so the convention is coming up really soon...
as in a few day...
on the 13th i will drive to my lovey and stay the night there,
then on the 14th we shall embark on to go to the con
....
and so the first ever in SA there is a furry convention
SAFC aka, South-Africa Fur Con
from 14th till the 17th
me and my mate will be spending time and will also be doing some fursuit stuff...

Yes He is making a partial fursuit of a sergal that has a funny name(not Syleron)...
This sergal is black and orange, and will be bouncing around the con with his mate the blue and white great Dane...

A GoPro has been obtained and there will be a lot of vids which will be put into a massive con vid... hope you all are excited as i am

so I've come to a decision that i'm going to stop doing artwork...

It's been fun making it and seeing people smile, but now I don't see smiles anymore .
My skills are still available for those who want color to their art but I Have put down the pencil and brush forever

and i'm not going to disappear, I'll still be here looking at other people's art and supporting
but my journey has come to an end

Last of all I'd like to thank the people that supported me and showed me true kindness, for that I'll be ever thankful

Last pic I've drawn :
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17035101/

haaaaay everyone.
this is a update to say that I am returning to posting.
I am finally out of my depression and ready....
though I lost all my friend and some I thought actually CARED for me (no names sal be called)
only a few helped me back to where I am now and thanks to those...

METALUS is back in action baby

Hi everyone
you all thought i was dead, and yes I did try to kill myself......
here are the reasons:---
people that "loved and cared" for me left me causing me to fall into a deep DEEP depression.... worse is all have gone and on one cared if I was really dead or alive, and that was the last part, causing me to OD on meds
.......
so I learnt that No one really ever cared for me and that caused me to try a second time.... but that made me realize that there is no one that will safe me and i need help..... so I went to mental care clinic to heal... i'm in my last week and when I get out I will face the world alone because no one remembers me or care
.......
so back to my old lonesome self..... no one around to help....

and i SWEAR people that say I'm here form you and did not even try to contact me..... those are the ones that caused me to do what i did...... but you know what i forgive them because they are who they are, I realized that I can't change anyone.....

So life goes on

If a moth flies to the light, does it know what it is, and what it holds
Whether it's a lamp, flashlight or FLAME

The light isn't always good... Light can kill, hurt and show flaws
In the light we are nothing, only darkness accepts all

Whether Big or small, Strong or weak... the darknesscovers us and hides us from the horrors of the light
I lost all to the light and thus, I give my life to the darkness... ridding this world of one person...

ME

This is my final post.
thank all of you that shared in my troubles, it's sad that I'm going to go...
but fate has decided to end it... Please don't be sad all of you still have a long way to go.....
Goodbye, and be blessed

[self interpretation]
WOW, depression is the best thing ever. It shows your own faults and are holes, mine is so big the grand canyon would be ashamed. it's not like i'm sad, no I'm just in the mood to kill myself, it's not like anyone will miss me... I can't draw... can't make music... nothing. that is why I have no choice in life... it was great till now but I have go

For some this is a wonderful time full of joy and excitement....
But not all people look to new years like that. people usually say 'leave the past behind you', and yes that is a good thing to do.
on the other end some can't do that, They live on borrowed time living each day with the hope of seeing the next...

I hope 2015 holds many wonders and experiences, Keep just one thing in mind....
Each day is a gift and that's why it's called the present.... hold it dear to your hart

Song for the moment ->
To The Moon OST - Everything will be Okey

So nothing happened much good or bad everything happened on a neutral level, here is two examples
1. found out that the someone I like doesn't want me but finds comfort and peace in my own solitude
2. Get no gifts on Christmas while rest of my family get something BUT two days later get a gift on steam from someone i know

So yea its all neutral things good balance out the bad....
HAHA... so see you all next year XD

Merry Furry Christmas

I hope all of you furries enjoy Christmas...
Be with family and friends, Laugh, drink and enjoy the day for only once a year we all forget about our troubles and smile to everyone.

As for me, a lonely Christmas with some art to do.... yes my whole family is here but even on Christmas I am pushed away....
But I'm not going to let that spoil my mood I'm going to enjoy it listening to good music drinking wine and eating cake.

And if all goes well I'll get lots of art done for next week ;)

Song of the week :->
Rave Radio & Chris Willis - Feel The Love (Reece Low Remix)

[Good stuff of the week]
Yay... I started drawing again and actually did 2 commissions...

[Bad Stuff of the week]
Once again My life is more bad the good after I got out of the hospital... things got worse... I now only wish I did I better job.... the one Person I loved... Is gone, No text, No Call... I lost my heart and soul... I can't go on, but doing the same thing is not going to solve my sorrows.... I am stuck in a dark place with no light near me....

[Good stuff of the week]
Well I somewhat calmed down a bit not feeling too bad... this week my mind started to think about certain stuff that made me smile a lot, but that did not last long...

[Bad Stuff of the week]
I know there are a lot of people that care for me, But sometimes there are thing that change... Most of them that I tried to talk to spoke to me... only a short while after they stop, And I feel like I am bothering them. So for the last two days I talked almost nothing because there is a saying "If you love something... let it go"... And so I did, It made me cry lots of times but I just said to myself... If they care they will stay (Not like my previous friend). And all this emotional turmoil left me with no art to post.... because I am too worried about others my own art has suffered.... I only hope that I can finish so for the week to come....

[Good stuff of the week]
NOTHING.... that's what comes to mind...

