Heya fluffs. Alright I think I figured out what to make next. A "post apocalyptic feral wohofubuchip." Should look pretty cool if I can actually pull it off :P here's hoping

I'm just curious how many of ya are still out here following my art so how bout just sending me a quick poke or hi? If you want of course :P

Ola fluffbutts. Now that my recent move is done and I'm getting close to being a bit settled here I will get my account all updated and prettied up. I have a few completed pieces to add here as well as a few new W.I.P. to add. Hope ya all have been great or at the vary least surviving :P Once I'm back in my groove I'll first be completing my metallic fursuit figurine project. pics coming soon here for anyone not following my twitter.

Also happy 4/20 to ya all or well at least those that toke heh err and a happy random day in April if ya don't. Blark blark yo

Hello fluffbutts *waves* I am still around just been busy. I do have some pics coming of projects I have been working on last while so I hope you guys like em. I will get them uploaded soon. Now where did I leave that rock I crawled out from.

I am still alive I should prolly mention heh and I am still sculpting it's just been a bit slower this last year with moves n family stoof. I do have one piece completed which I should get pics up soon and another I'm working on now. Also I've been working on a few paintings as well but those are very slow going as I ride that learning curve hehe. so yeah updates on stuff soon. Miss youse

Since I'm lil bored n stuff here's a random fubuchip fact for no one since who would really care anyway lol My job requires me to move stuff. That's it, move massive stuff A over to massive machine B using heavy equipment (vehicles) indoors etc. Basically handling the flow in and out of a raw material for a company I've been with for ages now. Anyway was slow at work the other day so for no other reason then boredom and a slight curiosity I sat n worked some numbers n stuff. I estimate in the time I've been here I've personally moved the ruff equivalent of about 10,000 Statue of Liberties O.O or 4,500,000,000 lb hehe I may not have the best or most interesting job but I still think that's kinda cool in a lame kinda way. umm ok bye

See the problem about being a pessimist with a way to overly active imagination is that I can't do fucking anything easily. Every time I do anything I instantly think of how it could fuck up on me.
I just went n placed my lap top to rest on the top of a box, paused then had to go back a min later just to turn it the other way because I rationalized that if someone came into my room and sat on top of the box without knowing it that the way I put it there it could possible be snapped in half or cracked where if I turned it there was a greater chance it would simply be pushed into the box with the weight of the person snapping the tape... so I turned it. But this is how I operate. I know I do it but I can't control it.
Kicker is that no one ever comes into my room and sits on anything... but my stupid mind which I can never quiet tells me that it's still a possibility so must be taken into account.
I guess I plan worse case scenario for most things because to many times in my life that has been the case. Perhaps. Psychology isn't exactly my strong point though.
There an un-asked for view into my mind heh sorry. Later fluffs

Ola fluffs *waves* Just wanted to send out a quick congratulatory journal entry out to  GSD who won my custom sculpture commission in Camp Feral's raffle this past week. He's an absolute sweetheart so it made me wag when I heard his name called. I hope I can make something for him that he will truly love.

I was also made an honorary sheppy at feral so in honor of that I will at some point in the not to distant future make an attempt at a Wohofubushep hehe or maybe a 'fubuchipshep. I dunno I'll see what I can come up with :P Thanks again guys *snugs*

*waves* Ola fluffs. I am still alive no worries :P Sorry I haven't been to active or talkative lately. Dealing with stuffs.

My bro is doing alright for those curious. He's still a bit crazy or whatever for sure but either he's leveled off a lil bit or me and my mother are becoming immune to it heh but whatever. Progress is progress.

Since I am still helping keep their home a float as well as all my own bills n stuff I've actually been considering looking at buying a house for the 3 of us to live in... Now I'm very torn on this. First it would be a house with a finished basement apt. My mother is all for paying rent to a house I bought instead of a strangers and would be more then happy to take the basement where she would still live with my bro since he can't/won't/unable to work. Main problem for me obviously is that it feels like a step backwards, ya know living with family again though my mom promises it would be like 2 separate homes but ya know imma pessimist. I look at everything big picture though. I've helped my ma financially for many years. So much money I know I'll never see again and that's fine, I don't really care for money anyways and only ever buy myself what I need really. Besides I feel guilty spending money on myself when they struggle. A house where she could live much cheaper would change that. My mother and her 11 brothers and sisters were orphaned by age 12 and she grew up raising 2 kids on her own, no man no parents no money. She worked a lot and I pretty much raised myself. I just, I want her to be able to have the opportunity to do stuff or buy stuff before the end. I know of and have seen her struggle and it breaks my heart so since I was able to I do what I can to help. This thing with my brothers questionable mental health is just salt in the wound that is life. But I deal with it because there there really is no other option. I would never abandon my family to make my life easier. So yeah, I may buy a house for me, ma and my bro to live in. Heh It's not like I actually have a life to interfere with anyway.

