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Posted 2 years agoHello!
Just wanted to make an update for you guys regarding commission and refund status!
I'm currently in between jobs, I have been for the past month or so. I was previously working at a dead-end, minimum-wage job, for a year, and of course, with prices skyrocketing, that wasn't going to suffice any longer. At the start of May, I began job searching to find something in the higher-paying bracket. I'm in a particular situation where I'm not in not in the best area for jobs, I'm mostly surrounded by minimum wage jobs or jobs that require degrees and certificates that I don't have (Mainly nursing). I managed to find a job that I stuck with for around two weeks, but to be brutally honest, I realized the workplace was toxic and an absolute shit-hole that I got sucked into. They figured hiring more people would fix the mess that was taking place.
I went away for two weeks to handle doctor and dental visits in my home state (I'm not insured in the state I reside, this is due to no free healthcare, and I can't apply for the free ones because I don't meet their requirements) My pap exam results came back abnormal, with the very small possibility of cervical cancer. My doctor assured me that chances are that it will go away on its own. I have major dental problems, I will require wisdom teeth extraction. I need some root canals, but my insurance doesn't cover those and they quoted me 5 grand for the procedures. I basically came to the conclusion that I will be getting those teeth pulled, cause I can't afford the surgery.
I've also spoken to my doctor about my current weight that's been affecting my mental and physical health. I will be speaking to a weight specialist to talk about therapies, plans, medication, or even surgery. but at this current moment, I will be put on medication to kick-start my weight loss journey. The medication does have drastic side effects if my body doesn't take to it well, this includes mental fogs, rapid/irregular heartbeat, psychosis, panic, etc... It's a stimulant and I'm pretty confident I suffer ADHD, and I'm diagnosed with anxiety. But at the end of the day, I have to see how my body adapts to it. (if anyone is curious, the drug is phentermine )
I've already tried lifestyle changes, that my doctor has been aware of, we've only come to this option due to my failures.
That's all health-related problems at the end of the day. Once I returned back home after dealing with all of that, I ended up immediatly quitting/getting fired from the job I landed. An argument ensued due to being blamed for my lack of training in the position. Lots of management was fired, and it just wasn't the correct place for me to be. I've interviewed for another job, and I'm simply waiting to hear back by this Monday, if I received the position or not. If not, then I'm just going to have to keep applying and interviewing.
I'm quite mentally drained, there's a lot of shit on my mind and because of this, art has turned from something I love, into another mentally draining task. Each piece takes me hours to complete, and by the end of it, I see the other pieces I owe and I feel guilty that I couldn't get to them. My credit has been maxed out with issuing refunds, and I just want to get to a point where I find a job that pays decent, so I can work hard and refund. But until then, I'll be working on art as much as possible.
I'm sorry if this entire message was incoherent, but please understand the state I'm currently in at the moment. If theres anybody who can relate to the problems that I'm dealing with right now, whether it be from jobs, art, phsyical or mental health, as much as I hate to ask, I'd love to have someone to speak to. I'm at a breaking point and its hard to see how things can go up from here...
Just wanted to make an update for you guys regarding commission and refund status!
I'm currently in between jobs, I have been for the past month or so. I was previously working at a dead-end, minimum-wage job, for a year, and of course, with prices skyrocketing, that wasn't going to suffice any longer. At the start of May, I began job searching to find something in the higher-paying bracket. I'm in a particular situation where I'm not in not in the best area for jobs, I'm mostly surrounded by minimum wage jobs or jobs that require degrees and certificates that I don't have (Mainly nursing). I managed to find a job that I stuck with for around two weeks, but to be brutally honest, I realized the workplace was toxic and an absolute shit-hole that I got sucked into. They figured hiring more people would fix the mess that was taking place.
I went away for two weeks to handle doctor and dental visits in my home state (I'm not insured in the state I reside, this is due to no free healthcare, and I can't apply for the free ones because I don't meet their requirements) My pap exam results came back abnormal, with the very small possibility of cervical cancer. My doctor assured me that chances are that it will go away on its own. I have major dental problems, I will require wisdom teeth extraction. I need some root canals, but my insurance doesn't cover those and they quoted me 5 grand for the procedures. I basically came to the conclusion that I will be getting those teeth pulled, cause I can't afford the surgery.
I've also spoken to my doctor about my current weight that's been affecting my mental and physical health. I will be speaking to a weight specialist to talk about therapies, plans, medication, or even surgery. but at this current moment, I will be put on medication to kick-start my weight loss journey. The medication does have drastic side effects if my body doesn't take to it well, this includes mental fogs, rapid/irregular heartbeat, psychosis, panic, etc... It's a stimulant and I'm pretty confident I suffer ADHD, and I'm diagnosed with anxiety. But at the end of the day, I have to see how my body adapts to it. (if anyone is curious, the drug is phentermine )
I've already tried lifestyle changes, that my doctor has been aware of, we've only come to this option due to my failures.
That's all health-related problems at the end of the day. Once I returned back home after dealing with all of that, I ended up immediatly quitting/getting fired from the job I landed. An argument ensued due to being blamed for my lack of training in the position. Lots of management was fired, and it just wasn't the correct place for me to be. I've interviewed for another job, and I'm simply waiting to hear back by this Monday, if I received the position or not. If not, then I'm just going to have to keep applying and interviewing.
