-figure

Translation
If it matters to you, you would find ways to be constructive to your group instead of spending most of the time breaking them down into tiny pieces. If you've committed a transgression, admit it and don't hide it or act like you didn't do anything. Find forgiveness and if you are forgiven, then that's good. That's where you might find ways to not only be accepted, but you have learned from your mistake and you are moving on.

This is something that was in my mind so i tossed it out to see what you guys think. The again I could be either right or wrong on something.

These are some of the best artist I look up to and they are my top favorites of all time!

&

I normally don't do this, but that's how I feel about them. Give them a watch!

Do this if you have either a best friend or mate

I love you so much
So much that I would

Eat with you
Run with you
Talk to you
Run with you
walk with you
help you
feed you
force feed you
lift you
eat you
Save you
store you
protect you
find you
stalk you
sleep with you
joke with you
spy on you
and most importantly...
be gay with you
love you
and be friends with you


But mostly important.
Heal you
Take care of you
tickle you
kiss you
for all eternity

These are my friends and family that I look up to in whom I deeply love and extremely appreciate. I also feel like that they have an impact on me and my life. So here goes!



and last but not least...

Thank you all for helping me and being supportive. as well as a friend and family member to me. I love you all with all my heart soul and strength. And you will have a special place in my heart for all eternity.

You make me feel better, have made me laugh with joy, put a smile on my face, and even touch my heart.

This game was made by the help of a Game Maker tutuor by the name of Shaun Spalding.
I give a thousand credits to him!

I might do this as a hobby.

Um...
Does any fur have any ideas on helping my laptop and how to get it fixed? My laptop is really slow and possibly infected. I used to have Norton but found out that it was bad. If there's any idea, let me know

I encourage you to share this with someone