Work has been an absolutely busy ass fucking nightmare since spring but surprisingly I'm totally cool with that. Keeping busy gives me less time to think and I think way to much. I can't help but play out scenario after scenario of "could be" things in my head all the time and most sadly aren't positive so I don't like thinking heh so I do what I can to always be distracted or busy.

Sculpting stuff has been a bit slower this year due to life stuff but it's picking back up again ^ ^ Currently I am just working on personal projects. I'll post a journal when I am ready to take on a commission again. I'm making great progress on the buff blacksmith Jafra and hes turning out super cool so that makes me happy. I see my last sculpture titled "poisoned Apple" didn't fair so well with peeps hehe I didn't expect it to being it was more art then furry or maybe it was the heart :P Whatever, I made it for myself anyway and I like it. It's a representation of how I've felt.

Love life.. lol right.

Feral is soon though ^ ^ something to look forward to. If your going lemme know. That is it for now I spose, now where is that rock I crawled out from *searches* laters

My brother is now out of the psych ward and is doing good or better at least. Also my mother and brothers move went okay enough without either me or my bro being able to help. My cousins chipped in to help thankfully.

Today was a better day. Spent it with ma n bro setting up their new place then watched movies. My family is still kinda screwed up but we'll make it work. We are nothing if not survivors.

I would like to thank those that have helped with kind words or thoughts while I've been dealing with stuff. I've always appreciated when someone takes time out for me in any manner. Usually I just try to bottle stuff up but it's been harder lately. Anyways that's it for now. Hopefully I can sleep tonight though since I'm currently under 10h sleep since Friday *drops n snores*

so yeah just a quick update for any that wish to know. So it's moving day for my mother. I'm just bout to head into work for a 12h shift. I got a quick call from her that was cut short do to a dying battery. Gist of it is that my brother is now in the hospital but being transferred to a different one, possibly for rehab or something. He smoked something accidentally laced with coke which I'm guessing didn't do anything good since he was already into some kind of mental break. That is all the info I could get from Ma. Quickly becoming numb to everything. Why does everyday have to be a new thing to deal with? *curls up* I'm tired

This is all just about my own family drama and stress so please feel free to ignore. I just need to get it out is all.

So I guess a here is a quick family update. My brother is apparently ditching out on my mother 2 days before their move (he set up the move truck help etc. with his friends as well) He is leaving to go to Ottawa to talk to the govt or fight the system or whatever ... with no money. So he is planning to walk the 450+ km there and he can be extremely stubborn. I pointed out the next week forecast is -10 to -20 each day for at least the next week. He said he didn't care and hes doing it. awesome. I asked if he's doing this after the move this friday to which he said no. right now. awesome. So I hung up on him. I love my brother I do but I can't deal with that level of self righteousness at the cost of my mothers well being. He's going to have to take care of himself this time. *sniffs* I can't save everyone all the time I guess. He's 26 and potentially unstable (possibly schizophrenic) but I have to have faith he can figure his shit out for at least the next week.

So now I wait trying to get a hold of my mother since I woke up to half a dozen of her panicked text and stuff. She moves on Friday to a place she cant afford alone I'm sure. With no helpers or truck I believe now since my bro arranged that with his friends. I work 36h between Fri-sun during the nights so I'm sadly out. Catch 22 is I can't even just miss the time because I'm fairly certain that I'm the one this will affect financially since there's no one else to help them out. But the move HAS to happen, mom has to be out of her current place and has already signed papers for new place. How this happens I've no fucking clue. Now lets not forget that during this my younger potentially mentally unstable brother will be walking the 450km to Ottawa in below zero weather with no money. I have no answers. I'm unsure what to do. Most likely I'll end up throwing away thousands of dollars over the next while keeping her afloat. I only say throwing away because I know she'll never really be able to pay me back. I know her finances and it would be a miracle if she managed to lets say. But it's my family and I am all they have so I do what I have to do as I've always done.