I'm quite mentally drained, there's a lot of shit on my mind and because of this, art has turned from something I love, into another mentally draining task. Each piece takes me hours to complete, and by the end of it, I see the other pieces I owe and I feel guilty that I couldn't get to them. My credit has been maxed out with issuing refunds, and I just want to get to a point where I find a job that pays decent, so I can work hard and refund. But until then, I'll be working on art as much as possible.
I'm sorry if this entire message was incoherent, but please understand the state I'm currently in at the moment. If theres anybody who can relate to the problems that I'm dealing with right now, whether it be from jobs, art, phsyical or mental health, as much as I hate to ask, I'd love to have someone to speak to. I'm at a breaking point and its hard to see how things can go up from here...
Keyboard died, ordering new one
Posted 2 years agoSmall update, my keyboard gave out on me, I'm in the process of ordering another one, using amazon it should take about a day or two to arrive, so hoping for no delays, but until then I'm unable to use my computer
Under the weather
Posted 3 years agoJust giving a breif update, I'm currently sick with a fever thats on and off again. I'm pretty sure its the flu or just something going around, it happened shortly after the weather dropped drastically. I'm just not at my 100% right now but I hope to be feeling better soon!
Im taking dayquil/nightquil every 4 hours to get over it quickly, just wanted to update!
Im taking dayquil/nightquil every 4 hours to get over it quickly, just wanted to update!
[NEW] Work Schedule
Posted 3 years agoHello! It's been a while since I've last been able to give any real update so I figured a new public update would be great, along with something new I'm implementing to try and keep my progress more consistent and public!
So, considering I now have two jobs, I only have about two days out of each week to work on artwork, which I've been using to at least update 2-3 people a week on the progress of their commission. But because I've been doing this all privately, things have seemed quiet on my side except for when I post adopts for extra funds, which usually causes an influx of messages from those who I haven't gotten too about the staus of their commission. This is expected, and fine! but it's become stress-inducing to post artwork in my spare time, and then having an influx of notes to answer for the upcoming week while I'm at work.
So to battle this, I've decided to create a public work schedule! I will list three too four people whose commission I will be working on for this current week, so those people can expect to see an update by then, and just below that will be the next batch of people whose artwork I'll be doing for the upcoming week. Hopefully, with this new schedule, my progress can be tracked easier and your not personally left questioning when your commission will be worked on!
I will be updating this work schedule overtime, so if you don't personally see your name here on the list yet, please don't worry! I can only add so many people each week, I don't want to risk having a burn-out and causing my progress to be even slower for others!- - -With my current work schedule, I have two guaranteed off days which is Monday and Tuesday.
I tend to respond to notes slower on my work-days, so expect updates to any notes on those two days!
This week (Dec 19th- Dec 23rd)
- BJD Custom
- Emergency Custom
- On-base custom
- Add on outfits.Week 2 (Dec 24th - 30th ) (MAY BE SLOW DUE TO HOLIDAYS, I've opted to work on holidays for both of my jobs so I will be exhausted!)
- Custom Design
- Preclaim Princess Custom (Deer)
- Preclaim Princess Custom (Bunny)
- Very simple CustomWeek 3 ( Dec 31 - Jan 6th)
- Princess Preclaim (Unicorn)
- Fursona Redesign ( Toyhouse )@TheWarpony/Ren - BJD Custom
- BJD CustomWeek 4 (Jan 7 - Jan 13)
Lilbunnz - BJD Custom
@Whimsy/Wwwhimsical - BJD Custom
- BJD Custom / Emergency Custom
- BJD custom
- Emergency CustomDEADLINE FOR ANY ON-BASE CUSTOMS/ BJD ADOPTS.
Week 5 (Jan 14 - Jan 20)
itsyuri_x -
Sei - Simple Custom
- Preclaim princess customsDEADLINE FOR ANY PRINCESS CUSTOMS
Week 6 (Jan 21 - Jan 27)
boofangz - Very simple custom
- Emergency Adopt (pastel cow)
- Emergency Adopt (Snake)Week 7 ( Jan 28 - Feb 3)
Vile-Roxxi - Very complex custom
Mani_Uchimaki - Complex/simple custom
- Complex CustomWeek 8 ( Feb 4 - Feb 10)
I'll be updating this week once it starts to approach! I'll have to see where I'm at in my progress in order to list everyone properly!
- - -
Q/A:
"How do I know whose been worked on yet as far as the week goes?"
I'll be crossing out their username, and possibly adding what stage of the commission I've gotten to (Whether it be sketched, lined, colored or completed)
"What happens if I haven't received an update on my week?"
I will personally message you, letting you know what caused the delay and most likely move you to next weeks batch!
"My week is way too far, can I get my update sooner?"
Considering I only have two off days to complete artwork, I really can't promise work to be done at a certain date! If you message me letting me know your concerns, I'll try to squeeze a minor update into the current or upcoming weeks schedule but this is not promised, doing this too often would lead to delays for the other people who I've promised to update!
If this is to much for you, please reach out to me regarding a refund, I will not be upset by this!
"It's been a few weeks and my username still isn't on the upcoming schedule, what's going on?"
