i am off this monday which kinda sucks cause i have no money to do anything with thanks to phone and car, but work is getting better so at least that's a plus. More hours meaning more money, but lesser and lesser time i can spend with my new friends.

Still single XD go figure, but that's not all that bad. Right now money isn't what it use to be, and i am really missing those 150 a week checks i use to get from florida. I just gotta get use to paying an overly outrageous car insurance bill, i changed my phone bill to. i never use anywhere near the amount of minutes they give, and my text never goes over 250.

I missed the meet today, i really wanted to go and meet all the other people i haven't got to yet.

my scehdule for this week is:
today 5pm-10pm
sunday 4pm-8pm
monday off
tuesday 3pm-9pm
wednesday 4pm-8pm
thursday 5pm to 9pm with a 3pm-4pm meeting before hand
friday 4:45pm-8pm

The most commonly known fact is that if you like the guy, chances are he is either taken, lives to far away, or has a mental defect >.<

Mental defect meaning abusive, controlling, or someone that puts you down for there own gain

I had a lot of fun tuesday ^^ went and ate with dingo, towyn, and drockan. Then we all went back to dingo's place and watched a cheesy horror video that i brought from home XD got a lot of laughs out of it. I stayed over and the next day me and towyn were playing gears of war :P which i suck badly at playing...then again the setting was hardcore XD

I got a raise at work...5 cent but still it's going up ^^. and i am really happy about that. I am no longer a trainee but a one star :P i know sounds like kindergarten with the stars, but cracker barrel has the promotions it goes rising star, 1 star, 2 star, 3 star, and 4star. in three months i will test for 2 star with the possibility of becoming a lead host and trainer :P

I won't be able to go after all cause my new schedule for work has me next tuesday 3-9pm.. i also work this sunday, next friday and Wednesday

I am planing to go to the steak and shake meet, i wanted to go to the dinner tonight, but money did not permit me to I really like spending my time with other furs, Dingo, Towyn, and Nightfox have made living in GA alot better, but i know i also need to go visit toots ^^ so week can hangout some more. Possibly even get her to a meet with me, I know she'd love to meet other furs here :P

So i had a great time this weekend. Went to a place called tacomac, it was interesting. Then we fursuited in the back of dingo's house cause i told him not to trim his grass :P That was really fun. Oh and i couldn't stop laughing about the KFC incident with the angry fat guy .

Since I have your attention..... Fill out these statements/questions.


1) Who are you?
2) Are we friends?
3) When and how did we meet?
4) Would you kiss me?
5) Give me a nickname and explain why.
6) Describe me in 1 word.
7) What was your first impression of me?
8) Do you still think the same?
9) What reminds you of me?
10) If you could give me anything, what would it be?
11) How well do you know me?
12) Are you gonna put this in your journal and see what I say about you?
13) Would you meet up with me?

Taken from Baltowolf

~Notice~

This Department requires no

Physical Fitness Program.



Everyone gets enough exercise

jumping to conclusions. Flying

off the handle. Running down

the boss. Knifing friends in the

back. Dodging responsibility.

And pushing their luck.

I had a fucking amazing time ^^ That was the best weend since fwa and i can't wait to do it again XD I made lots of newer friends, and got to hangout with recent friends. It was so awesome though, next time i will stay over. We had like 16 people all together and i'm really bad with names, but i'll try to get them all. Durangodingo, Nightfox, Goldenwolf, Zerodog, Recca, Atma, Aydan, SD, Towyn coyote, kitara, I-ron, sportmotor, Ryen, Razor, a girl which i never did get her name, and i can't think of the last person >.<

I have to say one of the funniest things i heard was at 8am in the morning, Nightfox was in and out of sleep, and we were talking, so she was out and said or something along the lines of, "if your not responsible then you can't be trusted with the towns people" It was so funny cause it had nothing to do with the conversation. And Sport well that's a completely different story XD but i will never erase that image from my mind.

