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This sucks
Posted 12 years agoYou know what sucks? being in the middle of BFE where I can't just go to a con if I want. Not only is travel hard enough but I get no time off work what so ever to do so. So I have to go to Modesto for family reasons and guess what weekend it's on? That's right the same one as FC. So not only will I not get to go to FC but life decides to play a joke on me and put me right next door on the same damn weekend. All right... rant is over, and at least I'll get to be with family during my stay over there so that makes up for it. *Goes back to drinking my coffee and lurking*
New Laptop
Posted 14 years agoAlright, so my tower and my laptop are going out and I can't afford to replace them both. I've been nursing them along but it's past that point now. I've decided to go the portable route until I can afford to get the tower I want. Now here's the issue, since I do a lot of my work on my comps I need something with some processing power and storage, and something that has USB and various port connectivity. But I would also like to start drawing and touch screen would be nice for photo editing. I don't think a tablet would be adequate so I was thinking about going with a cross like the hp TouchSmart. I see the ratings and reviews that the sights offer but I want to see what any of you might have experienced with this style of comp. Or if you think I'm an idiot for wanting one and I just need a laptop then feel free to slap me and tell me so.
One of those WTF moments
Posted 15 years agoSo I'm at work today and the conversation with one of my co-workers is rather raunchy as it tends to be; when out of the blue, he spouts off with "So I had a dream last night that you and I were in a devils threesome and half way through you popped the blow up doll"
Now he's not a bad looking guy, even posed for play girl back in the day, but that was some time ago and he's 20 years older than me. It was just one of those moments that left me speechless for a while.
Now go back to doing something better than reading my journals.... Really.... anything will do. Even clipping your toe nails would probably be better than reading this.
Now he's not a bad looking guy, even posed for play girl back in the day, but that was some time ago and he's 20 years older than me. It was just one of those moments that left me speechless for a while.
Now go back to doing something better than reading my journals.... Really.... anything will do. Even clipping your toe nails would probably be better than reading this.
Just out of curiosity...
Posted 15 years agoare the bloopers and outtakes from a porno called a gag reel?
Meme's the first and likely last from me :P
Posted 16 years agoSo I get on line after a long time and find that I tagged by [Ramsay] and in quoting him "damn you *shakes fist* ;)" But I figured since it didn't involve me drawing I'd do it really quick.
1)these are the rules
2)post 8 true things about yourself
3)at the end you must tag 8 people and post their icon
4)then you must go to their page & tell them you got tagged
5)NO tag backs!
erm... yeah... so...
1) I'm a walking contradiction in that I'm not shy about what I do in public or private or what people think of me but I hate being noticed
2) I'm WAY too fond of fire :P
3) I used to anger very easily but have since got it under control
4) I've known since I can first remember that I am going to die in fire
5) I chose to face that head on and became a fire fighter
6) I believe that with out seeing tragedy in real life you'll never be able to truly understand the blessing of love
7) Agreeing with Ramsey in that solitude is bliss
8) I have 0 tattoo's or piercings because I put enough scars and holes on/in my body by accident I don't need to do it on purpose :P
And since I'm never on I don't know anyone so YAY FOR RANDOM TAGS
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/cluttered/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/themachinest/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/lovegun/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/neromyrwindstrike/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/xpanther/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/tcougar/
i didn't tag 8 people... so what? Rules are made to be broken!!
1)these are the rules
2)post 8 true things about yourself
3)at the end you must tag 8 people and post their icon
4)then you must go to their page & tell them you got tagged
5)NO tag backs!
erm... yeah... so...
1) I'm a walking contradiction in that I'm not shy about what I do in public or private or what people think of me but I hate being noticed
2) I'm WAY too fond of fire :P
3) I used to anger very easily but have since got it under control
4) I've known since I can first remember that I am going to die in fire
5) I chose to face that head on and became a fire fighter
6) I believe that with out seeing tragedy in real life you'll never be able to truly understand the blessing of love
7) Agreeing with Ramsey in that solitude is bliss
8) I have 0 tattoo's or piercings because I put enough scars and holes on/in my body by accident I don't need to do it on purpose :P
And since I'm never on I don't know anyone so YAY FOR RANDOM TAGS
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/cluttered/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/themachinest/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/lovegun/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/neromyrwindstrike/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/xpanther/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/tcougar/
i didn't tag 8 people... so what? Rules are made to be broken!!
still here
Posted 16 years agoNo I'm not dead, although what I've been through in the last year or so I should be. :P I've been doing art still but very little. Truth be told I'd much rather come home at the end of the night and enjoy what you've posted than work on my own. Yours is better anyhow. XD
I guess I'll try
Posted 19 years agoOk, so knowing that I can’t draw, at least with any kind of speed what so ever, I’ve decided to take that art challenge that’s going around. But I don't want to be the only one doing it here, so I present it to all of you too. You all know the rules and incase you don't:
1.) Make 100 pics, each pic having a theme listed below. Each pic should have ONE and one one theme to it, for it to count.