If your name still isn't anywhere on the upcoming schedule and you are worried that I lost your commission, please message me (preferably on a Monday or Tuesday for quicker responses) and ask me about your status! Please link (or copy and paste) the custom you ordered, there's either a chance I haven't added it to the schedule yet or it may have been lost!
Please don't hold out on messaging me if you are concerned, I rather have your work done sooner than later and I don't want to risk any lost commissions!
Other updates:
I've been struggling with energy, with both of my jobs being pretty strenuous on my body. I've also started returning to the gym. I'm going to be looking into energy pill options, or supplements that'll increase my energy. My body hasn't reacted well to energy supplements in the past (I've not been diagnosed, but I strongly believe I have ADHD). But I can't continue at the current pace I'm going, if you have any suggestions please let me know!
Please help my friend pay for funeral expenses!
Posted 3 years agoShe has tons of characters for sale on her account, please have a look and consider helping out even if its a little bit!
https://toyhou.se/AriBee/characters
https://toyhou.se/AriBee/characters
Turning 21 today!
Posted 3 years agoI'm a full fledged adult now!
It feels like yesterday when I just turned 18!
It feels like yesterday when I just turned 18!
I officially have three jobs!
Posted 3 years agoWell, I got hired for one of my (kind of) dream jobs! I work at animal control as a kennel assistant on weekends! I'm keeping my old job as well considering the animal control is weekends only, so I work both as a stock employee at a retail store, and as a kennel assistant now! Then I come home and do art!
I wanted to get another job, because animal handling is one of my biggest passions! Its the career path I hoped to go down (I want to be a dog groomer preferably but I'm still deciding!)
Don't get me wrong its super overwhelming, and not easy AT ALL, but I really love it!
Hopefully with this third income, I'll be able to process refunds quicker, my retail job is paying me minimum wage and I was using most of the money i got from that job, just on transportation to get there which was super wasteful. I wasn't able to save or put away money, since they paid bi-weekly, and by the time my paycheck arrived I had bills ready to come out or past due.
Within the next few weeks I should start seeing my income situation gradually get better, and I'll be able to do all my refunds quickly! Crossing fingers it works out!
I wanted to get another job, because animal handling is one of my biggest passions! Its the career path I hoped to go down (I want to be a dog groomer preferably but I'm still deciding!)
Don't get me wrong its super overwhelming, and not easy AT ALL, but I really love it!
Hopefully with this third income, I'll be able to process refunds quicker, my retail job is paying me minimum wage and I was using most of the money i got from that job, just on transportation to get there which was super wasteful. I wasn't able to save or put away money, since they paid bi-weekly, and by the time my paycheck arrived I had bills ready to come out or past due.
Within the next few weeks I should start seeing my income situation gradually get better, and I'll be able to do all my refunds quickly! Crossing fingers it works out!
Hiatus - ish
Posted 3 years agoSorry for my quietness lately, I'm in a bit of a funk with some very personal, mental issues.
I'm trying to just keep what little sanity I do have, but I'm not really in the right headspace, I'll respond to messages and get more work done very very soon.
I'm really sorry
I'm trying to just keep what little sanity I do have, but I'm not really in the right headspace, I'll respond to messages and get more work done very very soon.
I'm really sorry
Loving my job so far!
Posted 3 years agoToday made my second day of work, I'm going in tomorrow as well!
The only two things I'm not fond of is the bi-weekly pay and how early I have to wake up to get there x.x
But I really enjoy it besides those two factors!
The people are friendly and its very similar to one of my last jobs that I had for the longest times!
Refunds will be slow due to the bi-weekly checks (and I know from previous experience that the first check is always pretty small)
but I will work hard and put in as much work as I can to get these refunds out!
I really appreciate everyone's patience and well wishes to me so far, it's not been easy finding a suitable job and getting back into the work-life but I've been lucky enough to find something I think I'll enjoy and get used too!
I will post art as much as I can, I will need to make money for my transportation (my bus system doesn't run at 6am in the morning, so I have to rely on expensive ubers/lyfts..) but I'm severely burnt out, I'm doing it mostly out of necessity so I can provide refunds.
I don't want to seem as if I'm doing adopts and ignoring owed work, I'm just stressed by the workload I accumulated, but I still need to provide myself with funds for transportation and dued bills...alongside that my drive for art has diminished these past few months. I hope to be stress-free by the end of this summer and back to drawing consistently!
I also noticed my bases do pretty well, I want to make a few more with more customizable options, and upgrading the ones I've already have done with more customization! It takes a lot of work out of me but seeing them be used really makes me happy and I'm excited that people enjoy them!
The only two things I'm not fond of is the bi-weekly pay and how early I have to wake up to get there x.x
But I really enjoy it besides those two factors!
The people are friendly and its very similar to one of my last jobs that I had for the longest times!
Refunds will be slow due to the bi-weekly checks (and I know from previous experience that the first check is always pretty small)
but I will work hard and put in as much work as I can to get these refunds out!
I really appreciate everyone's patience and well wishes to me so far, it's not been easy finding a suitable job and getting back into the work-life but I've been lucky enough to find something I think I'll enjoy and get used too!
I will post art as much as I can, I will need to make money for my transportation (my bus system doesn't run at 6am in the morning, so I have to rely on expensive ubers/lyfts..) but I'm severely burnt out, I'm doing it mostly out of necessity so I can provide refunds.
