I'm so far into this story that it feels like it's going to be a colossal chore to try and include a priesthood of sorts, or to integrate it into the upper classes. So much has been said already and so much has been written about Sivathi society that ingrains the oppression that we see in the world. I want to further justify Phaziah Ishigar's rule with a priestly sect of sorts, with temples and the like, that is used to prop up his divine image and those of kings and queens before him.

However I'm also thinking that in this age of spaceflight, people have abandoned the worshiping and metaphysical aspects of religion and just innately recognize the High King as THE manifestation of god, and a representation of the power of the suns that give life. I'm not sure how in depth I want to get into writing a whole other sect on top of the layers upon layers that I've already written, and it would require so much editing.

I'm kind of envisioning the kingship/queenship as being something akin to how Akhenaten lessened or eliminated the power of a priesthood, seeing himself as the only one who could intercede on behalf of the gods. In that sense, Phaziah Ishigar is the only one who can intercede on behalf of the Zaket suns, the thing viewed as "holy" in Sivathi society. The priests were always stand-ins for the king, and when they performed their rites, it was using the king's name as if they were the king. So Akhenaten used a fairly minor god in order to take the religion back to when only he had the power.

Maybe I'm rambling but in the positions of a priesthood being taken over by the High King/High Queen long, long ago, I feel like this eliminates the need for a priestly caste if he's the one acting in that capacity and is seen as a divine being himself, which he already is, as has been established.

What are everybody's thoughts on this? Is it something I should go back to include? I think I'm beating around the bush some and just not wanting to go back to add all that much detail after what's been said so far.

Hi everybody! I wanted to recount my momentous experience of attending the 2025 edition of IndyFurCon!

I chose to attend this time around after having tentatively planned on doing so for the past few years; I had just never gotten around to working up the money to go with a suit of Zeta (which is now complete by  3lectroangel!). I did have Aegerter, but I was always wary of taking him as I typically want to include his armor and sword. Going alone, it is very hard to wear the armor for long periods and put on by myself, and as the sword I use isn't exactly a sharp blade, the tip is definitely pointy enough to cause harm and I do not want to violate the weapons policy of any convention. But I did bring him around with just his general clothing and belt for the first day of the convention.

My rubber sister  ~latexneko~ had also originally planned to come along, but had to cancel her trip owing to border security policies in the USA during the time of this posting. That is the main reason why I only booked one night at the hotel and to attend only Friday and Saturday, because the original plan was to get there Friday morning then leave Saturday night to get her to the Cincinnati airport on time to catch her flight home to Norway. They are six hours ahead of us and she has to report in for work very early in the week, so it was in her best interest to leave that Saturday night, had she attended. Sadly, this did not happen, but we still want to try again to IFC or another convention in the near future if/when things at the borders calm down.

But that did not stop me from going alone! I left Lexington very early on Friday morning to make it to Indianapolis at around 10-11. After checking in and settling down, I got dressed up as Aegerter and started to make my way around the convention space. I also crossed paths several times with  vajra, who was a pleasure to talk with about all sorts of things! I greatly appreciate them going out of their way to make the convention more enjoyable for me after seeing my journals about how I'd have to be going alone.

My first stop was what I THOUGHT was the main events room. I had assumed the "Your First Furry Convention" panel was here, but I had been mistaken, where it was the secondary events room and I sat down for the "Animal Work Stories" panel. This was a blessing in disguise, as I was very touched by many of the service animal stories. My former labradoodle, Baci, who passed away in March, was a former service dog for a short period of time and hearing some of these stories from the panel members and others in the audience resonated very strongly with me. Additionally, we shared a lot of pet stories in general, and I got to recount some of these tales from growing up with the two dogs that preceded Baci, Marco the labradoodle and Polo the goldendoodle.

Only after that was done did I realize I was in the wrong space! I made my way to the main events room and caught the tail end of the "Your First Furry Convention Panel". It was also informative, with details on how to look out for overheating fursuiters, what do do, how to carry yourself, etc.

After that I had a delicious Nashville chicken sandwich at the hotel's restaurant. Would definitely recommend it! Unfortunately, I don't think the restaurant is staffed enough to handle a big convention influx, as I and several others had to wait exceedingly long times for service and food.

Not long after, I picked up Zeta at the front entrance and went back immediately to try him out! I suited up in my black and orange latex catsuit and Demonia boots, putting on the tail and the head and strutting out to shop around the dealer's den and artist's alley! I did a lot of shopping in the stead of my rubber sister, where I picked up some rubber pride badges (among other things) for the both of us, and bought three Serathin books (the ones involving rubber, obviously!) Also working in the picture framing industry, I bought up two or three art prints that I already am planning to take back to the gallery to frame and mat myself! It was so wonderful seeing so many creative sparks coming together in one place to sell and showcase their wares!

After taking a brief nap in my room I had anticipated taking my 2002 Saturn SC2 to the car show, as I'd signed up for that well in advance. Apparently, the hotel was having some issues with the whole car show from the get-go, and the first night became a first come/first served kind of thing. Somehow I missed the memo that cars were supposed to be staged at 8PM with the show beginning at 9PM. I showed up at 9PM with my car, only to find all the spaces taken up. Bummer.

But that didn't stop me from having any fun! I went back in to take Zeta in his sleek latex to the dance floor, which was surprisingly (as far as temperatures go) the coolest place in the con other than the headless lounge! I was able to dance out there for about an hour, simply in awe at the amazing moves of so many other furs and attendees! I'm also proud of myself, in that in training for my 5K coming up, I can feel my stamina and energy have increased somewhat, and I was able to dance out there for a whole hour IN my latex suit and fursuit head! Not bad, if I say so myself!

Sadly, in turning 31 in a few weeks, I'm no longer the type of fur who can stay up super late! So after briefly attending the night market and buying a naughty sticker for my rubber sister abroad, I turned in, ready to tackle the next day. Immediately after eating another Nashville chicken sandwich (lol) I did a little more shopping, before going to play the Artemis Bridge Simulator! I got positioned on the weapons station of a minelayer, setting up a whole minefield upon an incoming enemy fleet and managing the loading/unloading of the vessel. Our captain was actually a friend of mine that I know via her wife, who played a lot of Kings of War when I was still into my miniatures! It was great to see them both at the convention, and I got a nice "Weapons Crew" button to go on my lanyard for completing the mission.

