So, it's nice that they're allowing people to voice feedback on the change (something they should have done ages ago... but I digress.) Gonna post this to the proper channels, but thought I'd mention it here to air my thoughts on how this rule should be implemented.

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1: The anti-cub rule needs a lighter touch. The responses to tickets painted a picture that this was more about rooting out hidden pedophiles than protecting anyone, and that the admins were willing to throw out anyone who they had just the faintest suspicions of. That's not a good look, it feels like witch hunts almost, and creates an environment where people are terrified of coming under suspicion. That's really where a lot of the pushback came from, this feeling that it would be incredibly easy to fall under suspicion even if you weren't doing anything wrong, that even if everything you currently had was deemed ok, t his was not a safe place to say because something you add down the road might sway just a *bit* too close, or another mod may make a different ruling on things you were told were ok.

I think it's worth considering WHY having cub porn here is banned. A pedophile finding something attractive is not inherently harmful to children, what is harmful is using it to groom minors. It's the danger of normalizing sexual content with children, and I feel that danger is only really present when the character is *presented* as a child. When I say that, I don't mean "their proportions may be close to a child's" like how the rule was enforced, I mean that it's obvious that the author intended for the character to be a child, or at least represent one. Without that obviousness, it's not really normalizing the behavior IMO.

I would look more to things like how the character is represented as compared to other depictions of the species and especially compared to other characters by the artist. Even for a lot of pokemon and digimon with childlike proportions, I don't imagine most people will look at them and think "that's meant to be a child" because they're not represented as such in the media where they come from, not unless the artist goes out of their way to make them even *more* childlike in either appearance or context.

TL;DR I feel action should be taken if the character is obviously meant to represent a child, but only when it is obvious. This would minimize harm done to minors without branding innocent artists as pedophiles.

2: FFS remove that bit about minors being ok in "SFW" kinks like vore and transformation. Yeah, stuff like that may appear in cartoons and games, but they're not the *focus* of the piece. At the end of the day regardless of whether any sexual acts are performed in them, kink pieces are there for people to jack off to, and minors should not be in them.

Of all the ways this recent FA stuff could have ended, just... wow. What the fuck.

So, Sandy is likely still banned. Haven't submitted a trouble ticket, honestly not going to because I fully expect that even if one mod says it's ok, another mod might give me a strike over him. Also despite them directly addressing them, I really don't expect them to ACTUALLY properly draw a line between shortstacks and children. So, yeah.

That said, apparently I can still post oral vore pics with Sandy! Because apparently despite this all being a part of that whole "let's not allow kids in porn on FA!" thing, they felt the need to specifically say that minors are allowed in kinks like vore so long as nobody has their dick out. Which is just like... wow, that is so absolutely buck wild. Everyone who was concerned that they would get mistakenly called pedophiles for having short or cute characters will likely STILL feel unsafe here, and even those who were like "Yeah we shouldn't have kids in porn at any cost!" are likely going to be absolutely livid. Somehow they've managed to thread the needle where absolutely *EVERYONE* is going to hate it. My god, this has stopped being infuriating and looped around to absolutely hilarity. Wow, just wow. Gonna miss the time I spent on FA, been here ages, but holy shit this is a way to go.

It's certainly been a while. I'm glad for everyone who's been following and favoriting stuff even if it's been *a while* since I uploaded anything. Been slowly getting commissions here and there, working through anxiety and depression to get back into writing, and so I have a small backlog of stuff to post when I have the time and mood to go through it all.

...but not to here. Unfortunately with the latest change to FA going forward, I have decided to scrub my gallery of anything NSFW involving Sandy just to be safe. Which is disappointing because I'm well aware he's the reason most people are here. At the end of the day, he's an unevolved pokemon with relatively short limbs in proportion to his torso size. I can't imagine he'd be compliant with the new rules, and even with the art I've gotten where he's a bit more off-model to accomodate, I can absolutely see people going "Unevolved, ban him."

That said, this has served to light a fire under me to actually post my backlog elsewhere. I'll continue posting stuff involving Sandy to other sites like Inkbunny and Weasyl, as well as to Twitter and Mastodon. But, sadly, no longer to here.

