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Posted 2 years agoSocials, posting, all the stuff
Posted 3 years agoHi everyone, been a while since my last journal - and it's a bit outdated as of now ;)
So, fun times with the blue bird right now. And while I have profiles on other social media websites, FA and Twitter will be my main outlet, along with my telegram channel.
BUT - never wrong to have more than one leg to stand on, so... have a few links!
twitter: https://twitter.com/xilvore
mastodon: https://meow.social/@xil#
itaku: https://itaku.ee/profile/xil
telegram channel: https://t.me/xilvore
Cohost is weird, I don't like it (and I can't post after 1.5 weeks...), so not going to wait for that (also, the website looks like it's from the 90s...)
Not leaving twitter, of course. As long as it's reasonable to use it, I will :)
That's all for now! Other websites I might have an account on, but I don't really use. ^^
So, fun times with the blue bird right now. And while I have profiles on other social media websites, FA and Twitter will be my main outlet, along with my telegram channel.
BUT - never wrong to have more than one leg to stand on, so... have a few links!
twitter: https://twitter.com/xilvore
mastodon: https://meow.social/@xil#
itaku: https://itaku.ee/profile/xil
telegram channel: https://t.me/xilvore
Cohost is weird, I don't like it (and I can't post after 1.5 weeks...), so not going to wait for that (also, the website looks like it's from the 90s...)
Not leaving twitter, of course. As long as it's reasonable to use it, I will :)
That's all for now! Other websites I might have an account on, but I don't really use. ^^
So, about my content here (recently)
Posted 3 years agoHello you lovely people!
I hope you've all been doing well! I feel I should replace the older journal, but I'm nonetheless super stoked that so many of you folks follow (and keep following) me <3 you have no idea how proud I am about this milestone, thank you so much!
Noooow to the content of this journal, regarding the title! I am _painfully_ aware that I haven't really drawn much lately. I have stuff in my pipeline that is in several different states (and I still owe people commissions, but I stay in regular contact with them - at least I hope so). However, as you have seen, I've been doing a lot of 3D stuff.
Promise, this will not stay the only content I upload. For me it is this "new adventurous island" that I just discovered. Making models for friends has been a blast, and putting things into motion was even more amazing at some point - because both were things I never thought I'd be able to! And I will keep making animations, such as the CV animation I made that just got some amazing audio by Jit.
But I promise that you will see my "drawings" again (if that's what you came here for). Not only because I still owe people stuff, but also because I still love drawing!
That being said - and I hope to not disappoint anyone - for the forseeable future, I will not open for commissions again. First and foremost because I want to finish what I owe. And then, after that, because I want to keep art as a hobby, not as a job. It feels much better doing things to relax than having another thing I have to work on!
Basically, everything will stay the same. I'll occasionally draw, model, animate, and mostly post the commissions and gifts other amazing artists drew for me! <3
======================
Skip this part if you don't want background rambling and life updates!
======================
To make use of this journal, I also wanna give a small update on the big "everything".
Since I changed my job and got away from my old toxic workplace, I've been much better. Busier, in a way, but less stressed and less down in the slopes (and therefore, less "cornered dog aggressive"). Of course, a job is a job, but I feel I made the right choice to move on and get away as far as possible from the old place. Of course I miss my friends there, but moving to a different country (germany to the netherlands) gave me the needed distance I needed from my old work for things to get better. Including some very telling "PTSD" moments I had after quitting that job. I had a few very ugly years with them - and I won't get into this, since this should be a positive journal!
Bottom line of this: I'm feeling _MUCH_ better already and I make healthier life choices for myself. Plus, I don't get younger, right? Geez, 34 years... This year, I'm 15 years on this website.
The 3D stuff has come from a "I don't just want a retextured model on VRC" to something I actively practice and try out new things. Which has lead to meeting a lot of new, amazing people and feeling super happy with my progress. And as I said above, it's more of a "new island to explore", which is why I have been putting my model to use in animations and still renderings like the things I posted lately (On twitter, I'm posting a lot more, btw). But it's not going to stay my "only thing"!
One issue I have with drawing, however, is that my tablet is showing its age. I draw on a surface-like lenovo tablet, which was/is amazing to work with/on, but since it's lenovo, it quickly lost support from the manufacturer. Means, as it has a proprietary pen, once that one breaks I will not be able to get a replacement and the tablet is pretty much done for. It still works for now, but I'm mentally preparing for having to replace it. Nowadays, every time I start this thing up, I hope the pen will still work. :D
Therefore my question to you creative folks - what hardware do you have good experiences with? I'm looking for a mobile PC/Tablet hybrid with a pressure sensitive pen. To my knowledge, the only two options at the moment would be a microsoft surface with pen or an apple iPad Pro with pencil. Any other idea?
I'm not completely excluding the iPad at the moment (since a few friends of mine have it, and it feels AMAZING to draw on that thing), but I would like to have an actual PC running in the background, where I could also install any other program I want to work with (blender, substance, steam stuff,...).
Anywho! I hope all of you have an amazing weekend! I can't wait to attend cons again later this year, hopefully I'll get to meet some of you there! My suit needs more airing, it starts to get smelly. ... While that might just be on character. (j/k, I wash it lots and take good care of it!)
That's all for now!
Thanks for reading!
Xil
I hope you've all been doing well! I feel I should replace the older journal, but I'm nonetheless super stoked that so many of you folks follow (and keep following) me <3 you have no idea how proud I am about this milestone, thank you so much!
Noooow to the content of this journal, regarding the title! I am _painfully_ aware that I haven't really drawn much lately. I have stuff in my pipeline that is in several different states (and I still owe people commissions, but I stay in regular contact with them - at least I hope so). However, as you have seen, I've been doing a lot of 3D stuff.
Promise, this will not stay the only content I upload. For me it is this "new adventurous island" that I just discovered. Making models for friends has been a blast, and putting things into motion was even more amazing at some point - because both were things I never thought I'd be able to! And I will keep making animations, such as the CV animation I made that just got some amazing audio by Jit.
But I promise that you will see my "drawings" again (if that's what you came here for). Not only because I still owe people stuff, but also because I still love drawing!
That being said - and I hope to not disappoint anyone - for the forseeable future, I will not open for commissions again. First and foremost because I want to finish what I owe. And then, after that, because I want to keep art as a hobby, not as a job. It feels much better doing things to relax than having another thing I have to work on!
Basically, everything will stay the same. I'll occasionally draw, model, animate, and mostly post the commissions and gifts other amazing artists drew for me! <3
======================
Skip this part if you don't want background rambling and life updates!
======================
To make use of this journal, I also wanna give a small update on the big "everything".
