Found not a damn thing. I continue to be a mystery! u_u Current diagnosis is GERD without reflux, no clear cause. I've been told to keep on the protonics and keep an eye on what I eat (while avoiding acid, caffeine, alcohol, etc). No damage is good, but not finding a cause sucks.

So I haven't been keeping up with journals very well on here, but back in... uhhhh late April, I think, I ended up in the ER with what they diagnosed as a peptic ulcer. I did my follow up afterwards, and took my meds diligently, and for awhile things were okay. The past month or so, though, I've had really bad GERD/acid reflux symptoms, no matter what I eat or what medication I take, and antacids aren't doing shit for me. I talked to a gastroenterologist, and he seems to think it's not an ulcer (so explain the screaming pain that sent me to the ER, plz?) but possible allergy related? This is despite the CT scan with contrast the ER did, so I have no idea.

Anyway, I have an appointment for an upper endoscopy on Friday so they can take a look around and try and figure things out. It's be nice to get through a year without going under anesthesia. u_u

The second-oldest of my cats, Pepper, has gotten very sick in the past 48 hours. She's a special needs kitty, and has had respiratory problems for most of her life, and right now she appears to have come down with pneumonia. I saw the vet today, and he said her heart sounds okay, but her lungs don't. He gave her a shot of antibiotics, and I have oral meds for her. When we got home, she perked up a little, ate some food, was more responsive in general. Now that the evening's wound on, she's having trouble again.

I don't know if she'll pull through or not. There's a hope, but it's not a very large one. I'm worried and heartsick. Watching her suffer is the worst part of it. Poor little fluff cat. So apologies if I seem out of sorts or less responsive than usual. I haven't slept, and I've cried my eyes out a couple times. It's encouraging that she ate a little this afternoon, but I just don't know. x_x

Technically I've always been open to drawing adult work. =)

Folks who've followed me over the last few years haven't seen much of it from me, so my apologies if this comes as a bit of a shock.

Health issues, particularly over the past 4-5 years, had basically killed what little I had in the way of libido. That in turn mostly killed my desire to draw or even look at adult stuff. It's basically furniture if you lack the capacity to desire anything. Anybody who's been following my health saga should know I had my uterus and remaining ovary removed last August, and I've been on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) since then. For better or worse, estrogen therapy didn't work well for me. I still had zero libido, and it made me grow body parts I didn't want and was extremely unhappy with. I went from mostly androgynous to BOOBS, and it was ugh. Do not want. I get that other people would be pleased with this outcome, but I'm not one of them.

My body doesn't have the capacity to make its own hormones anymore, so I have to be on some form of HRT, or I'm menopausal (which sucks, I do not recommend it). Since estrogen didn't work out, I've switched to testosterone instead, and I feel so much better. =D I've been on it for a couple months now, and I'm happier with myself than I have been in a long time.

BUT! One side effect of the T is I have a freaking libido again. XDDD Sooooo there will be porn. I'm actually interested in and enjoying drawing it for the first time in years. Apologies if the kink-flood freaks anyone out. I just literally haven't had a sex drive in ages and it's kind of in overdrive (for me, anyway) now. c.c;;;

Hey guys,

Just wanted to let folks know I was in a minor accident yesterday. I got rear-ended in traffic on my way home from grocery shopping. I'm fine, and the other driver wasn't hurt either. I bumped my head on the headrest, so it's a little sore, but my neck's not bothering me or anything. I'm still kind of shaken and stressed out, and having to call all the insurance companies and stuff isn't helping, but at least I'm not at fault. Shit happens, and my car is drivable. Won't know if the bumper needs to be replaced until insurance sets up an inspection and all that.

Most important thing is no one was injured. I'm just having trouble calming down, heh.

...someone accuses one of your own social media accounts of "impersonating a famous artist", and that 'famous artist' is yourself.

Yep, really. This was a thing that happened to me today. XDDD

It's so ridiculous I can't even be mad about it.