After this, I checked out the Furry Family Feud event. So many laughs to be had (including one where the announcer mistook "thick" as "dick" and we all laughed our heads off!) There was supposed to be another attempt at the car show that night, in which me and several other furs got together out back with my Saturn SC2, an orange Suzuki motorcycle, a nice Acura Integra, a Lincoln Towncar, and two snazzy Toyota Corollas before we took a drive on the highway to the car wash. The kind fur atop the motorcycle also took passing photos of us on the highway with his gyroscopic camera, so there is (somewhere) a picture of me zooming by in my space alien looking car!

Unfortunately, the car show for that Saturday night was cancelled because of heat, or so it was claimed. When we began talking in the telegram channel about doing our own car show in a separate lot, the channel got nuked! So if anybody knows who the fellow fur with the motorcycle was who took those photos out on the highway, I would very much appreciate knowing, as I did not get their name or identity and can no longer find out as the channel is no longer there to access information. Moreover, I'm pretty upset that I didn't get to attend the car show at all with my vehicle, especially after we all went to go get our vehicles washed, many of us had signed up way in advance, only to be told that the spots would be limited and it would be on a first come/first served basis. I know this is NOT the fault of the organizer of the event and probably lies more on the shoulders of the hotel, but still.....

I did not let that sour my experience though, as I'll take my own photos with my Zeta suit and my Saturn in the near future. At any rate, I decided to attend the "Customer Service Horror Stories" panel, where we all got around to recounting some of our most cringe and funny moments of the retail/customer service experience! After having been stuck at Hobby Lobby for six years (which that is thankfully behind me now, albeit I'm in a pretty meh job environment now too), you can only imagine how much I related to that!

Finally, I attended  serathin's writing panel as my final event. He did such a fantastic job breaking down the whole writing process into the most efficacious and effective ways, answering all sorts of questions about plot, worldbuilding, character development, and so much more! I am eternally grateful to him for putting this panel on, and know that it is going to invigorate me in continuing to write my Icasra universe and the story of the Twin Pronged Crown.

After this, I packed up and headed home! BUT, bear in mind, I had been in my latex for almost twelve hours by the time I got home! I think that's a new record for me! ;D But the shower was calling for myself and a Vivishine bath was sorely needed for my catsuit from the dance floor and for my rubber pants and tanktop from Saturday.

All in all, a great first convention experience! I can't wait to go to more, and I hope to see many new faces and/or see with those of you whom I know more closely!

If you were there and you happened to see me, please comment below! I'd love to find out who I crossed paths with!

There's so much I want to say about this universe as it's not just limited to one planet like the Icasra universe is, but doing so in the story itself would cause the whole thing to fall into oversaturation of content. That being the case, at some point in the writing of this tale, I'd like to step aside from time to time to add to a compendium of information in the world of the Sivathi, categorizing things into the following with detailed information, backgrounds/backstories, explanations, and histories:

CELESTIAL BODIES
Stars
Planets and Moons

SETTLEMENTS
Permanent Cities and Provinces on Siva
Sivathi Colonies
Populations

FIGURES
High Kings and Queens
Historical Figures
Dukes and Duchesses
Sivathi of Note from the various classes

SOCIETY
Class Explanations and Histories
Cultures, Traditions, Stories
Companies and Corporations
Occupations, Demographics
Economics
Significant Historical Events

HARDWARE
Technologies
Vehicles
Ships Classes

NATURAL
Plants
Animals
Geographic Features

This list is not complete in the slightest and is only an idea I'm throwing around, but if you have anything to add or suggest, please comment below or message me. If I should also rearrange anything, that is also welcome to hear.

My rubber sister cannot in good faith come into this country with all that has happened in the span of just under a year. I can't say I blame her for feeling that way. Who would feel safe when your countrymen and others from your continent are randomly snatched out of line at the airport for no apparent reason other than to be questioned about their political beliefs? What kind of invasion of privacy is this? How does this embody the phrase "land of the free"?

It isn't free anymore. I want out. But I can't. I've whined about that so many times before so I won't do it again. But devastation isn't a strong enough word to describe how I feel. I was looking forward to this so much but apart from the last two years, the universe has seemingly conspired against me from seeing my rubber sister on the terms we've sought for so long.

First it was COVID. We had originally planned to be with one another all the way back since 2019 and then for three long years travel restrictions from a fucking disease kept us apart. We finally got our chance in 2022 and again in 2024. We were supposed to again in 2025, hopefully yearly. But now it's all in question, and what frightens me the most is that at worst there's EIGHT MORE YEARS OF THIS. I literally don't think I could live with myself without seeing her for that long.

I cannot describe this relationship as anything other than magical. There is nothing else like it I've ever experienced in my life. Those of you who read the story attached to this can begin to understand what I mean. I was tearing up when I left her country the first time I went, knowing what I had to return to. And to be potentially robbed of that for up to eight years, you can see why I'm feeling the way I am.

I don't know how I'm going to get through this. With a TON of luck (and I say a ton because with the way things are going in the USA, I'm incredibly pessimistic the treatment of travelers at borders will get any better) she can continue coming back next year. But for now, I'm going to IndyFurCon alone. I was looking forward to this one-on-one experience with her, and now it's going to just be me awkwardly strolling around like I did at Pride and the Renaissance Faire this year. I have nobody to go to these things with; all my friends are abroad and in other states and it's a luxury to see them, but I wish it wasn't.

I have had one person reach out (and I thank them for it) to mingle at the con with me, which is nice, but the point is I'll still be going alone.

I want to cry.

No thanks to the complete overreach of the US government, my Norwegian rubber sister saw the news regarding one of her countrymen being detained by Customs and Border Protection at the airport upon entering the United States, before he was sent home after interrogations and a whole slew of invasions of privacy and personal space. This, combined with many other instances of European tourists who have had their cell phones searched and had messages and criticisms of the current US administration on them, support for Palestine and anti-Israel sentiments, all of which led to similar treatments by CBP, has my best friend reconsidering if it's safe to travel here at all. Never mind the fact that she's coming into an airport that has only two international flight origins and screens lightly; it's the principle of free speech and privacy being violated by a dictatorial regime that says this is to "make us great again".

How the fuck are we supposed to be champions of the free world and uphold the values we were founded upon if we cannot extend these rights to our allies? This sickens me to no end, and if the chance to see my closest friend again is ruined over things beyond my control, I am going to be devastated like I never have before. I cannot express enough how deep our relationship is with one another, Latex Neko and I. To have this jeopardized potentially over four (even eight if this bastard stays in office) more years would be more than heartbreak. It would be like being denied the opportunity to see a member of your family; it WOULD be, because she is like my sister. And the fact I can do next to nothing about this is what scares me the most.

