IT'S MY 7TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

*Confetti pops!!!*

Man, 7 years, people! Can you believe it?! And it all started from one little bunny, and it's brought me nothing but joy. So I ask y'all... WHY THE HELL AM I STILL DOING THIS?!

Because after over 3,000 pictures and being watched by over 2,200 people, why should I stop now? I've made tons of friends over the years, and you guys make me persevere. Cuz of you guys, I' think I've become a better artist cuz of it, and have made tons of groovy ideas.

Yeah, for those expecting Coms, you WILL get them. Some today. I've been busy with other stuff, a friend of mine with her husband is planning to move away to Alaska, and been working on writing stuff outside FA.

And what a shock, change C.P. AGAIN! But this time for a good reason. Yeah, her being that big a hybrid is too much. So, I decided to make her a Goodra again, this time a tall, buxom-y, hermy Goodra. Still keeping with the pink and strawberry motif, I decided to change her name to Strawberry Creme, or S.C.

Expect art of her SOON.

Thanks for your time ^^

Good day!

Been a while since I did this, and I hope I can cover all the movies before Civil War.

Well, I finally detoxed Batman vs. Superman outta my system. My God that was NOT a good start to an Easter weekend when religious crap gets hammered in your face in superhero escapism! Maybe it was a good idea to hold off on these for as long as I did, since now I’m talking about am actual good, genuine comic book movie.

I’ve said many a-times that I love all the MCU films, sans Iron-Man 3, all on an equal level. I really can’t choose one over another; they all bring their own charm that makes me love them so much. But if I absolutely had to, I’m pretty confident in saying that ‘Marvel’s The Avengers’ is probably the best CBM of our generation. Yeah, I said it. What’chu gonna do ‘bout it, Dark Knight?

This is gonna be the norm now, I’ll be saying the pros, sons and the What Should Have Happened (WSHH), and remember, this is all my humble opinions, and I’m doing this for kicks and unfortunately non-profits.

Pro: The way they set up the 1st third getting the gang together from Banner to Cap to Tony to Thor.

Pro: Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner. I said this in my ‘Incredible Hulk’ review, I didn’t mind Ed Norton in the movie, but more as Hulk. Norton just didn’t have that Bruce Banner quality to him. That, and they didn’t want him back cuz apparently he was a control freak. Mark was Banner to me, and he also did the MoCap suit for Hulk, before both Hulk movies were just CGed.

Pro: Black Widow and Hawkeye. I’ve loved these two ever since their introductions in both ‘Iron-Man 2’ and ‘Thor’. They really got to shine here, in fact, everyone did. And it’s great to see their interactions with each other here. Now I know shippers are still plenty pissed, but I’ll get to that in my ‘Age of Ultron’ review.

Con: I wish they’d gotten Ruffalo to play Banner in the first place!

Pro: I saw Hulk and Widow's romance blossom in this after watching it over and over. It was subtle, but I definitely saw something. So no, their romance in Age of Ultron didn't' feel forced like so many people love to bitch about. I'll talk more about that another time.

Pro: Phil Coulson. He was, and still IS, the glue that held the team together. In fact Clark Gregg, who plays him, actually says this when he filmed his death scene. Man, when I first saw that, I was devastated. But when I heard he’s coming back to like for Agents of SHIELD, I was ecstatic. Coulson’s a fan-favorite, and this was once instance where it was a good thing to listen to the fans. Now Clark Gregg is a director himself, maybe he might get a chance to direct something of the MCU. Who knows.

Pro: Loki. Hooooooo boy, he’s just been one of my favorite villains ever, second to Megabyte of course. He’s just cunning, but there are layers to him that I hope we see more of in future instalments. Tom Hidelston… I wanna cast you in one of my stories, bro. Plus, in the comics, Loki was the Avengers first villain. After BVS, It’s pretty much confirms the Justice League won’t fight Starro… WB/DC stop shooting yourselves in the foot!

Pro: The character dynamics from them not trusting one another to being a team was well-handled and it felt genuine.

Pro: Harry Dean Staton. Much as I love the ‘Puny God’ line as much as the next guy, his lines of: “Are you an alien,” and “Well, son… you’ve got a condition”, is just golden to me. ^^
I didn’t mind Banner’s secret of keeping calm of “I’m always angry.” It’s not a con or a WSHH, I dunno, it’s just kinda weird to me. But not bad.

Pro: Glad we got to see Thanos at the end. When people saw it, they thought he was Helboy. XD

Pro: The battle in New York. OK, this argument keeps on coming up. The difference between this and Man of Steel’s city destruction was; the Avengers were trying to contain the aliens, trying to keep the collateral damage to a minimum and keep them back into one spot while they tried to close that damn portal. And they were saving people whilst doing it, cuz they’re, you know…. SUPERHEROES!! “But it makes their situations far more serious when superheroes can’t save everybody” is the typical, moronic argument some dumbass fanboys love to spit out. That argument’s stupid and invalid! So a movie’s gonna bend over to show hundreds of people dying for the sake of being serious?! You got an alien invasion swarming down and blowing crap up, people. That’s pretty serious enough. Man of Steel did not handle this good at all, I’m sorry. And yeah, we see the Avengers kill the Chitauri, well yeah, most of them are soldiers, and I’m pretty sure they’re not going to be able to reason with a hostile force. So, yeah, I don’t mind killing as long as its justified.

Pro: Towards the end of the movie in that little montage of people loving/hating the Avengers, they showed a memorial to the victims. So I ask you, which movie was more mature? Here’s a hint; it wasn’t the movie that had the line “I think he’s kinda hot.”

This is a WSHH for Man of Steel that I wanted to say but decided to hold off on it. There shoulda been just one of those World Engines, and it shoulda been over Metropolis. Superman would be able to stop that and help all the people. And this isn’t me thinking hard about this, guys, THIS IS WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED IN MAN OF STEEL.

Trivia: For any one currently watching Agents of SHIELD, keep in mind for the bad guy, Gideon Malick, for he’s one of the World Council members Nick Fury keeps chatting to ^^

Pro: Before seeing this, I was worried that Hulk was steal the show like in one of the animated Ultimate Avengers movies. If Norton stayed, I’m sure he woulda pushed that. But nah, every single character hit a home run in this movie. All the Avengers worked as a cohesive team, no one felt left out or neglected. I’ve yet to see this happen with any X-Men film.

The reason why this movie worked so well, and why so many casual moviegoers, fans AND critics give it so much praise including me, was because of the individual movies that lead up to it. Nothing felt crammed in, the characters were likeable in their own movies, and they’re just as in this movie.

If WB/DC actually took notes and held back a bit instead of just pumping something out in their petty competition with Marvel then Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice would’ve been on the same level as this. But BvS was just an incoherent mess of a film with no likeable characters, leaving us more questions than answers, and it was all just depressing to look at. So guys, this is my humble opinion, I believe ‘Marvel’s The Avengers’ will stand the tests of time past 10 years.

Like the all the MCU films sans Iron-Man 3, I can watch ANY of those movies on any given day, on any given hour. In fact I want to right now ^^ These movies were made for the intention for both adults and children could watch, and boy they’ve done it in spades, and I believe they will keep doing that for decades to come.

Idiots love to troll that these movies are strictly for kids cuz they crack jokes and Marvel’s backed by Disney. Another dumbass, invalid argument. The characters are relatable and sympathetic. You MUST have levity in dark situations. It makes situations feel more intense, and makes us wanna root for the characters. Just because something’s ‘dark and gritty’ does not make ANYTHING good automatically. I can’t stress this enough. What good is having a dark, dangerous situation, if the characters are unlikable to begin with? And that is something is WISH DC/WB gets through their heads to attempt to do, because boy after BvS, I have serious doubts of even wanting to watch anything that involves the characterizations of the ‘world’s greatest detective’ that was this paranoid moron calling himself Batman, or the brooding, mopey, hypocritical stump that was Superman.

Well, that’s how I feel for Avengers. Whether you personally like it or didn’t like it, that’s fine. Next time however I WON’T be reviewing Iron-Man 3, the start of ‘Phase 2.’ I’ve pretty much dissected that movie. It was just a bad movie from start to finish, and I can’t think of one truly positive thing I can give it. Because for every scene that could’ve/should’ve been good, something utter dumb happens that cancels it out. I won’t review Agents of SHIELD till I see it in its entirety. So, next time will be Thor 2.

Till next time, live the dream and draw it.

Thanks for your time.

Oh, before I go. Like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with their pizza, you better believe Shawarma sales went up after this movie! XDDDDD

Still looking for roommates, since connections REFUSE to call me back.

More info, it's at another location. It's $155 a night, so I'm hoping to squeeze in 3 to 4 people in there, guys.

Anyone going, please comment below.

OK, I'm definitely going to Califur, but my long-time room-buddy  oinuttah seems to be missing in action.

So I need 2 to 3 other roommates to split the cost with me. If anyone is interested, I'll book the room IMMEDIATELY. Upon the 1st day, you guys can pay me for the compensation.

Lemme know, guys.

Good day!

Been a while since I did this, and I hope I can cover all the movies before Civil War.

Well, I finally detoxed Batman vs. Superman outta my system. My God that was NOT a good start to an Easter weekend when religious crap gets hammered in your face in superhero escapism! Maybe it was a good idea to hold off on these for as long as I did, since now I’m talking about am actual good, genuine comic book movie.

I’ve said many a-times that I love all the MCU films, sans Iron-Man 3, all on an equal level. I really can’t choose one over another; they all bring their own charm that makes me love them so much. But if I absolutely had to, I’m pretty confident in saying that ‘Marvel’s The Avengers’ is probably the best CBM of our generation. Yeah, I said it. What’chu gonna do ‘bout it, Dark Knight?

This is gonna be the norm now, I’ll be saying the pros, sons and the What Should Have Happened (WSHH), and remember, this is all my humble opinions, and I’m doing this for kicks and unfortunately non-profits.

Pro: The way they set up the 1st third getting the gang together from Banner to Cap to Tony to Thor.

Pro: Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner. I said this in my ‘Incredible Hulk’ review, I didn’t mind Ed Norton in the movie, but more as Hulk. Norton just didn’t have that Bruce Banner quality to him. That, and they didn’t want him back cuz apparently he was a control freak. Mark was Banner to me, and he also did the MoCap suit for Hulk, before both Hulk movies were just CGed.

Pro: Black Widow and Hawkeye. I’ve loved these two ever since their introductions in both ‘Iron-Man 2’ and ‘Thor’. They really got to shine here, in fact, everyone did. And it’s great to see their interactions with each other here. Now I know shippers are still plenty pissed, but I’ll get to that in my ‘Age of Ultron’ review.

Con: I wish they’d gotten Ruffalo to play Banner in the first place!

Pro: I saw Hulk and Widow's romance blossom in this after watching it over and over. It was subtle, but I definitely saw something. So no, their romance in Age of Ultron didn't' feel forced like so many people love to bitch about. I'll talk more about that another time.