Since I changed my job and got away from my old toxic workplace, I've been much better. Busier, in a way, but less stressed and less down in the slopes (and therefore, less "cornered dog aggressive"). Of course, a job is a job, but I feel I made the right choice to move on and get away as far as possible from the old place. Of course I miss my friends there, but moving to a different country (germany to the netherlands) gave me the needed distance I needed from my old work for things to get better. Including some very telling "PTSD" moments I had after quitting that job. I had a few very ugly years with them - and I won't get into this, since this should be a positive journal!
Bottom line of this: I'm feeling _MUCH_ better already and I make healthier life choices for myself. Plus, I don't get younger, right? Geez, 34 years... This year, I'm 15 years on this website.
The 3D stuff has come from a "I don't just want a retextured model on VRC" to something I actively practice and try out new things. Which has lead to meeting a lot of new, amazing people and feeling super happy with my progress. And as I said above, it's more of a "new island to explore", which is why I have been putting my model to use in animations and still renderings like the things I posted lately (On twitter, I'm posting a lot more, btw). But it's not going to stay my "only thing"!
One issue I have with drawing, however, is that my tablet is showing its age. I draw on a surface-like lenovo tablet, which was/is amazing to work with/on, but since it's lenovo, it quickly lost support from the manufacturer. Means, as it has a proprietary pen, once that one breaks I will not be able to get a replacement and the tablet is pretty much done for. It still works for now, but I'm mentally preparing for having to replace it. Nowadays, every time I start this thing up, I hope the pen will still work. :D
Therefore my question to you creative folks - what hardware do you have good experiences with? I'm looking for a mobile PC/Tablet hybrid with a pressure sensitive pen. To my knowledge, the only two options at the moment would be a microsoft surface with pen or an apple iPad Pro with pencil. Any other idea?
I'm not completely excluding the iPad at the moment (since a few friends of mine have it, and it feels AMAZING to draw on that thing), but I would like to have an actual PC running in the background, where I could also install any other program I want to work with (blender, substance, steam stuff,...).
Anywho! I hope all of you have an amazing weekend! I can't wait to attend cons again later this year, hopefully I'll get to meet some of you there! My suit needs more airing, it starts to get smelly. ... While that might just be on character. (j/k, I wash it lots and take good care of it!)
That's all for now!
Thanks for reading!
Xil
5000??? WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?
Posted 4 years agoDAMN how did I not realize I passed 5000 watches here ;_; AAAA Thank you so much folks, this means a lot!!! I am so glad you enjoy my silly content here, I appreciate every single one of you!!!
At one point I need to make a raffle or something, once I got all my commissions nailed down! Again - thank you so much! I love all of you! <3
At one point I need to make a raffle or something, once I got all my commissions nailed down! Again - thank you so much! I love all of you! <3
Comments!
Posted 4 years agoWow, the old journal was a year old!
And what a year it was!
I moved, changed jobs, town and countries and then some! THings have been super exciting on my end, and everything has gone for the better finally!
But what I want to mention are comments: I LOVE COMMENTS - I'm just very bad at answering them! I usually let them pile up and then one day realize that I have never answered these comments - and then do that whole thing in a bulk!
Please don't think I don't appreciate comments, I love them! just don't be weirded out if I suddenly respond to a comment under a submission that was posted a month - or longer - ago!
That's all!
Love you all <3
Xil
And what a year it was!
I moved, changed jobs, town and countries and then some! THings have been super exciting on my end, and everything has gone for the better finally!
But what I want to mention are comments: I LOVE COMMENTS - I'm just very bad at answering them! I usually let them pile up and then one day realize that I have never answered these comments - and then do that whole thing in a bulk!
Please don't think I don't appreciate comments, I love them! just don't be weirded out if I suddenly respond to a comment under a submission that was posted a month - or longer - ago!
That's all!
Love you all <3
Xil
More 3D Stuff coming!
Posted 5 years agoSome of you might have seen it already - I got into creating 3D models over the past few weeks, and I just got my first avatar commission to a presentable level! I have a lot of fun doing this, so you might see some more 3D works on this account sooner or later! Maybe I even do animations one day (if I ever figure out how to... you know... insert one character into another. Ahem.
Anyway! Stay safe everyone!
Anyway! Stay safe everyone!
Pillowfort account!
Posted 5 years agoI dunno what to think of that site, but I got a chance to be on it! So if you want, follow me there!
https://www.pillowfort.social/Xil
https://www.pillowfort.social/Xil
Network hardware issue
Posted 5 years agoHey folks.
I'm currently experiencing some hardware based (?) PC problems here, maybe someone knows about this BS?
It's a network/internet problem. My PC refuses to take the full possible speed of my network, limiting it to 25 MBit/s or slightly more, no matter which way I connect (network or wireless), whereas my laptop/drawing pad does the full speed over wireless network (150 Mbit) regarding my internet access. Even my XBO gets better speed than my gaming pc.
I already tried everything windows-based, as in updating drivers, running optimized settings (including updating some registry keys) and even bought an additional external wireless adapter (USB) for testing. Both, my laptop and my PC - with the wifi adapter - connect via 5GHz. But the PC simply doesn't go anywhere close to what almost all other devices in my network are doing.
When connecting via LAN-Cable, windows also tells me that it's a 1Gbit connection.
The same issue happens when I boot up Linux on my PC and do the same tests, so I definitely think it's a hardware issue, but I can't see any option within the BIOS Setup of my mainboard. See additional informations below:
CPU: Ryzen 5 2400G
PSU: 450 Watts (Should be enough for this?)
Mainboard: Gigabyte B450M S2H with 1Gbit Network, BIOS Updated to the most current version.
LAN connected via cat.7 Network cable, router capable of 1Gbit connection.
Storage: 512GB Samsung SSD
RAM: 16 GB whatever brand.
Graphics shouldn't matter, but still: RTX 2070
And yes, I tried turning it off and on again ;)
Thanks!
I'm currently experiencing some hardware based (?) PC problems here, maybe someone knows about this BS?
It's a network/internet problem. My PC refuses to take the full possible speed of my network, limiting it to 25 MBit/s or slightly more, no matter which way I connect (network or wireless), whereas my laptop/drawing pad does the full speed over wireless network (150 Mbit) regarding my internet access. Even my XBO gets better speed than my gaming pc.
I already tried everything windows-based, as in updating drivers, running optimized settings (including updating some registry keys) and even bought an additional external wireless adapter (USB) for testing. Both, my laptop and my PC - with the wifi adapter - connect via 5GHz. But the PC simply doesn't go anywhere close to what almost all other devices in my network are doing.
When connecting via LAN-Cable, windows also tells me that it's a 1Gbit connection.
The same issue happens when I boot up Linux on my PC and do the same tests, so I definitely think it's a hardware issue, but I can't see any option within the BIOS Setup of my mainboard. See additional informations below:
CPU: Ryzen 5 2400G
PSU: 450 Watts (Should be enough for this?)
