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Thanks.
Posted 2 years agoThanks.
Emergency Commissions
Posted 5 years agoI need money, and I need money fast. I need at least 408 euros, OR 478 usd by the 10th October, or I'm getting kicked out.
My general prices are 25$ for a fullbody w/o shading and bg, and 100$ for a fullbody with background and shading.
My backgrounds tend to be kinda simple, but that's cause I'm not very good at them, but I seriously, I will try my very best. I need money.
I ofc also take sfw commissions but I also take some nsfw stuff due to the emergency.
I am best with drawing feral animals (Dogs/wolves in particular), but can attempt anthros. I am best with MALE anatomy when it comes to anthro/furry, but will/can attempt female. I have a hard time with overly complex designs, but I will try if necessary :(
Please guys, help a poor sod out. My goverment has screwed me over and there's nowhere else to look for help.
I also have this OC for sale: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/38556392/ with a minimum price of 100$, I'd prefer more but that's as low as I'll go (it comes with 19 different sketches/linearts, 2 additional finished drawings with shading and bg, + the ref shown, which totals to 22 drawings + the rights to the character.)
also if you want to support me, but cant afford a full commission, like.. you can donate if you want! All kind of donations are greatly appreciated, and if you donate more than 30$ or €, then https://www.furaffinity.net/user/shensei/ will draw a shaded fullbody image for you!
You can also help by advertising this, and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/38589837/ as madly as possible to help me reach as many people as possible!
since it's an emergency, for commissioners I'll have to ask for all the money upfront :c I can't offer payment plans or half payment before the art, and the rest after like I usually do with big payments, because I need the money asap :/ I am good with keeping contact and good with sending wips and ask if you want changes done before lining (I can't add changes after lining), and once the art is finished, I'll send you a link to the picture in high res.
Please please please help me out. I have nowhere left to turn
My paypal is: xthetsar[at]hotmail.com
My general prices are 25$ for a fullbody w/o shading and bg, and 100$ for a fullbody with background and shading.
My backgrounds tend to be kinda simple, but that's cause I'm not very good at them, but I seriously, I will try my very best. I need money.
I ofc also take sfw commissions but I also take some nsfw stuff due to the emergency.
I am best with drawing feral animals (Dogs/wolves in particular), but can attempt anthros. I am best with MALE anatomy when it comes to anthro/furry, but will/can attempt female. I have a hard time with overly complex designs, but I will try if necessary :(
Please guys, help a poor sod out. My goverment has screwed me over and there's nowhere else to look for help.
I also have this OC for sale: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/38556392/ with a minimum price of 100$, I'd prefer more but that's as low as I'll go (it comes with 19 different sketches/linearts, 2 additional finished drawings with shading and bg, + the ref shown, which totals to 22 drawings + the rights to the character.)
also if you want to support me, but cant afford a full commission, like.. you can donate if you want! All kind of donations are greatly appreciated, and if you donate more than 30$ or €, then https://www.furaffinity.net/user/shensei/ will draw a shaded fullbody image for you!
You can also help by advertising this, and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/38589837/ as madly as possible to help me reach as many people as possible!
since it's an emergency, for commissioners I'll have to ask for all the money upfront :c I can't offer payment plans or half payment before the art, and the rest after like I usually do with big payments, because I need the money asap :/ I am good with keeping contact and good with sending wips and ask if you want changes done before lining (I can't add changes after lining), and once the art is finished, I'll send you a link to the picture in high res.
Please please please help me out. I have nowhere left to turn
My paypal is: xthetsar[at]hotmail.com
Getting Kicked Out and more
Posted 5 years agoOkay so, it's come to this.
I can't remember if I ever told anyone online about it publicly, but at the end of august, I didn't get my money, and when the municipality/government finally gave me SOME money, it wasn't all the money I was supposed to get, and it wasn't in one complete payout.
All in all, I had to order and overdraft, and that has resulted in the bank taking my money for THIS MONTH. so I now don't have any money. I have LESS than 100 dkk in the bank, and I JUST recieved a letter saying that the bank cancelled/withdrew my RENT PAYMENT. Which means my landlord didn't get their money, WHICH MEANS I AM GETTING KICKED OUT.
I am now forced to also call my internetprovider to tell them "Hey so I don't have any money this month, please consider letting me keep my internet while I try to figure it otu" knowing damn well there's not a DAMN THING I can do, and I'm gonna have to tell the people from the heating company thing the EXACT same thing.
So you know, if I disappear completely, it's because my internet was cut, my electricity was cut, I got kicked out, and have no where to go <3
life was NOT enjoyable. Not at all.
I can't remember if I ever told anyone online about it publicly, but at the end of august, I didn't get my money, and when the municipality/government finally gave me SOME money, it wasn't all the money I was supposed to get, and it wasn't in one complete payout.
All in all, I had to order and overdraft, and that has resulted in the bank taking my money for THIS MONTH. so I now don't have any money. I have LESS than 100 dkk in the bank, and I JUST recieved a letter saying that the bank cancelled/withdrew my RENT PAYMENT. Which means my landlord didn't get their money, WHICH MEANS I AM GETTING KICKED OUT.
