All my groceries were higher prices tonight! Great job on saving all that money so far!

As a kink artist and content creator, is it more damaging to the causes I believe in to voice my opinions online?

I've been trying to find a proper way to word this. It's one of those things that's been bugging me for years.

Sometimes I imagine myself as being only allowed to present myself to others online as solely a provider of kink content. That the other people I speak to should only see me as a smut peddler. That I'm not to show anything else lest I offend their beliefs.

That being said I'm annoyed that this always feels like a one-way street.

The man that cheated to get into the Oval Office of the White House is a Russian asset. He proved it today, and that couch-fucker next to him needs to watch his mouth when he speaks to a real man like President Zelensky.

As an ostensibly strait, ostensibly male, white person with lightish hair and blue eyes, this has happened to me multiple times in my life. And opre than once at that.

One of my few goals in life is to make sure this sorta thing never happens to me again.

A friend's mother is no longer going to get post-surgery in-home care coverage because of Medicaid cuts.

How much did Mr. Trump's little NASCAR Nuremberg Rally appearance cost the country?

How many government subsidies does Mr. Apartheid Emerald Man-Baby get for his goofy little projects?

I just raised a bunch of prices in the store I worked the other day, all across the board.

So once again I beseech thee: how are we on the saving money thing?

*Looks at Google Maps*

*Looks at my grocery prices*

Seems like a waste of time.

How the hell am I going to take four* more years of this?

*Probably more than that.

My block list over all my social media outlets over the years has remained very small. Only blocks I've ever issued have been due to spamming.

I've never found it useful for my philosophy on communication. For me, it galvanizes the feelings of the blocked if they become aware of it. Almost makes them appear to have won.

Don't misunderstand me: it's a useful means to prevent harmful people from having access to your spaces. It's just doesn't work for me.

After all, I like to think that, after knowing that I've seen their posts, that the silence that follows might be more maddening.

I'll have more words when I can think of them. Right now I'm a bit too numb. Just wanted to acknowledge his passing as something that I wasn't ready for. You could tell there was so much toothpaste left in that tube. He has so much more to get dreamy about.

https://youtu.be/nbnhQvaAu_I?si=VpVwvOsXHprv-EAI

Blue Velvet was what really got me into his stuff. The ending gets me every time. So simple, and yet too gratifying for me to hold back emotion.

Just stunned. I need to think about this.

How's buying Greenland gonna make my groceries cheaper?

https://x.com/litteralyme0/status/1.....tonIA&s=19

Ohh, how I wish it was.

Thanks Fivver! You really tried to make me feel like offing myself today with your shitty new ad!

Every day, I feel more and more like Sam Neill's character at the end of In The Mouth Of Madness. Eventually I'll be considered insane by being the only sane person left.

The ad in question is one can stomach it: https://youtu.be/hJYvwmodYIU?si=7DQQWS1oQs11xNKK

The YouTube comments are actually okay. DON'T look at the Twitter ones. They messed me up.

https://youtu.be/R4xWbRBLj2I?si=m2dfJMaLCYYizMid

Something that's been in my head for a little bit now.

The Holidays.

Physically exhausted all the time.

Emotionally starved.

Feel underappreciated for being myself,

While being over-appriciated for my ability to do Normie labor and know too much about shit I get paid too little for.

No time for myself.

Too much time involving other people's crap.

"What do you want for a gift?"

And I'm not allowed to say "An uninterrupted 24-hour period where I'm awake and not required to interact with a single person."

I'm supposed to want stuff and spend my scant funds on crap for someone else.

It begins.

Bah Humbug.

Just saw an AI illustration mimicking chibi anime style that I genuinely thought was made by a person.

I thought I was better at spotting those.

And there goes a lot of my motivation for today.

My motivation has been very rough the past week. I can't really get anything done, and I'm feeling very deflated.

Feeling especially like I'm trespassing on everyone's existence right now. Like I don't belong anywhere I am or spend my time. Maybe as if I'm a spy in enemy territory, hoping not to lose my cover.