**edit** Managed to get a hold oh Ma and thankfully shes handling it all pretty good. We had a long conversation about everything. We both agree he's most likely not going to attempt the walk and that the best thing we can really do is continue with the move plan cause he will most likely be back soon and will need a home regardless of where he stands mentally. Were gunna go on faith that the move will happen over the weekend as it is set up and failing that I have Mon-tue off and I'll do a last min scramble then If that is what needs to be done *nods* Best I can come up with. If my bro comes back as we expect my mom just ask for me to visit more and help keep an eye on him n stuff to which I said of course. I'm still just realizing and trying to come to terms with the fact that if my brother is schizophrenic which we are pretty sure to some degree that this may be my life. This is going to be something I have to deal with till the end. My immediate family is just my mother who's getting up there and has had a rough life, me and my younger brother. She will do what she can for as long as she can but then it will be just us. I dunno if I'm strong enough. I worry I'm not. I have fleeting fantasies of moving across country but honestly how could I? I would feel like I was abandoning them. If this is the life I have so be it. Bring it on

I dunno what to do anymore. My family is falling apart around me and I'm at an absolute loss as to what I can do anymore. I can't deal with this shit anymore but I can't just turn my back either.

My mom and younger bro are spose to be moving at the end of the month and now my brother has left saying hes moving into a homeless shelter instead and my moms losing her mind cause she can't afford the place they picked out.

She's convinced my brother has the beginning of Schizophrenia which just may end being true since it sadly runs in my family. I've been living in a bit of denial with that because I don't want it to be true. I lived through that shit twice already with my aunt and then my cousin and it is a nightmare to live through. I was even begged and convinced by my mom and her sister to help commit my cousin who i grew up with to a mental institution *sniffs* so i did. I have horrible memories of him strapped to a table, missing teeth from fighting with orderlies begging for us to get him out. That was my teenage years. Watching my cousin go insane first hand. Now I prolly have to do this all again but with my younger brother. I'm not strong enough to go through this again specially so close to home *curls up* I've spent to many years trying to get over all this just to do it again. I can't do it again.

How do you tell someone you care about that their loosing their mind when they think their normal? Ive been telling myself he's just an idealist in some of his thinking but it is sadly way too familiar to a lot of stuff my cousin use to spout. I cannot do this again. My heart can't take it.

My brother is dealing with some work stuff at the moment to which have now let him know he needs to see a doctor before coming back. Not that they would take him back at this point. So he has no income at the moment and my mom has always struggled being a single parent raising two kids so she never really has money. But Now with 2 weeks before they move my brother has left saying he won't move in with her and he'll go to a homeless shelter instead and she can't really afford the place alone that they were going to move to. I'm doing what I can to hold everything together but it's to much. I'm drowning and I can't breathe. I'm not as strong as I once was but I'm the one they all come to to help fix and hold everything together. But what do I do? What can I do *sniffs*

I wish I could just leave and go hide somewhere and everything and everyone would be able to take care of themselves and fix their own problems but I'm a realist and I know that won't happen. I have my own problems though but I can never get to deal with my own because other shit is always more dire. I'm tired. I'm just tired.

If I ever just vanish, don't be surprised.


EDIT* In under an hour from typing this I found out a coworker of my brothers died last night at work. I'm very thankful he wasn't at work when it happened because i dunno how/if he would have been able to handle that. I still dunno if he can handle it but at least not being at the scene is better i guess. It's kinda funny, I'm saying how everything is just too much then wham life's like oh you thought THAT was to much...here. I hope he can handle this i really do cause if he can't i dunno if i'll be able to handle him. I'm afraid

Just wanted to thank those that replied to my last journal, it really meant a lot to me so thank you. I struggle with self worth sometimes so I am always appreciative when someone takes time out of there day for me, even if it's just a reply. *hugs*

I know I've never been the best friend to people since I am rarely around but I just want you guys to know that it's not because I don't want to see ya or that I don't care cause I do, It's me. It's always been me, but i'm working on it. Anyways thank you guys. *hugs*

Jaf

So I'm pretty sure I've been dealing with some form of social anxiety for awhile now so to my friends I am sorry. I do want to see you guys but it's just not as easy as it seems. I make plans but then I panic and cancel out as the date gets closer. I didn't use to be like this. I dunno whats wrong with me. Even now I'm in tears just thinking about the plans I had tonight. I've already cancelled them. I really didn't think I would this time. I feel like such a flake and I know people will eventually just stop asking me to do anything, I wouldn't be able to blame them either. It's my own fault.