I try to do everything right. I pay my taxes. I vote. I settle for living in a backwards state full of even more backwards people. I work my job loyally. Why do I have to answer for any of this? Why can't I get out? Why do you think I want to leave here for Norway so badly? Not only to be in the company of my closest friend, but to leave all this behind that burdens me?

At any rate, in light of this, her trip may or may not be cancelled once mid-July rolls around. If that's the case, I will be going to IndyFurCon solo, which I really, really don't want to do. I already paid for the king suite and the pass for Friday and Saturday, and would really like to share in that with somebody. Ideally my rubber sister, who had her fursuit already made for this event (and am still waiting on mine, I have no idea how it's going to be done in the timespan that's left, but that's a journal for another day), but if not, one of you fine people are welcome to hit me up and join me for part of the weekend, because honestly? I'd be sad to go alone.

I had planned to stream today but my sleep cycle is so messed up right now 😑 And I'm not gonna lie, it's hard to motivate myself to slip into my latex when there's nobody around here to share in that with.

I know next to nobody watches my streams on my Facebook page, anyway. Maybe just one or two dedicated followers and the occasional person who pops in for a minute or two. I just don't have a lot of motivation to do it sometimes, and my energy being wrecked today (I'm training for a 5K also, so maybe that has something to do with the oversleeping? idk) just completely sapped me of any will to get into my rubber suit and hood when my whole body hurts from running.

I dunno. I feel like I'm having some serious motivational problems in general. I've been struggling with my writing a lot lately also; I promised myself to finish my sci-fi book first before beginning the third entry into the Icasra books, but I've been doing maybe 500 words a week on average, on a GOOD week.

And even in my writings, I feel the motivation starting to wane and that scares me. I wrote the Icasra books mainly to share a message of the purity of latex fetishism and pride in it by presenting it in a light that ALL readers could enjoy, from all walks of life. I never expected to get rich selling the books or anything, but I did hope to generate talk and receive feedback. Sometimes that lacks too.

Where I live doesn't help this. Kentucky sucks, and by extension, the USA sucks. Maybe I'd be singing a different tune if I lived in a progressive state but who knows. Point is I get bogged down here in splitting myself between being a "fake" of myself in this godforsaken state full of bible-thumpers, stupid hillbillies, and bourgeois equine culture in the rich places of the state. It's why I'm always obsessed with being with my friends abroad because I see their happiness, their freedom to be who they want to be and they don't have to fear being judged or discriminated against or belittled. Or they have places there that host and champion such things. Not here in the Bluegrass state, nope. And since there's so little like that, I feel my motivation crumble because I don't think anything I'm doing makes a difference or gets noticed in this place.

It's just frustrating, is all, and I'm probably rambling on about nothing. I think I just feel guilty about not getting more into my expensive kink, but it's hard to do when you're alone. I feel like I don't wear it enough and it's why I want to stream, but like I said, I just feel sapped of all energy today and my body hurts from the training.

Rambling over. I'm sorry. I hope I do get to stream again soon and write more intensely.

Hey all! I don't think I've sold more than one copy of my book (and I never intended to write these to make money, it was mainly to send a message and share a story!), BUT I would implore you to please look at purchasing copies of my books! I'm extremely eager for feedback, and I'm more than happy to sign it for you should our paths ever cross!

Click here to buy a copy of one, both, or the other! I'd be most grateful to you to gain some traction on getting the word out about these stories!

I didn't really want to have to go through Amazon in doing the publications. However, with how it was with THP in the first publication run and how out of touch the sale of the book was to me, it was just too easy of a method to get them back into print considering the niche subject matter; by the same token I realize that's why these are a hard sell to readers! Nonetheless, all who HAVE read it have told me that I successfully presented the rubberfur community in a positive light with the books (in particular the first one) and bringing it to a general fantasy audience. That being said, feel free to spread the word also! Any little bit of help counts!

I'll be going to IndyFurCon this year! I had originally been set to go in 2022 and have it as my first convention, but due to the financial stress I had to pick either to go to that or go to Norway to visit my rubber sister  ~latexneko~. I chose the latter (and did not regret it at all! Adventure of a lifetime <3), but this year she'll be coming (her work permitting!) to the con with me! She has her own fursuit head of her fursona that she made all on her own, and I have one of Zeta in the works that should be ready in time for the convention. I hope I get to see some of you lovely people there; let me know if you'll be in attendance so we can meet up!

I won't be there for the full weekend, however. I will be in attendance on Friday and part of Saturday, as I will need to drive my rubber sister back to the Cincinnati airport that night as she needs to be back in Norway for her job the following week, but we still anticipate a fun time :D

I'm so excited for this! Another year where I get to see my rubber sister is always a good one <3

Hello all!

I'm pleased to announce that the first two books (of which there will be more to come, I'm sure) of the Icasran Saga are back in publication with Kindle. The links have been provided on my front page, but I'll also attach them here:

The Rubber Princess can be purchased here.

Vengeance of Fire can be purchased here.

Thank you to everybody who continues to read these stories and encourages me to keep writing them with feedback, discussion, and general enthusiasm. There's so many more stories to tell about Aegerter, Isarte, Zuria, andt he others, along with the up and coming story of Talitha and Elkanah in the separate universe of the Sivathi.

Cheers!

Hey gang,

I was finally able to reformat things with minimal effort to get the PDF usable for Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing for The Rubber Princess. Thankfully, Vengeance of Fire required no such editing and was ready to go, more or less. That being the case, both the first book and its sequel will soon be up for sale again on Amazon later this month, and I will put the links for where they can be bought on the front of my page here on FA.

The Rubber Princess will look a little bit different from the Thurston Howl Publication that came out several years ago, but remains the same as far as the content. With how niche of a subject matter the books are, going through Kindle seemed like it was the most straightforward route at little expense to me.

At any rate, I hope maybe seeing physical copies of them again (especially of the sequel) can kickstart my writing habits again and give me some further motivation that I've been lacking.

Hey gang,

For those who may be reading the Twin Pronged Crown, I've chosen to do away with the last thousand or so words of Chapter Six that staged a gang of raiders coming to ambush Elkanah and Talitha. I had plans to have that as their ticket out of the desert by getting into some confrontation with them, but I think them crossing paths with the retreating Crown Army presents an easier transition for them to get away to the freedom of the Confederacy and would provide for some more interesting twists and plot points than just being dragged off to some bandit lair.