I don't want to seem as if I'm doing adopts and ignoring owed work, I'm just stressed by the workload I accumulated, but I still need to provide myself with funds for transportation and dued bills...alongside that my drive for art has diminished these past few months. I hope to be stress-free by the end of this summer and back to drawing consistently!
I also noticed my bases do pretty well, I want to make a few more with more customizable options, and upgrading the ones I've already have done with more customization! It takes a lot of work out of me but seeing them be used really makes me happy and I'm excited that people enjoy them!
Update: Landed a job!
Posted 3 years agoAfter a few weeks of applying I got a job that I think will suit me really well! I have to sign some papers next week, so no idea when my starting date will be, but within the next 2-3 weeks I should begin getting paychecks and will slowly be able to pay back anything I owe! Thanks for the patience so far! I appreciate it!
Semi-Hiatus - Job Searching/Changes Upcoming
Posted 3 years agoJust wanted to give a brief update about why I've been so quiet and may continue to be quiet for a while longer!
I'm in the middle of job searching at the moment due to all the bills I've accumulated so far, and a few refund requests (and some I'd like to refund personally just to offload the stress) I'm not able to pay back everything with just my art income itself anymore, based on how slow sales have been. (+ the back-outs or delays).
I've been applying for jobs every day for the past week, and I hope to find something doable for me. My window for jobs is narrowed because I have to find one within my area since I don't own a vehicle/reliable transportation.
Other than that, I've just been very slow with art mainly because I'm entirely unmotivated/burned out. Each drawing I've posted for the last couple of months take me a complete day to complete, and watching the sales perform poorly as of late based on how they did in the past, has left me extremely unmotived. Including the random amount of back-outs I've received on the past couple of posts have been really frustrating.
For those who are currently waiting on their commission, once I have secured a job I will most likely be refunding your commission (mostly based on complexity)
Just wanted to update and be transparent!
I'm in the middle of job searching at the moment due to all the bills I've accumulated so far, and a few refund requests (and some I'd like to refund personally just to offload the stress) I'm not able to pay back everything with just my art income itself anymore, based on how slow sales have been. (+ the back-outs or delays).
I've been applying for jobs every day for the past week, and I hope to find something doable for me. My window for jobs is narrowed because I have to find one within my area since I don't own a vehicle/reliable transportation.
Other than that, I've just been very slow with art mainly because I'm entirely unmotivated/burned out. Each drawing I've posted for the last couple of months take me a complete day to complete, and watching the sales perform poorly as of late based on how they did in the past, has left me extremely unmotived. Including the random amount of back-outs I've received on the past couple of posts have been really frustrating.
For those who are currently waiting on their commission, once I have secured a job I will most likely be refunding your commission (mostly based on complexity)
Just wanted to update and be transparent!
Might have covid
Posted 3 years agoI didn't want to make an official post on it just yet, but I'm pretty sure I've been exposed to and have covid, hence why I've been so sick!
I'm going to be getting tested soon, and I'll have the results soon enough, but theres a pretty large chance that I do
I'm going to be getting tested soon, and I'll have the results soon enough, but theres a pretty large chance that I do
Apologies
Posted 3 years agoI came down with a random, bad cold this weekend and I've been a bit quiet because of the pain!
I'm going to try and get back to drawing now that it's calmed down a bit!
I'm going to try and get back to drawing now that it's calmed down a bit!
Discouraged
Posted 3 years agoI don't understand the appeal of waving money in fromt of artists face just to not respond or hide/delete your comment a day later. Stop trying to spend money that you don't have or placing bids on impulse.
I've been trying to do refunds, handle bills, buy personal items such as my state ID and getting my health insurance set up and I can't do none of that cause I'm constantly getting fucked around with people who changed their mind about buying something immediately after they post their comment.
My shit isn't a necessity and I understand that very well, but at least have the courtesy of telling me that you're backing out, don't just disappear for 24 hours or waking up to a dissappeared comment.
I can't do anything besides block people who do this, or start the bid over cause it won't be pushed through the algorithm if I don't.
I spend litteraly entire days on every single piece I do nowadays, only to get dicked around with payments.
I can't do my refunds, I can't get my state ID, I can't get my health insurance, I can't pay for my bus pass, I can't pay for my credit.
I feel like quitting
I've been trying to do refunds, handle bills, buy personal items such as my state ID and getting my health insurance set up and I can't do none of that cause I'm constantly getting fucked around with people who changed their mind about buying something immediately after they post their comment.
My shit isn't a necessity and I understand that very well, but at least have the courtesy of telling me that you're backing out, don't just disappear for 24 hours or waking up to a dissappeared comment.
I can't do anything besides block people who do this, or start the bid over cause it won't be pushed through the algorithm if I don't.
I spend litteraly entire days on every single piece I do nowadays, only to get dicked around with payments.
I can't do my refunds, I can't get my state ID, I can't get my health insurance, I can't pay for my bus pass, I can't pay for my credit.
I feel like quitting
Arm implant replaced, a bit inactive
Posted 3 years agoI got my arm birth control implant taken out and replaced with a new one after 3 years, in a lot of pain and won't be able to move my arm much for the next couple of days!