I feel so very lost. I dunno what I'm doing anymore. I hide. From friends, from family. I just have a hard time facing people. I feel so un-important. I know my friends like me and I always try to put on a brave face for them but it's just getting harder n harder to act normal, like nothings up. No one needs to see an emotional wohofubuchip that can't keep his shit together. So I act like nothings wrong. Well I try to. The mask slips though.

I feel broken and tired. *sniffs* I am sorry for who I've become.

Once I've finished painting the two current pieces I'm working on I will be opening up to take on 3 commissions. Only The first spot will have to put any money down though. I'm not the type of artist that will take on a dozen commissions, make everyone pay up front then make everyone wait ages heh not my style ^ ^

So yeah I'll open up for 3 spots soon with spot one having to pay at least 50% up front and the rest before it's shipped out. Spots 2 n 3 won't have to pay anything till I'm ready to start then will be similar to how I explained spot one. So if ya do wish a spot but dun have coin quite yet feel free to ask for a later spot. I'm easy like that hehe.

Regular character commissions range between 6-7" tall and 1-2 lb and are roughly $120 +ship. heh though if your character is one of my faves I may give ya a deal ^ ^ Also all commissions are still receiving a free set of Fursuit Figurine sculptures for those that remember them heh I really should get a pic taken. The set of 4 sculptures are about 6" and are of Vincent, Frazzy, Kio and Dex if ya know them *wags* all awesome guys. These are left over from my attempt at a furry business :P

Hmm prolly in 2-3 weeks I think. Just want to clear my plate of current projects first. So yeah i hope to make one of your cool characters soon hehe or failing that I'll just make more sculptures of an adorable Wohofubuchip ^ ^ BLARK!!

Jafra the Wohofubuchip

*waves* Heya fluffs. So had a thought on how to save some cost for peeps commissioning me and just wanted some feedback really.

Okay so I live near Toronto, Canada which does have a fairly good sized furry community so I thought maybe to help reduce the cost I may try offering to deliver finished pieces to a local (to me) furry that my customer may be friends with and see soon since there's cons just bout every month now. Shipping my sculptures seems to range from $40-$55 but I cap it at 40 and eat the rest myself because I feel bad :P But if I dropped off the boxed finished sculpture to your friend who you may see at a con anyway in a few weeks or a month then they can hand it right to you. So no shipping cost ^ ^ and a gentler safer ride to you I'm sure :P

Anyway so yeah that's my idea. I'd do it myself but I don't get to too many cons now a days sadly. So yeah I'll prolly give it a try at least once or twice n see what happens, if the person wants of course. Hehe sorry works got cost savings drilled into me now it seems >.< lol

ta ta fluffbutts

Afternoon cuties *waves* so I think I'll be holding a raffle at Feral this year for those attending that wish to enter. I'm thinking bout having 3 prize spots with tickets being $2 each or 6 for $10.

First place will receive
1 x custom sculpture of your character ^ ^
1 x set of 4 "Fursuit Figurines"
1 x custom mini character slug

Second place
1 x set of 4 "Fursuit Figurines"
1 x custom mini character slug

Third place
1 x Single "fursuit Figurine" of your choice, Dex, Vincent, Frazzy and Kio available
1 x custom mini character slug

Winners of custom character prizes can pick them up at the following Feral or I can drop them off at someone local that ya may know.

If you wish to enter but aren't going to be attending just ask someone ya know going to pick up tickets for ya.

Ticket sale starts at the beginning of the dealer den and will be available till the last full day with winners being drawn n posted the afternoon of the last full day.

So if you've wanted a custom sculpture CHEAP come grab a ticket or two n try your luck. Sound cool?