Mainboard: Gigabyte B450M S2H with 1Gbit Network, BIOS Updated to the most current version.
LAN connected via cat.7 Network cable, router capable of 1Gbit connection.
Storage: 512GB Samsung SSD
RAM: 16 GB whatever brand.
Graphics shouldn't matter, but still: RTX 2070
And yes, I tried turning it off and on again ;)
Thanks!
Impersonator on Instagram
Posted 5 years agoSomeone told me that there is someone impersonating me on Instagram. A locked profile. As I am not on Instagram, I'd like to ask you guys to report this €@&?#!_&, not just for me but also out of respect for the artists this scum has taken art from.
https://www.instagram.com/xilver_vore/
Also, a reminder: I am only active on twitter (@xilwuff and @xilvore) and here. Not YouTube and not Facebook.
Thanks.
https://www.instagram.com/xilver_vore/
Also, a reminder: I am only active on twitter (@xilwuff and @xilvore) and here. Not YouTube and not Facebook.
Thanks.
Doing the twitch thing now!
Posted 6 years agoYeah I'm very late to the party, but I brought some snacks at least!
All I'm saying is - I'm streaming things to twitch now, as you might have noticed when I put up some submissions for the past few days!
I already got far enough to become an affiliate member (Wooo!) and I'm having TONS of fun with it.
Mainly I'm going to stream games there, but definitely not any battle royale or pay2win games (like PUBG, fortnite, Apex Legends or LoL) - and also probably some graphics stuff, like blender, affinity designer or simply drawing (but as porn isn't allowed on twitch, I might just leave the drawing part to picarto!).
The main reason why I started streaming is the wonderful Facerig wolf model done by
mnty that he put on steam workshop, along with everything I needed to re-texture it into quite the good representation of Xil! And it's SO much fun to just see my wuff-self talking and responding to people in the chat while casually playing a game... or not playing at all and just hanging out!
Thanks to everyone who joined and followed so far - I wouldn't have thought that streaming might actually be fun for me, but it definitely is! And I already ordered a HDMI Capture device so I can stream some switch or XBO games sometimes!
So, finally, here's my channel: https://www.twitch.tv/xilwuff
Games I'm currently playing:
- Satisfactory (Experimental Builds)
- PC Building Simulator (Actualyl forcing myself to because I paid money for it)
- Beat Saber (if I get it to run right, haven't tried streaming it yet)
I'm very open for suggestions what to play, feel free to drop me a comment here or in my suggestions box on my twitch channel!
I hope to see you guys there, can't wait to show you my twitching ears on twitch!
Xil
All I'm saying is - I'm streaming things to twitch now, as you might have noticed when I put up some submissions for the past few days!
I already got far enough to become an affiliate member (Wooo!) and I'm having TONS of fun with it.
Mainly I'm going to stream games there, but definitely not any battle royale or pay2win games (like PUBG, fortnite, Apex Legends or LoL) - and also probably some graphics stuff, like blender, affinity designer or simply drawing (but as porn isn't allowed on twitch, I might just leave the drawing part to picarto!).
The main reason why I started streaming is the wonderful Facerig wolf model done by
mnty that he put on steam workshop, along with everything I needed to re-texture it into quite the good representation of Xil! And it's SO much fun to just see my wuff-self talking and responding to people in the chat while casually playing a game... or not playing at all and just hanging out!Thanks to everyone who joined and followed so far - I wouldn't have thought that streaming might actually be fun for me, but it definitely is! And I already ordered a HDMI Capture device so I can stream some switch or XBO games sometimes!
So, finally, here's my channel: https://www.twitch.tv/xilwuff
Games I'm currently playing:
- Satisfactory (Experimental Builds)
- PC Building Simulator (Actualyl forcing myself to because I paid money for it)
- Beat Saber (if I get it to run right, haven't tried streaming it yet)
I'm very open for suggestions what to play, feel free to drop me a comment here or in my suggestions box on my twitch channel!
I hope to see you guys there, can't wait to show you my twitching ears on twitch!
Xil
On the last journal
Posted 6 years agoHey folks,
I just wanted to say thank you for all the warm comments, messages and notes I got over the latest journal. I was really hesitant to share personal health stuff because it's kind of dragging real life where it doesn't belong. Of course, within those 9 days, nothing really changed, but I made up my mind and will actively approach the problem by talking to my boss about it and get to another specialist in another town, ditching those doctors that treat me like a piece of meat all the time.
I'm not sure when, how or even if my situation is going to change, but all those warm and understanding messages I got showed me that it was the right choice to make those problems I'm dealing with public.
Thank you so much! Love you all <3
Xil
I just wanted to say thank you for all the warm comments, messages and notes I got over the latest journal. I was really hesitant to share personal health stuff because it's kind of dragging real life where it doesn't belong. Of course, within those 9 days, nothing really changed, but I made up my mind and will actively approach the problem by talking to my boss about it and get to another specialist in another town, ditching those doctors that treat me like a piece of meat all the time.
I'm not sure when, how or even if my situation is going to change, but all those warm and understanding messages I got showed me that it was the right choice to make those problems I'm dealing with public.
Thank you so much! Love you all <3
Xil
Time for some Realtalk (health stuff)
Posted 6 years agoI'm still thinking of a good way to start this journal as I write this, but I probably will just dive right into it now. This is going to be a bit of a "misery" journal, even if I don't really feel comfortable with sharing those details, I kind of feel the need to write them down because I'm really not feeling well at the moment.
I don't know if anyone will actually read this, but feel free to leave any comment under this journal.
One thing first: I'm happy with my art and my stuff that I draw. I finally managed to get the YCH done that I've been terribly neglecting for the past two years, and I'm happy and lucky that people still liked it even if it is probably the most ashaming picture for me - because I took so long to finish it.
But now for the real deal of this journal: my health.
As some of you might know, I've been "blessed" with kidney problems for years now. It all started on one wonderful evening when I was out with friends and went into the bathroom of a club after a lot of walking. I will not go into detail, but that was probably the worst visit to the bathroom I ever had. I went home in panic - and of course, as it was a saturday night, I had no other option than going to the hospital the next day.
The hospital, though, didn't really treat me in any way. I went there, telling them about the bathroom incident. They ran a test, saying "yep, there's blood in there. Go to the doctor sometimes next week, bye". No treatment, no "don't worry", simply saying what I already knew. This was more than 6 years ago now. The result: Kidney Stones. So I'm probably a bit lucky there. I had taken care of them in a nearby hospital for several days. I was studying back then, so that wasn't much of a problem. I was (mostly) fine after that, but sadly that was not the end.
It turns out that my kidneys have a bad habit of forming stones out of, practically, everything. A change of my diet (no vore jokes here, please) didn't help, becaue it just changed the initial material the stones were - and are - made of.
