Grrrreetings!

It has been ages since I've been on, much less active.

A few updates. Single, again. Still healing, but one day at a time. Hanging out at AnthroCon. Been sketching some the last few days. Gonna get them posted when I get home.

Unemployed currently. Have had promising starts, but seem to have trouble landing the job.

You lot have been fucking busy. Nearly 30K submissions to at least browse.

A pandemic was a fucking wild ride. Would not recommend again.

Also, CyberConnect2 was at AnthroCon! Sooooo awesome!

Didn't post much about it, but yes, this big cat is in Pittsburgh and hopefully will run into some friends. Hi out there!

Wow, this has been a weird month and some change... Not even sure where to start. Hell, this entire year has been the most unpleasant roller coaster imaginable, and I'm a G-force junkie!

Anyway, it had a surprisingly good start. Finally got to see The Protomen in concert and got exposed to another band (TWRP) the same night that has all kinds of awesome too. And went for the second night because it was that good. I'd also started a relationship with someone I thought was finally the one. Typical LDR it seemed, but she made me smile and well, there's more to that story as we go.

Then we have the three months of isolation. I was already behind in my FA messages (catching up to that point now, lol) and honestly didn't feel the need to do anything more than exist. It was a depressing existence, but I was trying to do my part to keep from getting sick or ruining the health of my roomies. That lady was still in my life and things seemed to be going well enough.

Went back to work and it was nice to have a mission again, something to do to keep my mind off of just how depressing it was being still alone physically. Had lots of frustration with people refusing to wear their masks properly and physically distance. Still frustrating, but only so much you can do. It was a few weeks after returning to working with people that things started to go... sideways with the lady. She became distant and any time I asked to find out what was wrong, she either deflected or outright vanished. I'm a patient guy and figured that she just had some things to deal with that she wasn't ready to talk to me about yet. It happens.

It was about two weeks before my birthday that things really went absolutely bat shit. I was messaged by someone asking about the woman I thought was the one I'd end up married to. The information provided was outright terrible and on the nose... and when I sent messages asking about it, all I got still was more silence. She and this other guy had been in a relationship from the time that she'd started going silent on me, and when he messaged me, it was because she was starting to do the same to him. I sent a final message to her, ending things and unlinked everything immediately. Never blocked though. I would have given her the chance to explain, but haven't heard a peep. It's probably for the best.

By this point, I'd become good friends with several in a community on SL... and this is where things take a big upswing. There were plenty to help me recover and one special one that... I'd started to feel a special connection with even before the breakup, but I had to deny in my heart because I was spoken for. That didn't stop her from being an incredible friend though, and the one who talked me through the maze that had formed in my mind.

It turned out that she'd been interested in me as well, but didn't act for a similar reason. She knew I was unavailable and even after didn't make any push to.

It was during my recovery that we finally admitted the feelings and started down our own crazy stretch of life over the last month... we became official the day before my birthday. It's an even longer LDR, but this one feels like a real chance of success. We were friends and trusted each other before starting down this road. Any question I've ever asked has been answered with honesty... almost brutal to a point, but I respect and prefer that. She stands in my heart now and hopefully will until the end of my days.

I'm still working on coming to grips with her being poly. At first, honestly, I didn't think I'd be able to accept it at all, but as we talked, I knew that I didn't want to remove her from the people in her life that make her happy just to satisfy my selfish desire. I can't be that heartless. It's still not been an easy transition and have had a couple days where my jealousy has overridden my good judgement, but we're working through it. Most of our time together is spent in SecondLife, where I'm even a DJ now and loving when I do my shows... especially when she's there with me. I feel complete with her in my life in a way I honestly never expected to feel.

So, who is this wonderful lady you ask?  Kyrellyan I love you more than I'll ever be able to say.

And that catches us up to about where we are now. I hope everyone is staying well in these times and I look forward to hopefully getting out of this funk that's been keeping my drawing hand far too idle.

Back to the message cleanup. You naughty guys and gals have been busy while I was distracted. :3

The last few months, I had been in a long distance relationship... and things were working. A few months ago, there were some minor issues, but it seemed we had worked them out.

Oh boy was I wrong. I won't be sharing information about her directly, but as best I can reconstruct the timing, about the time we had a few waves, she started seeing someone else behind my back. Now if she'd told me, I would have been hurt and moved on. Instead she kept silent and even went into a deep silence for over a month.

Two days ago, the other guy contacted me, trying to figure out the username that kept coming up with his girlfriend. Together we figured out that it was the same person.

I sent the message to her, wishing her well with whomever she managed to find, as it obviously wouldn't be with me. She's not responded and frankly I don't care if she does anymore.