Update: Patreon, Commisions, and refunds (PLEASE READ)
Posted 3 years agoTW DEATH
Regarding Patreon / Bases:
Things have been a bit slow regarding my Patreon, I've been having some personal issues regarding self-confidence and honestly loathing around a lot, and being depressed. It's a mixture of personal issues + grieving. I've been feeling like I am not allowed to be as depressed as I am, like it shouldn't have hit me as hard as it did..but it did and I have no understanding of how you're supposed to move past it. I had all these 'dreams' or 'plans' of what I had wished to do with my cousin as I grew up and knowing I'll never get to experience those moments with him…like he was here one moment and then..vanished.
My head can't really wrap around it.
I don't think it's appropriate to share the gritty details surrounding both of my cousin's death, I don't think it's responsible, but it's something I haven't really gotten to speak to anybody about, and the tiny details are what really shake me up. But it all feels vague when I have to tip-toe around it...
I don't know.
But for right now, I have been making additions to my "Peace Out" Base and I plan to release an update for it soon, as I said this update will be free for anybody who's purchased or was previously a part of the Patreon, you do not have to stay subscribed at all to receive the next major update.
I also have another base coming out, I kind of mentioned it in a discord channel already, but it will be based on this linework:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45877311/
I've already cleaned up the lineart to prepare it for a public release, but I plan to release the peace out update before this one!
I plan to launch my patreon exclusive giveaway soon as well, but I plan to do this after more of my commissions have at least made further progress or completed, I feel like it'd be disrespectful to patient commissioners if I launched a giveaway whilst their still waiting, which is what I'd like to address next.
Commissions:
My commissions have been at a bit of a stand-still, and it's for reasons as mentioned above, but also majorly has to do with perfectionism. I've had a couple of friends inform me (not in a rude way, just insight) that my commissions tend to look 'different' from my adoptables, they're usually drawn differently and don't have the same type of ?passion? to them as my adopts, I feel like this has a lot to do with my perfectionism.
I'm going to try avoiding the word anxious because I feel like it lost its meaning and is used to describe everything, but I feel unconfident while working on commissions. Despite knowing I have no set 'art style' and I know a lot of people commission me knowing that I don't. I feel as if I have to make the exact replica of a adopt I previously drew. Which is r e a l l y hard to do when I draw adopts without putting any major thoughts behind it.
The perfect way to describe it is if you have ever seen the movie "Black Swan". If not, or if you have but forgot what the basis of the movie is. It's basically the main lead is an extreme perfectionist, she does everything right and is too worried about letting herself lose (Which is perfect for the 'white swan' role). While her "competition" is all about letting herself go and being careless in nature, but in a way that comes off as passionate and real. (Which is perfect for the 'black swan' role.)
The director wants the main lead to embody BOTH the black and white swan, one which is perfect, and the other who is careless (but again, in a good way).
I feel when I draw adopts, I'm the black swan, I'm careless, I do what my mind thinks is right and I don't feel like I'm trying to prove anything to anybody else, it's simply me and what I like, and if others like that, then the more the merrier.
But while doing commissions, I want to be perfect. Everyone has to like it, especially the person I'm performing for, but what exactly do they like? Sure they told me what they wanted but what careless art style of mine are they wanting me to replicate? How do I replicate carelessness and passion, whilst also having to follow certain rules??
Because of this, I stall, I make a line, erase it, I do an entire drawing, then I erase it. It feels like no matter what I do it's never as passionate as when I have no rules to follow.
So, what am I going to do about this?
I think, at least what's been working for me now, is that I'm going to stop pressuring trying to be so hard on myself, SOMETHING, is better than nothing at all and I know that's how a lot of commissioners probably feel. I decided that it's OK if I erase a dozen times, as long as I'm doing something and making any progress, even if it's a dozen rough drafts, once I lose myself into that passion, I will continue from there.
With that being said, I'll be trying to make progress on a lot of my commissions soon, and please be aware that you will probably receive one sketch, and then probably something completely different a couple of days later. The sketch should not and will not be determined as the final product, just a vision of what direction my mind is going in. If you like it, it lets me know I can continue in that direction without fretting if I should be doing something different, and please, for my sake, let me know if you don't like something. I don't charge more for changes and it lets me know if I'm doing something wrong.
Refunds:
I've had a couple of refunds pending, mainly regarding my Christmas YCH that had to be scrapped due to my cousin's deaths and funerals. I have my tax refund coming in within the next 21 days and I'll use it to refund everyone all at once, IF not earlier then. Money has been tight lately and I've been drawing less, again due to everything stated above. My account balance has been quite literally sitting at $2.55 cent for a couple of weeks now, and the second I sell adopt, its immediately having to be put forward to a bill that's already past due.
With that being said, I have not forgotten what I owe you, and I apologize for all of the delays and excuses, I just want to do what's right and stop lingering in the past over things I couldn't change or fix, its simply time to start moving on.
Regarding Patreon / Bases:
Things have been a bit slow regarding my Patreon, I've been having some personal issues regarding self-confidence and honestly loathing around a lot, and being depressed. It's a mixture of personal issues + grieving. I've been feeling like I am not allowed to be as depressed as I am, like it shouldn't have hit me as hard as it did..but it did and I have no understanding of how you're supposed to move past it. I had all these 'dreams' or 'plans' of what I had wished to do with my cousin as I grew up and knowing I'll never get to experience those moments with him…like he was here one moment and then..vanished.