[Bad Stuff of the week]
All things are going wrong from moods to parents to power and people I love.... First is that I am once again in the mood where nothing helps me everyone tries to make me feel better but I only makes me feel worse, and the fact that my parents aren't very supporting makes it worse, that feeling of being alone and no one around, And each time I want to start doing something like talk to the people I love or draw something the power goes out and takes about 5 hours to come back on, And worst of this week is that the two people I love the most started to hate each other and it made me feel like it's my fault... They said that they talked it out but it seems to me like it only got worse... now both of them are not talking as much as they use to..... at that time I wrote my feelings down(http://tripplepoint.deviantart.com/.....left-498808427) And now here I am today, feeling like nothing.....

[Good stuff of the week]
not much, just that I met my second SA furry, it was great he is a good guy fun to talk to and if I dare say so, kind of cute.... so that was all...

[Bad Stuff of the week]
lets start at the beginning with a shit lot of bad things. first was when my parents scolded me, but this one was way different, the biggest point was when my mother told me she rather see me dead... that actually pushed me right to the edge, to the point where I had a gun in my hand.... but I knew that there must be something or someone out there that will make my life better... and the biggest upset to me was when I when to meet my furry friend.... he kept saying for weeks that he wanted to tell me something big.... BUT i was a DUMB shy FUCK not to ask him the right thing and I kept on babbling on not even giving him a chance to as me some things that he wanted to know..... So my week went from bad to worse to absolutely shit...... and the coming week doesn't look good too....

[Good stuff of the week]
Oh dear, I never thought that people could care so much about me... even when they don't know me all that well... I feel so loved. So now I can take on the world

[Bad Stuff of the week]
hmmmm, not much bad things only one thing that I could not meet up with some furs

Starting with the good things this time...

[Good stuff of the week]
Finally I can start on some color work so happy that it's finally happening(more like I have the time) and just so much thing happening that makes me smile... planning furmeets and LANs all around so there will never be a dull moment.... AWWWWW YEEEAAAAH super fun times are coming, I might even start doing commissions on FA too :) so much happy right now.

[Bad Stuff of the week]
Now to sour the mood .... As all good thing also bring bad, losing a very good friend is not something that should be taken lightly(he's not dead, don't worry)... because of one night of down mood he misunderstood everything and now he is gone... I don't have many people in my life and to loss one really brings down my mood to the point where I don't wanna do anything anymore......


(Art will be uploaded somewhere in this week... Have a great week and see you next Sunday)

[Bad stuff of the week]
So exams started and that is enough to justify bad, but worse it that I am starting to feel the people around me moving away, like I have some kind of disease... And it also makes me not want to talk to anyone, kind of like to avoid alienating them any further, I only feel like disappearing.

[Good Stuff of the week]
not much to say here, just to point out that I have caring people around even if it is only two or three, I'm so happy to know them and that they are always there to cheer me up....


( As a note I will start to do more art on Wednesday after my exams ... XD )

So A very very good friend suggested I do two journals on FA.... on good and one bad... to tell the good things from the bad ...

[Bad stuff]
This week started of still majorly depressed and I wondered if anything really mattered, I did get anything done... no art... no RP... not even studying. I was in a complete wreck... and some people didn't realize that I felt lonely and just kept talking how happy he was..... it was not on purpose but still made me sad..

[good stuff]
after meeting a wonderful guy, everything just got brighter... I started laughing again doing work both study and art. I also found out that lots of people actually like my art style, I really think that I'm not that good but if more then ten people tell you that simultaneous, I must be doing something right.... also had some loving support from my other good friends too(Mitch, Lurigo and Dragi_king)....


So yea, from now my FA journals will be portraying my emotions and on DA my progress :)
Hope you all have a wonderful week .....

I ... Feel ... like SHIT.....
I tried to make me feel better this week but every time I do, it gets worse. Sat yesterday on my bed crying for almost an hour(My mind was not my own).. after that I went to draw so pictures to calm me down but I just kept the tears from falling on the paper .... So now I'm not even going to try and improve my mood... I turned off my phone so that I don't have distractions.... Only I can cure my own maddened Mind.

Hopefully You'll all see my work I've done tomorrow on DA

So after not being on FA for a long while, because of the DDos situation.... I'm back. HUH? I really need to think of something better to talk about, or else I'm going to make the rest depressed too... But I can't help it when you are lonely and everybody is happy around you with their mates..... :( ..... it really hurts, especially when you find that someone you like and then their already taken or ignores you.... AGGGGGG ... I'M GONNA STOP.... Need some time to think and draw..... "may the ancestors watch over us and guide us to better days"

song of the week ->
Two Steps From Hell - Forever in my Dreams

So these past few days of vacation felt great , but something was missing.... good company and I didn't have that. I felt empty, sad, devoid of happiness .... The bright side is that I then met wonderful Furries in my life. They helped me see the better side of life and kept me away from the dark corner of my mind. I have them to thank for all my happiness they helped me a lot.... Thanks to Yote, Snow, Elyk and Direwolf .... True friends are very rare to find

Song of the week -> Colors of the rainbow - Tune-Up vs. Italobrothers

So I started this account for the reason that I feel all furries should have this account even if you won't submit anything, you should have this account to be part of this wonderful community.... As for me I'll only submit my color Images here and maybe something more, because I'm already doing the same on DeviantArt(http://tripplepoint.deviantart.com/), but There I also submit the WIP art.....

I'll be here because I want to no more no less....

Listening to -> DJ Snake - Turn Down For What (MO BUTT PROPANE REMIX)