Now that I have that out of the way, strike up the band with the soul bossa nova. I'm single again baby! https://youtu.be/T5ALPzS0QfQ

Seriously though, I'm hurting a lot, but it could have been worse. She did me dirty, but also helped me in some other ways. All in all D-.

I hope everyone is all right during these trying times. It's been a roller coaster here, but I'm holding up well.

After months of dredging through YouTube, furlough ended and I got back to work. Still working on getting guests to physically distance and wear masks properly, but it is getting easier.

A bit of big news is that starting this Sunday, I'll be doing live performances as a DJ in Second Life. The first show will be extra special since I'm opening a day long stream (of multiple performers) to raise money for charity.

If you're on SL or know someone who is to stop by The Feline Conspiracy on Sunday.

My set starts at 06:00 SLT (PDT) and goes until 9 for a 3 hour opening extravaganza with all tips being donated to Roswell Cancer Institute and awareness for Angiosarcoma.

http://www.Angiosarcoma.org

See you there.

Today is the first day back to work. No guests yet, so it's pretty surreal.

The last several months have been... weird. I've been in full lockdown in my home because one of my roomies has a weak immune system. As I tell him all the time, I'm not diggin' holes. There were days that I'd lay in bed and debate if I even wanted to bother getting up or even showering.

Then there's drawing. I got some sketches done in spurts as I'm working on some Telegram stickers for a friend and a ref sheet for my girlfriend. My lovely kitty is how I've managed to keep from diving off the deep end. Sadly none of it is complete enough for posting. It's hard to complete a work when you don't see a point in getting out of bed.

Seeing things as we prepare for reopen here at the park is surreal to say the least. It's still helping me get moving again.

Miss you all so much and hopefully soon I'll get to the huge backlog of submissions you all have posted.

I know I've been quiet. Life keeps throwing curve balls and frankly, sometimes it takes all I have to get out of bed in the morning.

And then something important comes up. Something bigger than myself or my self interests. A friend needs help. I'll be doing everything I can, but I know this is bigger than I can handle.

My friend  Marpsy and a whole family of furs has been told to leave their apartment within a month. What is being asked for is difficult at best and in their situation, I'd find it impossible without help. The whole story is in the GoFundMe link. Give if you can, even if you can't, signal boost and let's get these guys into a home again.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-fou.....f+share-flow-1

Thanks,
-Tora

Sooo... about that journal yesterday... yep, broke up. At least this one wasn't drawn out and we weren't living together. It still sucks.

She found herself questioning and I understand that she still wanted to figure herself out.

That said, I'm single again. Anyone know a single lady who might like a sweetly naughty tiger? Preferably one that wants kids?

My second year at a fantastic con and it was a total blast in the new hotel we got for this year. The convention center at the Caribe Royale was absolutely spacious and the vast majority of the space where a fursuiter would be was air conditioned instead of having to venture into the heat like last year at the double tree. This year was a little different since I actually stayed at the convention hotel and got to attend the late night events. That will be my preferred method of attendance from now on... with an extra day so I can be there for loadout.

Things got started on Thursday when I picked up one of my con buddies/roomies and really good friend,  XvPandavX. Roomie Settarius Maximus joined us as well. Day 0 of the con was a simple pick up of con badges, meet some other early arriving friends and mostly get a feel for the space.

Day 1 was a bit more exciting and felt like my busiest day as I hit as many panels as I could. Unlike last year, I won't be listing them out, but I will say that it's inspired me to start working on changing how I work on art. A past relationship drained the fuck out of me and still does from time to time. I'd like for my art to help me in taking control back, gripping by the balls until I've got myself out of the funk I've been in for too damn long. I also spent more money in the Dealer's room than I should have, starting with a Snow Leopard Kigu... mostly since they didn't have a tiger. Also grabbed some art books and another Daki pillowcase. I need to get some actual pillows to go in them.

Day 2 was the one I was most looking forward to since that night had con chairs unleashed and Alkali got to make his appearance, the highlight being the 'oatmeal' story. I hit several of his panels through the weekend. I especially loved Who's Lion. I was in the Questions only game, flubbed horribly, but he helped in playing along while I went into some physical comedy. Next year, I need to warm up a little before doing that again.

Day 3 was kinda bittersweet. Had to take Panda back to the airport so that she could fly home. By the time I got back from the airport, closing ceremonies were pretty much over, so I picked up Sett to go home.

We came back the next day for loadout to get volunteer time for next year's con admission. It was a lot of fun and they take the 'over under' winding seriously. There's a big paddle waiting for someone to fuck up.