I am now forced to also call my internetprovider to tell them "Hey so I don't have any money this month, please consider letting me keep my internet while I try to figure it otu" knowing damn well there's not a DAMN THING I can do, and I'm gonna have to tell the people from the heating company thing the EXACT same thing.
So you know, if I disappear completely, it's because my internet was cut, my electricity was cut, I got kicked out, and have no where to go <3
life was NOT enjoyable. Not at all.
Update
Posted 5 years agoSummer is the worst season ever. We're on a very high temperature streak were I live, and like, all i have to do is take ONE breath and I sweat like 1000000000 litres of sweat. (not really off but that's what it feels like)
as a result of these RIDICULOUS AND STUPID temperatures, I can't sleep at night because it's too hot. I can get a total of 2 or 3 hours in the morning when the temperature is slightly lower but then it jumps from 18 C to 28 C or above. Like, excuse me what the fuck is going on.
anyways. If I die this season, it's cause it's too hot and I literally boiled to death.
as a result of these RIDICULOUS AND STUPID temperatures, I can't sleep at night because it's too hot. I can get a total of 2 or 3 hours in the morning when the temperature is slightly lower but then it jumps from 18 C to 28 C or above. Like, excuse me what the fuck is going on.
anyways. If I die this season, it's cause it's too hot and I literally boiled to death.
I deserve it
Posted 5 years ago.
What's the point (vent/rant)
Posted 5 years agoNote: Noone in this journal will be mentioned by name. I'm respecting their privacy and keeping them anonymous. If they read the journal, they will likely know who they are (:
Some of you may have already caught on to it by my very very not happy description of myself on my profile page, and honestly, fine, that's what it's there for, to give a headsup about how I am possibly the most horrible individual to exist at this current moment, and do I know why? No.
I can only guess, and my most educated guess is that people hate me because I'm not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. I see things in an extremely high black/white contrast, things are either good, or they're bad, that's it. There's nothing in between, there's no grey area and I don't think there ever where. The issue is, I am broken, and I think I might be broken beyond repair, and that's why people hate me.
They don't like that I'm broken, but instead of sticking through, most people leave, or ignore me, or just.. Generally hates me or don't give a shit. THis doesn't mean that all people are like that, I have few friends that stick around and reach out to me and at least tries to make sure I'm at least content or happy. I enjoy talking with these people, and I appreciate everything they do and have already done for me. Words can't describe it.
Yet, here I am, still wondering, and contemplating, what is the point? As of currently, I see no point with my existence at all, and I know there's a few people out there, who'd rather see me die, than get better. And honestly? Sometimes, I believe that might be the best. I mean, if I died, or disappeared, I wouldn't be around and then people could stop hating me so so so much. UNFORTUNATELY, the majority of my life, has been overflowed with people that hated me, and been in severe lack and need of good people to help raise me up.
I have ALWAYS been mocked, bullied, scolded, told I'm weird, told I'm stupid, told I'm dumb, told that I should just FUCK OFF, told that I should just shut up, and whatelse. I've always been made fun off, I've had my personal belongings stolen, broken, hidden and what not. HECK, someone even threw a slice of fucking pizza on my door one time. And why? I have no idea. All I've ever wanted, is to have friends, and to have fun, and to be able to enjoy life, but I CAN'T.
I was taught, at a very early age, that I am NOT ALLOWED to have fun, I am NOT ALLOWED to feel well, and these last few months, those thoughts have been reinforced in the way some people decided to treat me, due to their hate to me and my broken mentality. And sure, treating me like a leftover gutted fish that you can no longer gain anything from, I mean, I guess that's fair. I deserve to be treated like that, don't I? Why else would people treat me like that.
YES. I'm negative. And I'm negative because it's what I know, it's what I was taught, it's engraved in my mind. Am i negative just to annoy people? NO, I literally do not intend to annoy people, but whatever I do, and whenever I do something, it always comes off bad. As me being "angry" or as me "Lashing out" or as me "bashing" people for what they're telling me or trying to tell me, but I swear to whatever fucking bastard monster that runs this useless piece of crap universe, that that's NOT MY FUCKING INTENTION, and people need to STOP TREATING ME LIKE THEY THINK I HAVE ONLY THE GOAL OF PISSING PEOPLE OFF AND MAKING THEM UNCOMFORTABLE. that is NOT my goal, that is NOT my intention, and it both angers and saddens me that people think that.
YOU try living with a mind that makes you scared all the time, that makes you anxious all the time, that makes you distrustful, that makes you lethargic and exhausted. YOu try to live with that and then YOU try to pair it with your bad physical health. Your arm that'll hurt SO MUCH you can't hold onto a fucking pencil, your leg that hurts SO MUCH you need to limp because you can't put enough weight on it to walk normally, your INGROWN NAIL that you can't get fixed because it's too expensive and you're broke, and because no one's gonna put you under for a fucking nail. YOU DEAL WITH ALL THE SHIT AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME, EVERY DAY and with that ON TOP of knowing how many people hates you and keeps talking smack about you privately to their friends and acquintances and WHAT THE FUCK ELSE. Yeah, yeah, I know, some people will tell me" just push through with those issues"
My dudes, Im trying, but I am so tired and I see so little meaning with anything anymore, those tasks becomes overwhelming and seemingly impossible. My rational mind knows what to do but the depression kills it and the anxiety makes everything look like it's a catastrophe and makes it feel like the entire world is gonna fail if I don't do what I need to, but I am too damn lethargic and tired of everything mentally that I just can't do it.