Since those first stones got removed, I went to the hospital 2 more times - roughly every two years. I get to get them blasted, and it's always a painful and humiliating experience. I love my new hometown, but the hospital here is... shit. So are most of the doctors - which is funny because my hometown is one of the top-notch towns for studying medicine. But that's not the point and I won't go further into that.
All in all, my kidneys took damage from being constantly irritated by the stones forming inside. The damage, according to the doctors, isn't big enough to put me in actual danger - yet. Yet. How I loved it when they said that. So what, it might happen in the future? When? And what will happen?
They didn't tell me, saying "you better come to check ups every 4 months, then we can see what happens."
Let me tell you... I was freaking out. I don't know what's going on in my body, and due to my job, I don't have the time to go to another town to see another doctor about it. Because there is no other doctor in my hometown that specializes in these things. So I'm stuck with "yeah we won't tell you" and "let's see in 4 months". This was roughly a year ago, and they didn't even tell me how my kidneys are holding up. Just "okay, results are in, see you in 4 months". Which might be the right thing to do, but I would like to have a LITTLE more information about it. Will I need dialysis? Do I need to go into surgery, change my diet again, do I even need replacement? Noone tells me, even if I ask. "If there is something that needs to be taken care of, we will call you". ... Thanks.
In the meantime, I started wearing a kidney belt to protect them from getting cold. And to keep them warm. It helps a little, but looks and feels like shit.
The biggest problem for me, though, is not the anxiety or the way I'm treated. It is how this bullshit is affecting my mood. The almost constant pain I have in my lower back - because I apparently also do have back problems now which may or may not be kidney-related (yay). I can't sit, stand or sit right anymore. Doctors say that it comes from inflammations, and me trying to go into relieving posture - sorry, what am I supposed to do if I am in pain? Of course I try to get into a position where I feel better, for fuck's sake! I don't want to destroy the last bit of my kidneys with swallowing painkillers like m&ms!
This whole stuff has pretty much taken over my life. This fucking pain and irritation, mood-drops because of it, constant anxieties about my health because my body keeps reminding me that it's not in a good condition. I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat, but it's getting harder and harder. And my job doesn't make it any better, doing it's fair share on my bad overall mood aswell. And then there is my almost non-existent private life, which is a mess on it's own but not something I openly want to talk about.
I'm sorry and I apologize to everyone who I was angry or upset with lately. I really don't mean it. I'm trying my best to get back on track and be more of a source of happiness and joy to people, but I can't deal with stress and emotional problems well at the moment. I'm trying my best and hardest to get better. Just please bear with me.
Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: Constant pain and shit happening in my life makes me a salty old german. Sorry for that.
Xil.
I don't know if anyone will actually read this, but feel free to leave any comment under this journal.
One thing first: I'm happy with my art and my stuff that I draw. I finally managed to get the YCH done that I've been terribly neglecting for the past two years, and I'm happy and lucky that people still liked it even if it is probably the most ashaming picture for me - because I took so long to finish it.
But now for the real deal of this journal: my health.
As some of you might know, I've been "blessed" with kidney problems for years now. It all started on one wonderful evening when I was out with friends and went into the bathroom of a club after a lot of walking. I will not go into detail, but that was probably the worst visit to the bathroom I ever had. I went home in panic - and of course, as it was a saturday night, I had no other option than going to the hospital the next day.
The hospital, though, didn't really treat me in any way. I went there, telling them about the bathroom incident. They ran a test, saying "yep, there's blood in there. Go to the doctor sometimes next week, bye". No treatment, no "don't worry", simply saying what I already knew. This was more than 6 years ago now. The result: Kidney Stones. So I'm probably a bit lucky there. I had taken care of them in a nearby hospital for several days. I was studying back then, so that wasn't much of a problem. I was (mostly) fine after that, but sadly that was not the end.
It turns out that my kidneys have a bad habit of forming stones out of, practically, everything. A change of my diet (no vore jokes here, please) didn't help, becaue it just changed the initial material the stones were - and are - made of.
Since those first stones got removed, I went to the hospital 2 more times - roughly every two years. I get to get them blasted, and it's always a painful and humiliating experience. I love my new hometown, but the hospital here is... shit. So are most of the doctors - which is funny because my hometown is one of the top-notch towns for studying medicine. But that's not the point and I won't go further into that.
All in all, my kidneys took damage from being constantly irritated by the stones forming inside. The damage, according to the doctors, isn't big enough to put me in actual danger - yet. Yet. How I loved it when they said that. So what, it might happen in the future? When? And what will happen?
They didn't tell me, saying "you better come to check ups every 4 months, then we can see what happens."
Let me tell you... I was freaking out. I don't know what's going on in my body, and due to my job, I don't have the time to go to another town to see another doctor about it. Because there is no other doctor in my hometown that specializes in these things. So I'm stuck with "yeah we won't tell you" and "let's see in 4 months". This was roughly a year ago, and they didn't even tell me how my kidneys are holding up. Just "okay, results are in, see you in 4 months". Which might be the right thing to do, but I would like to have a LITTLE more information about it. Will I need dialysis? Do I need to go into surgery, change my diet again, do I even need replacement? Noone tells me, even if I ask. "If there is something that needs to be taken care of, we will call you". ... Thanks.
In the meantime, I started wearing a kidney belt to protect them from getting cold. And to keep them warm. It helps a little, but looks and feels like shit.
The biggest problem for me, though, is not the anxiety or the way I'm treated. It is how this bullshit is affecting my mood. The almost constant pain I have in my lower back - because I apparently also do have back problems now which may or may not be kidney-related (yay). I can't sit, stand or sit right anymore. Doctors say that it comes from inflammations, and me trying to go into relieving posture - sorry, what am I supposed to do if I am in pain? Of course I try to get into a position where I feel better, for fuck's sake! I don't want to destroy the last bit of my kidneys with swallowing painkillers like m&ms!
This whole stuff has pretty much taken over my life. This fucking pain and irritation, mood-drops because of it, constant anxieties about my health because my body keeps reminding me that it's not in a good condition. I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat, but it's getting harder and harder. And my job doesn't make it any better, doing it's fair share on my bad overall mood aswell. And then there is my almost non-existent private life, which is a mess on it's own but not something I openly want to talk about.
I'm sorry and I apologize to everyone who I was angry or upset with lately. I really don't mean it. I'm trying my best to get back on track and be more of a source of happiness and joy to people, but I can't deal with stress and emotional problems well at the moment. I'm trying my best and hardest to get better. Just please bear with me.
Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: Constant pain and shit happening in my life makes me a salty old german. Sorry for that.
Xil.
EF 2019 Meme!
Posted 6 years agoWhere are you staying?
Main Hotel
Means of transportation?
Drivin up there by car!