I know I'm going a lot slower in writing this than I have in The Rubber Princess and Vengeance of Fire. I don't really know why it is. I just feel extremely sapped of my creativity as of late, and it feels like a total chore to write anything. I really feel like I'm losing a passion for a lot of those things (I am almost certain it's temporary for the writing, I love the limitless heights I can aspire to create with it). Tabletop gaming was one, as I've not even touched my miniatures in almost a year. A lot of video games are beginning to bore me also. I don't know if some of it has to do with some of the verbal abuses and insults at my new job completely draining me of joy, but it scares me that I've hit this wall in my creative spark.

I hope it doesn't last. I need encouragement and reassurances, please. There are still so many stories of Icasra to tell and a whole universe of the Sivathi that needs to be built.

Just thought I'd notify everybody, the semi-official PDF of Vengance of Fire has had its submission file updated in my gallery with a PDF version that includes illustrations and page numbering. In due time, once a new publishing house is found, whatever PDF they supply me with will likely replace this, but for the moment, the near finished product is ready for your reading pleasure.

Now I just need to get off my lazy streak and actually resume writing The Twin Pronged Crown. I've been dragging my feet on it and I have about 5,000 words into the sixth chapter, but am struggling to break into the next phase of writing and where I want to go with the story. I have ideas, I have characters, I have rough plot points, but it's a puzzle and effort to get them going.

Hello everybody!

Returned from my two week vacation to Norway, and as expected, it did not disappoint. I had a rubbertastic time with  ~latexneko~ and we did a lot of photohshooting, celebrated my birthday, went to Tusenfryd, and a whole slew of other activities. I even won the costume contest at the fetish party we went to, wearing the white and black catsuit that she made and that you see Zeta wearing so frequently in the art I've had commissioned! I got a 1000KR gift card to a local sex shop and returned home with a nice whip and fleshlight to show for it ;)

I'm happy to say that my rubber sister will be returning to Kentucky for a weekend in October, and hopefully in 2025 as well! We have so much planned and we can't wait to share our adventures with everybody :)

I also begin my new job with an art gallery and frame shop on the 16th, and am really looking forward to the career change. No more silly work schedules and unpredictability, and no more mistreatment from the retail world. I do have to sacrifice the three weeks of vacation I earned every year (that took five years to earn that right) for a downgrade to only two weeks per year, but this will be a small price to pay for my mental and physical health and better financial security. On top of that, it's not out of the question that I can get that right to more vacation time back.

On a note for my work, the illustrations of my sequel book, Vengeance of Fire, are complete at last! All that remains is to get them integrated into the PDF format of the book and seek out a new publisher. Soon after doing this I hope to devote my time to the sci-fi story of the Sivathi that I've been working on before turning to the third installment of the Icasra series.

In light of my most recent journal, I'm hoping that I get a much needed morale boost as I return for not one, but TWO weeks to Lørenskog and Oslo! One week will be staying with another friend, and the other will be with my rubber sister  ~latexneko~, where we plan on having a ton more photoshoots in latex and heavy rubber. We will be celebrating my 30th birthday party on September 2nd at Den Glade Gris, right across the street from Det kongelige slott (the royal palace!), and we're also going to a fetish party on September 6th. So much fun to be had!

Did I mention my rubber sister is coming back for one weekend in October for Lexington Scarefest? ;)

Additionally, I'm interviewing with a professional art gallery today where I'm hoping to move on from the grind of the retail world and put my framing skills to use in a setting that appreciates me! It would also provide me with a predictable work schedule of 9:00-5:30, Monday through Friday, permitting me to go back to school or study on the side if I still wish to pursue other ventures.

Things have turned around for the better in the past week or so, it would seem! <3

I thought it was just post-vacation depression but I've felt completely shattered in miserable at work, outside of work, and in basically every aspect of life every since my Norwegian friends left me to go home.

I see them again later this month but it's not the same as living there. I see how happy they are in their lives, their jobs--everything. I envy it, I want it so badly, but it's a seemingly impossible goal to achieve.

I'm thirty in less than a month and I'm stuck in a dead-end retail management job that I completely despise, for a company that is the most unethical and horrid in their treatment of their employees and in their policies. I'm looking at career changes to move abroad and actually be with my friends but they are so astronomically expensive and/or guarantee no means of getting there.

I want to do welding school, but people say I'm too "soft" and wouldn't last through the process. And even if I did, the starting pay is even less than what I make now, and with what I make now, I can barely make ends meet. The only reason I even want to consider this is because it seems SOMEWHAT interesting and Norway would consider it a skilled trade, although I'd need to do it for six years and then have to compete with welders from EU/EEA that don't need visas.

I want to go to Norway to get my MA in History, but almost all the programs require you to have advanced knowledge in another language (I'm slowly learning Norwegian, but I won't be fluent for a very long time). That, and the out of EU tuition costs for Americans are almost $40,000 for the full program. I barely make that much in a year. Might not seem like a lot in contrast to American education, but it is when my rent for a shabby apartment in a backwater city costs almost $1200 a month, my car insurance is $90+ a month, electric and telecomm bills are almost $200+ a month, a grocery run (even at Aldi) is almost $150, and I have to pay almost $50-$60 for gasoline every time I fill my car up. I've also not done anything history-related for over six years, and I'm scared that if I get into it I won't know what I want to do, where I want to go, or I won't be able to network well enough with people there to land a job.

I'm hesitantly staying with the company I'm at because I'm on the verge of getting into the corporate world, where it would pay better and I don't have to be stuck in the store level that I hate so much any more. But the bottom line is that this is not considered skilled by Norwegian/European standards, and the only thing it will permit me it more money to visit them. It won't alleviate my desire to be there living, it won't get me a job there. Nothing.

But if i give it up to try something new in the unfounded hope that it MAY give me a better chance of moving there, I lose all the vacation time I've accrued that DOES afford me the opportunity to see them once or twice a year, all my PTO, everything. What if I get into these new fields and I hate it? Too bad! I've lost all my perks from my old job and it will be years before I get that much time off back, and now that I'm about to turn thirty, I'm going to only be aging more and more severely.

I'm so tired of everything here. My parents and family say they love me but they hate my rubber pride and my sexuality. They don't understand "why I hate this country founded on Christian values and why I want to move away from my family and friends".