So, that was MegaPLEX in a tiny nutshell.

As mentioned, I do now own three Daki cases, but no pillow to fill them out. I'm considering doing commissions in exchange for some quality pillows. Anyone interested?

Also, enabled shinies at last and it's about time I gave a link to my discord server. It's still being edited and structured, but I feel it's time for a proper stress test. Come and play here. https://discord.gg/4WJtmn (24 hour window only)

Wow, this was a harsh day. Getting sick while at work, and then on the way home, essentially getting robbed. It's a long ass story on the second half. The important parts though are that I'm alive and not injured. I have reported their asses to the police and the amount wasn't enough to damage my ability to pay rent. I even made sure that they would be in pretty clear view of one of the cameras at a bank where I frequently go. When all the pieces fall into place, I feel like I made out like a bandit. Thankfully having family in law enforcement helped me to get the police as much as I could and think quickly enough to keep from finding out if they were armed or not.

Now to enjoy a few days off fighting off this cold.

I've been lurking about. Been through some rough times in the last year. It seems the same every year since my move to Florida. I know things will get better with time, but it's bothering me that the last few times I thought I'd seen the light at the end of the tunnel, it turned out to be a train I've narrowing avoided.

At least pay at work is finally to where I don't have to work 50+ hours a week just to pay the bills. Now I just need time to rest, try dating again and draw. Not specifically in that order.

Played through Breath of the Wild. Koroks are everywhere.

Well, I'm home from the con and I have to say... it was surprisingly fun. Most of my watchers know I come from a history of medium to large cons. AnimeNEXT especially. MegaPLEX was my first fur con and I wasn't expecting so comparatively few people. I also wasn't expecting to run into a coworker and now we share being furries.

Anyway, the first day, I show up stag, only barely expecting to bump into maybe  turbomcgogo. Since I was pre registered, it was easy to get my badge and head to opening ceremonies. Afterwards, I hit the panel hosted by the con chair himself "So This Is Your 1st Furry Convention". It was a lot of laughs, but informative about things I did need to know for the weekend, especially handsigns from the suiters and how restricted their field of vision is. Afterwards, I browsed the dealer's den and saw just how... limited it was compared to what I was used to at Anime cons. Picked up gifts for roomies since they got stuff for me at Megacon. As I'm getting ready to go to the "Fursuit Maker Horror Stories" (18+) panel, hosted by Candy, my coworker Clover* recognizes me by my water bottle. I didn't do much that day besides just take in the new sort of environment. Since we were staying for the next panel anyway, Clover, her roomie Bones and I stuck around for the "Help Desk Rant" (18+) panel as well before I headed home... early really since I had to be up at 5 to take my roomie to work. Bleh.

Second day was the most crowded. Before the day even started, I was sketching something I'm very happy to show off once I scan it in and extend the canvas in SAI.... I was a little crazy and went off of 3 edges of the paper. Ended up talking to  EZDbud in the dealer's den and it turned out he knew my character. @_@ I NEVER expected to run into someone who knew my work and seemed to like it.  VixyyFox hosted a panel on Thursday Prompt. It was interesting and kinda fun. I had a boatload of Dr Pepper with me, so as he handed out books, I handed him a bottle. The Fursuit parade had more suits than I expected, including Bones W/Clover as the handler. It also had a lot of awkward pauses because it was a touch disorganized. It was awesome seeing some of the last crew dancing to Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride. Went to the panel "Well Everyone, I'm A Furry" hosted by Sendemi and Argon of Agents of Mirth. That evening I went to a home buying panel with Clover, hosted by R J Featherworth. Since I am considering getting a more permanent place, it was definitely a good place to be. Ended the night at the Art Jam. I was tired and feeling off, so I cheated using my ghost kitsune Narumi coming through a wall so I wouldn't have to draw hands, feet or tails.

Today was the last day and the day I did the most buying... all on the naughty side with an 'orgasm donor' keychain, a female cheetah daki (NSFW), and a bondage artbook. The last of which is all males. Not my cup of tea, but good reference material. I have a roomie who will appreciate it... perhaps too much. Hit back to back to back panels "Furries Now!: Undergraduate Research in Furdom" hosted by Jay D, "How to Start a Business in the Furry Fandom (or Anywhere!)" hosted by Vitai Slade and "Switch-On to the Mode: Drawing" hosted by one of this year's GoH, Paco Panda. Through all three panels, I was lightly sketching and finished what I hope will be my first official artwork conbadge to wear next year.