Sharing a room with:
With
huttser-coyote and 
brobear10
What is your gender?
Male
How old are you?
31... oh gosh I'm old
How tall are you?
Hmm... 1.85m and roughly 2m in suit (including ears!)
Which languages do you speak?
German and english
Where will you be most of the time during the day?
I hope to suit a lot, but if it's too hot, I will roam the convention
Who will you be with?
All the lovely friends I have there plus hopefully a few new people!
Do you do free art?
I'm afraid not
Do you do trades?
Maybe? I'm not really sure if I should, tho!
Do you do commissions?
I will accept polygon badge commissions for sure, and I will also be able to print them out right at the con!
What suit(s) will you have?
That would be... me!
Can I dance with you?
When I'm in suit and drunk enough... sure!
Can I touch you?
Ask. Please.
Can I talk to you?
Of course!!!
Can I hug you?
ONLY when you ask first, AND CERTAINLY NOT FROM BEHIND WHEN I'M IN SUIT!!!
Can I take photos of you/with you?
ONLY IF I GET THEM AFTERWARDS!!! (THEN YES PLEASE!!)
Can I buy you lots of drinks?
Lots and lots and lots!
Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
Of course I drink alcohol. But smoke? BIG nope!
Can I give you lots of money?
I do not understand how this question remains in this meme... so I guess yes?
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
That would require that I know you and that you asked first
Can we hang out?
For sure! If I have time!
Are you nice?
I'm a big bad wolf, so... probably?
Other cons you may go to?
I went to NFC and CFz this year already, I don't think I will be able to attend another one
Attending any panels?
Not sure yet! But when I do, it will be in suit for sure!
How can I find you at the con?
Probably in the Artist lounge or you simply look for my suit or badge!
Can we go out for a dinner?
I accept Schnitzel, Döner, McDonalds and Chinese!
Are you buying art?
Who knows? If I find some good stuff, I should!
What do I have to watch out for, when I am meeting you?
I MIGHT EAT YOU!
(But seriously... I have almost zero eyesight in suit AND I will not hear much when I'm in there, so PLEASE approach me directly and from the front!)
What is the best way to contact you?
Here or Twitter (@xilwuff or @xilvore)
May I kidnap you to my room?
I mean... what?
You look pretty tired, are you ok?
It's okay to be tired! But certainly, yes, I am.
Last time/last con/last meet/last chat we talked so much and now you forgot my name? Why???
Because I totally do this on purpose to hurt your feelings ;) (seriously, I'm sorry if I forgot you, just refresh my memory!)
Will you tell me your room number and can I surprise visit you?
MOST LIKELY not.
I have a personal question for the convention. May I ask you that?
I will probably not be able to answer, so it's best to not ask me at all. ;)
(stole this from
Mestiso !
Main Hotel
Means of transportation?
Drivin up there by car!
Sharing a room with:
With
huttser-coyote and 
brobear10What is your gender?
Male
How old are you?
31... oh gosh I'm old
How tall are you?
Hmm... 1.85m and roughly 2m in suit (including ears!)
Which languages do you speak?
German and english
Where will you be most of the time during the day?
I hope to suit a lot, but if it's too hot, I will roam the convention
Who will you be with?
All the lovely friends I have there plus hopefully a few new people!
Do you do free art?
I'm afraid not
Do you do trades?
Maybe? I'm not really sure if I should, tho!
Do you do commissions?
I will accept polygon badge commissions for sure, and I will also be able to print them out right at the con!
What suit(s) will you have?
That would be... me!
Can I dance with you?
When I'm in suit and drunk enough... sure!
Can I touch you?
Ask. Please.
Can I talk to you?
Of course!!!
Can I hug you?
ONLY when you ask first, AND CERTAINLY NOT FROM BEHIND WHEN I'M IN SUIT!!!
Can I take photos of you/with you?
ONLY IF I GET THEM AFTERWARDS!!! (THEN YES PLEASE!!)
Can I buy you lots of drinks?
Lots and lots and lots!
Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
Of course I drink alcohol. But smoke? BIG nope!
Can I give you lots of money?
I do not understand how this question remains in this meme... so I guess yes?
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
That would require that I know you and that you asked first
Can we hang out?
For sure! If I have time!
Are you nice?
I'm a big bad wolf, so... probably?
Other cons you may go to?
I went to NFC and CFz this year already, I don't think I will be able to attend another one
Attending any panels?
Not sure yet! But when I do, it will be in suit for sure!
How can I find you at the con?
Probably in the Artist lounge or you simply look for my suit or badge!
Can we go out for a dinner?
I accept Schnitzel, Döner, McDonalds and Chinese!
Are you buying art?
Who knows? If I find some good stuff, I should!
What do I have to watch out for, when I am meeting you?
I MIGHT EAT YOU!
(But seriously... I have almost zero eyesight in suit AND I will not hear much when I'm in there, so PLEASE approach me directly and from the front!)
What is the best way to contact you?
Here or Twitter (@xilwuff or @xilvore)
May I kidnap you to my room?
I mean... what?
You look pretty tired, are you ok?
It's okay to be tired! But certainly, yes, I am.
Last time/last con/last meet/last chat we talked so much and now you forgot my name? Why???
Because I totally do this on purpose to hurt your feelings ;) (seriously, I'm sorry if I forgot you, just refresh my memory!)
Will you tell me your room number and can I surprise visit you?
MOST LIKELY not.
I have a personal question for the convention. May I ask you that?
I will probably not be able to answer, so it's best to not ask me at all. ;)
(stole this from
Mestiso !Update on commissions and YCH
Posted 6 years agoHey folks,
just a little update on the remaining commissions and the YCH I have been lacking of updates lately.
First of all, I'm very very sorry that I didn't deliver those yet. I'm trying to work as good as I can on everything, but as work has been grinding me, my freetime and everything lately, I hardly find the time and motivation to draw. I promise that I will finish the art I owe to people as soon as I can, and all I can do now is hope that you guys keep being patient with me. I'm very, very sorry. Just give me a bit more time.
Thanks, and have a good time! I'll get back to you soon!
Xil
just a little update on the remaining commissions and the YCH I have been lacking of updates lately.
First of all, I'm very very sorry that I didn't deliver those yet. I'm trying to work as good as I can on everything, but as work has been grinding me, my freetime and everything lately, I hardly find the time and motivation to draw. I promise that I will finish the art I owe to people as soon as I can, and all I can do now is hope that you guys keep being patient with me. I'm very, very sorry. Just give me a bit more time.
Thanks, and have a good time! I'll get back to you soon!
Xil
Back from EF & STUFF
Posted 7 years agoSo, lately I wish the day simply had 30 hours or more, so I could get all my stuff finally done, geez!
I am back home from EF! Technically since monday, but I was able to spend time with a very dear friend for the rest of the week - hence why I wasn't really "online" at all.