My friends and my rubber sister abroad accept me for everything that I am, never once judged me, and encourage my dreams.

My family wrote me an email outlining all these concerns, and I responded why:

"I've always felt attracted to this since I was a kid but feel like I've constantly been under a spectre of proper appearances, upstanding image, Christian behavior, and your own expectations. Perhaps you've made them as offhand comments or as an aside, but I remember so many of the things you say/have said in the past that tell me your attitude towards these lifestyles. I remember explicitly when I was younger your disgust at an offhand comment of saying "I wish I was goth" and you said "Promise me you won't go goth." You probably don't even remember that because it was such an afterthought of a comment, and I barely remember it myself, but I do. I've seen your revulsion of same-sex romance or interaction on television if we're watching shows. I've seen and heard the way you think or show your inner feelings about people that are "rougher around the edges", so to speak, or don't fit the bill of "mainstream". Being made to go to church most Sundays and praying nightly as a child. The reading of sex education books when I was a child about "what God's plan is for sex" has especially wreaked havoc on my psyche because I've been raised to think about it in a certain way that is incompatible with what I've always been attracted to, or why I've struggled to date or find a significant other here (Heaven being the exception) because the way of thinking about sexual relations in Kentucky, by and large, is "mainstream". I could probably list more examples, nor am I trying to turn things around on you or say you are a bad father or have done me wrong (you haven't, and I love you), but suffice it to say I am listing these things to explain why I feel the way I feel and why my "coming out" was so traumatic and why, irrespective of what happens, you will constantly have a fear in your mind that I am bringing shame to this family or to myself. Even if you say that "you don't judge" or that "you love me now matter what", subliminally I am never able to fully feel this because of these behaviors and mannerisms on your part.

Because I cannot fit this "mainstream" appearance, I constantly feel as if I am failing you and this family. I know I am. And I'm sorry. But I have always felt attracted to these things, and I am not going to change or apologize for being that way. This is what has always made me happy, I am proud to be that way, and it is why I am so happy when I am with my Norse friends and when I am there, because they do not judge me, nor do I feel compelled to act a certain way in the society there that is so much more open-minded, worldly, and accepting. They are able to hold jobs and careers in that place and still fall under the umbrella of the "alternative". They're living proof that one doesn't need to be in the mainstream to succeed. I envy that. I wish I could have that; it's why I want to be there so badly. And/or maybe that's why a career change is in order.

But it saddens ME to be told that "I am ok with this if you are happier in the alternative lifestyle. Know that Mom and I will always love you as our son and nothing will ever change that" when I know that inside, based on your attitudes and perceived behaviors about it, you wish I wasn't that way. Everything I needed to know about yours and mom's feelings about it was confirmed to me on that very traumatic night when you sat me down to almost have an "intervention" of sorts. I saw the disgust in mom's face when she said "I'm not stupid" in her knowledge that people had been telling her about my rubber love, and that has never left my memory. And it hurts. It will always hurt.

I know you mean it when you say you love me. And I love you all too. But in the back of my mind there is always hurt because I know I can never fully be your "mainstream" son.

Not only am I wanting to leave for reasons of being with my friends or being able to live the lifestyle that I've wanted since I was a kid, but I cannot take pride in a country that does this to their people and champions itself as "democratic and free". And after working in retail for six years, I've seen the absolute worst, most disgusting parts of American capitalism utterly destroy people, likely kill somebody from the stress and mistreatment, completely disregard worker safety and rights, discourage union participation, treats its hourly associates like animals by not permitting them overtime, not paying them living wages, and not caring about their wellbeing. The worst part about this in particular with Hobby Lobby is the self-professed "Christian values" that they preach and have their shoppers believe they stand by. I cringe each time I hear somebody say they love shopping there because it's a "Christian company". How is it Christian to treat workers like this? How is it Christian to conduct shady dealings under the table to get artifacts stolen by terrorists to put into your museum? How is it Christian to deny healthcare to your employees? How is it Christian to get 99% of your products from a Chinese communist regime that hates organized religion?"

I can't stand it anymore.

And don't get even get me started on the predatory nature of this country.

Parents recommended therapy to me, and sent me to Betterhelp.com. I was under the impression the credit card information I would be submitting was going to be used when sessions were actually completed, at around $65 per session.

Nope!

As soon as I entered all my information they charged me $260 for four weeks that I didn't even agree to. No signs anywhere that I could get my health insurance involved to try and reimburse some things.

This triggers an anxiety attack; I spent almost two hours just on the floor sobbing because I cannot pay $260, and feeling that this whole healthcare system is predatory and dishonest. I called them this morning trying to get my money refunded, and they said they'd respond in email within 1-2 days.

On top of that, I've been sick with something since Friday, and went to the urgent care center, thinking it was in network for our health insurance. Then they tell me it's $145 to pay TO ONLY BE TOLD OR TREATED FOR A COLD/FLU. BECAUSE I HAVEN'T MET MY FUCKING DEDUCTIBLE OF $850!!!!!!!

I just took my cards back and walked out of the place on the verge of tears again.

And I despise this state I live in. I hate its people, I hate its obsession with college sports and how it takes precedence over anything else, I hate looking at its disgusting, gaptoothed, meth/heroin addicted hillbillies, I hate its bible-thumping bigots everywhere, I hate seeing a church on every street corner and how they get tax exemption and inject their poison into public policy, I hate the unintelligible Appalachian speech I'm subjected to hearing them speak all the time, I hate their fucking trucks on the highway revving their obnoxious engines and blasting their country music. I hate it.

My friends enjoy their time here but they say they look forward to returning home to Norway. Not once can I say that I am "looking forward to returning home to Kentucky/the USA". I've cried in the airport knowing I have to return to what's awaiting me.

I hate this place.

I hate this place.

I hate this place.

I hate this country.

I hate Kentucky.

I miss my friends.

I hate my job.

I hate who I work for.

I want to get out.

I'm trapped.

I can't escape.

I alluded that the visit would happen a few journals back, but my rubber sister  ~latexneko~ will be coming to visit Kentucky this July for all kinds of rubbery fun and photoshooting! I'm so excited to show her my home state. It's also looking bright that I am returning to visit Norway in September of this year to celebrate my 30th birthday with her and some other kinky friends and my family across the ocean <3

These vacations and meetups are sure to be great! Go check out my Fetlife account (and hers) to check out some of the photoshoots we've done together, and you can follow there for the upcoming photos of our shoots during these visits :)

Officially finished proofreading "Vengeance of Fire", the sequel to my first book, "The Rubber Princess"! After editing it all, it's slightly shorter than its rough draft, clocking in at 213,066 words. I'll have the PDF available for reading (you only have to ask), but the illustrations will not yet be embedded in the PDF, as they are not yet complete. So hopefully by the end of the year, a final copy that is ready for publication will be available with all the included illustrations attached inside!

