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Help! ::WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE::
Posted 10 years agoFour days ago, two days before my vacation, I came home to the police waiting for me. My mom and her boyfriend, my aunt, uncle, cousin and all my roommates.
They'd found my suicide note.
Now, granted, I'd meant to throw it away. It was a stupid mistake and I shouldn't have written it. And now I have to face all the people who care about me. I know you'll all say "well at least you have people who care about you," and if you do think that, then you've obviously never been in a situation where everyone you care about suddenly thinks you can't make your own decisions any more. Where they all pity you, and you feel fucking terrible because you know you made a mistake and now you've fucked everything up.
They decided I didn't need to be hospitalized, and I went on my vacation, but from there, things only got worse. Being with my mother the whole time, who kept coddling me, asking me how I was feeling, trying not to offend me and making me make about a million doctor's appointments was the cake. The frosting was my roommate texting me and telling me my other two roommates had decided that they didn't want to live with me any more.
Now that I'm home, I talked to one of those roommates, and she and the other girl have decided that they feel too much like they're taking care of me, and that they can barely even take care of themselves, so they can't live with me any more. They don't want to deal with me any more.
I'm not the kind of person who's depressed all the time. I'm a fun person most of the time. I just have episodes sometimes, and I feel down, and it's nice to have someone there just to tell me they'll listen to my problems. But I guess that's too much to ask for.
I don't have anywhere to go or anyone to live with. And I don't understand how a person could do this to someone who's already got so much on their plate...
If anyone lives in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and has some information that I could use, or needs a roommate, or anything, PLEASE let me know! I need help...
They'd found my suicide note.
Now, granted, I'd meant to throw it away. It was a stupid mistake and I shouldn't have written it. And now I have to face all the people who care about me. I know you'll all say "well at least you have people who care about you," and if you do think that, then you've obviously never been in a situation where everyone you care about suddenly thinks you can't make your own decisions any more. Where they all pity you, and you feel fucking terrible because you know you made a mistake and now you've fucked everything up.
They decided I didn't need to be hospitalized, and I went on my vacation, but from there, things only got worse. Being with my mother the whole time, who kept coddling me, asking me how I was feeling, trying not to offend me and making me make about a million doctor's appointments was the cake. The frosting was my roommate texting me and telling me my other two roommates had decided that they didn't want to live with me any more.
Now that I'm home, I talked to one of those roommates, and she and the other girl have decided that they feel too much like they're taking care of me, and that they can barely even take care of themselves, so they can't live with me any more. They don't want to deal with me any more.
I'm not the kind of person who's depressed all the time. I'm a fun person most of the time. I just have episodes sometimes, and I feel down, and it's nice to have someone there just to tell me they'll listen to my problems. But I guess that's too much to ask for.
I don't have anywhere to go or anyone to live with. And I don't understand how a person could do this to someone who's already got so much on their plate...
If anyone lives in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and has some information that I could use, or needs a roommate, or anything, PLEASE let me know! I need help...
Ask me things plaz
Posted 10 years agohttp://ask.fm/Whaleosaur I forgot I had this but I want to answer questions/feel like I have fans who care about what I do with my life |D
Merchandise
Posted 10 years agoI got a redbubble account and I put all my cute food art up there. Check it out! http://www.redbubble.com/people/whaleosaur/shop
Poftiim
Posted 10 years agoI want lots of art of him ; A ; like so much cute art of him doing cute things like watering flowers or arranging flowers or picking flowers (he likes flowers) or having a milkshake or swinging on a swing or one of those fancy swing benches or sitting out under the stars ugh
But I don't have any money because I don't have another job yet //sobs but oh god I need this so bad!!!
But I don't have any money because I don't have another job yet //sobs but oh god I need this so bad!!!
I wish I had Fans
Posted 10 years agoLike, actual fans of my work…Everyone has them. I just…don’t.
I know that I would get more if I produced more work…But I’m too depressed to produce more work…
And I’m depressed because I feel like nobody cares when I /do/ produce work…It’s a vicious circle. Why can’t I just take pride in my own work like people say? Why do I need affirmation from others? Why am I such a needy piece of shit?