Pro: Phil Coulson. He was, and still IS, the glue that held the team together. In fact Clark Gregg, who plays him, actually says this when he filmed his death scene. Man, when I first saw that, I was devastated. But when I heard he’s coming back to like for Agents of SHIELD, I was ecstatic. Coulson’s a fan-favorite, and this was once instance where it was a good thing to listen to the fans. Now Clark Gregg is a director himself, maybe he might get a chance to direct something of the MCU. Who knows.

Pro: Loki. Hooooooo boy, he’s just been one of my favorite villains ever, second to Megabyte of course. He’s just cunning, but there are layers to him that I hope we see more of in future instalments. Tom Hidelston… I wanna cast you in one of my stories, bro. Plus, in the comics, Loki was the Avengers first villain. After BVS, It’s pretty much confirms the Justice League won’t fight Starro… WB/DC stop shooting yourselves in the foot!

Pro: The character dynamics from them not trusting one another to being a team was well-handled and it felt genuine.

Pro: Harry Dean Staton. Much as I love the ‘Puny God’ line as much as the next guy, his lines of: “Are you an alien,” and “Well, son… you’ve got a condition”, is just golden to me. ^^
I didn’t mind Banner’s secret of keeping calm of “I’m always angry.” It’s not a con or a WSHH, I dunno, it’s just kinda weird to me. But not bad.

Pro: Glad we got to see Thanos at the end. When people saw it, they thought he was Helboy. XD

Pro: The battle in New York. OK, this argument keeps on coming up. The difference between this and Man of Steel’s city destruction was; the Avengers were trying to contain the aliens, trying to keep the collateral damage to a minimum and keep them back into one spot while they tried to close that damn portal. And they were saving people whilst doing it, cuz they’re, you know…. SUPERHEROES!! “But it makes their situations far more serious when superheroes can’t save everybody” is the typical, moronic argument some dumbass fanboys love to spit out. That argument’s stupid and invalid! So a movie’s gonna bend over to show hundreds of people dying for the sake of being serious?! You got an alien invasion swarming down and blowing crap up, people. That’s pretty serious enough. Man of Steel did not handle this good at all, I’m sorry. And yeah, we see the Avengers kill the Chitauri, well yeah, most of them are soldiers, and I’m pretty sure they’re not going to be able to reason with a hostile force. So, yeah, I don’t mind killing as long as its justified.

Pro: Towards the end of the movie in that little montage of people loving/hating the Avengers, they showed a memorial to the victims. So I ask you, which movie was more mature? Here’s a hint; it wasn’t the movie that had the line “I think he’s kinda hot.”

This is a WSHH for Man of Steel that I wanted to say but decided to hold off on it. There shoulda been just one of those World Engines, and it shoulda been over Metropolis. Superman would be able to stop that and help all the people. And this isn’t me thinking hard about this, guys, THIS IS WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED IN MAN OF STEEL.

Trivia: For any one currently watching Agents of SHIELD, keep in mind for the bad guy, Gideon Malick, for he’s one of the World Council members Nick Fury keeps chatting to ^^

Pro: Before seeing this, I was worried that Hulk was steal the show like in one of the animated Ultimate Avengers movies. If Norton stayed, I’m sure he woulda pushed that. But nah, every single character hit a home run in this movie. All the Avengers worked as a cohesive team, no one felt left out or neglected. I’ve yet to see this happen with any X-Men film.

The reason why this movie worked so well, and why so many casual moviegoers, fans AND critics give it so much praise including me, was because of the individual movies that lead up to it. Nothing felt crammed in, the characters were likeable in their own movies, and they’re just as in this movie.

If WB/DC actually took notes and held back a bit instead of just pumping something out in their petty competition with Marvel then Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice would’ve been on the same level as this. But BvS was just an incoherent mess of a film with no likeable characters, leaving us more questions than answers, and it was all just depressing to look at. So guys, this is my humble opinion, I believe ‘Marvel’s The Avengers’ will stand the tests of time past 10 years.

Like the all the MCU films sans Iron-Man 3, I can watch ANY of those movies on any given day, on any given hour. In fact I want to right now ^^ These movies were made for the intention for both adults and children could watch, and boy they’ve done it in spades, and I believe they will keep doing that for decades to come.

Idiots love to troll that these movies are strictly for kids cuz they crack jokes and Marvel’s backed by Disney. Another dumbass, invalid argument. The characters are relatable and sympathetic. You MUST have levity in dark situations. It makes situations feel more intense, and makes us wanna root for the characters. Just because something’s ‘dark and gritty’ does not make ANYTHING good automatically. I can’t stress this enough. What good is having a dark, dangerous situation, if the characters are unlikable to begin with? And that is something is WISH DC/WB gets through their heads to attempt to do, because boy after BvS, I have serious doubts of even wanting to watch anything that involves the characterizations of the ‘world’s greatest detective’ that was this paranoid moron calling himself Batman, or the brooding, mopey, hypocritical stump that was Superman.

Well, that’s how I feel for Avengers. Whether you personally like it or didn’t like it, that’s fine. Next time however I WON’T be reviewing Iron-Man 3, the start of ‘Phase 2.’ I’ve pretty much dissected that movie. It was just a bad movie from start to finish, and I can’t think of one truly positive thing I can give it. Because for every scene that could’ve/should’ve been good, something utter dumb happens that cancels it out. I won’t review Agents of SHIELD till I see it in its entirety. So, next time will be Thor 2.

Till next time, live the dream and draw it.

Thanks for your time.

Oh, before I go. Like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with their pizza, you better believe Shawarma sales went up after this movie! XDDDDD

Well.... I finally saw Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice.

DC/WB... you had THREE YEARS to get your act together... AND YOU GAVE US THIS?! THIS PILE OF UTTER CRAP!?!

My God, the plot and pacing were so all over the place, like 5 different stories are going on at once, still hate Superman, Lois Lane is just tacked on, nothing felt genuine or natural, this entire movies just shoves in crap to branch off into other movies. Things in this movie just go to a screeching halt.

BATMAN KILLS IN THIS MOVIE! And there's no scene where Alfred's appalled by it?! One of the smartest people of DC is ONCE AGAIN portrayed like an idiot.

Wonder Woman was NOT needed in this thing. In fact her movie shoulda came out before this. It's like prequels, you know the main hero's gonna be fine, so why even bother?

Like Man of Steel, I have no reason to root for or even care about Superman, even when he dies, spoiler alert.

I knew Essenburg was going to SUCK as Lex Luthor from the moment I heard he was cast. Good Lord, every time I heard him talk, I wanted to put a bullet in his brain.

Those dream sequences were so unnecessary. AND JESUS CHRIST, STOP ALIENATING ALL THE NON-CHRISTIAN FANS OF DC CHARACTERS WITH YOU KEEP SHOVING RELIGION IN OUR FACES!!!!!!!

Absolutely NOTHING in this movie made any semblance of sense. And the music, oh boy, that irritating Hans Zimmer 'BWOM BWOM' music! And there was just annoying other music in scenes that felt so out of place.

Guys... I think I hate this movie MORE THAN FANT4STIC. I did not think that was possible. I'm not exageratting hereThis was all just WB/DC's attempt to catch up with Marvel.

I cannot think of one true positive about this movie, not even the good fight scenes, because they're waged by characters that I found myself hating throughout this friggin' thing.

I really want to see a Justice League movie, and I thought this was going to be the jumping point to that. But now... I have no faith in DC/WB in their live action films anymore. In fact, now I'm contemplating on whether or not I want to see 'Suicide Squad', or even the new Wonder Woman movie. I'm sticking with Marvel films/cartoons and the DC TV series, cuz they have characters that are likable and we wanna root for. And guys, this Supergirl/Flash team-up coming this Monday... that's the closest we're ever getting to a Justice League. This movie set us back two steps in getting that.

Thanks for your time

I'm just gonna come right out and say it; Superman has not had ONE good movie. Yeah, even the first 2 Donner films. They really didn't age well. 3 was crap, 4 was an even bigger pile of crap. Returns was a flying fart box, and Man of Steel was such a disappointment, ranging in between disappointment to suck.

I can't sugar coat it. I like the character, but he has not had a good movie just like Fantastic Four.

So, me and my buddies are gonna see Batman vs. Superman tomorrow, and oh boy, I'm not hearing good things about it already.

The kid gloves are off, my friends.

First of all, lemme tell y'all that I'm clear with my bank.

Thank you guys so much for helping me this past week and a half. Now I know how Joel felt in 'Risky Business', trying to pay for his father's car repairs. But hey, it's a wish fulfillment, but we can't all be as rich as BATMAN.

Which is what I'm here to talk about today, since we're pretty much knocking on the door to watch 'Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice'

Now as y'all might be aware, I am a Batman fan, I just wish DC would stop making their other heroes look bad just to make Batman look good. Lookin' at you Frank 'Asswipe' Miller!

Yes, I've loved Batman ever since I watched the Animated Series, and seeing him in Justice League. But how do I feel about his movies?

As much as people rave on the Tim Burton Batman movies.... I don't, because Batman always felt like a second banana in those movies, and Burton himself even said he cared more about the villains than him. Shoulda just called the first movie 'Joker', since it was more about him. Reason why I don't mind 'Batman Forever' as much cuz at least it showed off his detective skills, plus I'm a huge Tommy Lee Jones/Two-Face fan. Don't me started on 'Batman and Robin'

Now the Nolan films... THEY ARE SO OVERRATED IT IS HILARIOUS! Yeah, I said it. The only one I like is 'Batman Begins'. No, I don't care much for Christopher 'I-must-make-everything as realistic as possible' Nolan for his pretentiousness, but I have even LESS respect for the co-writer David S. Goyer. Trust me I'll explain later. Gotham City in the Tim Burton movies and even the Animates Series was always a character in it of itself. Now I didn't mind it in Batman Begins, but the other films, It's Chicago. There's no to sugarcoat it, it is Chicago.

Reason why I've loved Batman to begin with was cuz he was basically the Sherlock Holmes of DC, in fact that what it stands for 'Detective Comics'. And you know me, I love mysteries. Nolan and Goyer just did away with all that, and him a moron that always relied on Lucias Fox and others. Wayne is a lot smarter than this, Goyer and Nolan. And if you wanted to make everything with realism and be less comic book-y, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T ADAPT A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER!!! Realistic is not the word to idly toss around when you're talking about a dude that dresses up like a bat and fights criminals.

Though Bruce being scared of bats and taking up that motif was a good touch for Batman Begins, I like that.

If they actually did tie in the Nolan-Batman in with this universe they're making with Justice League movie, there is no way in hell Batman would be able to stand on his own with the likes of Superman, Wonder Woman, etc. He would be a liability, not help. The transition into the Justice League with this would be so off. Point for Avengers for connecting all films to it. And for being able to have characters who are extremely human and no powers, but being able to stand with the likes of the God of Thunder or the Giant Green Rage Monster. THEY MUST DO THIS FOR BATMAN!