As for the publishing front, I have not yet found anybody who will be publishing the Icasran Saga, but I will likely pursue this goal in earnest once all the illustrations are complete. WHen that is done and the book is formatted to fit the style of the publisher, I will likely have the PDF of THEIR version up in my gallery to replace the current, simply edited on that's there.

For now, please enjoy, and reach out if you want to give it a read, or feel free to do so from the PDF uploaded in my gallery!

I've officially finished the rough draft for "Vengeance of Fire", the sequel to my first book, "The Rubber Princess"! The rough draft clocks in at 213,434 words long, just slightly less than the roughly 225,000 of the first, but the story is just as engaging!

I still have a ton of proofreading and editing to do, and the illustrations with FortunatFox need to be completed before it's even remotely ready for PDF format or publication, but we will get there! I'm so excited how this entry into the Icasra saga has opened up so many possibilities. Will Zuria be redeemed? Will the fennec foxes of Ul-Ghabet be freed from the clutches of slavery at the hands of the corsairs of the Endless Ocean? Will the Unifying Emperor and Degrelle face judgement for their crimes against Isarte's legacy? Stay tuned to find out, though it may be a bit before I answer these questions in a third installment as I want to tackle my sci-fi universe next with the Sivathi.

As the whole setting stands now at nearly under 450,000 words written in the span of five years, I am very proud of what I've done and so happy I have amazing friends who have supported me on this journey. Thank you all who have helped bring Aegerter to life in fursuit form, and thank you to my readers and supporters!

Before the year is over, I'm hoping to have the full PDF version of it, complete with illustrations, up in my FA gallery. For now, please enjoy reading it chapter by chapter in my gallery!

It came to my attention (I wasn't even notified about this, I had to inquire MYSELF) that Thurston Howl Publishing is coming under the publishing umbrella of Fenris Publishing. The Rubber Princess was not on track to be brought over into this new label, which is fine, I guess..? The editor-in-chief was the one who got back to me. But it would have been nice to actually have been told about what was going on from the person directly in charge and why I could no longer access the Thurston Howl webstore, or why my book wasn't even on there any longer. I've yet to actually hear back from the person that ran the publishing house; they say they've read my email asking for inquiries, but that was several days ago, and as it's been like pulling teeth to hear back from them regarding anything else, I don't think I'm going to hear anything about this, either.

Some people have been quick to ask "Did you get scammed?" or "Did you have to pay anything to get it published?" To which I reply no. I don't feel "robbed" or anything, not of my money; maybe more of my time. I did NOT have to pay anything to see this book brought to life, so in that aspect things are fine.

So as it is, the Thurston Howl websites are seemingly "under construction", but based on their Twitter posts I don't even think they'll be coming back and are just falling under Fenris Publishing now. For one reason or another, The Rubber Princess is still on Amazon and up for sale there. I don't know where the money made is going to or who is continuing to print it, but it's honestly such a moot point (and I made so little on the book, getting rich off it was NOT my intention) that I don't really care. The contract I signed with them would basically appear null and void at this point, as I heard from the editor-in-chief that it's not going to be published under the Fenris label, so how much longer it remains on Amazon is to be seen. Building off that, I'm certain if they're no longer printing it that the rights will probably revert back to me and it'll be to where I can take it somewhere else and resume publishing with another entity.

Getting paid was also a whole song and dance that I don't want to get into, but to sum it up it would ALWAYS take me multiple emails to ask when I could my cut of sales deposited to PayPal, no matter how small they were. As mentioned in the past paragraph, getting rich or wasn't my intention with this book, it was more about the message, but it was all a matter of principle in that it felt like my payments were being withheld, or I couldn't even be shown the sales figures to see how it was doing. All I had to go on was its sales position in popularity on Amazon. I'm also certain my illustrator (you all know who she is by now and how awesome of a job she does <3) was only paid once.

Long story short, I'm certain my book will be out of print soon, and I'm sort of glad it will no longer be under this label because it's been a bit frustrating as far as communication goes. I'm grateful that THP got it out there and brought my story to life, but I think it's time for me to pursue greener pastures.

The editor-in-chief told me there is potential for him going off to do his own thing in the distant future, and that the Icasra universe would be something he'd entertain for renewed publishing of The Rubber Princess and its near complete sequel. But I'd also be open to pursuing this with somebody else or another publishing house, and if you have any advice or suggestions on who would be good for this, it would be most appreciated.

At worst, it just doesn't get republished anywhere and my books will just remain on my Furaffinity page only. I'd just at least like to have it in physical print somewhere and for sale, so as to permit fellow furries and rubberists the opportunity to at least own a physical manifestation of the message I was trying to convey with the story of Aegerter and Isarte.

Just finished a stream on my Facebook page and after I took off the suit in the shower and got to cleaning everything for storage, I noticed that the side panels on my like new Feitico hood were discolored with a black smudge FROM FOUR HOURS OF HEADPHONE USE.

I know white rubber discolors much more easily than other shades, but I don't think four hours of use should have done this. I don't know what happened, and it's really bothering me. Among other reasons, it's why in the upcoming piece being made by  AlRunaRK666 his suit color has been changed from white/black to orange/black. Because the ease of discoloration on his irl suit and hood is seriously starting to bother me and trigger my OCD. I can't look at it now without seeing something wrong, and the imperfection in the suit is of my own doing; I kept it folded up in the mail too long with the zippers contacting parts of the rubber panels and it ended up discoloring portions of them into a rust/pink hue (that is hard to notice, but it's there). These stains on my hood are even more noticeable than those.

I'm just very upset because latex isn't cheap, and I put a lot of money and expectation into that hood. This isn't a jab at Feitico; the hood is made spectacularly well and it looks great. I'm just angry because of how unbelievably high maintenance the white latex is, even after I've tried my hardest to store it all properly and treat is right by keeping it in a cool place, in a garment bag, and in the dark, after the mishap of keeping it in the package too long.