So you're browsing for art, and you come across a piece that looks kind of familiar to you, maybe not in style or character, but the pose! You've seen that somewhere before! Congratulations on your ability to recognize the humanoid form in similar configurations. Now, before you get yourself all riled up to attack the artist for 'theft', chances are they looked at a pose reference when they drew the piece. There are gazillions of these online and in art books, specifically designed to help an artist with everything from perspective to anatomy to expressions, framing, and character placement. They are not finished artwork, and they can be _extremely_ helpful, especially since most people don't have 24/7 access to live models who can just pose for them. Pose refs typically look something like this:

http://img06.deviantart.net/b781/i/.....xx-d4f6ze2.jpg

Or might be a photographic reference like this:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.co.....4a4de8e396.jpg

USING THESE IS NOT STEALING. They're a tool just like a pen, pencil, or tablet.

To claim otherwise is like the artist version of walking up to a fursuiter and yanking their head off to scream "There's a human in here! You have to tell people there's a human!". It's obnoxious and it won't win you friends or brownie points. Don't do it. White-knighting over poses and trying to pick fights is about as childish as you can get.

This has been your educational rant time with Zannah. Comments disabled because I am a grump and I don't feel like debating.

So, for the record? Stomach ulcers SUCK ASS. Spent a chunk of last night in the ER screaming my head off because I have never felt pain like that in my entire life. x_x I had out of control endometriosis for years. I toughed out recovery from three different abdominal surgeries on just tylenol because I can't take stronger painkillers orally. This? This was an order of magnitude worse.

They had to give me a second dose of morphine because the first one did fuck all. There's nothing quite like pain so bad it makes you barf, especially while you're trying to drink a quart of banana-flavored barium contrast solution the consistency of spooge (it was pretty gross).

I was concerned that maybe I had a blockage in my bile duct (no gallbladder, and my liver makes sludgy bile) but the doc said the CT scan showed the ulcer pretty clearly, so at least I wasn't in for emergency surgery. They shot me full of something to turn off the ulcer (I was pretty out of it at that point) and gave me a prescription to help calm things down, and I'm doing okay now. But DAMN that was not a fun way to spend my evening.

A friend and fellow MWFF staffer (founding member, former conchair) passed away earlier today (technically yesterday, but it's taken me a long while just to process this). Takaza had a massive heart attack and slipped away mid afternoon. He's the second MWFF staffer I've known personally to pass away in the past four months. x_x He had been recovering well from back surgery, doing physical therapy, and starting to walk again. His husband Duncan sent out the announcement. I never know what to say when this sort of thing happens. I'm not sure there's anything I *can* say. x.x "I'm sorry" is so pathetically inadequate. It fucking sucks.

Let's greet the new year by needing a root canal! x_x

One of my crowned molars started bothering me around New Years. Had an appointment for a cleaning scheduled for early January, so I brought it up with my dentist, and x-rays show that tooth now needs a root canal. So THAT's fun. Ugh. Only problem is we use a dental school for treatments. They do really nice work at really good prices... but the wait times can be awful. I was scheduled for the beginning of February, but got a call this morning to push it even later.

So the good news is they think they can drill through the existing crown, without removing it, to do the procedure. The bad news? They can't do it until February 17th. So I have to hold out for a month in hopes the tooth doesn't get any worse than it already is. x_x Now in fairness, if it DOES get worse, they want me to call in and will do an immediate emergency procedure, so that remains an option.

Mostly I'm just tired of my body breaking down around me. I'm just getting my wind back from surgery last August, and now THIS happens.

Sorry for the lack of work, guys. Caught a cold after MFF and it's knocking me for a loop. Between that and general holiday stuff, I haven't been able to get much done. x.x I am officially CLOSED for new commissions until I have the time and energy to work on the things I already owe to folks. I don't want my queue to get completely out of control.