So, for anyone following me on my main twitter they've probably heard me complain about this today, but I got slapped with several DMCA takedowns for my sandshrew character Sandy on my AD, and my account there has been suspended. Needless to say, I'm unhappy for numerous reasons: I liked having an AD to talk about kink stuff without messing with my normal friends, I had a large group of people that I only really contacted through there (Slowly trying to add them to my main account, if you or any of our mutuals fit that description I'm still alive over at @urthdigger), and it's also sobering to see a place take what's basically fanart so seriously.

One could argue I deserved this. I did, after all, commission and display their copyrighted works doing very objectionable things, and it's not a parody and likely wouldn't be considered super transformative (He is, after all, still a sandshrew.) But at the same time, people make fanart all the time, even sexually explicit fanart, and it's largely considered something that while technically illegal isn't actually worth pursuing. That's the mentality I had going into this, and I can't help but feel a little upset over this while deal.

Most importantly, it's forced me to think about what I'll do with Sandy going forward. I like having him as a sandshrew. I love pokemon characters, and I know many of my friends like them as well. But at the same time, even assuming I get my AD back or make a new one, I would like to be able to share art of him without risking getting taken down again. And that means he's going to have to change.

He's probably going to wind up a pangolin, which is close enough. And I may still RP him as a sandshrew, or get sandshrew art in cases where I won't be posting it publicly. But I fear I'm going to have to make him something not copyrighted going forward to feel comfortable posting him again. And who knows, maybe I'll take this opportunity to make him more distinctive and work on aspects of his character that may have been shackled to his old creation.

(TL;DR I plan on doing more clean stuff and taking longer to get to the "good stuff" going forward. Please bear with me, and let me know what you think down below.)

So, it's no secret that my writing tends to be... sporadic at best. Truth be told, writing is both my most stressful and most enjoyable activity. It hasn't always been that way however, and lately I've been doing some thinking as to why.

Many years ago I used to be quite a prolific writer on RetroMUD. Before then I'd also done plenty of long form forum RP. Something definitely changed between these two times in my life. Part of it was a bout of depression I'd gone through that I've only recently begun to climb out of, but I don't think that's entirely it. Another large part is that I began doing a lot more erotic roleplay and writing erotic stories.

Now, I'm not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing, or that I plan to stop doing either. But as my focus shifted, I noticed a shift in the tone of my writing. I no longer get into my characters' heads quite as much, or spend time creating background fluff and doing world building. I set up the bare bones of a set that I require and get right to the action. It's not that I can't be bothered, quite the opposite. It's that little voice in the back of my head that refuses to go away.

"Nobody will care."

Every time I start adding details extraneous to the sex and fetishes, I find myself thinking that people will just scroll past it... or even admonish me for putting in a whole bunch of useless crap before the good stuff. Heck, even during the increasingly rare times that I RP I find my writing growing stale and repetitive simply because I get too self-conscious about doing anything that may "ruin the scene" by introducing elements other than what folks came to me for.

...I hate writing like that. I'm stuck in a perpetual loop where I look at what I've written and find it lifeless and repetitive, but any attempts to add more fluff and background to the world get shot down by my inner critic saying nobody came here to read about the stupid coffee in the local cafe.

I need to get back to my roots, do the kind of slice of life and character building I used to enjoy so much about writing. But at the same time, I'm frightened that I just won't be relevant anymore. I mean, nobody even cared about what I posted here before I began doing vore. I can't help worrying that if I just start posting boring stuff about people going about their day, if my vore stories involve a pleasant shopping trip or a day of video games before folks get slurped up, that the few fans I have will go away.

So, I guess what I'm saying is, please bear with me as I go through some changes. I can only hope people actually enjoy what I post going forward.

The past two months have largely been good to me, albeit busy as I worked hard to get back on my feet following events from the funeral, but I'm finally back on my feet... even if it meant skipping a journal in the meantime.

Lately I've started looking for new work, or at least a change in shift. I've been working constant night shifts for a little over a year now. I had the opportunity to socialize and RP some, and it made me realize just how much I've missed being able to talk to people, and what a drain it is to spend half of my days off up at hours when everyone I know is asleep (US) or working (EU). Unfortunately... that's easier said than done. I can always dream though!

