The following is really just for those who've actually taken the time to know me &/or for those who see me as more than just another guy who draws stuff.

I had quite an epiphany sometime ago. It was a truly painful revelation, but it was long overdue.

I had to move on. To leave all of this behind. This poor excuse of a "fandom". To move far, far away from it. As far as I could muster. In the end, it only brought me disappointment & held me back. Preventing me from being the much better person that I would've already been, if I hadn't gotten myself sucked into it all those years ago. Letting go of it is something I've tried several times before, each attempt having failed.

I've been trying, yet again. But, I've been more determined than ever to move on.

The ideas. The people. The experiences. Everything this community ever brought me, they now serve as a painful memory. A past that I want to prevent from resurfacing.

The "people" in this fandom are to blame of the most. Individuals who I thought I could have confidence in. Pioneers who I thought I could admire. Acquaintances who I thought I could befriend. Now, each of them just bring chaos into my thoughts when they pop up into mind. Especially those who I thought I could consider as friends. They just turned to be exactly like the majority of those involved in this community -- hypocrites & sluts.

My pursuit in art was one of the things that got hit the hardest by this fandom. It's kept me from improving as an artist. It made me lose my way down the path I took, art-wise. I'd forgotten why I wanted to be an artist in the first place. And I still couldn't recall that reason.

So, yeah, yet another journal entry on FA about leaving the community & sounding all "emo" & "QQing" about it & blah blah blah. It really doesn't matter what anyone thinks. It's really more of a letter to myself than anything else.

For those who've been trying to reach me lately (through e-mails, IMs, & such): I've already stopped using any such contact information you've had of me, a long while back.

Anyone else who joined this fandom with a clear perspective on things & still has it (which is too late for me) should move on as well -- the sooner, the better. This community has corrupted me so much & held me back for so long. Thinking of all the years it made me waste, pisses me off so much. I deeply envy those who've been able to free themselves sooner. I'm so ashamed of myself for allowing all of this to have happened to me. I'm done with it all, I won't allow myself to be a victim any longer.

I will keep moving forward & I will transcend far beyond the disappointment that I became.

Goodbye.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO7X5k00FpY