My head can't really wrap around it.
I don't think it's appropriate to share the gritty details surrounding both of my cousin's death, I don't think it's responsible, but it's something I haven't really gotten to speak to anybody about, and the tiny details are what really shake me up. But it all feels vague when I have to tip-toe around it...
I don't know.
But for right now, I have been making additions to my "Peace Out" Base and I plan to release an update for it soon, as I said this update will be free for anybody who's purchased or was previously a part of the Patreon, you do not have to stay subscribed at all to receive the next major update.
I also have another base coming out, I kind of mentioned it in a discord channel already, but it will be based on this linework:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45877311/
I've already cleaned up the lineart to prepare it for a public release, but I plan to release the peace out update before this one!
I plan to launch my patreon exclusive giveaway soon as well, but I plan to do this after more of my commissions have at least made further progress or completed, I feel like it'd be disrespectful to patient commissioners if I launched a giveaway whilst their still waiting, which is what I'd like to address next.
Commissions:
My commissions have been at a bit of a stand-still, and it's for reasons as mentioned above, but also majorly has to do with perfectionism. I've had a couple of friends inform me (not in a rude way, just insight) that my commissions tend to look 'different' from my adoptables, they're usually drawn differently and don't have the same type of ?passion? to them as my adopts, I feel like this has a lot to do with my perfectionism.
I'm going to try avoiding the word anxious because I feel like it lost its meaning and is used to describe everything, but I feel unconfident while working on commissions. Despite knowing I have no set 'art style' and I know a lot of people commission me knowing that I don't. I feel as if I have to make the exact replica of a adopt I previously drew. Which is r e a l l y hard to do when I draw adopts without putting any major thoughts behind it.
The perfect way to describe it is if you have ever seen the movie "Black Swan". If not, or if you have but forgot what the basis of the movie is. It's basically the main lead is an extreme perfectionist, she does everything right and is too worried about letting herself lose (Which is perfect for the 'white swan' role). While her "competition" is all about letting herself go and being careless in nature, but in a way that comes off as passionate and real. (Which is perfect for the 'black swan' role.)
The director wants the main lead to embody BOTH the black and white swan, one which is perfect, and the other who is careless (but again, in a good way).
I feel when I draw adopts, I'm the black swan, I'm careless, I do what my mind thinks is right and I don't feel like I'm trying to prove anything to anybody else, it's simply me and what I like, and if others like that, then the more the merrier.
But while doing commissions, I want to be perfect. Everyone has to like it, especially the person I'm performing for, but what exactly do they like? Sure they told me what they wanted but what careless art style of mine are they wanting me to replicate? How do I replicate carelessness and passion, whilst also having to follow certain rules??
Because of this, I stall, I make a line, erase it, I do an entire drawing, then I erase it. It feels like no matter what I do it's never as passionate as when I have no rules to follow.
So, what am I going to do about this?
I think, at least what's been working for me now, is that I'm going to stop pressuring trying to be so hard on myself, SOMETHING, is better than nothing at all and I know that's how a lot of commissioners probably feel. I decided that it's OK if I erase a dozen times, as long as I'm doing something and making any progress, even if it's a dozen rough drafts, once I lose myself into that passion, I will continue from there.
With that being said, I'll be trying to make progress on a lot of my commissions soon, and please be aware that you will probably receive one sketch, and then probably something completely different a couple of days later. The sketch should not and will not be determined as the final product, just a vision of what direction my mind is going in. If you like it, it lets me know I can continue in that direction without fretting if I should be doing something different, and please, for my sake, let me know if you don't like something. I don't charge more for changes and it lets me know if I'm doing something wrong.
Refunds:
I've had a couple of refunds pending, mainly regarding my Christmas YCH that had to be scrapped due to my cousin's deaths and funerals. I have my tax refund coming in within the next 21 days and I'll use it to refund everyone all at once, IF not earlier then. Money has been tight lately and I've been drawing less, again due to everything stated above. My account balance has been quite literally sitting at $2.55 cent for a couple of weeks now, and the second I sell adopt, its immediately having to be put forward to a bill that's already past due.
With that being said, I have not forgotten what I owe you, and I apologize for all of the delays and excuses, I just want to do what's right and stop lingering in the past over things I couldn't change or fix, its simply time to start moving on.
Filing tax refund for art?
Posted 3 years agoDoes anybody file tax refunds for art/any money they received from doing artwork?
I've been considering it, but I have no idea how any of that works or how to even dip my toes into it, so does anyone know?
I've been considering it, but I have no idea how any of that works or how to even dip my toes into it, so does anyone know?
RELEASED A NEW BASE + BASE UPDATES IDEAS/SUGGESTIONS
Posted 4 years agoHey everyone! I made my first new base, you can read all about it here!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45404768/
you may grab it for a quick $5, and I plan to make the first major update free, as there are many clothing, accessories, hair, and a couple of other species I wanted to add!