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Now for the meat of the journal post: my writing absence. I am painfully aware that I've not uploaded something in some time, and that I RP infrequently at best. What used to be an enjoyable activity for me in the past has lately become a source of constant stress, and I've been trying to figure out why that's the case. I love world building in my head, coming up with fun things for characters to do, thinking up RP scenarios I want to try out with my friends... but when I sit down to actually put pen to paper I just cannot come up with decent words. My vocabulary is limited, I have trouble putting in details, and I just feel so frustrated at my own ability that I can't bring myself to finish anything.

The worst part is, I used to be better. Back when I first created Urthdigger for the Silver Garrison RP group, I had no trouble being quite prolific. After that went down, I had a trend of RPing across various forums, always prolific and able to get a decent following. Around this time I also created my Hand Puppet story for RetroMUD which, while flawed, I still consider to be the best thing I've ever written to date. Better still, I was making sizeable updates every week.

Something's changed between how I was back then, and how I am now, and it's been hard to put my finger on it. I've suffered from and recovered from depression, had a lot of moves, plenty of things are different now, but I think one thing stands out more than everything else: The kind of writing I do most.

Back in those days, my writing was usually asynchronous (forum posts, newsgroups) adventure RP, whereas now it's typically synchronous (MUDs, chatrooms) sexual RP. I think it's high time I try and get back to my roots, and do the things that made me enjoy writing in the first place so I can recapture the joy I had for it.

I could go on for ages about why I feel it's caused my writing to degrade, but in short when I RP nowadays I have a strict time limit, restrictive vocabulary and short IC time per post to avoid denying my partner from responding, little if any interaction with the environment, no changing scenes, and the pressure is far greater. These all reflect areas where my skill has deteriorated. When I write, it's typically about the same kind of subject matter that my RPs are about so I can't help but fall into the same groove.

I need to break out of this. Do some RPs where I can actually take my time and flesh out the world around me, take a part in a story rather than an isolated scene... and I'll be honest, actually play as Urthdigger for a change instead of Sandy. I like the little guy, but Urthdigger was supposed to be my main and he's kinda been gathering dust.

Now, the hard part will likely be actually finding a place to do this. I get the feeling forums in general just aren't as common as they used to be, and people RPing on them considerably less so. Choosing a method that requires patience and waiting is probably quaint and old fashioned... but I think it's what I need.

So much has happened over the past few weeks, and I'm sorry to lump it all in one post... but a lot of it is the past couple days. So here we go.

My New Year's resolution is going well, I'm hanging out in chats more often, chatting with my coworkers, that kind of thing. It's really making me feel better as a person, and I'm glad I'm spending my free time on that rather than watching endless amounts of videos. Now to just get back into the RP mood...

Secondly, this year is starting to become one of self-improvement. The largest change is I've finally gone to a dentist to deal with the hot mess that is my teeth. Unfortunately... this is where some of the bad news comes in. Turns out I need about 5 root canals, and they are EXPENSIVE. After taking care of some gum work and taking care of one tooth, my insurance premium has been hit, so I basically have no more dental insurance for the rest of the year. While I could just wait until next year to do one, I really don't want it to take 5 years to fix this... especially as my bad teeth are likely why I get sick so often (compromised immune system from constantly fighting infection). So, as a result I'm going to be working harder than before to make some scratch.

...which brings me to the third thing. I've been doing a fair bit more writing, and have a few short stories I'm working on edits for before posting up. I want to start posting on a reliable basis (at least one a month... hopefully get back up to my old prime of one a week), with the goal of being comfortable doing commissions. I also want to get back into doing non-vore stuff, as I do worry I'm getting awfully stagnant staying in this one area. Even if I do enjoy it.

And finally... some heavy news which prompted me to post this now instead of at the end of the month. I just found out today that one of my little brothers is dead. Drug overdose, it happened a week ago though word only reach me today. I wasn't too close too him, so I'm not devastated but... this is the first time someone I've known as more than just an acquaintance has died. I still don't know how I'm going to take it. I don't think it's hit me that it really happened. Suppose I won't know for sure how I feel until the funeral.

Going forward into 2017, I want one main theme: Be more open and approachable.