EF was a blast, like every year. I met a lot of old and definitely a lot of new friends, including some people I always wanted to meet but never had the chance to. Also, I finally got the remaining parts for my fullsuit and tried to spend as much time as possible going around in the new floof - and it was super nice!
This all had a downside tho. I was _f*cking_ busy all through the con. Literally every hour of this year's EF was somehow planned. I didn't even find time to go to the artist lounge and draw - which was the thing I enjoyed most during previous' EF.
Even if I had 2 days more this time, it feels like I didn't do anything the way I wanted to. Also because Concrud already hit me on thursday and completely fucked me up.
Which leads me to a sad truth I have to accept - I let a lot of people down. And I feel crap about it. Some people were really keen to see me (and I was just as keen to mee them) but were only able to catch me short in my room when I was finishing some badges for people. Others I wasn't even able to meet at all, even if we planned to do so all the time.
I hate this feeling, it makes me feel guilty. And even if I - and others - know how things go, it still leaves a very bad taste in my mouth that I let them down.
But I can't change it. I literally passed out every night because I couldn't get enough sleep each day, because from 8 AM til 3 AM the next day, I was 100% busy. And the bit of not-planned-time I had, I ran around and tried to meet up with people I hadn't seen yet.
But - enough whining. I need to work on scheduling things better, that's a fact.
To everyone who was giving me the pleasure to hang out with them - a big thank you to you, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!
To everyone who I wasn't able to hang out with or just had too little time - I'm sorry and I will make up for it, be sure about that!
A last thank you goes to my roommate
ollister for... well, being my roommate! <3
Expect photos soon!
Xil~
I am back home from EF! Technically since monday, but I was able to spend time with a very dear friend for the rest of the week - hence why I wasn't really "online" at all.
EF was a blast, like every year. I met a lot of old and definitely a lot of new friends, including some people I always wanted to meet but never had the chance to. Also, I finally got the remaining parts for my fullsuit and tried to spend as much time as possible going around in the new floof - and it was super nice!
This all had a downside tho. I was _f*cking_ busy all through the con. Literally every hour of this year's EF was somehow planned. I didn't even find time to go to the artist lounge and draw - which was the thing I enjoyed most during previous' EF.
Even if I had 2 days more this time, it feels like I didn't do anything the way I wanted to. Also because Concrud already hit me on thursday and completely fucked me up.
Which leads me to a sad truth I have to accept - I let a lot of people down. And I feel crap about it. Some people were really keen to see me (and I was just as keen to mee them) but were only able to catch me short in my room when I was finishing some badges for people. Others I wasn't even able to meet at all, even if we planned to do so all the time.
I hate this feeling, it makes me feel guilty. And even if I - and others - know how things go, it still leaves a very bad taste in my mouth that I let them down.
But I can't change it. I literally passed out every night because I couldn't get enough sleep each day, because from 8 AM til 3 AM the next day, I was 100% busy. And the bit of not-planned-time I had, I ran around and tried to meet up with people I hadn't seen yet.
But - enough whining. I need to work on scheduling things better, that's a fact.
To everyone who was giving me the pleasure to hang out with them - a big thank you to you, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!
To everyone who I wasn't able to hang out with or just had too little time - I'm sorry and I will make up for it, be sure about that!
A last thank you goes to my roommate
ollister for... well, being my roommate! <3Expect photos soon!
Xil~
Life update - finally moved
Posted 7 years agoHello everyone!
If you follow my twitter, you surely saw me whining and growling about my flat situation - or rather the situation with the house which was getting worse day after day.
If not, let me sum it up:
I lived above a pub in a very small apartment for over three years. As I was working a lot, things were alright - at least for the size of the room I had. I never wanted to stay there, but the town I'm living in is frequented by students a lot, so all affordable rooms and apartments are gone with the blink of an eye.
I never had an issue with the noise from the pub below my flat. In fact, I didn't care and I knew it when I moved in. But the side effects were worse than I would have ever imagined. People started thrashing the place almost every evening, knocking tables and chairs over, or slamming their fists against the wall. Last year, new patrons came in who were YELLING all the time. And they were there every evening. Plus I had to step over puke ever so often, and one time I had a drunk patron in the hallway, slamming his fist against my door because he SOMEHOW thought my flat was the rear entrance to the pub... on the floor ABOVE the pub... ... yeah. Drunk people. I found out he was thrown out of the pub before because he vandalized stuff.
Anyway - not only the pub got worse over time - also the condition of the house itself. The owner apparently doesn't give a shit about it, doing only what's absolutely neccessary. I had water issues, heating issues, power issues... a lot of issues.
My apartment was "sub-rented", because it was part of the pub as the "owner's room". So my landlord wasn't the owner of the house, but the owner of the pub. Means: if the pub closes or is sold, there was a possibility that they would tell me to leave. Thankfully in germany we have laws protecting me to a certain degree, but still. This was stressing me out like fuck. And mid may, shit hit the fan. My landlord - or rather landlady called me, telling me that they will close the pub by the end of the month due to water damage. Apparently, the condition of the house was so bad that, whenever it rained, water was getting into the walls and flooded the pub's kitchen.
Long story short: the pub closed down, but I was allowed to stay. For the time being. So I had to find a new apartment as fast as I could. Thankfully I had one pretty fast, even if the rent is a LOT more. And this place was available in august - roughly 3 months later.
From the day the pub closed, the real hassle began. The owner sent construction workers into the former pub - and they literally teared the whole place down. Every wall, every furniture - it was awful and loud. My room was shaking so much that it knocked stuff off my table, and I actually feared for the house to actually be torn down because of the dumbness of some construction workers.
During that time, I didn't have water ever so often, power outages, no internet... it was a mess. Having no water for days really fucked me up.
But that was the last month I was in that apartment. A week ago, I moved into my new apartment, which is much more spacious and in a much better condition. The move was rough, as we had temperatures around 38°C that day. But I managed to get my stuff out of the old room. But again I had no luck: the new apartment wasn't finished. I had to put all my stuff into the only room that was already done - the bedroom. So I had my bed in this room, and basically all my stuff - while most of my furnitures were stored in the apartment of a good friend.
Three days later after I moved in, construction was finished aswell. But work still happens, and with the current temperatures, I am not really able to do much more than the barely needed stuff, like washing dishes and cooking.
But I'm already feeling a lot better. The old room was making me sick and stressed out, and even if the move isn't done yet (and probably won't be for another week) , I can already feel my energy coming back. I can't wait to have my table set up properly so I can finally tackle all the remaining commissions that I really need to get done.
My deepest thanks goes to everyone who is patient with me. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you guys understand my situation and hopefully accept my apology that things take much longer at the moment. Also a big thank you to my neighbor who lets me store my stuff in his flat while he isn't there. And a biiiig thank you to everyone who has been supportive and helpful within the past weeks.