2.) No time limit. That’s a big plus for me but I am putting a twist on it for me… Any pic that I start can not continue through to the next day. I can do multiple in one day but not one in multiple days.
3.) The main picture should be drawn but not limited to that. For all fair purposes, people are allowed to use their paint programs and photo shop to create the pic.
a. Pictures should be of own artistic ability. You may not edit photos, or break any other rules set out in the etiquette policy. Your pics can be anything from sketches and doodles to great masterpieces.
4.) The list below is to be placed somewhere in your journal for others to see that :
a. You are in the challenge
b. What you have completed
5.) Make sure to update this list and check off what is done and make a link to the pic
In the comments for your art work note if it is part of the list and what ONE theme it is.
The list:
1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation
1.) Make 100 pics, each pic having a theme listed below. Each pic should have ONE and one one theme to it, for it to count.
2.) No time limit. That’s a big plus for me but I am putting a twist on it for me… Any pic that I start can not continue through to the next day. I can do multiple in one day but not one in multiple days.
3.) The main picture should be drawn but not limited to that. For all fair purposes, people are allowed to use their paint programs and photo shop to create the pic.
a. Pictures should be of own artistic ability. You may not edit photos, or break any other rules set out in the etiquette policy. Your pics can be anything from sketches and doodles to great masterpieces.
4.) The list below is to be placed somewhere in your journal for others to see that :
a. You are in the challenge
b. What you have completed
5.) Make sure to update this list and check off what is done and make a link to the pic
In the comments for your art work note if it is part of the list and what ONE theme it is.
The list:
1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation
Just had to clear off my old journal
Posted 19 years agoIt all comes down to the simple fact that I just want to feel again. A little clarification is probably needed for the general audience though so I�ll elaborate a little more. First off, well start with a little history. I�ve worked with the Johnson County Fire Department for over six years now. In that time I�ve gone on innumerable calls. When I first got on I was a little concerned on how I�d deal with death. And understandable concern I�d think. It wasn�t so much my death that I was concerned about. I�ve always known that I�d die in fire, one of my first memories in fact. No, the deaths I was worried about were those of the victims that couldn�t be saved. I was genuinely surprised when I went on my first call� It was a casualty call and for some reason I didn�t really feel anything. And it�s gone on that way ever since. The only thing that I�ve �felt� was the pity for the surviving family members. Being that I live in a fairly small community, many of the accidents involve people I know. Even when I watched a couple of my friends die, my only thought is �I wonder how it feels�. But as interesting as I�m sure that must be it�s not fully how it sounds. I was thinking of the family at that time too. I was wondering how it feels to be able to grieve like that, to love someone so deeply. That�s the first part of my wants. To know what it�s like to feel in that sense. I know it sounds morbid in a way, but most of you know the saying �you always want what you don�t have�
Now this is where it does get morbid. It�s been a while since we�ve had anything but simple wrecks and wild land fires. A while for me is two weeks. I know it may not seem like much but when it�s all you are, it�s an eternity. As much as I hate to say it, I actually find myself hoping for and accident or a big fire. I don�t want people to get hurt or to lose what they find important. But I do want to feel important, to feel needed again. I am what I am. As it says in my writings:
I have no name only an identity
A sole description of who and what I am
Having a name would allow others to get too close
To see my true identity
I am what you don�t want to admit
I do what you don�t want to do
I shelter you from the truth of life
And save you when you realize that truth
For this you call me a hero
But I am not a hero but the other half of what must be
For you to live with peace of mind I must exist
To protect you from the truth that life has to offer I must exist
And so I have become the Lone Wolf
I have no name just the truth of who I am.
An old and simple poem but the truth is often just that� simple. For me to exist, tragedy must exist. With out it I�m nothing and I don�t want to die out now. I want to live but with no reason to live I no longer exist. And so I�ll end this rant letting you know one of the many reasons that I disgust myself. I just want to feel again, and I hate myself for it.
Now this is where it does get morbid. It�s been a while since we�ve had anything but simple wrecks and wild land fires. A while for me is two weeks. I know it may not seem like much but when it�s all you are, it�s an eternity. As much as I hate to say it, I actually find myself hoping for and accident or a big fire. I don�t want people to get hurt or to lose what they find important. But I do want to feel important, to feel needed again. I am what I am. As it says in my writings:
I have no name only an identity
A sole description of who and what I am
Having a name would allow others to get too close
To see my true identity
I am what you don�t want to admit
I do what you don�t want to do
I shelter you from the truth of life
And save you when you realize that truth
For this you call me a hero
But I am not a hero but the other half of what must be
For you to live with peace of mind I must exist
To protect you from the truth that life has to offer I must exist
And so I have become the Lone Wolf
I have no name just the truth of who I am.