Whooo, I'm home and semi-unpacked. My body's busily reminding me that I had surgery 3 months ago and I'm not allowed to beat it up like this on a regular basis. I'm worn out, but I had a fantastic time, and the best sales I have EVER had at a con! Got to hang out with  tempestuous and  blaez and  tree-san, who were all awesome and FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP GIVING ME STUFF, GUYS! XDDDDD

Had a great con, have art to post later and a couple pieces to finish up. I'm planning to increase my stream hours significantly to try and plow through as much of my homework and queue as I can, since December's set to be a stupid busy month. We'll see how much I get done. c.c

Thanks so much to everyone who came by my table and chatted with me. This has been one of my better con experiences to date. =)

Where are you staying?
The Hyatt

How long are you going stay?
Thurs-Sun, checking out Monday

Means of transportation?
Driving

Sharing a room with:
 nius

What is your gender?
meh

Relationship Status:
married

How old are you?
Old enough to know better

How tall are you?
5' 6"

Which languages do you speak?
English

Where will you be most of the time during the day?
Artist Alley, all day, every day

Do you do trades?
Not at the con except in special circumstances. Too much to do!

Do you do commissions?
Yep!

What suit(s) will you have?
Not planning to bring any.

Can I dance with you?
Can't remember the last time I danced.

Can I touch you?
Maybe? Please ask first. I'm usually okay with hugs.

Can I talk to you?
Good luck getting me to shut up.

Can I hug you?
Maybe. =) Ask first, please.

Can I take photos of you/with you?
Not sure why you'd want to, but, um, okay?

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
Na, I don't drink booze at cons since the one where I passed out and missed Timothy Zahn crashing our room party. Or the one where I thought the wind was going to eat me... Anyway I stopped drinking at cons. c.c;;

Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
Occasionally I drink. No smoking. Lung issues even if I wanted to (which I don't).

Can I give you lots of money?
Only if I can give you lots of art!

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Kinda need to know you first.

Can we hang out?
Don't have a lot of time for this at the con. I'm either working a table or hiding in my room working on art, so I'm not super good company.

How can I find you at the con?
Artist Alley. I'll be there before open until after it closes. It's my job. =)

Can we go out for a dinner?
I rarely get a chance to leave during MFF. Usually we just order food to the room.

Are you buying art?
I generally do more selling than buying.

What do I have to watch out for, when I am meeting you?
I'll probably have my ear-hat on. =)

What is the best way to contact you?
Twitter: asholohan
Telegram: Zannah
Skype: zannyvixen

May I kidnap you to my room?
Umm unless you belong to a VERY small and specific group of people, sorry, no. =P

Will you tell me your room-number and can I surprise visit you?
Na. =P I'm scared of strangers.

OMG WE DID IT!

Less than 24 hours after my friend  caramelrose put up a GoFundMe page to help sponsor her application for US citizenship, and we are FULLY FUNDED!

Thank you so much everyone who chipped in! I was up until 3:00 AM doing thank you art for folks, and I have more to do today.

THANK YOU!

We could not have done this without the love and support of so many caring people, and you're all amazing.


https://www.gofundme.com/us-citizen.....8abc764e05b494

I've decided to donate anything I make from HomeCon commissions to my dear friend  caramelrose so that she can finally afford the fee to apply for citizenship! I love this lady, and I want her to be free to continue living and working in this country and helping brighten it with her sweet and giving spirit.

You can help in two ways! Commission anything from me during HomeCon for at least $10. You'll get art (a pencil sketch, a digital doodle, a fluffle-duffle, minimium) and I'll pass funds on to her later...

http://www.paypal.me/alopexstudios

OR donate directly to her GoFundMe page and send me a copy of your receipt showing at least a $10 donation, and you get art from me same as if you'd commissioned me!

https://www.gofundme.com/us-citizen.....8abc764e05b494

You can forward your receipt email or send me a screenshot to zannah[at]rainbowsaber.com (this is NOT my PayPal email, do not send money to it)

You are also, of course, welcome to donate without asking for art in return. Anything helps!


PLEASE MAKE SURE TO LET ME KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT FOR ART WITH YOUR PAYMENT INFO/RECEIPT! =D


I don't want to lose track of anyone!

If you'd like something more complicated than the $10 donation level, feel free to check over my price sheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet.....it?usp=sharing

Anything commissioned this weekend will be streamed live on Tigerdile, but you don't have to come to the stream to help out! Comment or drop me an email at zannah[at]rainbowsaber.com (this is NOT my PayPal email, do not send money to it) if you have any questions. We can do this together. =)

Hi, internet folks!

It's been awhile since I've done one of these.