This is a question for those in the US that voted Conservative that may happen to read this.

A lot (but not all) conservative politicians in the US are going along with plans that involve removing pornographic material from the internet. This will affect this site. This will affect my art outlets. This will stifle what I create.

So I'd like to ask: was ruining my creative outlets worth it for short term projected financial gains? Or perhaps you don't believe such measures will be put into effect. If so, then how do you believe we will defend ourselves against such attempts against our freedom of expression?

Edit 1: It's been a few hours now and I have yet to get a response from the parties I asked for. I know some of you watching fit the criteria I laid out. I'd like to know what you think about the future of the kink artwork you enjoy so much.

I guess this is something I should read into, what has been transpiring the past 24 hours.

I'm frustrated. Apparently I'm surrounded by simpletons. People that only care about "muh taxes" or "muh interest rates". I don't think they're all racists or fascists. There are a lot of those. But that's not what caused all this. It was all those people that put money over progression.

That being said, as a person with little money, I hope all their money disappears. I hope they only find financial despair. Karma is karma.

I forget, however, that no matter how I feel I'm just a kink art minstrel. No one wants to hear my feelings about real things. No one wants to hear such mean things from me. Just keep drawing shit pictures of furries in casts and rubber and shut up. Like I was told back in 2020: they come for the cool art, not politics.

Well, enjoy it while you can, because I imagine posting explicit adult content is going to become difficult in coming years here in The States.

And Hell, with the way things are going, I don't know if I'll even be alive for much longer.

The sky-colored site's so much of a better place. So I'm going to be really mean to TERF's and other losers on Twitter until I get banned XD

I've always had this dream that someday I'd create something that was beloved by many, and would be liked for its own merits while I remain mostly obscure.

I get that people see what I create and that could make someone want to get to know me. But honestly, I'm a shitty person and a crappy friend. I don't socialize very well, and I don't have a very good opinion of myself. I don't like being the focus. I don't like being the center of attention. If I could make something truly anonymously, and people liked it and never knew who made it, I'd be so pleased.

I'd almost like to reduce my activity online. But then I have the problem of not being able to devote time to creating things to compensate and fulfill my desired status. A full time management job, home responsibilities, and needing a lot more sleep than I'm getting. All that gets in the way.

As a queer person. A queer person that can pass for straight but I know who I am. As I have been every four years: I'm nervous. I'm worried. My mind is occupied. A lot of people would eliminate my hobbies if they got their way. I like making kink. That's being threatened right now. I know there's more important things than that. But that's got me very anxious nowadays.

If any single piece I post here is removed for any kind of alleged age-related violation, I plan to cease all further use of this page. I will also begin to cease use of this site altogether for viewing or communication as much as humanly possible. I intend to post elsewhere, and will import art that I find relevant and/or fitting to those new venues. Ideally, I'd want to remove my entire artistic presence from this site if this situation were to occur. After all, it'd be very rude to the buyer's of this site if my art were offensive to their shareholders and advertisers in any way.

A couple of these sort of strikes just hit close to home. So I'm girding myself for anything coming my way.

Right now, these are other places I plan to utilize. Or at least leave a trail to follow me elsewhere:

https://inkbunny.net/WingCommanderRudoji

https://www.weasyl.com/~rudojilape

https://www.deviantart.com/rudojilape

https://bsky.app/profile/lavenderth.....at.bsky.social

https://twitter.com/LavenderRattata.....Znjzg&s=09

Discord - "LavenderTheRat#8397"

As a mainly kink/fetish artist, I'm deeply disturbed by yet another puritanical attempt to remove art and artists from one of the last bastions of kink expression online.

Once again, I don't believe I'm going to end up the target of such removals. However I do know that a lot of my audience happens to fall into the categories that are currently under said unfair scrutiny.

Unfortunately, I believe there is little I can do to really help or even quell the uncertainties of the future here on FA. It seems like every season these past few years have been full of unwanted surprises. The passing of Drangoneer has created a chance for the weird puritan opportunists to attempt to steer this site's direction to one that I don't personally comprehend. Is it a morality issue? Some kind of misguided means to make the site sellable?