An old and simple poem but the truth is often just that� simple. For me to exist, tragedy must exist. With out it I�m nothing and I don�t want to die out now. I want to live but with no reason to live I no longer exist. And so I�ll end this rant letting you know one of the many reasons that I disgust myself. I just want to feel again, and I hate myself for it.
I'm a... Emotional pornstar who is a beast in bed
Posted 19 years agoOk a first time for jumping on the bandwagon but I had to. :P
Pick the first Letter of Your first Name
A- Fabulous
B-Gorgeous
C-Pretty
D-Popular
E-Gangster
F-Girly
G-Dyke
H-Sweet
I-Retarded
j-Emotional
K-Beautiful
L-Boyish
M-Slutty
N-Preppy
O-Hot
P- amazingg
Q-Punky
R-Hot
S-Sexy
T- Very Sexy
U-Ugly
V-Wonderful
W-Hott
X-Bitchy
Y-Under-appreciated
Z-Over-appreciated
Now the third letter in your middle name(if you dont have one use your last name):
A-beauty queen
B- skank
C-Bitch
D-Obsesser
E- God (ess)
F-Retard
G-Queen/ King
H-Slut
I-Girl
J-Goth
K-Nerd
L-M-Sex machine
N-Alcoholic
O-Geek
P-Babe
Q-Crackwhore
R-pornstar
S-Prince (ess)
T-Whore
U-Cry Baby
V-Jackass
W-Punk
X-Scaredy-cat
Y-Coward
Z-Chocoholic
Now What Color Is the Shirt You Are Wearing:
Red- Who's Good With My Hands
purple- Who Looks At Porn 24/7k
Orange- Who Likes It In The Butt
Yellow- Who Wants To Have Sex With You
Green- Who will do anything for Sex
Pink- Who Will Do Anything For Crack
blue- Who wants to fuck everyday
White- Who everyone wants to fuck
Brown- Who Wears Big Sunglasses
Black- Who will rock your world
Gray- who gives great head
None-who is a beast in bed
NOW REPOST THIS WITH THE NAME & STATEMENT YOU GOT
BEGINNING WITH "I'm a..."
Pick the first Letter of Your first Name
A- Fabulous
B-Gorgeous
C-Pretty
D-Popular
E-Gangster
F-Girly
G-Dyke
H-Sweet
I-Retarded
j-Emotional
K-Beautiful
L-Boyish
M-Slutty
N-Preppy
O-Hot
P- amazingg
Q-Punky
R-Hot
S-Sexy
T- Very Sexy
U-Ugly
V-Wonderful
W-Hott
X-Bitchy
Y-Under-appreciated
Z-Over-appreciated
Now the third letter in your middle name(if you dont have one use your last name):
A-beauty queen
B- skank
C-Bitch
D-Obsesser
E- God (ess)
F-Retard
G-Queen/ King
H-Slut
I-Girl
J-Goth
K-Nerd
L-M-Sex machine
N-Alcoholic
O-Geek
P-Babe
Q-Crackwhore
R-pornstar
S-Prince (ess)
T-Whore
U-Cry Baby
V-Jackass
W-Punk
X-Scaredy-cat
Y-Coward
Z-Chocoholic
Now What Color Is the Shirt You Are Wearing:
Red- Who's Good With My Hands
purple- Who Looks At Porn 24/7k
Orange- Who Likes It In The Butt
Yellow- Who Wants To Have Sex With You
Green- Who will do anything for Sex
Pink- Who Will Do Anything For Crack
blue- Who wants to fuck everyday
White- Who everyone wants to fuck
Brown- Who Wears Big Sunglasses
Black- Who will rock your world
Gray- who gives great head
None-who is a beast in bed
NOW REPOST THIS WITH THE NAME & STATEMENT YOU GOT
BEGINNING WITH "I'm a..."
I'm still alive... I think
Posted 19 years agoIt's been a while since I posted so I figured I'd give a little insight into what I've been doing. Of course it�s that time of year again the wonderful active fire season. That, coupled with the extra calls from the increased tourist activity, has managed to keep me thoroughly busy. And when I'm not on calls I'm typing up reports. It's not much of an excuse but it's all I got XD. Any how, TheMachinest (take a look at his stories even if he doesn't want you to :P) has managed to convince me to start drawing more and porn none the less, so I figured that I'd at least try my hand at it. The submissions will still be few and far between probably, but they are coming.