But all this care was undone in the span of FOUR HOURS. I don't know how or why this could have even happened and I'm just so upset with myself. After all the care I took, it's blemished. And in the back of my mind that bothers me, even if it's minuscule in imperfection (some of the smudge was lessened by cleaning it with heptane, but it's still there). Compound that with the fact of my troubles with latex crafting, and it's a bad feeling.

In short, trying to bring Zeta's looks to life with the art I've had made has been more frustrating than gratifying because of all the things that have gone wrong. And I'm not ungrateful to my rubber sister who made me the suit; I absolutely love it and it fits so perfectly. So does the hood from Feitico, with the more boxy looking eyeholes. But as silly as it might seem, I think for most art I might have Zeta being presented in the orange/black suit that's going to be revealed very soon, and consider it "canon" or his "default" outfit, and also which my rubber sister  ~Latex_Neko~ (who I can't freaking wait to see again <3) is making for her me to have us photoshoot in during her likely July visit.

After Vivishining/Vivicleaning the heck out of the thing and trying to rub the smear out with heptane, it's a LITTLE less noticeable, and no worse than the blemishes on the suit, but it's still there.

Again, it's insignificant and doesn't really affect anything, and might seem silly but I think both IRL and canonically speaking, the white suit and hood is going to be relegated to secondary duties while the black and orange takes over. The next reference sheet I get (I'm due for a new one, anyway) will likely reflect this.

Been painting some anthropomorphic feline sci-fi miniatures and vehicles that I like to consider as an extension of the felines I play in Stellaris, that I call the Sivathi. When I finally finish the Icasra universe (as a trilogy, maybe longer), I'd like to possibly tackle this as well. I at least wanted to put forth my ideas and see what everybody else thought, and just have it in my journals for future reference so that I don't forget them.

Siva itself is a massive planet--almost forty-five thousand miles in diameter, but is not very dense, and thus it's gravity is fairly normal despite its large size. It has two moons. The innermost is a small captured asteroid only a dozen miles in diameter that orbits close enough to be visible to the naked eye a speck of light that drifts across the sky at night. The outermost is a larger, silicate-rock and water based moon with an iron core that produces its own magnetic field, about four-thousand miles in diameter and is mined for its metal by the Crown of Siva. Mining fleets, escorted by naval ships, can be seen strafing across the sky at night as they travel to and from the moon.

The spectral types of the Zaket system would otherwise incinerate the planet were it orbiting closer, but it orbits very far away from the barycenter and its vast distance inhibits most damaging stellar wind from destroying Siva, along with the strong magnetic fields combined together by the planet and its main moon. The inner two planets are both gas giants, and contain dozens of small moons that are only just beginning to be explored by the Crown of Siva.

There are few fertile areas as much of the planet is covered in rocky crags and endless deserts, but small pockets of fertility are here and there. Half of the planet's food production comes from there, while the rest is synthetically grown and manufactured in larger cities.

The common citizenry are separate from the slave class and encompass a multitude of social classes, from rich to poor. Some own slaves, while others do not. They come from all walks of life, where they are artisans, metallurgists, merchants, entertainers, and more. What separates them mainly from the slaves is their free status.

Their military consists of vast Armies of technologically advanced, power armored feline warriors armed with gauss and ballistic weaponry, vehicles like assault guns, light, medium, and heavy tanks and armored cars, and fleets of starships that roam their home system, defending it from alien attacks. Slaves are not permitted to join the military, as it is made up of conscription of the common folk and a professional corps of officers. The navy and army themselves are used to keep many slaves in line. The Army's uniforms utilize a desert camouflage color palate in a digital pattern format, as well as on their vehicles. The starships are a purer white color, trimmed with the similar desert browns and tans of the ground forces.

The crown worn by the monarchs of Siva has two prongs, each representing one of the two stars in the binary system the Sivathi call home. The High Kings and Queens that have ruled the system for most of its history utilize their duke and duchess underlings to keep the common people and the slave population in line. A constant yearning for freedom has long lived in the hearts of the Sivathi slave class, and as this feline race prepares to embark into the cosmos, the subject of emancipation will bear heavily upon the head that now bears the Crown of Siva. Will centuries of tradition be uprooted by a cry for liberty, or will the iron fists of the monarchs continue to ensnare the downtrodden?

Using this setting, I envision a tale where the illegitimate child of High King Phaziah and was sold away shortly after birth to cover-up any illegitimate behavior on the part of the High King. The child has no knowledge of their father, and for all they know, they were born into slavery. There are tell tale signs about the child's noble blood, however, mainly their pure golden fur, which is a tell tale symbol of noble blood among the Sivathi. Only nobles and the very rare commoner possess it. It is unheard of for a slave to have this complexion. The child, a female, is not owned by the High King or any other noble; they were sold to a distant corner of the planet to a grain plantation, where they are one of many who labor tirelessly there under forced labor. It is one of several dozen fertile oases on the planet. Day after day, they see the mighty naval starships of the Crown of Siva streak across the night sky, and the exercises and maneuvers of the army in their assault guns, tanks, and troops in the valleys below. The child (a young teenager at the time of the story's beginning) dreams of being a part of it as a means to escape the misery they dwell in. Unknown to them, such a wish would also spark the path that has them seek out their royal origins.

I've officially got to give up on the attempts at latex hood making for the time being, it's clear I don't have the experience to do a good enough job. I've probably gone through seven or eight attempts now through the course of almost eleven months, and have used an entire meter of white rubber sheeting trying to make it work, only to have one mediocre finished piece with really rough edges and seams.

I've tried and tried, and it's disheartening to fail this much. I don't have big blocks of time to carve out of my day to practice because of my wild work schedule, and when I do have time off I'm exhausted from the work day. And I know I've done myself no favors in trying to do hoods as one of my first forays into latex crafting; I know it's the hardest thing to do. I just wish I had something nice to show for it.

Hopefully by the time I get to enroll in one of the latex crafting courses back in Norway (by next year, with any luck), I can learn some tricks of the trade. But for now I think I'm just going to have to get somebody else to make me another hood to match my Zeta catsuit and wait the thirteen week dispatch time.

I just really wanted to prove to myself that I could do the latex crafting, and to be sure, I've made a few rudimentary tops and bottoms, and the one very rough completed hood. I just look at how fast some of my friends have taken to it and I've been trying to follow their instructions to a T, and none of my results look anywhere nice as theirs. It just makes me feel like a failure and like I shouldn't be dabbling in this sort of thing, or like I'm not good enough.