I love you all!
Cheers,
Xil
If you follow my twitter, you surely saw me whining and growling about my flat situation - or rather the situation with the house which was getting worse day after day.
If not, let me sum it up:
I lived above a pub in a very small apartment for over three years. As I was working a lot, things were alright - at least for the size of the room I had. I never wanted to stay there, but the town I'm living in is frequented by students a lot, so all affordable rooms and apartments are gone with the blink of an eye.
I never had an issue with the noise from the pub below my flat. In fact, I didn't care and I knew it when I moved in. But the side effects were worse than I would have ever imagined. People started thrashing the place almost every evening, knocking tables and chairs over, or slamming their fists against the wall. Last year, new patrons came in who were YELLING all the time. And they were there every evening. Plus I had to step over puke ever so often, and one time I had a drunk patron in the hallway, slamming his fist against my door because he SOMEHOW thought my flat was the rear entrance to the pub... on the floor ABOVE the pub... ... yeah. Drunk people. I found out he was thrown out of the pub before because he vandalized stuff.
Anyway - not only the pub got worse over time - also the condition of the house itself. The owner apparently doesn't give a shit about it, doing only what's absolutely neccessary. I had water issues, heating issues, power issues... a lot of issues.
My apartment was "sub-rented", because it was part of the pub as the "owner's room". So my landlord wasn't the owner of the house, but the owner of the pub. Means: if the pub closes or is sold, there was a possibility that they would tell me to leave. Thankfully in germany we have laws protecting me to a certain degree, but still. This was stressing me out like fuck. And mid may, shit hit the fan. My landlord - or rather landlady called me, telling me that they will close the pub by the end of the month due to water damage. Apparently, the condition of the house was so bad that, whenever it rained, water was getting into the walls and flooded the pub's kitchen.
Long story short: the pub closed down, but I was allowed to stay. For the time being. So I had to find a new apartment as fast as I could. Thankfully I had one pretty fast, even if the rent is a LOT more. And this place was available in august - roughly 3 months later.
From the day the pub closed, the real hassle began. The owner sent construction workers into the former pub - and they literally teared the whole place down. Every wall, every furniture - it was awful and loud. My room was shaking so much that it knocked stuff off my table, and I actually feared for the house to actually be torn down because of the dumbness of some construction workers.
During that time, I didn't have water ever so often, power outages, no internet... it was a mess. Having no water for days really fucked me up.
But that was the last month I was in that apartment. A week ago, I moved into my new apartment, which is much more spacious and in a much better condition. The move was rough, as we had temperatures around 38°C that day. But I managed to get my stuff out of the old room. But again I had no luck: the new apartment wasn't finished. I had to put all my stuff into the only room that was already done - the bedroom. So I had my bed in this room, and basically all my stuff - while most of my furnitures were stored in the apartment of a good friend.
Three days later after I moved in, construction was finished aswell. But work still happens, and with the current temperatures, I am not really able to do much more than the barely needed stuff, like washing dishes and cooking.
But I'm already feeling a lot better. The old room was making me sick and stressed out, and even if the move isn't done yet (and probably won't be for another week) , I can already feel my energy coming back. I can't wait to have my table set up properly so I can finally tackle all the remaining commissions that I really need to get done.
My deepest thanks goes to everyone who is patient with me. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you guys understand my situation and hopefully accept my apology that things take much longer at the moment. Also a big thank you to my neighbor who lets me store my stuff in his flat while he isn't there. And a biiiig thank you to everyone who has been supportive and helpful within the past weeks.
I love you all!
Cheers,
Xil
Very important announcement!
Posted 7 years ago*bork*
Finally got my suit! Revealing it in London!
Posted 7 years agoAs some of you might have seen, I finally got my suit! - Well, most of it, I'll go partial for now and wait until they finished the body. But I'm already so ultra happy about it that I can't stop staring at it... and it stares back at me <3
If you haven't seen it yet, check out my post: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27006797/ !
I'm really fascinated how well they captured my most favourite way Xil would look at someone. So if you plan on getting a suit, I'd strongly recommend you to look at
direcreatures Page! They are awesome to work with!
Also, I will wear it for the first time at the London Furmeet at the end of April - as I'll be there, spending my vacation in my most favourite city ever! Would be awesome to meet some of you guys there, if possible! (Yes, I already heard of the "change for fursuiters", but as it's partial, I'll manage)
I'm so excited about all this - it took me 12 years to finally manage to get a suit (while the urge to have one wasn't there all the time, if I'm honest). And now this part is done and I can't be any more happy about it!
Have an awesome weekend!
Xil
If you haven't seen it yet, check out my post: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27006797/ !
I'm really fascinated how well they captured my most favourite way Xil would look at someone. So if you plan on getting a suit, I'd strongly recommend you to look at
direcreatures Page! They are awesome to work with!Also, I will wear it for the first time at the London Furmeet at the end of April - as I'll be there, spending my vacation in my most favourite city ever! Would be awesome to meet some of you guys there, if possible! (Yes, I already heard of the "change for fursuiters", but as it's partial, I'll manage)
I'm so excited about all this - it took me 12 years to finally manage to get a suit (while the urge to have one wasn't there all the time, if I'm honest). And now this part is done and I can't be any more happy about it!
Have an awesome weekend!
Xil
Internet Outage
Posted 7 years agoUgh.
Well, seems like I don't have internet at the moment, so I can't post anything. Called the provider already, but they don't give me any valuable response, just "we are working on it". It's been like this since yesterday evening. Others in my street have the same problem...
Hope to be back soon!
Xil
Well, seems like I don't have internet at the moment, so I can't post anything. Called the provider already, but they don't give me any valuable response, just "we are working on it". It's been like this since yesterday evening. Others in my street have the same problem...
Hope to be back soon!
Xil
Happy 30 to me!
Posted 7 years agoOmg... Now I'm 30! Now I'm really old... Get off (on) my lawn!
Apologies on those who wait for the YCH picture
Posted 8 years agoHey guys.
As you can probably tell, I'm going to say that I've been too busy to draw lately, but that's sadly the truth.
Work kept me busy by sending me more or less spontaneously to japan, and after that I didn't have a weekend to myself (which isn't that bad, but I simply couldn't draw in that time). Therefore, I wasn't able to complete the YCH yet - but it's on a good way and I'm confident that I'll finish it by next week. I'm currently trying to pump out commissions I owed to people for a while now, and the YCH is on top of my priority list. Promise here: I will not accept any new commission until the current ones are completely done. Things should be easier now - at least for a bit.
Again, my apologies for the wait - I'll make it worthwhile!
Cheers,
Xil
As you can probably tell, I'm going to say that I've been too busy to draw lately, but that's sadly the truth.