These Nolan movies wouldn't be so derided to me, at least TDK and DKR, which Nolan made his own original superhero character. Because there are so many holes and inconsistencies, I just can't enjoy either of them. Especially with Joker. That's the only reason why Dark Knight got any real praise was cuz of Heath Ledger's Joker, God rest him. And I found Heath's Joker to be just annoying later on. Jack Nicholson totally captured that combo of silly and sick nature that Joker had in the comics, and much praise to Mark Hamil in voicing him. You cannot dress a guy as a clown and not be silly. "Oh, but it wouldn't be realistic." Don't even get me started on how they messed up Two-Face. "Oh, but that wouldn't be realistic" Hell, they shoulda had Riddler for the second one, at least it would've showed off Batman's detective skills. "Oh, but him being a superhero and a detective wouldn't be realistic" SCREW YOU!!! And Batman quitting for 8 years... no.... just no. BATMAN NEVER QUITS!

So, I don't hate Batman, quite the opposite. I just hate writers who take liberties with him to give the readers that dumbass, age-old copout of an excuse saying, "He's Batman." No, just no.

But man, I wish they update his mask for once. Yes, the look's inspired off of Zorro, but there IS such a thing as practicality over iconography. Have him have a full mask, ciz I sweat I can recognize him based on his chin alone. And the mask would have a voice modulator, cuz doing that Batman voice must not be good for the throat. Oi.

So those are my thoughts on Batman. Feel free to leave your comments, and sorry if I offend any fans of Nolan or 'The Dark Knight'

Thanks for your time.

All I needs is $26.00 and I'm outta this mess.

One color com with 3 characters. That's all I need.

Welcome to Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (ROTS)

“It’s the best of the prequels. It’s as good as Empire Strikes Back.” I’ve heard left and right. No… just… no. You really don’t know any better. 3 years later, 2005, Lucas still didn’t learn his lesson, but like before I was entranced by the trailers. I think we all went cuz we all HAD to know how it ended.
Before I start, lemme make it clear I WON’T review the Clone Wars pilot movie or its series. I hated the movie and only saw 8 episodes of the 1st season and stopped. I keep hearing it gets good later on, but I am NOT interested in watching it ever.

Even if I did want to, it would still involve characters I hardly know, flat-out don’t care about, or absolutely hate fighting a war that’s being waged over nothing.

Con: What did the Separatists want to make this giant Droid Army, where they going to attack the Republic. People equate this Clone War to the Civil War, but it’s so not true. This war seems to be over nothing.
Pro: General Grievous was cool, but even though he makes stupid mistakes throughout.

Con: The tone of this film goes from slapstick comedy to dark and grim then back to comedy all in this first act of the two Jedi trying to rescue ol’ Palpy. Hell the entire plan Palpy had to get himself captured and taken away is so convoluted I can’t even explain it here.

Con: “Sith Lords are out specialty.” Really, Obi-wan? To be fair, this movie came out 3 years before the Clone Wars series, so whatever

Con: In fact, who or what are the Sith?! The subtitle of this is their revenge. What do they want revenge for? This film doesn’t take 5 minutes to give us any proper explanations at all. Say they’re fallen Jedi. But no, Lucas expected us to know or even care.

Con: Anakin kills Dooku per Palpy’s command. He says they must leave when there’s no real hurry, telling him to abandon an injured Obi-wan before ‘it’s too late’. But no, out ‘heroes’ cannot put two brain cells together to think that Palpy’s being suspicious.

Con: So it’s been 3 years since the last and apparently this war has been fought all over, and mainly on Courisant, yet it doesn’t even look phased by it. No war-torn damage to the city, traffic is still in the air. It’s like the ‘war’ was just a big inconvenience.

Con: The Jedi are in command of the Clones, but they seem so disorganized.

Con: Anakin finds out Padme’s preggers, and it leads up to one of the most infamous likes in the prequels. “I’m so in love with you.” “So love has blinded you” *facepalm* What seriously did Anakin do to Padme to make him fall in love with her. He straight up killed, he’s open for a dictatorship, bitches everyone out. Padme, you are the reason why Palpy’s chancellor, you’re the reason why almost all the Jedi are dead, and you’re the reason why Anakin became Vader, directly and indirectly. Then comes the premonition of her death and she treats it like nothing.

Con: Yoda can’t tell there’s something wrong with Anakin when he tells him about the premonition. In fact Yoda looks confused about everything throughout these prequels. Hell, I can tell there’s something wrong with him JUST BY LOOKING. You don’t gotta be a psychic or a friggin’ psychologist to see something’s up.

Con: Anakin is put to spy on ol’ Palpy. Why? You’re continuously weary of Anakin, why do that? ‘Oh, but he’s the chosen one’ in the prophecy.” “A prophecy that could’ve been misread.” Ho wrote that damn prophecy, what does bringing balance to the force mean. I said this before and I’ll say it again, that prophecy-crap is utterly useless and pointless. No movie should have prophecy crap, unless you do it like the Lego movie.

Con: My God, Anakin, you are a dumdum!!!! Several times Palpy’s mentioned the dark side and the Sith, and you can’t figure out that JUST MAYBE Palpy’s a Sith Lord? It isn’t until finally, Palpy straight tells him he was. And when Anakin tells the other Jedi, they walk at a steady pace.

Con: The many ways Palpy coulda been taken down were so numerous, it’s hilarious. Take blood samples, confront him where there’s a lot of witnesses, or my favorite, CHECK OUT THE FRIGGIN’ SECURTIY FOOTAGE! There’s trying to work in ways to make things fit in a prequel where its component, and then there’s just going through things by the seat of your pants, pulling crap outta your ass!

Pro: People have speculations that Palpy’s old master, Darth Plagus, might be Snoke from the Force Awakens. We’ll have to see.

Pro: The Clones continue to be awesome.

Con: Obi-wan’s still a moron. He gets a dragon-like mount that makes SO MUCH NOISE. And when he confronts Grievous, he just lands and says ‘Hello there’. SERIOUSLY, DUDE!?! You can’t drop down and friggin’ slice him ninja-style?! When he finally kills him with a blaster to the heart, he says ‘uncivilized’. Hey, asshole, cutting people into pieces is uncivilized.

Con: Palpy’s entire plan since TPM has made zero sense. Why couldn’t you have sprung that whole trap before? And what would’ve happened if things didn’t go as how you ‘foreseen’? When was he gonna spring this trap? Do his ‘clouding’ abilities have a range? The Jedi are continuously confused by all this, which makes them even more unlikably stupid. Then he frames the Jedi for taking over the Republic. Seriously, what motivation would the Jedi have to do this, now that the war’s over? I would say the inmates are running the asylum when it comes to the utter stupidity of the Republic and the Senate, but I’d like to think of it as Palpy RETURNING sanity to the Republic, oh excuse me, his new Galactic Empire. Either Palpy’s controlling them all or the Senate’s THAT stupid, taking what he’s saying.

Pro: The only character I’ve liked besides Palpy is Bail Organa, Leia’s future adopted father. He seems to actually do something. In fact, there’s a deleted scene where he and a bunch of others are talking about forming the Rebel Alliance. My God, Lucas, this, and the other prequels wouldn’t be so derided if you just added this damn scene!

Pro: One scene where Anakin finally goes to confront Palpy with the other Jedi, we see his anger. That was good.

Pro: The scene where Anakin talks with Obi-wan before they go off on their separate missions was pretty good, though I still don’t see how they could’ve ever been friends.

Con: I actually really felt bad for the Separatists. I’m serious. THEY didn’t even start the war. If they had just left well enough alone, they wouldn’t have been mercilessly slaughtered by Anakin.

Con: Speaking of Anakin, he kills more children and a whole bunch of Jedi… but that shouldn’t be a surprise.

Before I move on, these prequels keep telling us ‘the will of the force’. The same will that let an arrogant, bratty douche join the Order, then later on destroy it, ushering in an era of domination of an evil force, and his wife dying via childbirth. These prequels not only paint the Jedi being asshats, but the force being a jackass that just loved messing with people. This is why I don’t care about religion, saying it’s the will of God for things to happen. For something good to happen a whole bunch of people must die? No, screw that! I don’t mind deities, just the religions they’re based on. But let’s not get into religious debates.

Con: Obi-wan and Yoda shoulda just teamed up instead of splitting off, cuz Yoda fights Palpy where there’s no witnesses.

Con: Uuuugh, that scene with Padme and Anakin… She realizes how evil he is, saying he was a good person. *Spits laughing* Yeah, right! Yeah, he was such a good person. Then saying she can’t believe what she was hearing from him. You didn’t bat an eye when he told you he killed or that he wanted a dictatorship. Then there’s her saying he changed. Are you serious, lady?! He never changed one bit. He was ALWAYS an asshole. Then my favorite line from her, “You’re going down a path I can’t follow.” He already went down that path when he killed the Sand People, Padme, and you DID follow him by marrying him.

Con: Once he sees Obi-wan, he thinks she and him are there to kill him, then force-chokes her out.

Con: Yoda pretty much gave up and goes to exile.

Con: They have that fight, but it goes on for so long it’s so boring, ending up in him getting the rest of his limbs hacked off, then left him to burn. Why not put him out of his misery?

Pro: Obi-wan takes Anakin’s lightsaber, which DID fit in with the next one… the lightsaber that hacked so many people, including children.

Con: Padme’s dying and is about to give birth to TWINS…. She’s dying cuz she lost the will to live. Really? REALLY, PADME?! You’re having twins… and you don’t think it’s worth living for them?! I know I shouldn’t be saying this, but I’m actually happy she died. That whole thing with you giving up living is what really made me hate her. Why not just say Anakin’s force-choke did far more damage than they thought, like it crushed ga lung. Anything other than… THIS!!!

Con: So Padme gives birth and dies. But the funny thing is that R2 is there to witness along with Yoda, bringing up another hole when Luke and R2 come to Dagobah, surprise they didn’t go ‘hey, I know you!’

Pro: Seeing Anakin get put into the suit was pretty cool.

Con: The twins are split up, Anakin will look after the boy, Luke, and Yoda tells him about Ghost Gui-Gon… yeah, just throw that in there for no reason.

Con: C3PO’s memories are to be wiped… but not R2’s? *Sighs* OK
Pro/Con: Padme’s funeral scene is the ONLY time we see Jar Jar. And we see Padme’s family, and if you didn’t see the deleted scenes where we see them, you’re wondering who the hell are these people. Yeah, Luke and Leia got aunts and uncles on other planets, and this is the last we ever see of them.
Pro: Vader and Palpy looking on the first Death Star construction was pretty cool.

Con: They mimic Luke’s scene looking on the twin suns when Obi-wan hands baby Luke to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru… seriously!

These prequel movies SUCK! I cannot find ONE true positive to say about them. I really can’t.