I know that I would get more if I produced more work…But I’m too depressed to produce more work…
And I’m depressed because I feel like nobody cares when I /do/ produce work…It’s a vicious circle. Why can’t I just take pride in my own work like people say? Why do I need affirmation from others? Why am I such a needy piece of shit?
COMICS
Posted 10 years agoI want to make comics.
Here are the comics I wanna make and their plots. Only one furry comic I wanna make, and two human ones and one kind of kemonomimi one. One is lesbo and the other three are GHEY
I have to reach $100/month on Patreon before I can start, though! But don't fret. Every one of my patrons gets input into where my comics go next, and you also get a lot of other great stuff if you pledge, including free art and the chance to have your character appear in a cameo or two in one or more of my comics!
Take a look at the video
https://youtu.be/ZnTyK0QYESE
and my Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/whaleosaur
Here are the comics I wanna make and their plots. Only one furry comic I wanna make, and two human ones and one kind of kemonomimi one. One is lesbo and the other three are GHEY
I have to reach $100/month on Patreon before I can start, though! But don't fret. Every one of my patrons gets input into where my comics go next, and you also get a lot of other great stuff if you pledge, including free art and the chance to have your character appear in a cameo or two in one or more of my comics!
Take a look at the video
https://youtu.be/ZnTyK0QYESE
and my Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/whaleosaur
Wish Me Luck
Posted 10 years agoI just got fired today...
My depression and anxiety were making it hard for me to perform adequately, but that actually wasn't the reason I was fired this morning.
Yesterday I had five minutes before I was technically off of work, so I was helping a friend cut out bubble pictures from pieces of paper. My boss's boss came up and asked why I was helping, so I told her it was because I had a few minutes before I should leave. She reprimanded me for not doing more quality checking in my last five minutes of shift, and then she left. She told my boss, and they decided to terminate my employment.
I don't understand what people are thinking when they expect others to work literally every minute of the day. I had finished my production sheet, and if I'd done any more quality checking I would have only been able to QC like one file...
I got fired for cutting out a picture of a bubble...
This is the first time I've ever been fired from a job.
I guess I'm going back to accepting commissions for now.
My depression and anxiety were making it hard for me to perform adequately, but that actually wasn't the reason I was fired this morning.
Yesterday I had five minutes before I was technically off of work, so I was helping a friend cut out bubble pictures from pieces of paper. My boss's boss came up and asked why I was helping, so I told her it was because I had a few minutes before I should leave. She reprimanded me for not doing more quality checking in my last five minutes of shift, and then she left. She told my boss, and they decided to terminate my employment.
I don't understand what people are thinking when they expect others to work literally every minute of the day. I had finished my production sheet, and if I'd done any more quality checking I would have only been able to QC like one file...
I got fired for cutting out a picture of a bubble...
This is the first time I've ever been fired from a job.
I guess I'm going back to accepting commissions for now.
Website
Posted 10 years agowww.whaleosaur.org
Let me know how it's looking so far! Give me feedback. Is it user-friendly? Are you finding everything you need? Do all the links work, etc.? C:
Let me know how it's looking so far! Give me feedback. Is it user-friendly? Are you finding everything you need? Do all the links work, etc.? C:
I Got Some Mail in the Mail
Posted 10 years agoF5 For New Icon!
Posted 10 years agoThe original icon picture as I commissioned: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15656652/
Bad End
Posted 10 years agoUnfortunately, the fundraiser for Zen is no longer necessary... Zen the bunny died less than half an hour ago on my roommate's bed, with both of us around her. I can't say she went peacefully, but at least she wasn't alone in her last moments.
The $15 that was donated will go to the cost of cremating her remains. Thank you.
The $15 that was donated will go to the cost of cremating her remains. Thank you.
Closed Species'
Posted 10 years ago
ali said it like no one else I've seen in her journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6444239/But to reiterate and dare to publicly post my opinion, I HATE closed species'. Especially when it's just two different normal animals put together...Or like a fluffier version of something. Or a dog with hooves or something. Just because you thought of it first (or think you did) doesn't mean that you have rights to it.