Next time i am going in full suit :P

So i am starting a medication that i use to take again...It's so i can focus better and not be such a spazz. It's a form of add meds which i have no idea how to spell it, i know it starts with an F. But, maybe now i can finally focus on things and actually finish all my unfinished projects...I still want to learn jumpstyle, and the mirotic dance, and tecktonik. I need to redo my suit with the new upgraded thoughts on it and techniques and i want to build a moving jaw head with the follow me eyes. I know how to do the follow me eyes, the jaw how ever will be brand new to me.

Ok yes i do have things that really turn me on for guys, but in all reality i don't really care if the guy i dates have these traits, it's just a really big plus if they do :P

Hair, I love blond guys, i don't know why but it's always turned me on the most.

Body, tone, but again no ones perfect and i am really far from the word perfect so this is just another plus XD

Personality wise, since i am literary open to any bodies hobbies, it doesn't effect me to any extant. You can ask my ex's on this, they know that if your into it, chances are you can get me interested in it, I never say anything is wrong when someone comes up to me with a new interest that i have never seen before or ever done. ^^ i will try new things cause i like to learn. but back to personality, I really do like the sweet guys, attachment ones, and you don't really have to be athletic, but at least like to see the sun and got out hiking not running, just walking in the woods XD I love the huggers, i am bias on kissing (it's really something that depends on my mood), I love guys who like and have several interest and like to have or make newer interest.

Kinda sallow, but here's the thing guys. If you don't say hi, come up to me and start talking, i'll never get to know you and you'll never get to know me. So don't be shy cause i won't look at you weird or walk away ^^ chance are we have more in common than you really think :P

The question is never really do you think there is someone out there for me, but can I stay and fight long enough to have that person no matter what. I admit i give up to easy when it comes to love, for that special person. I push people away when i feel i'm getting closer to them, I figure it's my way of keeping myself from being hurt as much as i can. Which this is a really bad trait for me to have, I love people, I love going out and having fun. I love to talk and know people, even though i'm not good at the phone cause i know people like to listen to my conversation...which is why i am really quiet on the phone.

But the whole point to this is that there is someone out there for everyone to be with. The only catch to this is that you have to find them and fight for them. You have to see it all the way through, another problem I have. I never see anything all the way through...I have so many unfinished things that i really need to finish..A head i had been working on, learning the different dance i barely know...I haven't even attempted to learn anymore jumpstyle or even practice it. and now i have picked up the mirotic dance by dbsk.

So i got a job at cracker barrel ^^ and it pays 8 an hr which is really good, tomorrow i will ask the schedule manager about hours and if everything works right then i am telling pets mart they can go fuck themselves.

So I might go bowling on the first, i won't actually bowl cause i'm not one for that, but i like pool XD and i think i might actually wear my suit and try to play pool in it :P But my friend  sportmotor told me to come XD and he said he'd cry if i didn't go so i'ma try my best. I actually counted my change today to see if i had enough for gas...for me that's really sad, but it ended up with 9 dollars, it was amazing.

I'm going out everyday till about 8pm to search for a job instead of looking at this empty screen all day or doing house work. So i won't be on a lot if any at all. I'm hoping to get a job at wal-mart, but any where is fine as long as it's work and i get payed. I feel guilty for letting my parents pay my insurance when it's so high, when it's my responsibility to pay for that, my cell phone, and whatever else i want in life. No one else should have to pay for me if i want something, or wanna go somewhere. Plus i can do without a car for awhile, even if i have one that doesn't mean i should be lazy a not walk anywhere, so I'm not really gonna use it unless the weather is bad and i have to use it...

As for pets mart they have cut me back to one day a week which is saturday and in the morning time, so i will continue to work there till i find something better in the mean time. Plus i might get more hours you never know that's why i'm staying there.