These movies are the very definition why I hate prequels except for Tremors 4. These stories are horribly written, badly acted, utterly laughable piles of cinematic Bantha Poodoo! They contradict and convolute the Originals and in when certain scenes happen with so many inconsistencies and nonsensical crap. It’s just nuts, and Lucas should be ashamed for not giving a crap and looking back on the originals. I feel so sorry for his kids, hell I feel sorry for Jake Lloyd that played kid Anakin.

Why my dad loves these prequels, or why anyone else defends them to such a degree is mindboggling to me. “Oh cuz they’re original unlike The Force Awakenes.” If you honestly think that, I have zero hope for you.
The absolute reason why I, or anyone else, LOVES the originals to begin with, was because it was a scifi fantasy tale about good and evil AND NOT POLITICS. We get to know the characters, see them grow, and we root for them till the very end. These characters are still so memorable to pop culture cuz of their friendships with each other, and likeable attitudes. I didn’t like ONE SINGLE PERSON in these prequels other than Palpy and Organa. The Force Awakens reinvigorated why I fell in love with Star Wars when I was 7 years old. I absolutely LOVE the new characters in that movie, and I CANNOT wait to see what they go through.

Rey, Finn, Poe, and BB-8… don’t let ANYONE, not even these, so-called ‘true Star Wars fans’, tell you guys you’re copycats of Jar Jar Binks, stereotypes, Mary Sues, caricatures, or what have you. THAT IS ALL A BUNCH OF SHIT, AND I AM GOING TO EXPLAIN WHY WHEN I REVIEW THAT MOVIE!!!! You guys rock, and I wanna get your Lego Minifigures so bad.
Y’know I actually wanted to be a Jedi when I was little. Become a cop in the afterlife with a partner with a mustache so thick you can’t understand him, become a reaper-samurai following orders of a bunch of jackasses whose word is so lawfully stupid it’s no wonder why enemies keep springing up, or become a knight-monk whose not allowed to show any emotion in a healthy way. Y’know what? To hell with all of that.

*Puts on his metal combat suit* I’m Space Sherriff Chaser, and I’m putting these prequels out of their misery!

*Cocks his gun* X-Crasher! *He shoots and obliterates all 3 prequel films.

Stay tuned this week when I give my thoughts to both Batman and Superman.

Thanks for your time.

Welcome to my review of Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones (AOTC)

I’ve mentioned before I liked the prequels as a kid but I didn’t know any better, but I always had a feeling in the back on my mind that something was REEEEEEEEEEALY off about them, but couldn’t explain why, all I knew was I was more excited to watch the original trilogy more than watching all 6 on DVD in annual marathons we had back in the day.

And had that same feeling again after watching AOTC. I was 15 when it came out, my Mom picked me up from school and we both went to go see it. And lemme tell ya something, I was SUPER excited to see this on opening day. From watching the trailers, it had promising things; first Stormtroopers, someone who looks like Boba Fett, and more Anakin Skywalker.

And I think I speak for everybody, we all KNEW it was gonna be better than TPM when we all first saw it, right? *Sighs* NOPE! In fact, it was EVEN WORSE than TPM! AOTC to me, is not only the worst of the prequel trilogy, but just the worst Star Wars movie, period. Along with Episode 3, there are just so many factors that really make this thing a colossal failure. Like with TPM, I’m gonna list the pros, cons and the ‘What Should Have Happened’ (WSHH). And expect some yelling in this review.

Con: Several systems are leaving the Republic, and rallying with Count Dooku apparently, calling themselves the ‘Separatists’. With the way we saw how the Republic functioned back in TPM, I can’t blame them leaving. They talk like it could come to war. A war over what? The Separatists are just trying to leave. What a war is gonna brew for them trying to be an independent nation? This isn’t like the American Revolution and the Declaration of Independence, the Separatists aren’t confined to any land or a continent. The galaxy’s pretty vast, why not just go far far away (hee hee hee ^^) to another planet. It’s just how it’s set up here at the beginning, but it gets nuttier.

Con: 10 years have passed since TPM, and our characters act like nothing happened during that Naboo fiasco. More Jedi had come with Obi-Wan and Gui-Gon, they woulda caught Maul and got more info. Everyone’s said this, but hell, the entire prequel trilogy coulda started here at AOTC, TPM was apparently THAT forgettable.

Con: Anakin’s been training with Obi-Wan as his apprentice, and right away we see that he’s just an asshole. I’ll get to that later, along with the dynamic between him and Obi-Wan.

Con: An assassination attempt happened with Padme, now a senator, and afterwards she goes into a building… that has windows. A place where any assassin can see you. Speaking of seeing, Padme’s new captain has an eye patch. NOBODY WITH NO DEPTH PERCEPTION SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO GUARD ANYBODY. Anakin and Obi-Wan are assigned to protect Padme.

Con: We learn that Anakin is having nightmares of his mother dying. Yeah, I kept waiting for an explanation why the Jedi didn’t save Anakin’s mom after the events of TPM, or better FREE THE “SLAVES” ON TATTOOINE! Why didn’t the Jedi help anyone there? What were they afraid of, a war with Jabba the Hutt?! He’s a gangster not a warlord. And what else were the Jedi worried about, Anakin’s attachment to his mother if they did free her?! Uuuuughhh~ I’ll talk about the Jedi at the end.

Pro: Jango Fett. That’s the second time in these prequels where I like the bad guys more than out “heroes”.

Con: Jango hiring an assassin instead of doing the job himself. Why did he hire this disposable baddie? That assassin, Zam, is the one who tried to kill Padme, on the decoy died.

Con: Using a droid to cut a hole through the window of a room where Padme’s sleeping, and set out poisonous centipede-like things to kill her, instead of…. y’know… SHOOT HER! Again, in a room with a window where an assassin can see her. Nice protecting, ‘Jedi’. In fact, Zam, why the heck didn’t you just use that damn gun of yours?! You caused that ship in the beginning to blow up real good. The point was, Anakin was using her as bait to draw Zam out, but she turns off the security cams for privacy. IS PRIVACY MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR LIFE, LADY?!?! Hell, even R2 was utterly useless, didn’t detect anything by the window!

Pro: Zam’s airspeeder is pretty sweet ^^

Con: That chase throughout Courisant. Yeah, after saving Padme chopping up the centipede-thingies, we see Obi-wan jumping out the window and ride on that droid that sent out those things.

WSHH: It shoulda been the reversal, where Anakin jumped out and rode that droid, and Obi-wan followed in the car, instead of what was shown in the film. It fits in with Anakin’s personality, since in the film he jumps out the car, falling on top of that assassin’s car. (Guess he trusted the force on where the precise trajectory of that car was, I don’t know. Or even know that it WAS the right car)

Con: The chase ends at a random bar. They say that Zam’s a changeling. (Boy, what would give for Queen Chrysalis right now!) They go in, and Zam didn’t even use the opportunity to get the hell away, instead of sticking around and trying to shoot the Jedi in the back. That got her hand cut off.
Before I go on, morons STILL bitch that Force Awakens is nothing but a rehash of New Hope, defending the prequels as being ‘original’, and saying: “Lucas would NEVER repeat himself in his movies.” LOOK AT THAT BAR SCENE, LOOK AT THE ASTEROID FIGHT LATER ON, THEN LOOK AT SIMILAR SCENES FROM NEW HOPE AND EMPIRE, THEN COME BACK TO ME WITH SOMETHING INTELLEGENT, PLEASE.

Con: So yeah, Zam gets killed when Jango gets her with a toxic dart and flies off with his rocket pack. Uuuuuh, guuuuuuyys… why don’t you chase him?! A rocket won’t get him that much distance. Go after him with that car! Or, Jango, ya coulda killed Padme while the Jedi were chasing Zam! The ol’ bait and switch! God! Every friggin’ character is a moron!

By the way, a bounty hunter and an assassin are to different things!

Con: So Padme is gonna return to Naboo, Anakin is given the task to ‘protect’ her. Jedi, you’ve been weary of Anakin ever since you saw him, why did you give him this assignment? This all leads to the one of the the most forced romances in cinema history. I’ll explain more later about that. And this all lead to the infamous ‘I don’t like sand’ line.

Con: How the hell come no other assassin followed Padme home and tried to kill her there?!

Con: Obi-Wan’s trying to figure out where that dart came from, that just leads him to meandering around even AFTER he got the location of where the dart came from. From Kamino! I repeat, they learn that the location of Kamino was deleted from the archive memory after Obi-Wan got the coordinates to the place.

Obi-Wan does see Kamino, and learn that a Clone Army is being made for the Republic, that was completely unknown to them. The order was placed 10 years ago by a fallen Jedi, and that Jango was the original host for them all. One clone is the young Boba Fett. Uuuuuuuugh! So yeah, this is all part of Palpatine’s great plan for domination, we all know that. Guess he knew all that was gonna happen since he also apparently saw Anakin falling in love with Padme, and all the crap that happens in the next movie. Yep, you planed everything, Palpy.

So after another nightmare, Anakin and Padme go to Tattooine, find out the mother was freed and married a moisture farmer to try and set up Uncle Own and Aunt Beru for ANH. Like I said in TPM review, Padme shoulda been from that farm and be a sister to Owen. It just makes more sense.

WSHH: Anakin…. Why the hell didn’t you what you promised your mother you would do YEARS AGO!?! Anakin, nor any Jedi, went to go help the poor people suffering, apparently, on Tattooine. These Jedi are utterly USELESS!!!

Obi-wan’s ‘investigation’ leads to a fight with Jango, and them in a dogfight in that asteroid field. But it’s just so uninteresting. And blah blah blah, Anakin finds his mother, she dies, and he goes nuts killing sand people left and right, and not just the men, but women, and the children too.

Now yes, the sand people took his mom were bad. I firmly believe killing a murderer is NOT the way to go to exact justice, no matter how savage the sand people are. And I don’t care how primitive they are, GENOCIDE IS GENOCIDE! Now, I could be hypocritical in this, since I watch Sentai and Rider shows where they do kill the baddies, but those are entirely different circumstances, and it’s protecting the world. And I’m fine with that, sometimes an enemy goes too far and there’s no redemption. But this ain’t a philosophical journal, and I ain’t a philosopher. We’re talking about a whiny, petulant, arrogant asshole, whom we’ve hated since he showed up in the film exacting revenge out on people that did absolutely nothing wrong. That same thing is why I hate Sasuke, he wanted to take out his revenge on an entire village that did absolutely nothing to him.

So anyway, Obi-wan’s chase leads to Geonosis where the Separatists are making a Droid army, to apparently make demands with the Republic.
Con: Separatists… you couldn’t leave well enough alone? And what demands did you have? There is no answer! Again, y’all coulda gone out far in the galaxy away from the Republic.