Sorry all for the long blocks of text, I usually like to be cheerful here, but I had to get these frustrations out.

Hello all,

The vast majority of the scene taking place in Chapter Twenty-Three of Vengeance of Fire will be another flashback mixed with a dream of Aegerter. In the past chapters of this book, it's only been alluded to as Dörig's time as a galley slave, but only glossed over information about his time in Dragora. Similar to the flashback in the previous chapter, this dream Aegerter experiences demonstrates his father's final experience in the silver mines of Dragora before he is sold away as a galley slave, underlining the despair and torment he has undergone that has molded him into the villainous creature we now seem him as.

This scene has been especially moving for me to write, because we have constantly read about Aegerter's shame for not being able to stand up to the injustice that was enacted upon his father and mother as they were taken away to be slaves in Dragora. But he rectified this shame by becoming a knight-errant of Genesium and saving Isarte from Zuria's clutches, embarking on a path of good. However, his father has experienced unimaginable horrors that have molded him into the polar opposite of his son. Additionally, the agony endured by the two foxes Dörig attempts to assist is palpable through every line of text, and I found myself becoming very emotional in the writing process. I hope it can strike a similar chord within readers to demonstrate the severity of the events that have affected Aegerter's father.

You might ask why I didn't just explore the burning of Agathar from Dörig's point of view, but as we have already had Aegerter describe this event in The Rubber Princess, I saw little need to do so again. That being the case, recounting a similar yet equally emotional experience in this chapter seems as if it will serve the same purpose without recounting a redundant event.

Moreover, it will also showcase just one of the many abuses Dörig underwent that demonstrates his suffering as equal to Zuria's first life, making him a worthy pawn to be used by the forces of wicked rubbermancy and the demonic entities that control them.

I've also made additional edits to past lines of text or incorporated different information to make mention of this flashback you will read about, so as not to totally blindside new readers. Feel free to go back to the prior chapters that feature Dörig to see any of these changes.

On the day of this journal entry, it will officially be my ten year mark for my account on Furaffinity.

This site and all the friends I've made on it have been an instrumental part of my development as a person and as a member of the furry fandom. Exiting high school almost ten years ago, I never would have thought my sophomoric writing would have transformed into the books I'm working on now, and much of it was made possible by the inspiring examples of other furs. Nor would I have ever have thought that by 2023, I'd have traveled abroad to celebrate my rubber pride with my friends, I'd have created the character of Aegerter and brought him to life in costume, and that I'd let my inner self shine through my fursona, Zeta the Coyote.

I know I'll never be a "popu-fur", and I'm honestly content with that. I say this because with my smaller (yet still respectable) following, I have learned to cherish my friendships and carefully put in the love and effort they all deserve. I love you all so, so much, and am grateful for all your support and encouragement.

As such, if you're somebody with whom I've gotten to know closely over my time here, or you're just a reader of my work, watcher, or fan, I invite you to comment below something positive about our relationship in the sections below. Memories that stand out. Special pieces or tidbits that you can recall. Or just kind words to let us know we are connected in some way. Consider it not just a celebration of my time on Furaffinity, but OUR time together on Furaffinity.

Here's to many more years of friendship; from the furry and soft kind to the squeaky and shiny kind! 🥂

If you're one of my readers, you'll know that the sequel to The Rubber Princess is proceeding much slower than before. I blame that in part to general laziness on my end, coupled with typical gaming addictions (thanks Stellaris and WoW), but also because I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew with four separate stories going on at the same time. I'm hoping to converge them into two as certain parties and characters meet up, but I've also been at a crossroads for Aegerter and his party proceeding into Dragora.

In the most recent chapters featuring Dörig, we see that there's a desire for him to be reunited with his son, or at least face him once again. Whether he must combat him or whether he joins his side is unclear, but I felt like the plot could be significantly propelled along if the longing for Aegerter to be with his father once again trumps all reason and logic. Perhaps he falls victim to his temptations of sharing power with Dörig, under the premise that they can rule a successor state to Zuria's empire as father and son. I also feel like this could be analogous to how Isarte was temporarily deceived by Zuria to join forces with her, and maybe also give a reason for Nayca's wish to also be reunited with Aegerter.

In Dörig we see hatred, anger, and a wish to exact the same cruelties that were inflicted on him. Nayca endured similar circumstances (not quite as severe), but she harbors no such feelings. Instead, she sees the bright sides of life, and still maintains the motherly love that she always fostered for Aegerter.

Maybe that motherly love is the catalyst for winning Aegerter back over to the side of holy rubbermancy if he ever ended up defecting, but it could make for some interesting plot points. Just as the link between Aegerter and Isarte was instrumental in breaking the spell that held the spirit of the wolfess in Zuria's claws, so too is Nayca's love for her son the catalyst for releasing him from a dark path with his father. It would also be neat to see his loyalties split in two; for he loves his father and mother both very deeply, but they are now polar opposites. Which one would he side with at the end of the day?

And in already considering plots for a third novel, if Aegerter was converted this late in the game and his friends must retreat and leave him behind to collaborate with his father, maybe Nayca is not strong enough to win him back on her own. Maybe the redemption of Zuria could be sought out by Nayca now in order to win him back to the side of good, or her redemption lies further in helping defeat the Unifying Emperor once again that Degrelle seeks to bring back to life?

I feel like this being the purpose of Nayca will also lend validity to Degrelle's and Ernar's aspirations to make sure Nayca never gets reunited with Aegerter. They know that her love for him would only instill a sense of power in him. They'd think they're doing a good deed by ensuring this, but in fact they would only be helping Dörig in doing so as Aegerter falls under the charms of his father without the influence of Nayca. This also would lend validity to the statements made about Unia and Kurak--the representatives of the demonic forces wielding wicked rubbermancy--playing the Church of Enara like a pawn as well by ensuring they keep Nayca away from the knight-errant. AND EVEN FURTHER, if he does change allegiance by turning to the side of his father, he only further reinforces the statements of his teacher, Sir Nicias: To all things there is a good and evil, even within yourself.

What a tangled web we weave!

*

Thoughts, comments, and discussion below are greatly appreciated. I really need some creative juices flowing to break me out of this writing slump. I'm hesitant about pursuing these concepts because of how wholesome I've made Aegerter, but just as I hope to see Zuria redeemed (and that is just a hope because she seems to be a fan favorite), Aegerter for CERTAIN would be converted back to the light at some point, if this were to happen.