It seems that i really do need to find a starting block for friends in my area, all the friends i have now i only get to talk to online or on the phone. Which isn't me, I like to meet people, i like to hangout, i like to go places.
I guess me, myself, and I in the real world just needs to go out more, but you just can't walk up to any random person and say hey anymore. The world has built it's self out of fear, lost, and hate. So since i don't have school right now as a starting point to make friends, then i will simply have work. If that doesn't work then oh well, at least i am still getting payed...

Ich bin das Tier. Ich bin böse. Ich bin das omen.

Well the best news all month is that my car is only gonna cost me 158 to fix, and i also need to buy some new spark plugs and gasket head repair kit. Now i would happen to get this when i am sick and feel like shit, but it's still good news. Hoping that i won't feel this bad come the weekend, cause that's when i get my car back ^^

so now i work one day a week and that's every saturday, and it's only maybe 6 or 7 hours >.>

^^ I really would like to curl up and fall asleep on someones chest :P

Well i have an insurance bill of 206 a month for a car i can't even drive cause there might be a gasket or even worse something cracked in the motor...even more so it will be going to the shop for a week...another bill i can't pay, and to top it off my hours have been cut so i doubt that i will even get to pay any of it...

well i have bought over a hundred dollars in parts now to fish a over heating problem i am hoping today that it will be fixed that way i can drive my car tomorrow after work.

Ok to start off my sisters insurance on the same as mine is only 97 fucking dollars, and she's totaled 2 FUCKING CARS!! why the fuck do i have to pay 206.25 a month and i have no tickets or wrecks, the most i've ever done is scratch the front bumper on the edge of a well i dunno what you'd call those small ass pull ins for the atm mechanics....This is fucking bullshit, i might as well shoot myself cause i have no fucking money which means no gas which means no car....fuck it all

Don't plan on me go to far cause i have to pay a 500 dollar deductible for my moms front fucking bumper cause i scratched it, No there is nothing wrong with the car and i did it when i was going to an atm at the regions bank....So now i have to pay her along with 200 dollars for the next 3months cause insurance right now is 100 plus i am paying off a 400 dollar doctor bill, and then i have my phone bill which is 60+ a month, and if that's not enough i am paying for the parts for my car which it needs new transmission fluid, an auto steering belt, fixing a leek of some sort, and a air compressor...

How much fucking fun, i hope i have enough for fucking gas for going back and forth to work...And i haven't been doing good at work, i mess up the order of things and i'm no good at the computer cause i don't know any of the fucking cuts for the dogs or any thing on the blade sizes....So it's only a matter of time before i get fired from there lucky me....

When i have a mate it seems like something always happens to separate us, and i have worked in the past to keep things going or to try to but i dunno. I mean i have plenty of time to go for someone and be happy. But, loneliness is what grips me which causes more problems. A pillow to hold tight at night doesn't replace the feelings of another. But the word love just seems to poison the mind and the body. You want to be close to someone but you can't for the emotions that cover your past, sanity to insanity and back to sanity. Happiness to sadness and back again.

Why do i seek what is lost? So i can find what needs to be found. What do i seek that needs to be found? I seek that which i have lost.

the riddle goes over and over in an everlasting cycle.

I usually like puzzles but this has been one that i can't solve, to date not to date. To date fur or not to date fur, where is the stable point that i need be at? Or is chaos the point where i should stay?

And when i do get into a relationship i try to make the other as happy as possible, i never complain if they do something i don't like, and i forgive them for everything. But, even that can be a very bad thing, cause then only more problem arise from it. I need to be more direct and open to things that others do, but i hate making others sad or making them hate me...

To life there is never an easy way to things, but i guess that's why it's life.

Alright this is for dating in or out of the fandom:

Is it more stressful to date in the fandom?

Does there tend to be more issuse that come up if you date within the fandom?

and finally...

Should you date in or out of the fandom?

Two question i thought up out of no where today when i was walking, and those are:

What is the difference between a friends with benefits and a boyfriend/mate?

And do long distance relationships actually work out any time or do they fail all the time?


Strange questions to pop into ones head when there out in the middle of no where XD but still ones i can't answer on my own with just what i have experienced..