Con: Obi-wan’s message gets out and Padme, this time, takes Anakin to help him. Then there’s that robot assembly factory scene…. God it was like a video game. In fact, a Lego spoof made fun of that entire scene, as well as the entire prequel trilogy. Guess Disney knew what crap the prequels were.

Con: Oh yeah, C3PO went with them… for no reason other than fan service. Yeah, he was working on the Lars’ farm, with new coverings when Anakin and Padme came, and knew who he was. Yesh, 3PO was working, then leaves, from the exact same damn farm where Luke will be taken there to be raised, where R2 and 3PO will be sold to Uncle Owen by the Jawas a couple decades later. The. Exact. Same. FARM! New gold coverings, yeah, but c’mon Owen, you couldn’t tell who 3PO was just by his voice?! When Owen’s dad married Anakin’s mom, she took 3PO apparently shortly after Anakin left. Owen’s been around 3PO for who knows how long, knowing the way he acts, and didn’t recognize the inflections later down the line. Queue my dad, who defends the prequels to high hell, saying: “Well Owen didn’t have the Force with him, son.” THAT IS A PISS-POOR COP OUT AND YOU KNOW IT! I’m calling it what it is… horrible writing from the creator of Star Wars who was lazy enough to NOT LOOK BACK ON THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY TO PROPERLY WRITE THESE DAMN MOVIES! BTW, 3PO’s head gets knocked off during that assembly line scene. THE PREQUELS ARE ORIGINAL MY ASS!

Con: Eventually all our heroes are caught, and Dooku visits Obi-wan. Dooku practically tells him that Palpatine’s a Sith Lord running the Republic, not telling him it’s Palpatine, but c;mon he can’t put two and two together? And it just goes over Obi-wan’s head. Y’know, I think TOO much meditation isn’t THAT healthy. And this was before the war even began. The Jedi coulda stopped ALL this from happening if Obi-wan were smarter and figured it out right there.

Con: It’s becoming a crisis with the Rebuplic, and Jar Jar, a senator as well, is obviously guilt-tripped into his speech to promote emergency powers to Palpatine… an act that completely circumvents themselves, basically. *Sighs* Palpatine’s been the only saving grace of these prequels, with exceptions. If he hadn’t taken over the Republic, they would’ve destroyed themselves from their own stupidity. Then again, Palpy’s working the Republic AND the Separatists in his great ‘master plan.’ So he was probably counting on them being idiots.

Pro: The arena scene, probably the only scene where I felt tension, cuz they never had their lightsabers.

Now, there are deleted scenes of the movie. Some we see of Padme’s family on Naboo. It seems like they go nowhere, but it made Padme and Anakin’s relationship seemed less forced. Another one is a trial scene where the Geonosian leader sentences them to death in that arena scene. And that sentence for them makes sense when you think about it… they were charged with trespassing and espionage. Which they were kinda doing. As much as I hate to say this, guys… the Jedi when they came in and started fighting… pretty much were the ones who started the war. And especially when Yoda came down with the Clone Army.

Con: Wait! You mean to tell me, Jedi, you’re just going along with this? This army was made mysteriously without your knowledge, and you’re just going along with it. You guys don’t even follow up an investigation with this immediately.

Pro: The Clone Troopers were the only character I truly liked. Several clones get their own character and background in the Clone Wars Series and ‘Star Wars Rebels’. They had the looks, the tools, the ships. They rocked. Too bad they all turn into bad guys later down the road. Though some reject. Captain Rex, YOU ROCK!

So the war’s officially started and Jango gets his head cut off, thus setting the stage for young Boba.

Con: the final conflict is with Dooku vs Anakin and Obi-wan, and the fight here is just boring. It’s overly choreographed and of course, Anakin loses his right arm.

Con: Yoda shows up, fights Dooku with the force, then with lightsabers. Now Plinket in his review goes on about Yoda is powerfully spiritually, but can’t physically match up with opponents. Me personally, I’m not gonna delve into that, cuz a small opponent could match a bigger opponent. No bash Yoda fighting cuz of how ridiculous and utterly hilarious it’s done with him flipping off everything.

Dooku gets away, tell Palpatine/Darth Sidious everything’s going just as planned, begun the Clone War has, and the Jedi basically doomed the Republic with all the sleeper agents they allowed in. They completely forget about Padme’s assassin attempt, the mysterious creation of the Clone Army, and Anakin and Padme get married. They…. Got… MARRIED.

Da end!

THIS MOVIE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry, but this movie is just terrible
Oh yeah, we found out the client ordering Padme’s assassination is Nute Gunray, the trade viceroy from TPM. Why, dude? You brought this on yourself by siding your whole damn organization with Sidious. And hell, you’re going along with Sidious again with this whole thing with the Separatists. What are you getting out of all this?!

Lucas completely ruined Boba’s mysterious facade in this movie. Now I hear Boba’s really good in the Clone Wars series, but why couldn’t he have been just an apprentice to Jango?

Every single Jedi is either useless or flat out stupid. Obi-wan’s the main character, but he had NOTHING about to make us relate to him, or wanna root for him. You guys suck at your jobs being the guardians of peace and justice, you just flat-out ignored all the people that needed your help on Tattooine, all you settled were tax and border crap. The Jedi are guardians of peace and justice, not soldiers. You’re basically cops. And I say this again, were you guys fighting pirate guilds or something before? Otherwise, what good is it with a bigass temple you got housing hundreds, if not thousands, of Jedi?

We see kids in Jedi training… with lightsabers!!!!!! Look at the scene, all the kids are holding their lightsabers so awkwardly. Hell they used the training method Obi-wan had Luke do in ANH. They couldn’t make up really cool Padawan teachings? The prequels are original, my ass! On that note, I thought making the lightsaber was a rite of passage to adulthood.

Speaking off the kids, and this has been a rant I’ve been saving up for years now… this movie basically makes it clear, and I had to look up info outside the movie too, that parents don’t love their kids. If a baby is born with Force-sensitive powers, they’re given to be raised by the Jedi. Babies are taken away from their parents to be raised a cult-like, restrictive environment where they don’t learn/not allowed to express their feelings or even HEALTHY ways to express them. I’m sorry, but this is just stupid and wrong! No damn wonder people HATE the Jedi in the movies, they’re baby-snatchers!

Jeez, I feel bad for the parents who found out their Jedi kid was branded a traitor then killed. “You think giving our special baby to the Jedi was a bad decision, honey?”

Yeah yeah, it’s based on the Buddhists teachings of rejection of attachments. Then why are they allowed to have friends?! You dumbass Jedi contradict yourselves by forming friendships, another form of attachments! Attachments are NOT LIMITED to romance and crap! This dumbass idea of the Jedi, sworn protectors of the republic and the entirety of the galaxy in general, not being allowed to form positive attachments towards the people they're protecting is really stupid. You'd think falling to the dark side would be much easier if they have no personal stakes in actually being good for the sake of their loved ones. Heck, Luke's love for his father was what REDEEMED FREAKIN' DARTH VADER! Hell, for those who know me, you’d probably think I’m better suited in being a Sith Lord than a Jedi, for I’m angry of how short-sided, hypocritical and moronic these ‘guardians’ are.

Also, this movie teaches us that love and anger will lead you to being evil. We see Obi-wan get mad and through out sarcastic quips. No… just no. Lucas, you DO NOT know jack crap! Yeah, anger and passion can cloud minds…. BUT THEY CAN ALSO FOCUS THE MIND! You all know me; I get pissed off over injustice and wrongs going on the world. Which is perfectly normal! And the Jedi are never taught love. That is BULLCRAP!!!! Without knowing love you don’t learn compassion for others and to want to help other beings, WHICH IS WHAT YOU SCHMUCKS ARE ALL ABOUT!!!!! Again, why do the Jedi bother forming friendships? Why even bother holding funeral pyres if you don’t care about one another? I don’t care how philosophical this gets, it’s badly written, and it paints the Jedi Order as unlikable douchebags!

In the Expanded Universe, Luke did away with that rule that Jedi can’t love. Hell, what should have happened was that they can form families ONLY within the Order itself. BOOM! There’s drama! It makes it where Anakin has to choose someone within the Order over Padme outside of it.

Hell, now that I think about it, Padme shoulda been the one to tell Anakin to just leave. In fact Anakin shoulda have just left. Anakin, you complain that all the Jedi, including Obi-wan, don’t give you respect, and there didn’t seem to be a penalty if you do choose to leave. So why not? That WHOLE entire debacle from the Clone Wars to the crap that happens in the next movie coulda been avoided if Anakin just left right then and there. Hell, the entire Clone Wars up to Palpatine taking over coulda been avoided! Yeah, there would’ve been no Episodes 4 to 6. But when you watch all the movies from 1 to 6, and look back on 1 to 3, you’ll realize that all the major crap coulda happened if our ‘heroes’ were smarter. But no, Lucas made ‘em that way to drive the plot to the inevitable conclusion.

Case and point, Padme. As many people point out that Jar jar was responsible for everything from the Clone Wars to the Empire taking over, I BLAME IT ALL ON PADME! It started when Padme DIDN’T get the two Jedi to testify about the Trade Feds. Also, she witnessed the state of Tattooine first hand, and did NOTHING to help them. Padme as well as the Jedi Order are all indirectly responsible for Anakin’s mother’s death for not taking any action at all to help them.

My God, the romance was just so badly written and forced, it makes Twilight look like a masterpiece. I am DEAD serious about that. NO, FORGET WHAT I SAID, TWILIGHT’S ROMANCE IS WAY WORSE! But this right there with it. Anakin and Padme’s chemistry is just horrible. Not once did I feel like they were in love. They didn’t see each other ONCE in between TPM and AOTC. Yet they seem to fall in love and get married WITHIN ONE WEEK! Yes, I calculated it.
Even weirder, Padme tells him she can’t fall in love cuz she’s a senator. WHAT?! They barely had any time together in TPM, they hardly knew about each other, like any normal, HEALTHY relationship happens. All Anakin did was bitch about everyone around him at her. ANAKIN IS OPENLY FOR A DICTATORSHIP AND PADME DOESN’T EVEN BAT AN EYE! Make matters worse, when Anakin actually tells Padme that he killed a whole bunch of people, SHE AGAIN DOESN’T BAT AN EYE! YES, PADME IS ALSO RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FALL OF THE REPUBLIC AND THE DESTRUCTION OF 90% OF THE JEDI ORDER VIA ANAKIN BY NOT LOCKING HIM UP AFTER HE TOLD HER EVERYTHING!

My God, Anakin Skywalker was supposed to be this great dude, whose fall to the Dark Side was a shame. But no, Lucas decided just to make him bad from the start. I did not once see him and Obi-wan being friends at all. All they did was just bicker at each other’s throats. It’s really hilarious when Obi-wan says in ANH that he was a good friend. Yeah, some friend you had there, you jackass.