I managed to do a bunch of sketching over the weekend. I'll be scanning those soon. One will not appear though, it's of a Metroid that I gave to a guy who was at the art jam table.  Arta_Shrike

All in all it was fun and I'm considering going back next year... with more money and hopefully more friends.

*Clover is the fursona name. Real name hidden to protect jobs.

It feels so weird being at a con of any sort after so long. Sitting in the main ballroom for opening ceremonies now. If you're here, let me know. I'm eager to meet some new people.

I was waiting until after I had registered before making any posts. It's official now, Torakazu will be at MegaPLEX this year in Orlando!

This will be my first ever fur con and my first in several years. It's been a long while since my last time at AnimeNEXT. I'm both scared and excited to see how different it will be and hopefully I'll get to meet some of the artists I've followed for ages.

I'm also hoping that this will be the kick start I need after so many failed and false starts to get drawing again. It feels like I've been in a constant downward spiral of depression and that needs to change.

So, anyone else going to this con in August?

Holy crap I hate how lng it's been for me. I've finally gotten things mostly stable now, so I can finally give up the starting at 8 am crap. By the time I've been getting home, I don't have the energy to think, much less draw. Starting on Tuesday, I'll be starting at 10, and I'll have a couple hours each day to get caught up on messages and sketch.

My current projects are a bunch of things for ContessaSkunk, getting Celeste finished with that first naughty pic and a couple for my old friend Nyaasu that I've not had the time to do. I'm gonna knock those out asap before returning to some personal work and maybe another stab at commissions.

Just thinking about the shift in hours is helping me feel better.

Been thinking about a few things that I haven't done, but as a proud geek, I've missed put on. One of those things is Dungeons and Dragons. I've never had a real chance to play short of the Tiny Tina DLC in Borderlands 2.

That said, I'd like to try it. Would anyone like to join me one night a week for a game online? I'm thinking of playing with Discord chat and maybe finding a free map or two. An experienced DM would be especially nice. I sure as hell don't know what I'm doing yet. At least I have an app that gives me all the dice I need.

I need to stop vanishing for weeks at a time. It's been crazy working for a mouse and dealing with the roomies. Anyway, I'm starting to really feel like my old self again and hopefully it won't go down in flames right after I hit the 'post' button.

I'm in the process of getting ready to go to my first fur con. I secured the time off for Megaplex here in Orlando and once registration opens, I'll be securing a weekend pass. It will be my first ever fur con and I'm excited. Will anyone else be going?

Some good news at last. After eight months of pain and tears riding the bus to and from work, I finally have some wheels!

There was a deal on a 2014 Chevy Cruze that was a little too good to pass up. It's the LT model as well, so it has lots of extra bells and whistles. The most important of which was working air conditioning. ... and it's not painted white!

Insurance costs too much here in Orlando, but I'll do what I can to get a better price soon.

The best part was how easy financing was through my own bank. Low payments at a better rate than most dealers can offer.

Anyway, I'm gushing. How is everyone else today?

... you know... I feel like drawing boobs again....

Well... I guess that's that. No one bid on the auction slot even after an extension.

I can take a hint. I'm not interesting enough to commission nor does anyone want to pay for my work. I draw this conclusion not because there were no bids or sales, but no one even talks to me with any sign of interest.

Knowing this, I'm shutting down commissions and streams for the foreseeable future. If I post anything, it's because I want to. Not that anyone cares anyway.

Ja ne.

The YCH with Celeste will be open until 1 PM EST. If no bids placed by then, I guess it will be best to put it away.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22666947/ NSFW warning

Even if you can't bid, please spread the word. Thanks.

The auction ends in less than twenty minutes. If no one bids, no one wins and the price will not go lower. I may extend the deadline, but not without at least some feedback.

My YCH auction is still going until 8 PM tomorrow. If you're interested in some mousey oral fun, then don't miss out and place your bid.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22666947/ NSFW warning

My YCH auction is still going. Drop in, place a bid and let's see if some more money can be raised.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22666947/ NSFW WARNING

Never thought I'd do one of these, but before, I hadn't really felt inspired to do it. Getting Celeste kinda changed that. She's not tied to any of my stories (yet) and is free in my mind to play around with just about anyone. Her intended occupation as a alternative medicine healer and massage therapist made my idea all too easy.

Picture if you will, being a phallus owning client of hers and during one of her treatments, she decides to give a little bonus, a happy ending. That could be you in this pic below.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22666947/

All proceeds will be going to helping me get a new car.

If you can't join, feel free to signal boost. Please.

 Settaro is doing a raffle on DeviantArt. Go check it out.

http://settaro.deviantart.com/journ.....ffle-656543215