Take it away from me:
Desire, Want, and Longing.
replace them with the glow of warm screens,
coiled cables running between my spine and the outlet, pulsing,
shaking, and quivering with static. sexless I gaze into the mirror
of the world, tempering an identity and philosophy against what lay
real in the palm of the earth -
gnarled dry fingers and tongues stroking
a belated sigh from the visceral trench in my lungs. the screen’s
touch reaches through cables and into my spine,
my vision clouded with electric fog and the Desire,
the Want, the Longing, ebbs and flows,
memory leaks pouring through my every orifice.
Take it away from me:
Desire, Want, and Longing.
replace them with a machine replica more suitable
while I dance in the electric fog.

My life is now over.

I already didn't have much of a life to begin with, work and my two dogs consume my life already...

Friend: Girls wouldn't throw themselves at us but they wouldn't say no.. We were like lions on the Savannah and you were either a lion and fucked bitches or you got FUCKED!


Me: ...Are... Are you a little drunk there?

Friend: ...... I'm really drunk.

I really want to commission someone of my fursona wearing D.Va's outfit and laying on the mech like she does in Overwatch.


;_;
Just don't know what artist to go to for something like that.

Alright guys!!
I have some free time!
Add me on xbox live if you wanna play Overwatch!!

Did any of you have any DIY or tutorial videos you were interested in seeing?
Just let me know and I would be happy to make them!

My sister's face is healing up, there is always going to be a scar there though ;_;
She no longer lives with me, she actually now lives with her father.
It sucks, and I know my mother would have wanted her in my care but I could not afford everything she needs and it would have been a horrible long drawn out custody battle and he makes more money then I do and is her biological father as I am just her half sister.

So... He still lets me see her.
She gets to come visit me whenever she wants since she lives about 10 mins away.
She started doing the nursing program at her high school and it's right next to my house so she often spends the night.

I no longer could afford to keep my mother's two dogs as well as my own and afford all of their vet bills.
I was able to find them a good home in the country, and they were able to stay together.

I have an extra room I am slowly converting to be my arts and craft/youtube room.
I've been doing a majority of my youtube videos in there as it is on the opposite side of the house.
I'm slowly trying to gather the lighting and audio equipment I need.

I'm also trying to save up for a capture card so I can start doing gaming videos.

IDK if I will ever get back into digital art, or drawing.

I really did like making badges though... So if anyone approached me for a commission on a badge... I wouldn't say no... lol.

Hi everyone!
I'm going to start doing youtube videos, for now mostly reviews, unboxing and DIY stuff.
Eventually when I have the extra money I'm going to start streaming and what not.

But for now can you please check out my videos and my fb?

Youtube is below
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt.....LBZF5GHw0Onm3Q

My facebook is below
https://www.facebook.com/kikisquadreview

I don't know how active I will be on here.
Life has been a little bumpy and I'm hoping 2016 won't be so crazy.

Please help me, well more like help me help my baby sister.


Hey everyone. I normally would not ask this of people unless it was an emergency… but this is a big deal. If you know me… You know that my little sister means the world to me. And you would know that our mother passed away last summer. My sister wasn’t handling it very well, so they got her into riding horses and she is very passionate about it now.

Today she was bucked off of a horse and kicked in the face. Due to this she had multiple gashes in her face (one was so big you could see her teeth through it) and she had to have multiple stitches and had to have a cat scan.

She is fine as far as that all goes, but now the medical bills are the main problem. My sister had been on my mother’s medical, but my mom died as I mentioned earlier so it’s been a mess trying to get social security involved and trying to get my little sister on medical. So, no medical… So we have no way to pay for this ER visit, not to mention the future visits she needs to get her stitches looked at and removed. Also, plastic surgery to remove the scars.

Anything helps, even $1.00. I have $300 followers, even if you all just donated $1.00 it would add up. And if you can’t donate, please share this. My family…. most important my sister needs your help.

Her GoFundMe link is located below.

http://www.gofundme.com/x8zur8z8z

I can think of
A hundred ways to die
And a hundred ways to do it

But I can't think of
A hundred ways to live
Or a hundred ways to do it

So I lock myself away
For hundreds of hours
And hundreds of days

And try not to think at all

The week you died I didn't know silence could be so loud. I literally couldn't hear anything more than the echo of a broken heart. All I did was lay in the grass and stare at a dark sky. No tears. No smiling. Just an imitation of the person i was. Sprawled out. Looking for you in the stars.

I once was told that perhaps they were not stars but rather openings to heaven for our loved ones to shine down on us. but there was so much I wanted you to know. So much I wanted to say. So much I needed you to hear.
So I wrote love letters to the moon in hopes he would write back. I wrote how he doesn't realize that it’s you that gives him that exceptional glow. I promise you the moon never looked more perfect than after you left us. Especially on those nights that I’m away from the city just staring at the grey above me. Thinking about that time you told me you were at peace. The time you said you were proud of me.

I wrote that when I miss you most is when I’m being silly and playfully embarrassing whomever decided to hang out with me that day. Or when I look in the mirror and smile because its you that I see. It’ll always be you.

I wrote that you taught me to be this. Free. Rowdy. Real. This woman with unruly hair and a pigeon toed stance that will refresh your soul with a simple conversation. You gave me this aura and radiance. Determination and wit. I’m clever and sarcastic and me, because of you.

I wrote that you were always an energy that was unmatched by anyone I’ve ever encountered. So its no surprise the moon wanted you next to him. And I wrote that I was your sunshine. Your only sunshine. “I made you happy when skies were grey…” you often said.