And man, so many unanswered questions? Who or what are the Sith? Who wrote that whole prophecy where Anakin’s ‘the chosen one’? What does bringing balance to force actually mean? Lucas, why didn’t you have editors working these scripts out? Those who worked on it, why didn’t you stand up to Lucas telling him nothing made sense? What the HELL was up with that separatist robo-dude with the knobs? Where can I get Zam’s speeder? What the hell did Zam say after switching back to her real face while dying?

Val Kilmer: It just raises too many questions.

Sorry for biting your style, Linkara

But for the love of Heidegger, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FANS THAT STILL DEFEND THESE PREQUELS?! Yeah, I got movies people hate but I defend them, but I got my reasons. I won’t dis you for liking them, I JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHY WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH FRIGGIN’ BAGGAGE WITH THESE MOVIES! Just gimme some closure!

It’s just gonna go downhill from here in the next movie, so stay tuned.

Thanks for your time, and sorry for the wall of text

Happy St. Patty's Day everybody.

Hope, y'all got the luck of the Irish on ya... even though I'm Scottish myself. But anyhoo, my luck's turning around, all I need is $76 bucks and I'm out of the hole.

It's green day, and I'm feeling like it. ^^

Don't expect any art from me today, I'm wiped out.

Oh man, thank God.

All I need is $120 to clear this out, baby! XD

Guys, I wanna thank y'all for all your help. You've all been been friends to me, and I don't think I fully appreciated that. Sorry if it seemed like I was practically begging for money

My God! Everytime I think I'm in the clear, they pack on overdraft charges!!!!

Guys, I'm sorry, I really am sorry!

BUT I STILL NEED EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS! SOMETHING OVER $220.00

Turns out I'm overdrawn almost $50.00 in my bank account.

So I need at least $50.00 to $100.00 in my account TODAY.

Please help

Wasn't over the budget.

Well… here we are people. Welcome to the Star Wars: Phantom Menace review. (or TPM)

Boy I was not looking forward to doing this ever since I first announce it. Now people have broken these prequels down frame for frame on WHY they’re so hated or derided. What could I possibly talk about that hasn’t been said millions of times before? Well, instead of doing synopses for these, I’ll be making lists, sorta like CinemaSins (those assholes have no life). I’ll be listing the ‘pros’…. (Wherever the heck I can find any). I’ll list the ‘cons’ (expect A LOT), and the WSHH (What Should Have Happened. I love acronyms. ^^) Some things you might recognize from the Plinket reviews, a lot of which I agree with, trust me, it warrants that.

So, before I begin, I wanna what was your experience as you were going to see this movie for the first time in 1999, if y’all got any. Back then I would watch Star Wars almost every day, ‘Return of the Jedi’ mostly. Then when I saw the ‘Shadows of the Empire’ toys come out, I thought THAT was going to be a new film. The book’s really fun, guys. Go out and read it. Then when I heard a new Star Wars film was coming, and weeks later we saw the trailer, I think I speak for everyone in saying we were all blown away by it initially. After seeing it for the first time, I was saying how awesome it was. I was 12 at the time, and really didn’t know any better. But I always had a thought in the back of my mind saying, “I LIKED this, right?”

When I announced this, people have told me left and right that Jar Jar was the reason they hated TPM. To me, guys… Jar Jar is the LEAST of this movie’s problems. So without further guiding the lily… here we go:

OK, so the prequels take place roughly 30+ years before ‘A New Hope’ or ANH and there’s a Galactic Trade Federation that’s boycotting trade routes to Naboo.

Con: OK, why? That’s not what a Trade Federation does, blockading trade, nor have a gigantic army at the ready. What exactly are they blocking? What did the Naboo do to them that’s making do this? Is it revenge? What? What were they blockading that was so important to the Naboo? Naboo’s a firggin’ lush planet.

Con: Two Jedi are sent to resolve this conflict. What makes Jedi experts in taxations? Their shtick is basically being cops.

WSHH: It shouldn’t have been Qui Gon at all, and I’ll get to him later. It should’ve been Obi-Wan and a young Anakin Skywalker. Obi-Wan didn’t do a thing but whine in this, and he basically got the shaft

WSHH: Yeah, the Jedi should’ve have been wearing the robes at all. In ANH, I could believe those robes, cuz it was a desert. Yeah, I know their whole shtick is reflective of being monks, but that always doesn’t to be. Wear some kinda armor, like it would’ve been that start of the Clone/Stormtrooper armor.

Con: A droid tells them their Jedi Knights and they seal them in, blow up their ship and start pumping gas in the conference room. Only after a few minutes they open the doors. Why? Why not leave them for hours? Or why didn’t the Jedi immediately start cutting their way out? Do the Jedi have the Speed Force, like when they were dodging the Droidikas? How come we don’t see them use that again?

Con: Qui Gon and Obi-Wan’s plan is to go down with the army to ‘warn’ the Naboo. If you go down WITH the army, you’re not be able to warn anyone. And go on separate ships, which was really dumb.

Con: The Trade Federation land miles away from the main city.

WSHH: The Trade Federation keeps those landing ships in hover over the city while a big air force flies down. That’s more menacing to me.

Pro: I like the Trade Federation designs and vehicles, but their Battle Droids suck.

Con: The Jedi meet Jar Jar, he takes them to their underwater city, which didn’t look that deep, meaning at night the surface of the water is gonna be lit up. They try to plead with the Gungans to help them warn them. They don’t like the Naboo, but offer them one of their ships. The quickest way to them is through the planet core. Uuuuuuh, what? How the hell is that anyway at all faster? Naboo’s said to have no molten core. Then how does it have ANY kind of land mass? No magma, no lava. No Lava, no rock. And they take Jar Jar to be their navigator. How do you know he’s good at navigating? The whole scene with them underwater is so tension-less it’s hilarious. The Jedi aren’t worried, so why should I give a damn?

Con: So the Trade Feds are in league with Palpatine/Darth Sidious, who wanted to start a conflict on Naboo that would get him a rise to power? Make her sign a treaty to make the invasion legal? Huuuuuh? What the hell is a LEGAL INVASION?! And did old Palpy offer the Trade Feds offer them in return for all this that puts their entire organization at risk? It can’t be anything political, cuz that would give Palpy away. We’re never told things, and Lucas expected us to know and care. No, George. We need clear motivations.

Pro: I like the Gungan sub and Queen Amidala’s ship.

Con: They get away, and the Trade Fed ships fire at them, somehow hitting their shield generator… WHILE THE SHIELDS ARE UP. We see R2 fix them, and him being in this felt so forced (ha ha). And has her handmaiden , Padme (the real queen) clean him up. After watching it a second time it’s just hilarious how It played out.

Con: They land on Tatooine to get a new shield generator, and it’s not controlled by the Trade Feds. They meet Watto who won’t take their credits. Why not go to a place that trades credits? Why not barter the Queen’s wardrobe to be able to pay for the part they need? You might have fetched a good price? Why not trade your fancy-ass ship for another that will do you just right? Why not hire a smuggler like Solo to get you there, or better yet a transport? But no, it was all the will of the force that led them to meet kid Anakin. (I’ll get to that in the future prequel reviews)

Con: Anakin and his mother are slaves… yeah, they sure look oppressed, have a nice house. And Anakin is seen with other kids. Are they slaves too? And what does his mother do exactly as part of her ‘slave labor’?

Con: Anakin made C3PO… ugh. And to help his mother around. A ‘protocol droid’… to help with slave labor~

Con: They get him to do a pod race to help them get the part they need. Why not Anakin steal the part. It’s clear that he takes certain parts to make a Pod Racer that Watto didn’t know he built. Instead it makes Gui Gon make the most convoluted plan/bet that in the end made all this go in their favor. No pod is worth two slaves, why not?

Con: Anakin’s immaculate conception. It was just thrown in there without any real consequence, and not touched upon. But no, he was conceived by the…. ‘Midichlorians’~ *rage feuling*

WSHH: Two things should’ve happened. One was the aforementioned, Anakin is the Jedi partner to Obi-Wan. The other, Anakin is an orphan and part of a pirate gang, in his teens, already a top pilot. And on that note, Pademe should’ve been a farmer on the Lars Farm and be Owen’s sister. Anakin meets her and she has to come with them somehow…. Just anything other than THIS.

Pro: I like the idea of the Pod Race, I just wished it was in another movie.

Con: The Pod Race wasn’t exciting. We know Anakin’s gonna win, and since it’s a prequel, there’s no tension nor excitement. But oh no, we need to trust Qui Gon’s judgement.

Con: They get part, Anakin flies away with them, meanwhile while all that was going on, Naboo’s having it rough. But we don’t see it, therefore don’t care about the conflict, because… “There IS no conflict.”

Con: They reach Courisant, and it all comes to a court scene where Padme makes a vote of no confidence in the current chancellor it somehow gets old Palpy elected within a few hours it seemed. Yeah, a vote of no confidence… not getting in a word from the two Jedi… the ones that the currnet chancellor trusted to resolve this thing, the ones who say the invasion first-hand, the ones that the Trade Feds nearly killed. Errrrrgh.

Before I move on, I need to address this. People have told me and I’ve read others’ reviews that they love the prequels cuz it has politics, therefore to them, it’s automatically intellectually good. Star Wars is a fantasy story about good versus evil. It always has been, and always will. It was NEVER ABOUT POLITICS. The reason why the ‘politics’ fail in these prequels, is because it involved scenes and conflicts that don’t in any way make any sense and involve taking actions and inactions that are equally idiotic.

Con: The Jedi Council are all idiots that just sat on their asses. I’ll talk about them more in the next review. Qui Gon brings up he’s the chosen on in a prophecy, that will in no way necessary to add, Lucas!!! They won’t train Anakin, says he’s too old. He’s 8… or 9… maybe 10. You know, it was really never clear how old he was. When they refused to train him, Qui Gon takes it upon himself to do it, and just brushes Obi-Wan off, saying he’s ready to advance. “Gee, thanks O’ wise-ass master.”

OK, this all the other crap I can overlook, but NOT THIS. The Midichlorians… this entire concept completenly negates how people can become Jedi in a spiritual way, which was already good, instead it relates to the physical. I’m sorry but no. The Midichlorians retcons The Force as just being superpowers, which I’ll get into more in the next review, not who you are as a person. They tell Jedi the will of the force. And Gui Gon mentioned Anakin being conceived by the Midiclorians… so the ‘will of the force’ MADE Anakin to destroy 90% of the Jedi and cause all this crap with the Empire to happen????? Ererrgh, and why even bother bringing all that up if it won’t be touched upon in the subsequent movies, Lucas?!

Con: So only TWO Jedi are sent back with Padme when she decides to go back to Naboo… who didn’t have any real plan, and hoped the Gungans will lend their army. God, these Jedi are just useless. With more, they may have been able to capture Darth Maul and get answers.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention, Darth Maul: cool-looking, but I don’t care in the slightest about him.

Con: WHY BRING THE KID WITH THEM!?!?!

Con: All the other Trade Fed ships are gone, leaving just one…. WHY?!