After that initial free update to any and everyone that gets the base, I will be then releasing updates via my patron (that I will also make updates about here)
Some major updates I had in mind:
Black-coded + Ethnic Updates:
If any of you didn't know, I am a female African American and I'd love to show my appreciation for my culture through my work, I plan to add many black-coded character elements to the base, which will mainly include a wide variety of hairstyles. (as I loveee my fair share of black hairstyles) some of those being:
✮ Dreads + The many styles it can be styled into
✮ Box braids/Knotless braids and the many styles they come into
✮ Afro's, puffs, and all that good stuff! As well (of course) the many styles they can be formed into! I will try to shed some love on my tight coiled folks, similar to mine, but there might not be as many styles due to how complex it is to draw sadly!
I also would love to do some ethnic clothing based on my culture, but due to my lack of knowledge, I'm not sure if I want to step to far into that territory? I don't want to inaccurately re-create a garment and having people believe that's actually what my people wear. So I might not be involved toooooo much in that department, but I'll definitely try to do some accessories that are pretty unique to us such as our very loving bonnets, durags, headcombs and etc!
If you have any suggestions of what else I could add, let me know!
Asian Inspired Updates:
I'd love to shed some light on Asian culture as well, as I have quite the fascination for it (as well as many others) and would love to draw garments that are often associated with Asian culture, (Using Asian as a broader term, since I tend to admire things from many sub-cultures) I plan to do my research to accurately recreate certain garments and headdresses! There will be some garments that will not be intended to be culturally accurate by any means and are just meant to be costumes, but I will make sure to give the proper name for those that are accurate!
Holiday Updates
I'd love to do some holiday-themed updates, such as for valentines which can include seductive garments, lingerie, heart shaped piercings, cupid accessories and all that! Some 4th of July updates will include things like fireworks...and fireworks..(i don't care for America so this will be a very minor update LOL)
And, that's all I have on the roster, if you guys have any ideas of updates/expansions you'd like to see, let me know! I'll be happy to take any advice :D
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45404768/
you may grab it for a quick $5, and I plan to make the first major update free, as there are many clothing, accessories, hair, and a couple of other species I wanted to add!
After that initial free update to any and everyone that gets the base, I will be then releasing updates via my patron (that I will also make updates about here)
Some major updates I had in mind:
Black-coded + Ethnic Updates:
If any of you didn't know, I am a female African American and I'd love to show my appreciation for my culture through my work, I plan to add many black-coded character elements to the base, which will mainly include a wide variety of hairstyles. (as I loveee my fair share of black hairstyles) some of those being:
✮ Dreads + The many styles it can be styled into
✮ Box braids/Knotless braids and the many styles they come into
✮ Afro's, puffs, and all that good stuff! As well (of course) the many styles they can be formed into! I will try to shed some love on my tight coiled folks, similar to mine, but there might not be as many styles due to how complex it is to draw sadly!
I also would love to do some ethnic clothing based on my culture, but due to my lack of knowledge, I'm not sure if I want to step to far into that territory? I don't want to inaccurately re-create a garment and having people believe that's actually what my people wear. So I might not be involved toooooo much in that department, but I'll definitely try to do some accessories that are pretty unique to us such as our very loving bonnets, durags, headcombs and etc!
If you have any suggestions of what else I could add, let me know!
Asian Inspired Updates:
I'd love to shed some light on Asian culture as well, as I have quite the fascination for it (as well as many others) and would love to draw garments that are often associated with Asian culture, (Using Asian as a broader term, since I tend to admire things from many sub-cultures) I plan to do my research to accurately recreate certain garments and headdresses! There will be some garments that will not be intended to be culturally accurate by any means and are just meant to be costumes, but I will make sure to give the proper name for those that are accurate!
Holiday Updates
I'd love to do some holiday-themed updates, such as for valentines which can include seductive garments, lingerie, heart shaped piercings, cupid accessories and all that! Some 4th of July updates will include things like fireworks...and fireworks..(i don't care for America so this will be a very minor update LOL)
And, that's all I have on the roster, if you guys have any ideas of updates/expansions you'd like to see, let me know! I'll be happy to take any advice :D
DELAYS/UPDATES/REFUNDS/PLEASE READ
Posted 4 years agoI didn't know I had to make this journal, but I've been receiving a couple of messages asking about updates on commissions and about my silence, I've sent an update to every commissioner I currently have that there will be a major delay.
I lost not one, but two of my cousins, one who was extremely close to me and this is the first death that I am experiencing in my life that is so close to me. I am NOT ok, I have NOT been ok, it hasn't even made a month since I've seen them both in their casket and I've stayed up thinking about it every fucking night for days. My sleep schedule is fucked, I have to stay up for about 24 hours a day just so I can force my body to go to sleep.
They fucking died down the street from me, they worked in the same exact fucking Walmart I went to every day for my groceries and I never fucking knew...
IM NOT OK.
Its been hard trying to draw, I'm trying to push through it but its really hard to when you're depressed and tired damn near every day, I am trying, and if you're not ok with waiting and want it done sooner then that is OK, I will provide a refund!
I've offered that option from the start, but I am sorry, if you're wanting something done before a certain date I am unable to deliver upon that right now and I want that to be respected
I was taking a break from messages for the holidays, it's already been pretty stressful as it is and I felt like it was common to have at least a week away, before getting back to grind mode after the holidays.
I am sorry, I should've made a post and made that clear, I didn't know it'd cause you guys to stress out or worry about progress..