I plan to post more journals about what's going on in my life, and talk more about the things I love on social media rather than the things I dislike. I want to go back to how I was 2-3 years ago, when I was freely RPing and making new friends. I want to stop being so shut in, and open myself up to more people.

Now lets see if I actually stick to it.

So, 5 months into the year, and quite a lot has changed. For starters, I have a full time job once more, working as a stower at an Amazon warehouse. Pays better than my previous job, and I've even already gotten overtime, with more available basically whenever I want more money.

Saving up, I've gotten my own vehicle once more. No more will I have to schedule borrowing a van to visit people. So that's nice!

To add to the good news, my boyfriend Eccitaze finally got a job in IT, which has been a dream of his for quite some time now. Pays even better than my job.

And finally, with both of us employed, the two of us are looking to move in together. Considering just a few months ago I was full of anxiety concerning my future living situation this... this is pretty nice. I'm still a little in shock over all this.

It feels like a tremendous weight has fallen off my shoulders. My RP drive is back, my head keeps flooding with story ideas while I work, I want to talk to my friends more than ever. I'm even looking to see if I can start writing at work (admittedly, it'll probably mean a rise in SFW content uploaded here. Not gonna write cockvore at work!)

2016 is shaping up to be a great year.

So, it's about time I actually use my journal instead of tossing everything into the ephemeral void that is Twitter, and what better way to start than with some new year resolutions. Well, goals and schedule really, resolution is more for things you joke about doing but don't actually intend to. Before I begin, I'd just like to say that the past few years have been a lot of ups and downs. Had a full time job, lost said job, started posting content that people actually enjoy and developing an inkling of a fanbase. I'm really looking forward to making 2016 even better. So, without further ado:

1: Clear my projects. This is the main reason I'm posting these to a journal. There's a number of projects I said I'd do, but didn't get to promptly. And the longer a project goes undone, the more I get stressed out just thinking about it, but when I try and work on other things I feel bad for not working on those. However, it's not like I took money or favors for any of them... so I'm clearing the slate. I may come back to them someday, but no guarantees. I don't feel great about this, but it's something I have to do.

2: Eat when I'm hungry, not when I'm starving. Might come as a shock as someone who writes a ton of vore, but I don't eat a lot. A bad habit I've picked up is not actually getting my own food unless I've been told I can. Combined with a small stomach and high metabolism, I spend a considerable portion of the day too hungry to actually do much productive. This has clearly got to stop.

3: Return to college. I'm actually meeting with an academic advisor today, and looking to get back on track to becoming a programmer.
3a: Find work. Depending on how student loan stuff goes, this may not strictly be required, and actually having a degree will help find work I actually like to do (Programming is fun!) But finding part-time work is definitely on the schedule.

4: Write. Write write write. Right now, writing just exacerbates my existing stress, which is why I haven't put out much since I lost my job. However, writing's been a source of joy for me, and it's a skill I'd like to hone. So, I'm going to start spending at least 45 minutes a day on writing. Most likely going to take NaNoWriMo rules of writing whatever comes to mind with no editing, may take requests when I'm about to do it, not sure if any results will be shareable quality. The point is, ass in chair, words to paper. The more I practice, the less pressure I'll feel, and my speed should improve. Which brings me to my final goal.

5: Reach a commissionable level of writing. I've come to accept that my quality is somewhat commissionable... I probably can't charge very much, but it's still a level where people somewhat enjoy the little things I put out. The one thing I know I don't do well at is speed. I can do alright if inspiration hits me, but once I'm out of that zone my speed and productivity plummet... and that's not something I can afford if I expect people to actually pay me. All the other goals this year actually lead into this one. College/work so I'm not stressed over money, food so I can focus, clear slate to focus on improving, and committing to working on it each day so I can make great things for you all.

So, there's my plan for 2016. Hope you all have a great year as well!

So apparently this is a thing? Copied this from  evolus, who apparently copied it from  spyn0ff.

Staying at:
Wherever Staff Crash is at. Or likely just staying up for 72 hours straight. Again.

