Whether you celebrate it or not, I'm thankful for you for listening, watching, helping, and for all the good vibes.

I've seen one too many accounts closing, suspensions, and mishandled moderation to want to stay here. There needs to be a better alternative that does not involve biased administration.

For now, I'm not going to upload any more of my art to FA.

Primarily, a job would be nice.

Secondarily, if you can share my story, my manifesto, to spread the message of men's health and well-being, then please do so.

However, if you still feel like helping me directly... I've been asked a few times about PayPal. I set up Shinies here on FA, but if you want to send me directly, my Paypal is revenge43[at]lovecat.com . I can't really promise much back, as most of my time has to be divided between my courier side gig, and looking for employment.

Sorry for making everyone worry. Thank you for the hugs and the prayers. Right now, though, I could use some more physical assistance.

I have no more...

Something got messed up in my payments. Not 25 minutes ago or so, I got an email about a transaction that went through out of order, and cleaned out my entire account.

I am officially in poverty.


I want to scream... I don't know what to do

don't know

^ me

I just learned earlier today that I'm not eligible for unemployment, so... I'm basically already a dead man.

Please unwatch, unfollow me. I'm not getting the help I need, and it's clear that this isn't anything you want to see or read.

Lost my job today.

Depression: too many points to count
Me: 0

Last night, was the worst night in the past few months.

Here I was, minding my own business, getting ready to watch a weekly Twitch stream that I've been following for quite some time.
Stream starts, host looks hurried and not prepared.
He says his welcoming statements, then says he's going to go get a beverage.
Knocks down the green screen on purpose to reveal that he had a few guests on the webcam part of the show.

Imagine my surprise, shock, and horror when THE EX-WIFE IS ONE OF THEM.

Rage. A panic attack.
Never have I knocked over so many items off my computer desk to close that browser window.
Blocked the channel. Unfollowed.

Why can't she just leave me alone and let me live my life, dammit?
Let me exist!
Stop ruining the things I'm into!

I feel like she's trying to stalk me.

Father's Day?
Yup, sure was.

Happy?
... I don't think so.

So... It's been a bit.

Let me recap what all has been going on since the last journal entry:
Yes, I found out she was cheating on me with a friend in a community I had been a part of since first joining myself to the internet. Both of them were flirting with one another, then started getting really raunchy with each other over Discord private messages, then ... Skype calls. With chatting. And showing of body parts. I saw the logs, I saw what they were doing.

I caught her, exposed her. Then I heard from a few mutual friends that both of them were going to accuse me of domestic abuse.

Which, me being a guy, is basically a death sentence.

I had previously seen that she was searching on Google Chrome (on my computer, lol!) about how much money it would cost to move to where he lives. And going to college. And work. And other big expenses. And I figured that she would accuse me of abuse, therefore winning the case against me in court, thereby seizing possession of everything I own so she could sell whatever she could to move out to be with him. And that there was barely enough money in our joint bank account for her to do it.

She almost won.

And then I hired a lawyer.

And she had no money to do so.

So it was a curbstomp legal battle since she couldn't hire one (given that I have a job and she doesn't), so I forced her to pack up her things and gtfo I don't care where, and she ended up packing up all of her things into boxes and totes and moved back to live with her parents.

So now I'm officially divorced. And alive. And not in jail.

And she's alone, unable to fend for herself, needing to realize that she messed up big time.



So now I'm free and able to live my life.

The Revenge is back, baby. And ooh, revenge is sweet indeed.

I SNOOPED ONTO HER LAPTOP WHILE SHE WAS OUT GETTING GROCERIES... CHEATING ON ME WITH SKYPE SEX AND INTIMATE DISCORD CHATS, NOT TO MENTION LEWD PROMISES ON FACEBOOK VIA DIRECT MESSAGES TO A BUNCH OF OTHER GUYS!

I WON! 

I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON! 

THE LAW IS ON MY SIDE! 

I'M GOING TO DESTROY HER LIFE... EXPOSE HER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE... 

I HAVE SCREENSHOTS OF EVIDENCE... MULTIPLE... HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HA HA HA HA!

This stupid job keeps trying to screw me over... The insurance team is being slow to respond to our needs... And her medical needs are adding up... I have no money to get the medicine she needs to stay sane and manageable...

No more commissions for a while...

I'm not alright, thanks for asking

I feel like I'm losing her

Oh no

I don't know what to do

I can't breathe

Screw this life, I can't have done something so big drastic and wrong to deserve this, did I?

Then why is everything going so so so wrong

I was just informed that my company is cutting my wife off of the insurance plan. Which is a major problem, as that would mean that her anxiety medication would be $500 a bottle from now on.

I don't know what to do anymore...

Doing anything on my phone sucks...

Update journal in the next little while, but a short summary is:

1. I just (this past weekend, through this week until this coming Sunday) moved to a new apartment. Helps with cleaning things up.
And yes, Corri is still with me. Bank is being an ass in releasing important documents for us.

2. As a result of the move, in flat broke. Like, nervously waiting for the next paycheck in two weeks. I dunno how close this is going to be.

Will check in later.

I'm 29 as of earlier this week.

I was sorely tempted to celebrate by going to a strip club for the first time ever, and getting some action...

Ended up just playing Smash Bros until I my dopamine levels bottomed out and I just passed out in bed.

If this depression keeps going, I won't make it to 30.

I've been locked out of my apartment.

I've never been so disappointed.

No Smash Bros. Just pain.

Manifesto updated with new entry.

A quick summary of the past two months and my laments related to them.

What do you do when your friends start attacking each other because of an honest mistake...
...but because of your own messed-up history, you realize that something similar had happened to you as well?

Well, I'm about to simultaneously take a step towards freedom, and also a step away from free time.
My wife is about to come back from California, and begin packing her things... and while I'm still working out of town... I don't know how I can watch her to make sure she doesn't screw me over somehow.

This feeling sucks. I don't trust her... and every weekend is going to be filled with me not unwinding, not having any damn freetime to do anything.

Somebody please end me...

Hope you enjoyed it, I suppose.

There's a girl...

Permanent mood:
Imagine me (my sona) unclothed, but wearing a leather collar with a medal that has "The Universe's Bitch" etched on it, and a bit in my mouth. On my knees, ready to be your servant.
I said "imagine" because I haven't been in the mood to draw at all lately.

The wife came home from her trip to California, and perfectly timed her period begins, and her endometriosis pains return.
So no, she's not contributing yet again at home.
Meanwhile, I'm 3 hrs away in another city, staying in a hotel room every weeknight so I can go into work the next day. Friday evenings are taken up by me driving back to Austin so I can take care of whatever household affairs and chores I can, before leaving for DFW again on Sunday afternoon so I can be there early enough to get a full night's sleep for work the next day.
Oh, and said "work" comprises of simply reporting in and waiting for them to complete processing my background check and drug test. Which they still haven't done. So I don't have an ID issued to me so I can't enter the building without an escort, I don't have a desk to sit at, and I don't have a laptop to work on.
So I'm just wasting time and space.
Just so my wife can continue to have the insurance she needs for her damn medical coverage.

So yes. I do feel like the universe's bottom bitch right now. Thanks for asking.

EDIT: Feel free to draw that. If you want.