I am not trying to make anyone feel ignored..I am upset about my wait times right now and I understand the amount of excitement people have for their commissions to be finished, and how disappointing it is when things are delayed, I am really sorry and I wish these circumstances never came up either..
So please just let me make it right, I just need some time to heal, I am trying my best when I have the energy to, and if you do not want to wait I will try to provide a refund as quickly as I can, I will not be upset with you for not wanting to wait..
I lost not one, but two of my cousins, one who was extremely close to me and this is the first death that I am experiencing in my life that is so close to me. I am NOT ok, I have NOT been ok, it hasn't even made a month since I've seen them both in their casket and I've stayed up thinking about it every fucking night for days. My sleep schedule is fucked, I have to stay up for about 24 hours a day just so I can force my body to go to sleep.
They fucking died down the street from me, they worked in the same exact fucking Walmart I went to every day for my groceries and I never fucking knew...
IM NOT OK.
Its been hard trying to draw, I'm trying to push through it but its really hard to when you're depressed and tired damn near every day, I am trying, and if you're not ok with waiting and want it done sooner then that is OK, I will provide a refund!
I've offered that option from the start, but I am sorry, if you're wanting something done before a certain date I am unable to deliver upon that right now and I want that to be respected
I was taking a break from messages for the holidays, it's already been pretty stressful as it is and I felt like it was common to have at least a week away, before getting back to grind mode after the holidays.
I am sorry, I should've made a post and made that clear, I didn't know it'd cause you guys to stress out or worry about progress..
I am not trying to make anyone feel ignored..I am upset about my wait times right now and I understand the amount of excitement people have for their commissions to be finished, and how disappointing it is when things are delayed, I am really sorry and I wish these circumstances never came up either..
So please just let me make it right, I just need some time to heal, I am trying my best when I have the energy to, and if you do not want to wait I will try to provide a refund as quickly as I can, I will not be upset with you for not wanting to wait..
I want to fuck the bear
Posted 4 years agothe freddy fazer in the new FNAF game that just released, security breach.
I want to fuck the freddy bear,
he's hot
and his voice is too
just me?
just me, ok.
I want to fuck the freddy bear,
he's hot
and his voice is too
just me?
just me, ok.
Funeral Has Passed
Posted 4 years agoThe service was yesterday, It really hit me when I saw them, but I feel like I got the closure I needed, now I'm just going to take the time I need to grieve, and slowly get back to resuming owed work.
I appreciate everyone's patience and kindness with me, especially those that wished me well and gave their condolences. No amount of words can express how grateful that makes me feel.
I apologize to those that have tried reaching out to me to talk about anything, and I have not responded. Replying to things has been a bit harder than usual.
I appreciate everyone's patience and kindness with me, especially those that wished me well and gave their condolences. No amount of words can express how grateful that makes me feel.
I apologize to those that have tried reaching out to me to talk about anything, and I have not responded. Replying to things has been a bit harder than usual.
21 Free Toyhouse Invite Codes
Posted 4 years agoTheir just sitting and I rather give them to those who need them, than ignoring them
just comment below and I'll send you a code to redeem
please redeem at least with 1-2 days, if its still unused I may end up giving it to someone else
just comment below and I'll send you a code to redeem
please redeem at least with 1-2 days, if its still unused I may end up giving it to someone else
Funeral approaching
Posted 4 years agoIt’ll be on December 4th, I’ll probably need a week after before i begin to feel like myself again, it’ll be a double funeral, so it’ll be a really hard day to sit through.
I want to thank everyone for wishing me well and being patient with me..
I want to thank everyone for wishing me well and being patient with me..
What Happened {tw: death}
Posted 4 years agoI'm currently with my family at the moment, I think I'm holding up OK, but I've still been in very much shock and I can't sleep.
Two of my cousins passed away, I never got chance to get close to the other one but I was very close to one of them, damn near grew up with them and there's not a lot of people that I'm close with in my family.
They got into an accident with a semi truck, the car went off road and the truck fell over, it happened near me and they were heading home from work, they actually worked in the local Walmart that I always went to but I never knew.
Nobody has been taking it very well and the past few days have just been depressing.
If there's a family member or someone out there that you have love for but haven't kept tabs on them, please take this as a sign too, I could've seen him so many months before the incident and I never knew because I hadn't kept tabs, and now I'm going to be stuck in regret for it.
Commissions and things will be delayed, I'll try to do as much as I can when I do have motivation but I am not all there mentally or physically.
Two of my cousins passed away, I never got chance to get close to the other one but I was very close to one of them, damn near grew up with them and there's not a lot of people that I'm close with in my family.
They got into an accident with a semi truck, the car went off road and the truck fell over, it happened near me and they were heading home from work, they actually worked in the local Walmart that I always went to but I never knew.
Nobody has been taking it very well and the past few days have just been depressing.
If there's a family member or someone out there that you have love for but haven't kept tabs on them, please take this as a sign too, I could've seen him so many months before the incident and I never knew because I hadn't kept tabs, and now I'm going to be stuck in regret for it.
Commissions and things will be delayed, I'll try to do as much as I can when I do have motivation but I am not all there mentally or physically.
cousing passed away
Posted 4 years agoI'm not sure how i feel, I never had a major death in the family before, I'm just worried about my family right now
i might be offline for a bit
i might be offline for a bit