Heya fluffs. So I've decided to clean up my gallery a bit. First I moved all the finished but unpainted carvings to my scraps. Second which I'm in the process of doing is I'm combining some pics. For example I'm taking what is now 6 different pendant pics and turning them into a new single pic. I'll then go back and delete the 6 original. So if ya see a combo pendant pic or a few actually soon it's older work sorry. I didn't like an entire page of just pendants in my gallery :p

Plus back then I hadn't learned how to combine pics yet. Yay adapting ^ ^

Heya fluffs *waves*

So for a bit of a change and in case anyone was curious since I'm sure there are a few out there or will be in time that want to learn or try their paw at sculpting, I've decided that my next piece will be a step by step of "my" process. Now please be warned I never went to art school or anything and these are just my own methods I use and have learned through trial and error. The step by will be various pics from different stages from the beginning of an idea to the final result ^ ^ should be useful for some since i found some stuff out the hard way maybe you can skip those errors *snickers*

Now I'm by no means a fantastic artist hehe and I've no problem being the first to say it by I enjoy what I do. I sculpt for myself first, I like when I can take an idea where I want to. Your idea my interpretation *wags* With that said the piece that will be my step-by-step will be Tibolf's second piece and I hope he's cool with that >.> *cough* What I'll be creating is his character as a carousel animal *wags* like at a fair. Should be a happy fun piece. First trick is will be to make sure it's different enough from the other Tib piece I just made. I want each piece to be unique not a copy.

Well that's my plan and I hope someone finds it interesting or useful. Who knows maybe someone will correct my method and I may learn something :P hehe it'll be a journey. On that note look for the first couple steps soon since I already got pics ^ ^ Let's call it "Step-By" Each pic will have an explanation of what I did and I can even answer questions if ya got em. Okie guess that's it. Later fluff butts ^ ^

*waves* hehe heya, yus a little random journal just cause. Just curious if there's any dj's following me with sets made? I like to put on pre-made sets as back ground music when I sculpt. I've about a half dozen sets I listen to reg but looking for more stuff. any new stuff be awesome. If ya know of anyone posting sets wanna let me know? It'll make me wag ^ ^ okthanksbye

*waves* heya guys. So decided I'm going do up some personalized slugs for those interested that will be heading to Feral that may want one. $20 for one if ya like. Can be paid for at feral when picked up. Reply here with a ref or note me if your interested. Also if you guys could mention it to others if ya know there going to Feral that would be awesome. Dunno how many I'll be able to get done but I'll do my best ^ ^

slug refrence pic http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10842864/

Heya guys. I just wanted to throw this out there and say sorry. I fully realize I've been pretty hard to get to hang out with in this last year or so. I've just needed time to myself to figure things out. Please don't take it personally thinking that it's just you I don't want to spend time with. That's not the case. I haven't really spent all that much time being social during this time with anyone. I do kind of worry that I'll just fade away from peoples minds but I'm just not ready yet to get back out there, not yet. I will be at Feral though on the bright side for any of ya going. *wags softly* I do miss ya all

Love Jafra

So I managed to hit a milestone with my last piece for Tibolf. 1000 favorites *wagwag* Thank you guys it means a lot ^ ^ It's a little bit harder for sculptors I think because from what I notice not a lot of us really do adult stuff much if at all. That really narrows down how many people actually see our work since shocker most of us are here for porn *snickers* But whatevs I create for myself really. I appreciate when I'm given creative freedom to interpret whats asked as I see fit. Let's me get creative *wags*

Any way, Thank you all for the faves cause they always make me wag ^ ^
yours truly
Jafra
the
Wohofubuchip

So this will be the last non smoking update I make untill I maybe hit my first year. So in the many years I smoked cigarettes off n on the longest I had managed to quit before was 6 months before falling off that wagon. Well just wanna say right now I'm sitting at about 7.5 months with out one *wags* so this IS the longest I have ever quit and because of that I'm a lil hopeful that just maybe this is the LAST time I'll have to quit *crosses toes* who knows. One thing I can tell ya for all ya young furs just starting smoking, just don't. Eventually you will want to quit believe me. It's just not as socially acceptable as it once was and no one likes to be the outcast. One reason you should just stop now though is that I can tell ya that even after almost 8 months EVERY day is fucking hard omfg >.< So many things trigger my desire to have a smoke. People I know who have quit longer say it goes away but fuck me it just doesn't feel like it >.< either way I keep at it, remind myself of the reasons I want this. *nods*