I'm doing well! All healed up, got most of my energy back, and everything. No more pain! I can do stuff again! I'm chipping away at my queue (even if some of you insist on refilling it faster than I can work XDDD I'm looking at you,  tree-san) and I'll be at my usual table in the artist alley at MFF next month! So far as I know, at least. =) I've had the same staff table for the past few years, and we'll see how they want to arrange stuff this year.

In other news, been dealing with some minor family drama that finally drew to a close today.

It is surprisingly liberating to cut toxic people out of your life. Maybe especially so when they're blood relatives. I feel like a giant weight's been lifted off my shoulders. I don't have to talk to them or care what they think anymore. I neither want nor need their approval. I haven't relied on them for anything for years anyway.

I don't hate them, but we will never see eye-to-eye, and I'm done with sitting through self-righteous lectures from out-of-touch people who think they can still dictate my life because of a blood connection.

I will remember the times that were good, and try not to think on the bad stuff too much. It's nice to have at least a little bit of closure in my life.

Argh.

So Tuesday was four weeks past surgery for me. Everything's healing up okay in that department, visits to the doctor have been good, hormones seem to be settling out, etc. I'm still a little sore and low on energy, but it's getting better. So what's the problem? The lowered immune system and stress of recovery have kicked off a shingles flare up! x_x I didn't know what it was, so I went to my doctor about it.

If you've ever had chicken pox, it can show up AGAIN as shingles.

Usually it only appears in people in their 50s-70s or later, but not always! x_x It's a painful blistering rash that burns more than itches, and it sucks. I am not a happy camper. I feel like someone tied a band of fire around my upper thigh. I have meds for it, and hopefully they'll clear it up in a couple weeks, but it can always come back. Ugh.

There's a vaccine for it! Supposedly it helps even if you've already had a flare up. So what's the catch? You have to be at least 50 to get it. I'm 33, so no dice.

I would really like to know why I'm stuck with the body of a woman twice my age, and now have TWO invisible diseases with no known cure that flare up for no precise reason. This is really starting to get old. *grump*

Okay, guys,

I know this is one of those things that's supposed to be happy and fun for all, but there are some things you NEED to remember when someone commissions you for gift art that involves a third party's character(s).

Gift art can be an awesome way to surprise someone! And there are lots of people who like to get art that includes a friend's character in their piece. Most of the time, that's totally okay! But you still need to be cautious. There are people who will commission art, particularly NSFW art, of characters they like just to have it done. Sometimes especially if the character's owner isn't having work like that drawn, or doesn't want art of their character in adult situations.

That is seriously not cool.

And often the artist is the one who ends up getting yelled at when it happens. x_x Which is the worst. You thought you were doing something nice for someone, only to find out the commissioner lied. They don't own that character, or they never got permission from the owner to have it drawn, or were told explicitly that the owner didn't want it drawn and went and commissioned it anyway...and you're stuck in the middle between the person who handed you money for the art, and the angry and probably freaked out individual who's upset at what you drew involving their character. Not a great place to be.

So far I've avoided this situation, personally, but I know other artists it's happened to, and I know someone who's had their character abused this way, with the artist none the wiser.

So please PLEASE, if someone commissions a "gift" piece for or involving a 3rd party's character(s), do a little research before you accept it, or better, ask the 3rd party if they're cool with it, ESPECIALLY if it's a NSFW piece. Check the character owner's gallery, if they have one. Do they have a lot of similar art of their character(s) like what the commissioner's asking for? Do they list the person asking for art as among their friends? Do they ask people to contact them prior to making art of their character(s)? You can pick up a lot just reading someone's profile page. And if all else fails, ASK. Yeah, you might spoil a surprise... or you might prevent someone from getting a nasty shock later, and keep from getting yelled at, yourself.


TLDR:
Not everyone likes gift art out of the blue. Not everyone wants NSFW art of their characters. Please CHECK WITH THE CHARACTER OWNER to be sure they're okay with it!

Back from the doctor, who says my hysterectomy was textbook-perfect, and is very pleased with how well I’ve been healing up afterward. The right ovary was covered in bleeding cysts, so losing it was the right decision, absolutely.

Explains why I was hurting constantly.