Con: Blah blah blah, they Gungans to help. Set up the plan. Jar Jar’s a general now somehow. Dumbass shield thing where PEOPLE CAN PASS THROUGH.

WSHH: Droid Fighters fly in, causing the creatures that had the mounted shield generators to scatter.

Con: Jedi fight Maul. Though the fight is cool, the only prequel fight I like, but it involves characters I don’t know anything about and don’t care about.

Con: What power generator where they fought…. DOES THAT POWER THE ENTIRE FRICKIN’ PLANET?! You mean to tell me that whatever was so important to the Naboo that the Trade Feds were blocking they couldn’t live a day without it was more important that THIS?! And what was with hat shield thing turning off and on? Why was it there?!

Con: Anakin accidentally flies to help the pilots take out the control ship but it’s not bad-ass at all, it’s just hilarious how it happened, and again, somehow getting through the shield.

Con: Qui Gon gets killed, Obi-Wan dices Maul in half… and SOMEHOW ends up being the Clone Wars cartoon. He makes Obi-wan promise to train Anakin, for he’s the chosen one.

Con: The Jedi are weary of Anakin… yet allow Obi-Wan to train him… y’all doomed yourselves because of that.

Blah blah blah, peace between Naboo and Gungans, there’s still a threat, Palpy’s the new chancellor, oh who the hell cares anymore at this point?!

This movie sucks!

The conflict makes no sense at all, or its barely there. There’s absolutely NO TENSION OR EXCITEMENT throughout. The characters don’t feel like characters at all. They all speak in monotone, they’re not likable or compelling.
Obi-Wan did nothing but whine. Padme was just a moron, and explain more of her come the next review. Anakin was just a generic little boy, who never came across any of the things he was SUPPOSE to be. And I really feel bad for Jake Loyd, getting the crap he got afterwards. R2 and 3PO were simply there just to please the fans.

As for Jar Jar Binks… I know I’m gonna get fleck for this…. But he was only character that actually FELT like a character. Yes, the way he talked is grating!!!! Oi vey! He shoulda been a warrior, and a bad-ass one at that. I’ve seen Gungan OC art on e621, and NOBODY can enjoy looking at it without picturing jar Jar or imagine them talking the way they do. And no he wasn’t racist with the way he looked, he was just VERY ANNOYING. He was just not necessary at all, and as much as he gets the blame for the Clone Wars and subsequent rise of the Empire, I blame that more on Padme and I’ll explain why.

Watto was the one of 2 of the only characters I liked, and I didn’t find him racist. Old Palpy was the other, for reason I’ll get into later.

The biggest issue I have with this film, besides the midichlorians, is Qui-Gon Jinn…. A.K.A. Gui-Gon Booze. He was just a moron and the worst Jedi ever! He took unnecessary risks, made people assume he was always right, and bent the rules with Watto in his favor to be abel to free Anakin. I hate to say this people, but Watto was right, Qui-Gon DID swindle him. And he makes the stupidest decisions ever; from telling Obi-wan to stowaway in separate ships to tell Anakin to stay in the cockpit. Oh, he was just relying on The Force, telling him where to meet Anakin, I’m sure I’m gonna hear. BULLCRAP! That is a copout and you goddamn know it! Relying on The Force for EVERYTHING is not good writing.

This whole story was just bad writing. No… the prequels are not good… at all! They are all poorly written, poorly planned, and very rushed out stories that don’t tie in with the originals. Lucas literally wrote only one draft in a week and went from there without any editing whatsoever.

The only good I found were the ships, and that was crushed by the crap.

And it just gets worse from here. We all know, we saw the next two films.

And boy howdy, people, wait till I review ‘Attack of the Clones’.

Hey guys, It's after 2:00 am here in Cali, and I can't sleep. This has been on my mind all day after a heated discussion on my Ghostbusters journal.

Please, people, I implore y'all to leave comments AFTER reading the thing. OK, I'm not trying to defend this thing. I'm not gonna blatantly call the best movie EVAR, nor am I gonna downright call it a bomb like the fanboys have already declared. Just cuz I have hopes for it, doesn't mean I'm blind as to why the backlash is so enormous. Reason I'm laughing cuz it's basically the friggin' standard operating procedure if something's not 100% faithful to ANY original product. Sounds like I'm profiling, but c'mon, you know it's true.

Jeez, one damn trailer, and people think it's the end of the world. It's the second trailer to Batman v Superman all over again.

 elcid I'm expecting you with this.

Lemme break down some things: the humor. That's one of two things people are harping on. "Oh it's nothing but slapstick humor, it doesn't have the intellectual humor like the originals have!" Fair enough, but I ain't gonna judge that based on a nearly 2-minute trailer. Least I know there will be a puke scene and I'll know when to expect that. Some low brow humor I might expect, but I do want genuine humor too. "They're trying to recreate the Librarian scene and did it horribly" Again, I'm gonna wait and see on that.

Second biggest problem is the characters.

Call this fate, but after posting the aforementioned journal, I saw my mom watching Melissa McCarthy in 'Spy'. And I gotta say, I was thoroughly entertained by it a lot more than 'Kingsman.' And honestly, I can't wait to see what she does in this. Again, this is all my opinion. I know y'all hate her with a passion. As I've said before, I like Kristen Wigg, can't wait to see her in this. And I'm genuinely interested in Kate McKinnon's character. 'The whole cast is nothing but stereotypes', I know someone is gonna say. I don't see that.

The biggest controversy that's becoming the butt of everybody's joke since the trailer came out is Leslie Jones' character. A loud, aggressive obnoxious black woman.
I'm truly surprised they haven't made a parody song called 'Everything is Racist!' Cuz don't deny this, you can't enjoy ANYTHING these days without some joker declaring it. (* Awaiting someone to yell at me 'It's right there on the screen, that's an objective opinion.) yeah, cuz the ONLY defining character trait is JUST THAT. 2-minute long trailer, people! 'She's an ATM worker, she's useless.' I've read comments that she shoulda been a cop or a detective. While that coulda worked, reason why Winston worked the way he did cuz he's an 'every-man' in the first one. He just wanted a job. That's why he remains the most likable of the four to me. And that's what I see here with Jones' character. "She's screaming out 'Oh hell naw'!" This is that EXACT SAME DUMBASS LOGIC from fanboys that constantly bashed Finn in 'The Force Awakens' with his line 'Hell no,' thinking it's the typical slang for 'Hell Naw'. DOn't even get me started on the goddamn 'Droid please' thing, cuz obviously nobody knows what a plea-for-your-life moment is. She wants to help out the team, that makes her cool in my book. "But it's done in the exact why when Winston joins' People, that is NOT a big damn deal. Nor was her reaction to Melissa being possessed. If I saw that in real, I don't friggin' care, I AM GOING to have the same reaction. YOU WILL TOO. At the end of the day this is a character that Leslie plays often and as we live in a free society no one has forced her to do so. It is NOT worth complaining over, for this type of attitude ain't limited to black people.

So yeah, it could suck. It could. It's up in the air at this point. But people make this out like they're being forced to see it. No you're not. You don't have to. I know a lot of you won't regardless. I'll see it and let you know how it is.

Sorry I keep bringing this crap up.

On one more note, if there's a kissing scene, I know it's gonna be better than the one in the last movie. That the worst, most awkward kiss in cinema history.

so yeah, I know you already hate this thing. Fine, but it's STILL ALL SUBJECTIVE.

Clever title, eh? hehehehehe Don't worry, this is spoiler-free

Yeah, I meant to do this last Friday, but I never seem to wanna get my lazy ass in gear a lot of the times.

Last Friday I saw 'Gods of Egypt', and I gotta say... I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. There were some hiccups on the acting part on the guy and gal 'mortals' in the movie, but that was really minor. I dug Geoffry Rush as Ra. I didn't see that coming. I'm glad Alex Proyas is back in the game after his ordeal with Tom Rothman during 'IRobot'

And Yesterday, I saw 'Zootopia'... do not let the haters tell y'all differently, this movie was so much fun. The story was cool AND deep, the characters were all awesome, the art and style is so invigorating,

I highly recommend both to everybody who wants to see it.

Both had heart, and I deem these two worthy of getting on DVD ^^

Well, finally saw the trailer of the upcoming 2016 Ghostbusters supplied by one  marbles

You can actually HEAR the collective of 'hardcore' Ghostbusters fans, and I use that term loosely, either facepalming, or whining like bitches saying; THEY RUINED MY CHILDHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good God, shut up!

Let's get this out of the way, I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS THAT IT'S AN ALL-FEMALE TEAM! Hell, in the cartoon series Jenine becomes one, and they're have been female team members in future incarnations. This is becoming another idiotic mindset of fanboys that its 'feminist propaganda', like Furiosa in 'Mad Max: Fury Road' was. If you really believe that, and leave comments saying that it is, I'm branding you an idiot.

Hell, Uwe Boll says to boycott this. I'M SUPPOSE TO BELIEVE THIS DELUDED MORON, WHO HAS NOT MADE ONE GOOD MOVIE IN HIS WHOLE CAREER TO NOT WATCH SOMETHING!?!? Now I'm gonna watch it!

Who the hell says a girl can't kick ass? Cutie Honey's the perfect example. I don't want cheesecake for the sake of it, nor do I want it from unlikable characters. If she's awesome and likable, seeing her goodies are the icing on the cake, my friends. And I do love Kristen Wiig. I know, people are gonna complain about the stereotypical, black, sassy woman. But why the hell should I complain, I'm half black, my mom's full black and she'll act sassy sometimes.

But all these gals look fun, and have perked my interest. Especially the new gadgets them seem to have; with Kate MicKinnon's character have twin guns. pistols that shoot proton lasers?!!!?!?! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT! And it looked like we're gonna see how the proton packs are made, since they never explained how they were in the original film. Portable nuclear accelerators, people! And UNLICENSED ones at that! You'd think they would delve more into something important like that for their arsenals to combat those pretty pesky poltergeists. (I love alliterations XD)

And I know would've wanted an actual sequel of the original cast to come out this year. Yeah because a sequel to come out after 25+ years would be a guaranteed hit. Worked FAN-FRIGGIN'-TASTICALLY for Indiana Jones 4 and Dumb and Dumber Too. I ain't expecting sequels for 'Shanghai Knights', "Nacho Libre', or 'School of Rock' anytime soon, cuz it's been so long I don't care anymore.

