Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.

Stop with the notes.

The "Hi" notes.

The notes asking if we can be friends when we've NEVER EXCHANGED A WORD

The notes ASKING FOR MY SKYPE.

You can't have it. The last thing anybody wants is a skype clogged up with people who speak once, then keep you there like a bauble.

I AM NOT A GOOD BAUBLE. I am a cheap, plastic bauble with dints in it which will never last until next christmas.

So... got bored at work and we all did one of those conversation piece thingies, where you're allowed six people at a dinner party and you can pick anyone you want from history, or whatever. It was pretty fun!

SO!

Purely for the fun of it, you're allowed six characters off of FA for your perfect party. Who do you pick?

For me? Tough call, but I'd have to go with...

 veronika-zebra, to lend some much-needed zebra stripes and class to the 'do.
 psykrow, to wear a skimpy waitressing outfit.
 matthewbrandon, to prepare a creamy dessert.
 zhaliz, as a co-host and greeter!
 hailsatan420 as costumier and party-game organizer...
And lastly, a tricky call (given how many ridiculously awesome people I know)
 lunarnio, to make damn sure there's no leftovers. Yes, that's both literal AND an innuendo. <3

Who are yours? Can be anyone, any character, any imaginary setting!

Bring me cuddles.

Awww yiss.

Finally got myself a spandex bodysuit. For reasons I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN TO YOU.

Designed to fit a size 8 woman. FITS LIKE A GLOVE.

I'd prefer it to fit like a bodysuit, but glove will do.

DAMN YOU, POLYURETHANE

Why must you feel so good?

GOD DAMN I'VE NEVER BEEN SO SLEEPY IN MY LIFE

Ah, well. Another three days. Let's DO this.

Send me messages. Tittilating, tantalising or just plain interesting.

I need SOMETHING to help assuage the boredom of night shifts.

Running out of ideas for good outfits for her. >:T

Any good ideas you've got would be appreciated!

Casual wear, fetish gear, cosplay, or just plain ol' fun outfits!

Any of them that get made, I'll take a screenie and tweet it.

SHAMELESS PLUG: https://twitter.com/Tobiwanz

Bear in mind: On a mesh body skirts don't work and belts are a bitch. <3

https://youtu.be/UbQgXeY_zi4

Hooked on this tune, and the music video!

Sometimes I forget exactly what I'm waiting on. ;A;

BUT HERE'S THE LIST AS FAR AS I CAN REMEMBER.

For my own reference. <_>

 pulsar 1x full render.
 discoverychannelofficial 1x split piece. <3
 carmessi 1x 2-character coloured. (Unpaid)
 codeine 1x 2-character sketch.
 dingoringo30 2x 2-character colours. (Unpaid)
 myan 1x 2-character coloursketch.
 bellum 1x 1-character coloursketch.

I feel I've missed some out. HNNG BRAIN WORK HARDER

LIKE SLOPPY WHORES?

Then read. <3

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18628322/

From the sainted hands of your pimpcat himself!

Also features a skip-to-the-action-option. It's called GO TO PAGE 25. <3

READ IT HERE! <3 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18628322/

In this volume, we join our intrepid pimpy twins as they attempt to stave off the police and keep their operation running secretly.

This involves for Tobi some fat back-alley banging, with many a smothering and a ruined backdoor a-gobbling up his pride-and-joy.

For Tabitha, we join her as she sets out to entrap a high-profile client, and get the insurance policy that the PC's Paradise needs to keep the authorities at bay!

...and I'm just sitting here, finally watching One Punch Man.

I love you.

Your hearts, minds, faces, butts and all the gooey, sticky guts that lie inbetween.

So stay beautiful, stay cheery, stay warm, and above all...

...stay tuned to PimpCat FM, 106.9. <3

On the twelfth day of christmas, my pimpcat gave to me...

Twelve asses bouncing,
Eleven hussies hustlin',
Ten sluts a-sucking,
Nine anal reamings,
Eight violent titfucks,
Seven sloppy seconds
Six skanky strippers
FIVE FACE-DEEP RIIIIIIIIMS!
Four moaning sluts
Three fat whores
Twoo-oo jackal butts,
AND AN ASS ON A TINY CAT'S FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

MERRY FUCKIN' CHRISTMAS! <3

We meet an antagonist, make a new "friend" and introduce an old acquaintance.