All I know, is that I'll have my backup pages elsewhere that can post to in the future (hopefully).

Besides my imagery, I'd like to actually take some time to start writing the stories of some of my characters. I've been nervous about doing this for some time. I'm worried about over-solidifying concepts about these characters that I feel like I couldn't retract easily in the future. I know this is a tad irrational. But now I'm beginning to see these narratives as being a poison that I need to get out of me in order to move on and improve these characters.

I will ask anyone that is reading this: where should I start? I have some ideas that I'd like to try, but I'd like to put it to suggestion in order to narrow my focus when I have time to write.

---

1) Rudoji's life as ageless paranormal agent and supernatural aberration fighter. This would be a modern Gothic narrative spanning from the 1940's up through present day and beyond.

The fun part about this would be being able to write it somewhat out of order, as I could pick any number of his various escapades and encounters to start from, while keeping the continuity that I loosely have down in my mind. The only tough part would be having to work on the realistic 20/21st century settings and being reverent to Redd's WWII veteran status.

More than likely, I'd build one off characters that Redd would interact with as he gets thrust into their lives due to supernatural activity. Making those characters and settings convincing would be a workout for my lax writing.

---

2) My Ivalice monster hunting clan. This would take place in the same setting as Final Fantasy XII and Tactics Advance, and would follow Lakunas the moogle and his allies as they make a name for themselves being defenders for hire.

The first stories would focus on the clan becoming a competent team of public defenders, fending off magical monsters and the occasional bandit gangs, with an overarching story of intrigue as to why all these problems are happening. This will culminate in a twisting tale focusing on a specific character for the last half.

I'd have a lot of creative freedom with this one, and can be dynamic with my world building. That being said I'd also have to stick to a relatively linear storytelling style, and would have to flesh out the ensemble cast carefully.

---

3) Lavender and her cadre of girlfriends. This would just be slice-of-life stories, with a touch of absurdity and pokemon humor. Lavender would be the main focus, with her job as courier for the questionable business of her salazzle boyfriend being playing a major part in the story. Best way to think about it would be: what if Grand Theft Auto was also a Scott Pilgrim-themed dating sim. Please save your cringe for after this journal.

Objectively the easiest for me to practice writing. This would turn out borderline 2010's Adult Swim levels of narrative, but I'd have fun in the process. Couldn't say that any of it could be taken seriously, and will probably be the only stories that would contain smut and explicit sexual content in the canon.

---

4) Contrail the Flying Earth Pony. I'd be able to tell the story of a wingless earth pony that builds flying machines. Coming from a foalhood of religious repression, to striking out on his own seeking sponsors for his crazy flying machine ideas, to moving to Ponyville to find a place to call home. Beyond that, he would eventually build aeroplanes that can crack a sonic rainboom, stir the ire of Cloudsdale, and set out on a quest beyond Equestria to find the ultimate source of fuel for his engines.

This would mean rewatching MLP thoroughly. Something I'm definitely not opposed to. This is one I feel would be the most rewarding to me mentally. Something about Contrail screams in my mind to get out, and his story would be probably the most fun to properly span out, since I've spent nearly a decade workshopping it with my significant other. Yet I've been scared to put it down in solid words because of how much has changed since. Hell, I even made a significant change on the car ride to a pony convention.

---

With all of these, I'd be willing to do some illustrations for. I ask for focus ideas because I also would like to put out an offer for help in proofreading and workshopping to anyone willing to listen. I don't know if I can afford to pay in anything but artwork, but this isn't meant to be professional. I want to start getting some of these stories out of my head is all.

This came to mind while waking up this morning.

If I get my viewership from making NSFW artwork, am I defeating the purpose of said viewership by not selling commissions?

Is the idea that I don't charge for my work making me a kind of pariah with other creative people? Or is it also applicable that I'm just not good enough to do either with wider good will?

It's this kind of thinking that makes me think I should focus entirely on my job and stop doing this stuff. That I'm tricking myself into believing that this is worth it.