Work kept me busy by sending me more or less spontaneously to japan, and after that I didn't have a weekend to myself (which isn't that bad, but I simply couldn't draw in that time). Therefore, I wasn't able to complete the YCH yet - but it's on a good way and I'm confident that I'll finish it by next week. I'm currently trying to pump out commissions I owed to people for a while now, and the YCH is on top of my priority list. Promise here: I will not accept any new commission until the current ones are completely done. Things should be easier now - at least for a bit.
Again, my apologies for the wait - I'll make it worthwhile!
Cheers,
Xil
YCH over - Thank you guys!
Posted 8 years agoThe YCH is over, thanks for everyone who claimed a slot! Looking forward to do this piece! <3
What do you think of patreon? Opinions?
Posted 8 years agoFirst things first - no, I didn't open a patreon. Nor am I really planning on doing it. But as I don't have any experience with it on the receiving or giving side, I kind of want to hear how it - actually - is.
Here's what I think of it - first from my position as a viewer.
Patreon is both, a curse and a blessing (wow, thanks captain obvious). A blessing because it surely opened up a lot of opportunities for Artists to live off their art finally, and not having to struggle through commissions each day/week/month. And that's where I think patreon is an awesome thing - supporting artists you like with a little bit each month, instead of having them relying entirely on commissions.
But, on the other hand, patreon also closes a lot of doors - and windows - from those who originally enjoyed the art, but now they have some kind of a paywall in front of them every time they want to look at something. I unfollowed quite a few people because every picture they posted was basically a teaser, saying "pay now and get access to the full image" - they made patreon a paywall. Which is legit, of course - an artist is free to do whatever they want with their art. But it also kind of commercialises the community. Or am I exaggerating here?
My position as an artist is not that much different. The good sides of patreon would be, for me, to have a bit of additional income, which can come handy especially in months where money is tight. Commissions, for me, are a bit of an extra income for the freetime I spend on working on art. I still enjoy drawing a lot, even if I don't get to it as often as I would like to. Downside of having a regular, full-time job, I'd say. But it also gives me the opportunity to see drawing as a hobby. As something I like to do.
The downside, though is that I would have to deliver. A lot. Make it worth people's monthly payments - or, as I learned, payments per posted update, or else they will go away again. That's what I'm actually afraid of and what keeps me from doing it. The workload, in order to deliver, would rise so much that I might even lose interest in drawing, because it will become my second job. People would pay me... for what? To see art they can lateron see for free on my FA account or on twitter? Or exclusive pictures, that would make me feel bad for not posting it in general?
I am wondering what the benefit for those who pay would be. I am not well known enough for people to be interested in a "priority slot" for commissions - and that's not what I want, at all. Exclusive things? That's not really good, either. And sneak peeks or delayed public posting? I don't see the point in having that - especially when, just a few days later, it will be available for free. I'd feel like I'd be betraying those who pay.
Of course, the general idea of patreon is to support your favorite creators, no matter if artist, writer, crafter, ... - and I love that concept. It helps people with talent to relax a little from the whole money situation. And of course some people gladly support their favorite creators, even if they don't post things regulary.
But making it basically something like those porn sites that are everywhere? Luring you into monthly payments just so see "exclusive content"? Nah. I don't like that.
Of course I thought about opening a patreon already, since my job doesn't really pay me a lot. But I'm very hesistant - for the multiple reasons I already stated before.
What are your experiences? I'm curious about it, and I hope to get a response from both sides, artists and supporters/fans :)
Cheers!
Xil
Here's what I think of it - first from my position as a viewer.
Patreon is both, a curse and a blessing (wow, thanks captain obvious). A blessing because it surely opened up a lot of opportunities for Artists to live off their art finally, and not having to struggle through commissions each day/week/month. And that's where I think patreon is an awesome thing - supporting artists you like with a little bit each month, instead of having them relying entirely on commissions.
But, on the other hand, patreon also closes a lot of doors - and windows - from those who originally enjoyed the art, but now they have some kind of a paywall in front of them every time they want to look at something. I unfollowed quite a few people because every picture they posted was basically a teaser, saying "pay now and get access to the full image" - they made patreon a paywall. Which is legit, of course - an artist is free to do whatever they want with their art. But it also kind of commercialises the community. Or am I exaggerating here?
My position as an artist is not that much different. The good sides of patreon would be, for me, to have a bit of additional income, which can come handy especially in months where money is tight. Commissions, for me, are a bit of an extra income for the freetime I spend on working on art. I still enjoy drawing a lot, even if I don't get to it as often as I would like to. Downside of having a regular, full-time job, I'd say. But it also gives me the opportunity to see drawing as a hobby. As something I like to do.
The downside, though is that I would have to deliver. A lot. Make it worth people's monthly payments - or, as I learned, payments per posted update, or else they will go away again. That's what I'm actually afraid of and what keeps me from doing it. The workload, in order to deliver, would rise so much that I might even lose interest in drawing, because it will become my second job. People would pay me... for what? To see art they can lateron see for free on my FA account or on twitter? Or exclusive pictures, that would make me feel bad for not posting it in general?
I am wondering what the benefit for those who pay would be. I am not well known enough for people to be interested in a "priority slot" for commissions - and that's not what I want, at all. Exclusive things? That's not really good, either. And sneak peeks or delayed public posting? I don't see the point in having that - especially when, just a few days later, it will be available for free. I'd feel like I'd be betraying those who pay.
Of course, the general idea of patreon is to support your favorite creators, no matter if artist, writer, crafter, ... - and I love that concept. It helps people with talent to relax a little from the whole money situation. And of course some people gladly support their favorite creators, even if they don't post things regulary.
But making it basically something like those porn sites that are everywhere? Luring you into monthly payments just so see "exclusive content"? Nah. I don't like that.
Of course I thought about opening a patreon already, since my job doesn't really pay me a lot. But I'm very hesistant - for the multiple reasons I already stated before.
What are your experiences? I'm curious about it, and I hope to get a response from both sides, artists and supporters/fans :)
Cheers!
Xil
Awesome Story Artist is open for commissions!
Posted 8 years agoI don't do signal boosts often, but this one is for my buddy 
jizzal who happens to be one of the best writers I know! And he is open for commissions right now, so take your chance to get one of his awesome writing skills for your desired story!
More info here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8454972/
jizzal who happens to be one of the best writers I know! And he is open for commissions right now, so take your chance to get one of his awesome writing skills for your desired story!More info here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8454972/
First YCH Auction is LIVE!^^
Posted 8 years agoSooo I'm doing my first YCH auction! <3 If you want to take a look, just follow this link:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24817978/
Much love if you would spread the word!
Thanks!
Xil
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24817978/
Much love if you would spread the word!
Thanks!
Xil