I probably have a bunch of other health defects, and some will tell me "well, go see a doctor" well duh, what a thought. And yes, I have tried that, but it just so happens that no damn doctor cares about me or my health. They're a group of incompetent idiots. BUT HEY, whatever, right? In the end......
...... I deserve to suffer.
Some of you may have already caught on to it by my very very not happy description of myself on my profile page, and honestly, fine, that's what it's there for, to give a headsup about how I am possibly the most horrible individual to exist at this current moment, and do I know why? No.
I can only guess, and my most educated guess is that people hate me because I'm not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. I see things in an extremely high black/white contrast, things are either good, or they're bad, that's it. There's nothing in between, there's no grey area and I don't think there ever where. The issue is, I am broken, and I think I might be broken beyond repair, and that's why people hate me.
They don't like that I'm broken, but instead of sticking through, most people leave, or ignore me, or just.. Generally hates me or don't give a shit. THis doesn't mean that all people are like that, I have few friends that stick around and reach out to me and at least tries to make sure I'm at least content or happy. I enjoy talking with these people, and I appreciate everything they do and have already done for me. Words can't describe it.
Yet, here I am, still wondering, and contemplating, what is the point? As of currently, I see no point with my existence at all, and I know there's a few people out there, who'd rather see me die, than get better. And honestly? Sometimes, I believe that might be the best. I mean, if I died, or disappeared, I wouldn't be around and then people could stop hating me so so so much. UNFORTUNATELY, the majority of my life, has been overflowed with people that hated me, and been in severe lack and need of good people to help raise me up.
I have ALWAYS been mocked, bullied, scolded, told I'm weird, told I'm stupid, told I'm dumb, told that I should just FUCK OFF, told that I should just shut up, and whatelse. I've always been made fun off, I've had my personal belongings stolen, broken, hidden and what not. HECK, someone even threw a slice of fucking pizza on my door one time. And why? I have no idea. All I've ever wanted, is to have friends, and to have fun, and to be able to enjoy life, but I CAN'T.
I was taught, at a very early age, that I am NOT ALLOWED to have fun, I am NOT ALLOWED to feel well, and these last few months, those thoughts have been reinforced in the way some people decided to treat me, due to their hate to me and my broken mentality. And sure, treating me like a leftover gutted fish that you can no longer gain anything from, I mean, I guess that's fair. I deserve to be treated like that, don't I? Why else would people treat me like that.
YES. I'm negative. And I'm negative because it's what I know, it's what I was taught, it's engraved in my mind. Am i negative just to annoy people? NO, I literally do not intend to annoy people, but whatever I do, and whenever I do something, it always comes off bad. As me being "angry" or as me "Lashing out" or as me "bashing" people for what they're telling me or trying to tell me, but I swear to whatever fucking bastard monster that runs this useless piece of crap universe, that that's NOT MY FUCKING INTENTION, and people need to STOP TREATING ME LIKE THEY THINK I HAVE ONLY THE GOAL OF PISSING PEOPLE OFF AND MAKING THEM UNCOMFORTABLE. that is NOT my goal, that is NOT my intention, and it both angers and saddens me that people think that.
YOU try living with a mind that makes you scared all the time, that makes you anxious all the time, that makes you distrustful, that makes you lethargic and exhausted. YOu try to live with that and then YOU try to pair it with your bad physical health. Your arm that'll hurt SO MUCH you can't hold onto a fucking pencil, your leg that hurts SO MUCH you need to limp because you can't put enough weight on it to walk normally, your INGROWN NAIL that you can't get fixed because it's too expensive and you're broke, and because no one's gonna put you under for a fucking nail. YOU DEAL WITH ALL THE SHIT AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME, EVERY DAY and with that ON TOP of knowing how many people hates you and keeps talking smack about you privately to their friends and acquintances and WHAT THE FUCK ELSE. Yeah, yeah, I know, some people will tell me" just push through with those issues"
My dudes, Im trying, but I am so tired and I see so little meaning with anything anymore, those tasks becomes overwhelming and seemingly impossible. My rational mind knows what to do but the depression kills it and the anxiety makes everything look like it's a catastrophe and makes it feel like the entire world is gonna fail if I don't do what I need to, but I am too damn lethargic and tired of everything mentally that I just can't do it.
I probably have a bunch of other health defects, and some will tell me "well, go see a doctor" well duh, what a thought. And yes, I have tried that, but it just so happens that no damn doctor cares about me or my health. They're a group of incompetent idiots. BUT HEY, whatever, right? In the end......
...... I deserve to suffer.