Now we start the process of drawing blood, checking hormone levels, and trying various combos until we get a good HRT balance. At least the eviction went perfectly! They even recorded it and were playing it in the office yesterday. XDD My nurse told me it was fascinating. Wonder if I can get a copy.

Hey guys!

Just wanted to give folks an update. The past few days are mostly a blur for me that involved a lot of sleeping, a lot of cats sleeping on me, and watching random movies (thanks ) I'm up and around as much as I can manage (which isn't as much as I would like). I'm still getting tired a lot and sleeping more than I'm used to, not that I've managed a full night yet. Unfortunately, I started having a reaction to the Tramadol the doc gave me, so I can't take strong pain meds. I've been managing on extra strength Tylenol instead, and doing all right. The general shakiness and weakness is worse, but that should pass.

I've got four "new" scars on my belly, though only one of them is actually new. The other three were marks from a previous surgery that the doc just re-used. My belly button looks REALLY funny now. They're all healing up fine, though. Mostly everything ITCHES, which I guess is a good sign. Gonna see how sitting at my desk goes for a bit before I try anything more strenuous. The new iPad was lovely to have when I was stuck in bed, but unfortunately the keyboard case conked out after four days, so once I'm well enough, gotta get to haul me to the Apple store to figure out if the freaking $150 case was defective, or if it's the smart connector in the iPad that's busted. So that'll be fun. I'm mostly annoyed since it's all brand new.

Other than that, just hanging in there and trying not to overdo it. I've reached the point where my frustration at my lack of energy's outstripping my willingness to stay in bed, but I still can't do much of anything yet.

I'm not totally there right now, but I'm home safe and mostly buried in cats. I'm sore, but surviving. The pharmacy totally borked my pain meds, so right now I'm toughing it out on extra strength Tylenol. My wonderful  nius is getting that sorted out for me, though, so I should have the good stuff soon-ish.

I am resting!

Aside from the requisite get up every hour or so to pee or grab a snack or move around a little, I've mostly dozed and pushed cats off of me (I have a pillow to protect sensitive spots). Kitties are of course thrilled to have me mostly flat. And I'm just super relieved the worst should be behind me.

Thank you SO much, everyone who sent good luck/prayers/well wishes and thoughts my way! Now I just have to rest up and mend. =)

Hey guys!

I know a lot of you have been following my medical saga to some extent, but just wanted to give a heads up that I will be going in for the hysterectomy/oophorectomy tomorrow. Expected time to heal up afterwards is 1.5-2 weeks, and full recovery is more like 6 months to a year. So I may not be around much for the next couple weeks at the very least. Unless there are complications, I'll be going home the same day, so no hospital stay. It's all being done laparoscopically, and I'll have four more scars on my stomach when all is said and done.

My recovery room is prepped, I have a huge stash of easy-prep post surgery food, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Sling TV, and access to  blaez's ginormous collection of movies, as well as new (to me) books from a local book sale plus a new Star Wars book from  tempestuous, a coloring book my mom sent, and a stack of puzzle books from  vincinicolaides. I even have a stuffed uterus pillow from  perdikitti. XD Picked up a new iPad Pro to replace my older iPad mini, and a keyboard case for that, so I'll have decent internet access without having to get up and go to my computer. I'll probably be sleeping a lot, though, if it's anything like last time. Lots of frozen meals prepped for  nius, and everything's set for the cats. I just have a couple more things to do today, and that's about as much prep as I can manage.

I'm just really, REALLY looking forward to getting this over with. x.x

Hey internet, have a silly thing I made from my 1930s art. XDD iMovie trailers are fun. Adding link in case embedding doesn't work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFM-8MIWdPs

Counting down the days until surgery and starting to get antsy. My recovery period should be about the same as when I had the left ovary removed, so about two weeks. Aaaagh, must have all things done before surgery! @_____@ *frantic flailing*

Need a coloring book for National Coloring Book Day? You can order mine on Amazon! =3

http://www.amazon.com/Furry-Menager.....ley+Holohan
http://www.amazon.com/Furry-Menager.....ley+Holohan
http://www.amazon.com/Furry-Menager.....ley+Holohan