And it's ridiculous how white knights attack people due to similarities. I, myself, have been the victim of crazy white knights before, and the whole thing is just incredibly ridiculous.
Some people really do put a lot of work into their designs, but I don't think that's ever a reason to "close" a species. Like if you make it open and still put out your own designs and people pay a million dollars for them, then good for you! But don't threaten people with defamation just because you can't handle someone else's character looking like yours. Not everyone has $400 on hand to buy an eeray, for example.
So don't force people into a "who has more money" position for characters they could design themselves. Creating isn't a war, it's supposed to be a community effort. Things are always based on other things; there is no originality in the world any more. So suck up and deal with it. If I see a thing I like, I'm going to interpret it how I will and make something of it. It's called inspiration. Look it up.
Storenvy
Posted 10 years agoI got a Storenvy. I'll be putting up things I made and also eventually prints there, so go ahead and check it out! I also have the cutest little cute food buttons there, only $2.00! And that's INCLUDING SHIPPING!
http://whaleosaur.storenvy.com/
Also, no one has donated to help save our bunny yet...Not even a dollar. In fact, only one close friend of mine has even helped spread the word... I guess that's what happens when you aren't popular...
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6434102/
http://whaleosaur.storenvy.com/
Also, no one has donated to help save our bunny yet...Not even a dollar. In fact, only one close friend of mine has even helped spread the word... I guess that's what happens when you aren't popular...
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6434102/
Help Save Our Bunny
Posted 10 years agoSo I'm not getting the dog....and here's why:
http://www.youcaring.com/pet-expens.....in-need/293845
My roommate's and my bun needs a lot of help...A few days ago we noticed a tilt in her head, and that she was off-balance. We looked it up, and it's a condition called head tilt, which results from a number of things, including ear infection and brain disorder.
I already spent $260 at the initial vet visit, but they still need to find out what is causing the tilt and treat her for it. I've heard of the treatments costing up to and over $1000. I have like $70 after this vet trip, and my roommate has almost no money, so we were kind of hoping we could get a little help from some kind souls ; u ; We're scraping together as much as we can, in the meantime.
Please signal boost this if you can!! We really want our bun to live a long, happy life with us! Q u Q
Thank you!
http://www.youcaring.com/pet-expens.....in-need/293845
My roommate's and my bun needs a lot of help...A few days ago we noticed a tilt in her head, and that she was off-balance. We looked it up, and it's a condition called head tilt, which results from a number of things, including ear infection and brain disorder.
I already spent $260 at the initial vet visit, but they still need to find out what is causing the tilt and treat her for it. I've heard of the treatments costing up to and over $1000. I have like $70 after this vet trip, and my roommate has almost no money, so we were kind of hoping we could get a little help from some kind souls ; u ; We're scraping together as much as we can, in the meantime.
Please signal boost this if you can!! We really want our bun to live a long, happy life with us! Q u Q
Thank you!
I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE JUST BOUGHT A DOG
Posted 10 years ago....YEP :U
Ohhhh Myyyyy Goddddd
Posted 10 years agoSo since I have a job now (!!!) I can...like...do frivolous things with my money? Yes? Okay, good. Because that's what I'm doing.
I started out with making new business cards for my suits. Next will be cards for my art and social media.
And now I want to make a website. But some butthole took my domain name using go-daddy and didn't do anything with the site for 2 years. Luckily for me, though, unless they pay to keep that domain by Feb. 23rd, I can snatch it up then. Once I have my website, I will be all-powerful.
Anyway, the site would be for my art AND my suits, as well as a place to find me elsewhere on the web, ask me questions, etc. And having a domain name is generally under $10 a month, so it's not like it's a massive expenditure.
When I open up art commissions again, I'm going to only select clean pieces to draw so that I can start making content to create a new commission pricing page with. I'll open my commissions again for at least one piece soon, probably next week sometime, so get your refs ready if you plan on commissioning me!
Until then, you should totally follow me on SnapChat (or as I like to call it, chapsnat). The name's - you guessed it - whaleosaur. I'll follow you back!