So why am I gonna see this, confirmed, sequel, if I wouldn't have cared that a sequel would've come out 25+ years anyway, and thus resulting comments calling a hypocrite? Well, cuz the concept alone interests me, and the new characters making it a legacy film maybe. It doesn't have to have the same characters. Plus, the aforementioned movies listed above were ones that came out in the early to mid 2000s, and they were all just THAT awesome and do deserve a sequel, and should have because nothing was holding them back. 'Indy 4' and 'Dumber and Dumber Too'... were just friggin' stupid. And GOOD LORD, I would've absolutely REFUSED TO WATCH IT IF THEY ORIGINALLY HAVE CASTED SETH ROGAN AND JAMES FRANCO TO STAR IN IT. I cannot stand those two anymore and Seth Rogan has NOT made a good movie. He already ruined Green Hornet, and Bruce Lee is kicking in his grave

So yeah, it could suck like Fant4stic. (actually if it did suck, there would be things that would make it better than Fant4stic) Or I could be pleasantly surprised and enjoy it like the 2014 Ninja Turtles reboot. Regardless, I'm gonna check it out. I always reserve judgement till after movies. I'll have low expectations for it cuz of some of the lowbrow humor I saw in the trailer, so yeah.

However, I AM gonna get the Lego sets of this that are coming out ^^

Till then, live the dream and draw it.

Thanks for your time.

Is there a way to change your User name without making a whole new profile?

"Critics have spoken! Deadpool KILLS ANY AND ALL Disney MCU flicks, and you'll never be able to beat how incredible of a film it's gonna be.

Deadpool shows how superhero films need to be made now. Audiences don't want childish MCU Disney garbage, they want dark, violent, gritty superhero flicks, and the humor needs to be in line with what adults actually laugh at."

GOOD GOD, SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!! THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HATE HARDCORE FANBOYS!

"But I get the feeling this may just be the tip of the iceberg. If and when these other R-rated CBMs see similar success, more will certainly follow, at which point, Marvel Studios knows they'll have to adjust their strategy in order to compete and stay atop the CBM food chain. What this means is Marvel Studios will perhaps start dipping their toes in R-rated CBMs aimed for adults in addition to their "flagship" films aimed for a wider audience similar to what Fox is doing right now"

So Marvel Studios is gonna bend over and take the ass, going to the lowest common denominator just to keep up their success, make everything R-rated to get more attention. Wow.... just wow.
Guys, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard this crap going on, I'd enough to buy all my friends here steak dinners.

I know I should ignore these idiots, they're in a very slim minority and think they're superior for saying this. I know, I should. But there are people so insecure with themselves, and ashamed to be comic book fans they think they are 'kiddie', they'll spread this mindset to others, and I can't let that pass.

STUPIDITY WILL BREED MORE STUPIDITY. And I just can't stand for that.

This is coming straight from the heart, Marvel Studios. You've done EXCELLENT with what you put out, sans Iron Man 3. You guys ARE being mature, blending dark and humor. You made the characters I grew up with come on the big screen, and I hope you keep doing it. Please don't be like Nolan, who made this dumbass mindset that everything has to be dark and gritty. And don't listen to certain fanboys who spouts the nonsense above, that's how crap like Spider-man 3 happens.

Thanks for your time

"Critics have spoken! Deadpool KILLS ANY AND ALL Disney MCU flicks, and you'll never be able to beat how incredible of a film it's gonna be.

Deadpool shows how superhero films need to be made now. Audiences don't want childish MCU Disney garbage, they want dark, violent, gritty superhero flicks, and the humor needs to be in line with what adults actually laugh at."

GOOD GOD, SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!! THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HATE HARDCORE FANBOYS!

"But I get the feeling this may just be the tip of the iceberg. If and when these other R-rated CBMs see similar success, more will certainly follow, at which point, Marvel Studios knows they'll have to adjust their strategy in order to compete and stay atop the CBM food chain. What this means is Marvel Studios will perhaps start dipping their toes in R-rated CBMs aimed for adults in addition to their "flagship" films aimed for a wider audience similar to what Fox is doing right now"

So Marvel Studios is gonna bend over and take the ass, going to the lowest common denominator just to keep up their success, make everything R-rated to get more attention. Wow.... just wow.
Guys, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard this crap going on, I'd enough to buy all my friends here steak dinners.

I know I should ignore these idiots, they're in a very slim minority and think they're superior for saying this. I know, I should. But there are people so insecure with themselves, and ashamed to be comic book fans they think they are 'kiddie', they'll spread this mindset to others.

STUPIDITY WILL BREAD MORE STUPIDITY. And I just can't stand for that.

This is coming straight from the heart, Marvel Studios. You've done EXCELLENT with what you put out, sans Iron Man 3. You guys ARE being mature, blending dark and humor. You made the characters I grew up with come on the big screen, and I hope you keep doing it. Please don't be like Nolan, who made this dumbass mindset that everything has to be dark and gritty. And don't listen to certain fanboys who spouts the nonsense above, that's how crap like Spider-man 3 happens.

Thanks for your time

I JUST won an ebay auction. A lego City passenger plane. 90% complete, but that's a non-issue, cuz that's gonna be the basis to make a VTOL 747 MOC.

Whew..... my heart's STILL pounding

Good day.

Well, people.... I've finally broken a vow I've held for over a decade now. I said to myself I'd never watch a horror flick again, save for the exceptions, but I decided to to it to at least put up a decent, non-biased review... *record scratches* Oh, I'm sorry, did I say horror movie.. *laughs* Oh, I'm sorry. I'm confusing this with a story THAT'S SUPPOSE TO BE A GOD DAMN KAMEN RIDER MOVIE!!! :yell:

*siiiiiigh* Hooooo boy, people. I was NOT looking forward to review this one, ever since I first started doing these reviews, and ever since I reviewed 'The First', I was even less excited cuz I knew I was gonna do it eventually. But I figured I get this off my chest before getting the Star Wars reviews, so here it is.

And you guessed... this was written by Toshiki Inoue. Expect some yelling.

You'd think when you're watching a Kamen Rider film, you're not expecting something that would be in 'The Grudge.' I'm gonna save y'all most of the dumb-ass details about this movie, because SO VERY LITTLE happens in this 'follow-up', and I use the term loosely. In case you haven't read The First review http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7210576/

OK, this movie takes place 2 years after the evens of 'The First.' Our 'protagonist,' using that term loosely too, Takeshi Hongo/Kamen Rider Ichigo is a high school teacher in a class full of pretty bad delinquents. Now some of y'all are probably wondering... where is Asuka? Y'know.... that dumb reporter broad that Hongo risked life and limb to save? The gal that kept getting knocked out EVERY DAME TIME, and was driving force of these characters throughout the bloody thing that was an exucse to make piss-poor drama?!?! No idea! You heard it, folks. There's NO sign of her throughout this film, not even mentioned once.

*sighs* Inoue, now I know you have a definite problem when it comes to women. Was putting Asuka in the first movie done by editorial mandate? Did that make you hate Asuka so much you wrote all these unintentionally hilarious things to happen to her. This feels just like with Mari from Kamen Rider Faiz, the dullest character ever, and it felt like you hated writing her character.

So, the story goes that there's a string of bizarre, gruesome murders. The connection to the victims is that they were all listening to 'Platinum Smile' by a famous pop idol named Chiharu. Long story short, Chiharu's the younger sister of a Kamen Rider from Shocker by the name of an enterprise president Shiro Kazami, a.k.a. Kamen Rider Version 3 (or V3). The entire building was flooded with nanomachines that infected a whole bunch of people, killing them, but Shiro and Chiharu survived, their bodies accepting the nanomachines and have been turned into cyborgs. Later that night after a concert, 2 broads jealous of Chiharu decided to push her down stairs and her face hits a circuit box, horribly disfiguring her face. Chiharu jumps and commits suicide, the manager cosmetically alters one of the two's faces to look like her to keep business going and cover up her death. Yadda yadda yadda, it had so little to do with anything, it's really not worth mentioning.

But Chiharu's new cyborg body escapes down in the sewers and is mutated due to the side affects, murdering everyone. That's what got the plot going with Chiharu's high school friend, Kotomi. Turns out it's all a plot from Shocker.

Hongo, why didn't you take care of Shocker all around the world instead of being a teacher!?!? :yell:

Blah, they find out Chiharu's not Chiharu, find out what happened. Hayato Ichimonji joins in the fray. You remember him, right? That complete asshole who was trying take Asuka for himself, and was made to look like her killed fiance (for whatever reason). He's Kamen Rider Nigo. After 2 years, he's slowly dying from not doing blood transfusions for his cybernetics, and owns a club.

Moving, V3 was charged to kill the two Riders, all learning Chiharu's alive, V3 decided to join them and the latest Shocker threat that involved those aforementioned nanomachines. They were gonna spread them across Japan.

If it seems like I'm rushing through this, it's because that's basically what happens. V3 finally kills Chiharu and he goes off to parts unknown. Ichimonji finally succumbs to massive blood loss and dies while chilling out with a group of gorgeous gals. Man, I feel sorry the poor janitor who'll have to clean that up. And Hongo is fired from his job, just after getting his students finally under control that was earlier in the film, which was moronic on multiple levels. Well he did kinda blow his identity, stopping a car with students attempting to take Kotomi and ripping the front wheel off a bike whilst the rider was trying to get him. Oh, who the hell cares, Kotomi is now a supposed love interest for Hongo now. Yaaaaaaaay!

Da end!

On the very, veeeeeeeeeeeeery slime chance that Toei happens to read this, I have one thing to say.... PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF THE GOD OF TOKUSATSU, PLEASE STOP HIRING INOUE AS A WRITER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You were charged to write a KAMEN RIDER STORY! If you want to do horror, or love triangles, THEN WRITE YOUR OWN STORY!!!!

This movie tries to play off as a horror flick when it's suppose to be a follow-up to a reboot of a very classic series. The plot is just thrown together, and expects the audience to be stupid enough to buy into the idiotic plot conveniences throughout. I don't mind when coincidences happen for a movie, but my God, it's done so half-assed here. Everything felt so out of place, and things happen right the hell outta nowhere, like when the Chiharu look alike dies, there's a hologram of her face telling out heroes she ain't Chiharu. WHAT?!?!?!

And speaking of things coming right outta nowhere, apparently the 'Ghost of Chiharu' is back and still a-killin', taking out some random dude who was playing a pachinko game... a Kamen Rider pachinko game that had footage from the 70s series.... why????????????

This movie should've been called 'The Last'... CUZ JESUS CHRIST, THIS MOVIE SUCKS!!!!!!!

Man, I thought The First gonna be a retelling all the Showa Riders from Ichigo to ZX, going to get modernized. The look of the suits were the only saving graces. I dug the Shocker Riders in the film http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Sh.....s_%28reboot%29, and Chainsaw Lizard: http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Ch.....d_%28reboot%29 Like 'The First' the fights were the only beating heart in this thing. And the song 'Chosen Soldier' is very cool. ^^

I said this before, and I'll say it again, I'll sooner watch Shin Kamen Rider then ever watch 'The First' or 'The Next' again, now if you don't mind...

*chucks both 'The First' and 'The Next' in the air, then jumps up into a flip!*

RIDER KICK!!!!!

*My kick obliterates both movies! I land down to strike a pose.*

Till next time live the dream and draw it, then make it HENSHIN!

Thanks for your time.