Hi for you all!

So sad to write about it, but my mental health now crumbling before my eyes with every new day. I do not know what I need to do to take myself in my own hands, I am full of fear, hate of myself and anxiety of every thing I do and every words I say to my dearest friends and parents.
The main problem is that my parents are not believing that people have mental problems. They just saying “nah, it is only your imagination, go find boyfriend, have sex with him, make children and everything gonna be okay after that”. They know that I am afraid of having relationship with mans after one story in school, they now my fear of them and myself, but they do not know that I have girlfriend. If they’ll know… well, all is gonna be very sad about that their daughter having “fun” with another girl. Saying me that they wanted me to be married, wanted childrens from me is killing me every day.
With this problem goes another one. I do not like how I drew, do not like the style I drew, do not like the time I spend to one drawing. When normal people drew one art for like several hours, I spent days to say myslef “well, now it is looking not bad”. I redrawing, redrawing, trying to find the way I should go in my art, but there is a big black hole of minds. I am really sorry that this situations touches my commissions and YCHs, that you are all waiting for me. I am really glad you are all good people and understanding me, but I am feeling very, very bad of making you wait. I am trying my best and my arms are shaking right now I writing this message to journal.
With this all problems, minds and etc., I started to be a shitty person that angrying on people I be friends of. In last days the only words they are hearing from me that I do not want to live, do not want them to be friends with me and all my problems. If I trying to talk out to get some their help, I begin to fulfill by fear that all I said is a shit and can offend them, I just… feeling a lot of pain in my heart. I am really sorry that my girlfriend in love with me. She can find better person without such problems. I feel guilty to this.
My parents do not want to help me reach the psychotherapist, they do not want to help me with money about it. I do not have motivation to do something, I do not have motivation to live right now. The psychotherapist in my city costs around $50 for each meeting, it is a lot of money in Russia (for example I can live with this money for month), and flat rent costs $260 each month. For me it is better to save $50 for flat rent or food except of spending it to doctor. Idk what I gonna do in near future if I did not do something to feel better. The only tablets I can buy is some pills from the frantic rhythm of the heart and worry to just fall asleep.
If earlier PC games were helping me to get out bad thoughts, now it is not helping me anymore.

I am really sorry before all of you. I am trying to draw, trying to do something to get out from this Hell and it is very hard for me.
I need a little more hiatus. Sorry for being an useless piece of shit.
I will try to give all of my commissions in near 2-3 months, at least I will return money if will feeling myself not able to do something.

I still need something to eat and live for, so I opened only one commission by halfbody art or sketch fullbody. Price is $55 for each one. Comment this journal if you want one.

Example of halfbody: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31407768/
Example of fullbody sketch: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/33215123/

Thank you!

I need to buy some products for life, so I need a little money for this. You will help me a lot to not die from hungry xD
Will be done in few days!
$55 for character. Wings is +$7.

Example: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31407768/

Sorry for all of you, my hiatus increased until October 30 due to mental problems. I am not feeling myself good enough for now to working on my usual speed. All of my commissioners will get a little extra art for waiting as my sorry for you.
Sorry. :(

Heya!

Tomorrow at night I will be in the train to Moscow. From 2nd to 10th of October I will take break from work due to Russian ComicCon/Igromir. As I'll be home, I will continue working!

Thank you for understanding.

You can grab it here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31485639/

I need money to pay a rent, so I'd like to take two reference sheet commissions as the last time. Maybe someone interested in this too.
Any species! For $150 as the last time.
If anthro/furry: two fullbody, one/two headshots and some details for your choice (NSFW example)
If feral/dragon/idk: one fullbody, two/three headshots and some details for your choice (SFW example)
Comment to claim, please.
1)
2)

Hi! Since my stickers are going well as YCHs, maybe someone want them too as commissions with own desires about idea/emotion on each sticker?
Some examples: 1, 2 and 3
Each sticker is $27 as a fixprice.
Comment to claim, please. Two slots are available. :>

It is a pretty easy for me to do and I like how it turns out at the end. Soooo I decided to open them again with two-three slots.
The price is $55, artistic freedom (I choose idea and pose, no WIPs), for the second character +100%. Any species. <з
Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31306840/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31481136/

I will back to work in few days, thank you for waiting.

BLACKLIST:
 KaiTheSharkWolf

Heyo!
I am want to draw the reference sheet as a example of work and need one person interested in. There will be two fullbody (back and front view), one/two headshots and some details for your choice.
The first reference sheet will be with fix price as $150. The work will be quick.
You will also help me with paying rent because I do not have ideas for YCHs now. :')
Comment to claim, please. Any species and gender.

Idk, I think I will stop posting here fan art in this account. There is a lot of work like YCHs and commissions and my artworks with fanart theme are a little not fitting in my gallery. I am thinking about creating the second account for fanart only, but will be this interesting for you?

BTW Merry Christmas for all of you!

My close friend DogScavenger is selling OTA adoptable, please have a look on this cute character!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29840292/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29840292/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29840292/

You can claim it here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29723490/

Hello guys!
I have a problem with my tongue piercing and I need a little money for a visit to my piercing master. I am opening two slots, price for one is $30. If soneone will buy two slots as one artwork, price for all will be $55. Busts will be done in 2 days.

Both slots requested to be fullbody, sold to

Open for 5 bust commissions to pay my part of rent room. All bust commission will be done between YCHs and commissions. 27USD. For two characters 54USD and etc.
Little rules:
- I will send sketch for approve;
- You can ask me to draw emotion for your own choose or leave decision about idea to me;
- NSFW +5usd.

SLOTS:
1. [done]
2. [done]
3. [done]
4. [done]
5. [done]

Example of busts:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27858212/ (NSFW)
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27695470/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27659829/

I am finally back and ready to work now. Sorry for everyone who waiting art from me.

Welp, yes, it is happening. My last AT was done a long time ago and I want to do one or two again.
Please, comment this journal, I will send a note when I choose. :)

I am finally back and ready to work now. Sorry for everyone who waiting art from me.
★TO-DO list★
YCHs:
•••
Commissions:
1. FB comm with BG for Night_Wolf_Omega [sketch is ready]
2. 2 FB comm with BG for Hacken — 1/2 done
3. FB comm with BG for unknown12x [sketch is ready]
•••
Collabs:
1. YCH Dragon's love — collab with dogscavenger [waiting for buyer's approval about sketch]
2. Сapture — collab with dogscavenger
3. Doggie — collab with dogscavenger
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•••
★Waiting art from★
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