I started out with making new business cards for my suits. Next will be cards for my art and social media.
And now I want to make a website. But some butthole took my domain name using go-daddy and didn't do anything with the site for 2 years. Luckily for me, though, unless they pay to keep that domain by Feb. 23rd, I can snatch it up then. Once I have my website, I will be all-powerful.
Anyway, the site would be for my art AND my suits, as well as a place to find me elsewhere on the web, ask me questions, etc. And having a domain name is generally under $10 a month, so it's not like it's a massive expenditure.
When I open up art commissions again, I'm going to only select clean pieces to draw so that I can start making content to create a new commission pricing page with. I'll open my commissions again for at least one piece soon, probably next week sometime, so get your refs ready if you plan on commissioning me!
Until then, you should totally follow me on SnapChat (or as I like to call it, chapsnat). The name's - you guessed it - whaleosaur. I'll follow you back!
No longer going to MFF
Posted 11 years agoI simply don't have the money... It would be $45 for a badge and then $80 for a room and I literally have less than $20 to my name...
Oh well...I hope those who are going have a good time! C:
Oh well...I hope those who are going have a good time! C:
I don't know why, but...
Posted 11 years agoI got a Weasyl account?
https://www.weasyl.com/~whaleosaur
Not sure why. Everyone's doing it I just jumped on the bandwagon.
//rolls out
https://www.weasyl.com/~whaleosaur
Not sure why. Everyone's doing it I just jumped on the bandwagon.
//rolls out
MFF Meme
Posted 11 years agoWhere are you staying?
The Rosemont
What day are you getting there?
IDK yet :U
How long are you going?
From whenever I get there to Sunday or Monday. I dunno exactly, but I'll be there all weekend~!
How are you traveling?
A relaxing 6-7-hour car trip with the MN Furs.
Who will you be rooming with?
Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Whoever wants to hang out with me Q u Q
What do you look like?
http://photos-f.ak.instagram.com/hp.....45707630_n.jpg
http://d.facdn.net/art/erraticshepn.....on2014_043.jpg
What is your gender?
u v u I'm a lady~
How tall are you?
5'3"
How is the best way to find you?
Either I'll be in suit (posted above) or look for my face!
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Shout "BEE" or "PōFTIIM". I'll respond to either one and go "HUH??? WHA???"
Are there any panels/events you might be attending?
Not sure yet, but I will definitely be in the fursuit parade!
Will you be going to parties?
Potentially, if someone invites me/there are cute girls there u v u
Will you be fursuiting?
Yes, at least part of the time~!
Do you have an artist table?
; u ; I wish...
Are you mated/in a relationship?
Nope! But ladies only!!
Can I talk to you?
DO IT. DO THE THING.
Can I touch you?
Not in weird ways ಠ_ಠ Don't be a creep.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Ask me first pls.
Can I visit your room?
Only if I tell you you can at MFF.
Can I buy you drinks?
Sure! As long as it's not alcoholic, blech!
Can I give you stuff?
WOW, STUFF?? I WOULD LOVE SOME STUFF, THANKS!
Are you nice?
Too nice.
Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Probs wandering around in/out of suit idk -rolls-
What/where will you be eating?
Everything.
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Sure, if you ask first!
Can I take your picture?
Do it, I don't care~
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
MAKE ALL THE FRIENDS.
How can i contact you?
Umm, here or if I give you my number, text me :P
Fall Fursuiting
Posted 11 years agoI want to do a photoshoot. Who wants to join me/take pictures?
OC MEME
Posted 11 years agoRULES :
1. Pick one of your OCs.
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your OC.
3. Tag four people to do this meme!
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal
OC picked: Poftiim!
1. What is your name?
It's Poftiim!
2. Do you know why you were named that?
My parents went to Romania before I was born, and they liked the sound of the word.
3. Single or taken?
Single (for now)
4. Have any abilities or powers?
I have a green thumb!
5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
Wha...?
6. What's your eye color?
Pink
7. How about hair color?
Brown
8. Have you any family members?
I'm an only child
9. Oh? How about pets?
Do goldfish count?
