I never said anything about the new year, too late considering it's February already... I'm excited for next month though, going to Furnal Equinox in March, finally I'll be able to get out, and do something... But I guess I'm kind of nervous and freaked out for various reasons... I dunno I have so many mixed feelings.

I know, I still haven't been posting stuff, and I didn't do something I said I was going to, I wanted to write a story, and don't get me wrong I WILL, and I will also post more music but right now I'm going through a lot, my grandmother is in the hospital and she will die soon, this is going to be a major set back to me and my family because I am already kind of identified as a poor person, and it will get worse when she's gone... Currently I'm trying to find a place to move, so, wish me luck I guess.

I really don't know how to feel right now, it's been a while since I've posted anything, and I've been idly working on some stuff so I'll have like a small list, but honestly I'm not feeling the greatest, I was sick for about a week, and my birthday just passed yesterday, but eh.

Do you know that feeling... Where you're dying inside? Like there's such a cluster of shit flying around you and it's so stressful that you can't even do anything for yourself? Like your room becomes a mess, you can't even leave it to shower, or brush your teeth, or go spend time with your family? You try to act like your fine, or you tell your family. "It'll all be sorted out." When they're already so worried as it is? Sometimes I don't even feel this depressive state and yet I still can't leave this room, I barely ever to, I don't know why I'm so glued to technology and I don't know why I'm so glued to my feelings, I just can't take it anymore.

I knew this would happen but someone started using my art on F-list. One of my friends kept telling me to feel flattered but I don't, because it's my character, I don't want it being put through their... "Fantasies"? There's a lot more to it than that, but I'm currently dealing with the situation. Wish me luck :L

I might keep posting some music, stuff that I've already done and have yet to upload, but I'm not gonna make anything new for a bit, my stress is beginning to overwhelm me, and I feel like I need some breaks, working on music will be put on hold, but I can idly post some older things, sorry for the inconvenience, but... I'm just not feeling it right now.

Okay, guys, I might be crazy, but did I ever upload a piano cover of Deoxys' theme onto my FA?

So, I learned something, I'm not going to write the post apocalyptic story for a while, because one, I'm changing it severely, two, it's very structured, and I should probably start out with something smaller first, although it may affect my plans for what I originally wanted to write, that's okay, because I'll figure it out, but I'm going to start writing a new story, in which case that'll be what I start suddenly posting on my FA.

So I decided I'm still writing a post apocalyptic story, but I'm changing quite a few things around, I'll have it up eventually... But I'm still stressed, so, it will take time. >.>

So, I know I said a day ago that I'm gonna be posting the story and stuff, but it might be a while, I will not forget to do it, but I've been feeling quite down lately, so, I'm not as productive right now.

I decided that I'm gonna write the story I was talking about, I figure I might post the character biographies I was writing when I'm done, it's not that I'm trying to spoil characters, more so give a better idea of how they are, unless I really shouldn't do that, just... Knowing how this will go, and you know, the fact there are furries in the story, I just figured it would make more sense to post details.

I'm planning on writing a post apocalyptic story, I'm questioning whether to just start idly posting it in parts on here... So I'm gonna give the general idea and atmosphere of the story, kind of, nothing extreme. It's a non-sexual story- Kind of, so uh, here you go, tell me whether it's a good idea or not, also, this is a rough copy of what I jotted down, so... Enjoy?

The idea: A post apocalyptic world where the government fights off both distorted beasts, and rebellious survival groups. The story takes place where Evan, a young, red dragon leads one of those groups, Alex is his tech boy, his father Darrell is part of the group. Mutants are a common enemy, there’s different kind, some are a little preposterous. Despite the world being post apocalyptic, there are still problems, fighting against the military is one step no one should take, they reside within a strong military base, located on somewhat high ground that has a specific weapon system that builds up radiation, levels higher than anyone can withstand at this time, and it is released in a thick mist, obviously people have to hole up in underground caverns, and it only takes a few hours to dissipate, but survival is really hard, it’s weird to think how the military has created a whole new kind of weather. Evan is surely the right leader, he is pretty convincing, to be able to trade anything for firearms, supplies, he’s managed to cheat his way through a few deals just to ensure that everyone is okay. They have not encountered many struggles yet, but that will probably soon come into play. Alex as said before, is in charge of technology, he keeps the group advanced as possible, he’s been able to keep up with the times, at least sort of, give him the right parts and he could construct just about anything in no time, depending on how big it is, he’s not the most cut out for field work, but he has definitely been determined to go on a mission regardless… Just like Evan’s father. Evan fears his father’s safety, assuming he’s too old to do anything, but his father looked more fit in the first place, probably proving him wrong, he was just as good of a leader in other ways, so he started to handle training the parts of the group that were focused on patrolling, and especially ones that were going to be sent out. So far they haven’t taken many casualties, beast attacks are inevitable, so those are the only real losses. Drama is yet to appear at any given moment. The enemy however, Evan made rivals out of two of their best workers so far, one’s a gator of some sort named Kalvin, the other is a yellow skinned bat named Dave… They’re ridiculous, but seem pretty determined to wipe the rebellious group out, they’re so paranoid that they heavily guard any transport units though. Evan has wanted to raid those transport units so badly, radiation suits are in some of them, which would help against the radioactive mist.

How depressing, I missed being in Toronto, wish I could live there, I'd never be sad. Anyway, meant to do a journal daily at the con, but I failed, I got a thing though! I'll probably take a picture and post it up soon, anyway, ugh.

Haven't gotten there yet, just kind of chilling until my ride comes back, I'm excited to go, my nausea isn't as bad today, let's just hope it doesn't act up in the middle of it, then I'll have to turn to a friend to like shelter me until I feel better, not that I really have a problem with that.

I'm excited for tomorrow, cause it's the con, I'm already at my friend's apartment, it's great here, but I had more motivation to push through my sickness and come anyway, I'm glad I did, I'll never regret this.

I haven't posted any music for a bit because I was sick, I had a fever of 104.9 was vomiting, and it was hell, my entire family had the flu so first I had to take care of them, until it came onto me as well, I felt weighted to my bed, it was awful, I'm doing better, I finally ate after three days of starving because I was too afraid to eat, and I'm making progress, two days until FE, all that's left is to conquer this light-headed feeling, I'm sure it will pass, anyway, I'm continuing to take a break because of the convention, I need to finally take this time to pack, and be ready to go, and also pray that I don't see one of my ex's there, but I'm sure they wont recognize me.

Can't wait to go, and stuff, since it's my first con. It's probably the worst thing to start with, seeing as it's in our biggest city, but I'm sure it'll be fine... Maybe doing something new will inspire me to make some kind of song, I dunno.

I made this profile like one day after my birthday, and only yesterday did I really finish it, kind of, I guess I'd tweak anything that I might find wrong, but, you know, I guess I'm getting a little anxious, somehow...