I struggled for a while. All these letters and words and tears to the moon and not a word back. Time passed. And nothing. Time passed and still nothing. Time passed and I began to heal. My heart began to beat to a tune you could dance to. And this smile became genuine.
Then one day I woke up to stardust on my pillow and warmth in my heart. The note was written in love and all it said was: “you’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away…”

Still alive and still in Washington.
Working, working.

Getting a tattoo soon for my birthday~

Wee~

It was weird not getting that 6am birthday call from my mom today, singing happy birthday.
;_;


I spent a week on a farm, doing farm things.
It was nice.

Christmas was alright.
I spent it with my family.
It was different, almost empty feeling but we tried to make the best of it.

I got a really nice North Face jacket for Christmas, and my grandma made handmade quilts for my brother and sister and myself out of my mother's old t-shirts.
They are really nice and I haven't slept a day without it since Christmas eve.

In other news, I'm looking forward to MGS: Phantom Pain

Today we found out the cause of my mother's death.
Hopefully this will be the last time I ever have to go to that Mortuary.

My mother died of Hepatic Necrosis.
It's upsetting, because her death could have been prevented.
But liver disease runs on my mother's side of the family.

Her birthday was early this month.
The family got together and had dinner, and we wrote love notes on balloons and let them go in the sky.

It's still hard, but getting easier everyday.

I know she's dead, I haven't spoken to her in months, her urn is sitting on a shelf, I wear a necklace with her ashes in it, I held her death certificate in my hands today... But it still doesn't feel real.

Maybe now that we know how she died, we can finally have closure.

I'm back in Washington!
I've been here for a while, still settling in and haven't had much time for myself.
It's hard, being back home without my mom...

I'm working and going on with my life.
Still can't find anything full-time so I am looking into getting a second job.
Trying to stay positive.

Everything sucks.
I'm trying my best to keep going and carrying on with my life...

People are selfish though and only care about themselves.
It's hard.

I'm not asking you to walk on egg shells around me... But at least have some respect.

What..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz3Mi_OZYno

Who donated and shared my gofundme for my mother's urn.
The goal was met and even more.
The extra money is being used to help buy little necklaces that we can hold our mother's ashes in.

Again, thank you to everyone who helped me and my siblings.

The hard part now is moving back home, and living without her.
I will soon be the legal guardian of a sad, and scared 15-year-old girl.

Please keep us in your thoughts.

My mother suddenly passed away a week ago, we don’t know the causes just yet. My mother was only 42, and no one was prepared for this death. She left behind three children, and was a single mother. Fortunately, her two oldest children(me and my brother) are adults and are able to help take care of my little sister plus my sister’s father is very involved in her life.

My brother and I were not financially ready to pay for anything related to the cremation arrangements for my mother and we were not anywhere ready to take care of our little sister, who is a teenager.

All I am asking is for help.

I need about $300.00 for the frog urn for my mother. We will be getting my mother’s ashes back sometime next week, she will be in a plastic bag and a cardboard container provided by the crematory but we would like something nice to put her ashes in. My siblings and I want necklaces we can keep on us with my mother’s ashes as well but for now we are just trying to find a nice urn for my mom.

If you can help me in anyway please message me

Or donate at the link below.

http://www.gofundme.com/dide70

You don’t have to donate money, put please share this.

I can't
Wtf.
What am I supposed to do

Go to the emergency room for migraine that had been lasting over 24 hours and I was vomiting and having a great time and then I find out I am allergic to Ibuprofen.
Go me.

My ex-girlfriend and I haven't always been on good terms. We were together for four years, and were engaged at one point. We had a horrible break up, and didn't speak for the longest time. We both said and did things we didn't mean out of anger. She moved from WA to San Antonio (her home) after we broke up, but we've always kept in contact.

I care for her, a lot.
She's a great person, so beautiful, why she ever dated me was always a mystery to me.

A week or so ago she had a horrible allergic reaction to some medication.
The end result was a body rash, blisters, and steven johnson syndrome.
Her mother contacted me on Monday, and told me to google steven johnson syndrome.
My ex's condition has only worsened and the google images I saw didn't prepare me for what I've seen.

She's in such horrible condition they had to put her into intensive care in the burn unit.
She is eating through a tube.
Her body is fighting the infection and something is happening to her eyes...

I don't really understand it all, they had to put protective lenses in her eyes but it didn't help and she had to have emergency eye surgery and earlier this morning she had a surgery for skin grafting.

Even though she fucked me over, and hurt me... She doesn't deserve this.
No one deserves this.

She's in a lot of pain, it's hard to see her like this.

She was asleep when I showed up to the Hospital, I sat with her for a few hours before she woke up.
When she saw me sitting with her, she started crying.
I can't handle this.

Please send positive thoughts to my friend.

Phone broke.
Not sure when I will be able to get it fixed.

My ex-girlfriend is in intensive care in the burn unit.
When it rains.... It fucking pours.

I made it back home from Iowa.
I had a great time, it was nice seeing my family.

Now I am going to pack like crazy, work and somehow find the time to have my wisdom teeth removed.

I can not wait to be back in Washington.

I've been waiting for things to settle down for me here but I know they won't.
I was on a handful of different medications, and I was a wreck.
I've finally decided to not be on any medications and now I'm starting to feel more like myself.
I've started to do more of what I love, playing with my dogs and gaming and painting.


Next month I'm visiting family in Iowa
I'm meeting up with some of my family members from Washington and we are all going to Iowa.
I'm pretty excited.
I need space, and time to clear my head.

And then mid September I'm packing up whatever will fit in my car, and my dogs and I are making the long drive home to Washington.
I'll be making a few stops on the way to visit friends in Arizona, New Mexico, Cali, but for the most part I plan on driving as much as I can.

I miss Washington so much.
Texas is great and all, but it isn't for me.
I don't belong here.

Coming to this decision was really hard, but I don't regret it.