10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
Coffee
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
Gardening~
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
I'm sure I have, but not on purpose...
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
NO! QAQ
14. What kind of animal are you?
I don't know...
15. Name your worst habits.
Probably my laziness and messiness.
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
Kyle (kittendamin), because he's so successful!
17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
I think I'm bi?
18. Do you go to school?
I dropped out of University...
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
I...I don't know? Not for a while, at least.
20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
...I had a stalker once... //shivers
21. What are you most afraid of?
Probably dying...and centipedes.
22. What do you usually wear?
...Clothes?
23. What's one food that tempts you?
Strawberry shortcake!
24. Am I annoying you?
No.
25. Well, it's still not over!
That's okay!
26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
Probably lower class.
27. How many friends do you have?
I have a few close friends.
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
I only like fruit pies.
30. Favorite drink?
Lemonade, on a hot day!
31. What's your favorite place?
The abandoned observatory just outside of town.
32. Are you interested in anyone~?
M...Maybe...!
33. That was a stupid question.
//blushes
34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
In the ocean. I've never been to the ocean.
35. What's your type?
I don't think I have a type.
36. Any fetishes?
Fetish?? I-I don't think so...!
37. Seme or uke?
What? (he bottoms)
38. Camping or indoors?
iI like both!
39. Tag People!
1. Pick one of your OCs.
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your OC.
3. Tag four people to do this meme!
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal
OC picked: Poftiim!
1. What is your name?
It's Poftiim!
2. Do you know why you were named that?
My parents went to Romania before I was born, and they liked the sound of the word.
3. Single or taken?
Single (for now)
4. Have any abilities or powers?
I have a green thumb!
5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
Wha...?
6. What's your eye color?
Pink
7. How about hair color?
Brown
8. Have you any family members?
I'm an only child
9. Oh? How about pets?
Do goldfish count?
10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
Coffee
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
Gardening~
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
I'm sure I have, but not on purpose...
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
NO! QAQ
14. What kind of animal are you?
I don't know...
15. Name your worst habits.
Probably my laziness and messiness.
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
Kyle (kittendamin), because he's so successful!
17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
I think I'm bi?
18. Do you go to school?
I dropped out of University...
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
I...I don't know? Not for a while, at least.
20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
...I had a stalker once... //shivers
21. What are you most afraid of?
Probably dying...and centipedes.
22. What do you usually wear?
...Clothes?
23. What's one food that tempts you?
Strawberry shortcake!
24. Am I annoying you?
No.
25. Well, it's still not over!
That's okay!
26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
Probably lower class.
27. How many friends do you have?
I have a few close friends.
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
I only like fruit pies.
30. Favorite drink?
Lemonade, on a hot day!
31. What's your favorite place?
The abandoned observatory just outside of town.
32. Are you interested in anyone~?
M...Maybe...!
33. That was a stupid question.
//blushes
34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
In the ocean. I've never been to the ocean.
35. What's your type?
I don't think I have a type.
36. Any fetishes?
Fetish?? I-I don't think so...!
37. Seme or uke?
What? (he bottoms)
38. Camping or indoors?
iI like both!
39. Tag People!
WEEEHHHH
Posted 11 years agoim just cry cause no one will ever luv me
//weeps in a corner
and don't tell me it'll happen or any a that crap neither cause it won't and i'd be delusional to think so
//weeps in a corner
and don't tell me it'll happen or any a that crap neither cause it won't and i'd be delusional to think so
NEW FURSUITING ACCOUNT
Posted 11 years ago
HIT IT UP YO
also how do you do the thing where you link to someone's account with just their username? Not with the icon?
I'm sick
Posted 11 years agoI feel like barfing
barfing all the time
but I can't because I don't have anything in my stomach //cries
halp
barfing all the time
but I can't because I don't have anything in my stomach //cries
halp
Open for Commissions
Posted 11 years agoIt might be slow, but I need some extra income.
Would LOVE to do more femboys!
You can comment here or note me.
Would LOVE to do more femboys!
You can comment here or note me.