Arrival and Departure?
I'll likely be setting stuff up several days early, and staying until closing ceremonies

Mode of transportation:
God bless the Seattle public transit system

Rooming with:
Likely going with Staff Crash, which is a room where they stuff all the passed out staff. It's as comfortable as it sounds

Who will I likely see you with?
Anyone really, I have this tendency to meet totally random folks during reg, and hang out with them at the con. Especially first time attendees.

Con Plans:
No idea to be honest. I'll likely attending a lot of writing panels, although I've attended enough every year that I'm usually more like an extra panelist who happens to be in the crowd. Outside of that, I'll do as my whims dictate.

How can I find you?
Look for the guy in the moogle hat. They sell these things at anime cons, but for some reason I have NEVER seen anyone else with one at any con ever. It's almost become iconic of me, enough that half my badges have me wearing it

Do you do commissions?
If people seriously want me to write stuff for them, I'll do it. If you mean art, I'm going to have to laugh in response.

Do you do free art?
Have you SEEN my art? If I did draw, free's all I could get for it.

Do you have prints/Cds?
No, although I'd love to become good enough to make books some day. Or to make game CDs...

Will you be fursuiting? if so: What suit(s)?
I wish! I would love to have a fursuit, if only because a mole would stand out. Unfortunately being unemployed tends to damper that (And before you ask why I'm going to a fur con if I'm unemployed, being staff last year means I get in free this year. $5.00 total in bus fare for a weekend of fun seems like a bargain to me!)

Will you be going to parties?
[b]I would love to. I spend a lot of time on staff (partly because I genuinely enjoy doing so), and a lot of folks seem to think telling staff where the parties are is a bad thing. FYI, we love room parties. So long as you're not seriously breaking the law (Murder, selling heroin, shit like that) we're all for it. Heck, we'll even send people your way if you want (This is a service we've offered in the past, but nobody took us up on).

Will you be performing?
Give me a trumpet and some sheet music and I can try to recall my high school band class lessons if you really want me to.

Smoke?
I don't smoke, for various reasons. I don't look down on those who do, but I'd rather not be around it.

Drink?
I don't drink, but I will if folks want me to. Outside of some clumsiness I don't feel any different when drunk, and non-alcoholic drinks tend to be cheaper and taste better. So, nothing against drinking, I just don't feel like spending money on it.

Gender?
Male

Can I hug you?
If you bathe, sure. I won't hug anyone I can smell from across the room.

Can I talk to you?
Definitely, I love meeting new people!

Will you be at any panels?
I practically live in the writing track. Outside of that, there's the pokefurs roundtable that  evolus is hosting that I might check out to see what's up, and there's always interesting panels sprinkled here and there. I'll have more of an idea as the con approaches (I believe some scheduling is still open to change).

Can I touch you?
Since folks generally don't generally ask if they can just poke someone, I'm gonna guess you mean sticking your hands down my pants. Sure, I don't mind, so long as we're not someplace where it would freak out the normals. I like making people happy, and this includes anything to entice folks, but folks getting offended takes all the fun out of it for me.

Can I buy you drinks?
You sure can so long as you understand that I'd honestly prefer non-alcoholic drinks (They tend to taste better!) and that getting me drunk is not a contractual obligation for me to sleep with you.

How old are you?
27

If you're pissed off, should I approach you?
Sure. If I'm pissed off (which is very rare), I actually prefer having someone to rant with. Being around folks makes me happy in general anyway.

Are you nice?
Very, I love people!

Single or Taken?
It's complicated. I'm single, and not looking for a relationship since I feel the expectations people build up tend to ruin things. However, I like friends with benefits.

Cliquey?
The only people I don't get along with are folks who don't get along with others.

How tall?
6'1''

Can I Take pictures of you?
If you want to, sure!

Will you get anything commissioned?
I usually get a badge every year, but due to money issues this year I likely won't.

How can I get your attention?
Swatting at the bobble on my hat tends to work. Barring that, just say my name! I actually react more readily to Urthdigger than to my real name...

Can I steal ya away for fun times?
Feel free to ask, but I generally only sleep with folks I've known. Partly because I do have a few issues and need to trust that the person asking won't get offended.

Can I ask you to dance at the raves?
If you don't mind me acting like a fool, sure!

Can we hang out?
There's a reason I work in registration at the con: I get to meet EVERYONE. When I'm off duty, feel free to hang out with me any time :)