A tale of two cats, we will explore the highs and lows of hookery conduct.

There well be brashness, beauty, bimboes and blackmail.

There will be detectives, delicacy, delights and debauchery.

On one beautiful hand, we will have a tale of intrigue and shem-dom, in a high-class apartment with a high-class customer who's going to get a whole lot more trouble than he expected.

On the other, grubbier hand, we will have a fruitless search for the king of whores, replete with a back-alley threesome that's sure to earn my soul a place in the Inferno.

And in the middle, the fulcrum, we will introduce a certain someone who's going to be quite a thorn in the side of the PC's Paradise.

Expect both filth and finery in the latest exploits of our entrepreneurial kitties!

Stolen shamelessly from  mei-xing. It DOES look like fun.

Ask a question or make a statement about any character of mine, and I'll tell you whether you're right or wrong. Canon or noncanon! <3

Buy me some butts. c:

Or draw me some!

Or just give me some story ideas. I'm struggling to build up momentum. :C

Love you! <3

I finally finished my first venture into writing a whole world of smut surrounding these beautiful, bountiful booties and a grinning cat.

This volume features:
Three college kids gangbangin' Alisha's hyperass.
Introduces the cover-story for their backalley antics.
Introduces the dysfunctional incestuous relationship between shemale-Tobi and regular-Tobi.
Fleshes out some of the attitudes of Nyomi, Ashlia and Sheila.
Involves some violent semi-consensual cat smothering.

Please please please read it, you'll make my day!

I'll be writing one or two friends into it too, eventually. I'm hoping it can become regular. c:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18528143/

I like to think I'm pretty good at it. (Along with... at least half of FA, probably. Still!)

I get the urge to type up some smut. Takin' all volunteers.

Volunteers, ideas and big-butt deers. ALL WELCOMED!

And don't be afraid to get lewd and descriptive. No holds barred, lads and ladyboys!

I can't find you ANYWHERE!

Report in. I want to give you smooches. <3

Iiiii've been getting kinda down about a lotta stuff recently. And I fear I may have slipped into the hunger for porn and not been appreciating the wonderful people.

In the words of Christopher McCandless, "Happiness is best when shared.".

So!

I'm gonna try and be sweeter and nicer, and more honest with speakin' to people. Less duplicitiousness, less assholishness, just expressing actual feelings in actual words.

...is this how normal people think? >_>;



But I've been doing it for a day and already I feel so much happier! <3

...I'll retain the self-awareness, and try not to be a happy-go-lucky-fuckwit. I mean, gawd. That'd make me an australian.

Because I love to be horribly and violently sexed. Preferably using my face for impossibly long times.

Want in?

Tell me who you are, what you got and what you're gonna do to poor little me. :C

EDIT: To clear up the confusion, yes I want to find some people to horribly sex Tobi. Tell me your refs and what you'd do to me. c:

All of you!

Lots. c:

You complete me. <3

24 today. c:

And I've got eight more straight days of no work! FUCK YEAH! <3

Love you all, you bunch of reprobates.

Had to duck out of work to go to the urgent care building at the local hospital.

Turns out my ingrown toenail has gone septic. Yay!

Now for an hour's wait time to be actually seen. -_-

Because reasons, that's why.

I definitely need an equine, and THAT'S already in the pipeline. Just waitin' on getting to see a little more of her. For a sneaky preview you can take a look-see at "Griftin' ain't easy". Hur hur.

Secondly, some kind of synthetic hookerbot. EVERY TIME I try one of those it never turns out how I wanted. BUUUUT! Inspired by  simonaquarius' Cyberpunk Amanda, I think something in this vein could be VERY fun indeed. Oh, yes.

Thoughts and ideas welcomed. >:D

I get so many boners for them.

AND YET

It's always reaaaaally weird going "YO, Mind if I get art of mexyou?"

So weird and galling and trying-to-avoid-being-joe-furry-creepy.

And 9 DAYS TO GOOOOOO

JUST 5 MORE DAYS OF WORK UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY 9 DAYS OFF.

09/12/1991 a new legend of smut peddling was born, and there was no rejoicing. <3