Good time zone greetings to you all! I hope everyone is doing well.

I've even seen a lot of October themed arts and creations. From growtober, to hypertober, even weretober if you can believe it, you can pick a word and there's a -tober for it. Now I've made no secret to wanting to jump in on this. Had I actually committed to it, I'd have posted two stories - one on the 3rd and one tomorrow. But I had talks with family, I've opened up to friends, and seeing that both helped me I want to open up to all of you too.

I'll be brief. I am 28 years old, nearing 29. I still live with my parents and I've had this merchandising job that's only paid $18K a year since graduating college six years ago. My brother has taken off; Moved out, high paying job, married, even has a kid. My sister shows the alternative life I could continue to live at this rate; A home body, always online, the same ever-dirtier bedroom, without any prospects. While I can't magically hunt for a job five years in the past and fix my life today, I can begin today. So I am going to begin today.

I've found motivation again thanks to my family and friends, who they have all suffered long enough with me on this. A few days ago I took a chance to open up to you all - the found family of friends online. I've always helped everyone. I know this is an escape from life's worries. I'm not used to asking for help. All of this compounded into myself finally opening up about where I really am at and what I need. The support I was shown still leaves me stunned. One of you showed me a resume AI website to upgrade my resume for 2025. Another not only showed me career hunting websites, but even helped me find a job offer in my local area. Some of you have even shared with me jobs that you know, the networks you are apart of, and I am forever grateful for that. Opening up to family both found and by blood has reminded me of what I really need.

I should refocus a lot of my life.

Posting a story every week showed me I had the work ethic, commitment, and consistency to change my life. I'll never regret that I did what I did. What I've come to regret is not the energy, but the direction I put it towards. Imagine if I used the same eight weeks for job hunting. I'd likely have a job by now, two months later, that for six years has eluded me. There's also the 2025 Furality Somna convention on VRC and how life changing that's been. To even show courage and post stories inspired by Somna, stories that don't have the usual bread and butter tags you've all known me for, could have been a writing portfolio for future stories. Perhaps I could have made that community center on Discord after all this time, where multiple people like myself can share writing nights and help each other grow.

Instead I used it to write stories that had the same three key words; Macro, muscle, and growth. I promise you all that I won't stop writing those stories. It's hard to abandon where we've all began. But I invite you to stay and check out other stories I'll write. I'll be forever grateful to those who remain even as I direct my energy to job hunting and growing my life again. I may not post once a week for a while. Perhaps I can but it won't be the stories you've known me for. I could use time to refocus my life to healthier things and allowing me that will help me write even better stuff to come I feel.

So as incredible as all the -tober fun is, perhaps it's better than I focus on a different kind of Growtober; Focusing on my own growth as a person. I'll focus on putting my communications degree to good use. I'm open to commissions for stories - not just the usual big three but anything (within reason mind). It's time I refocused to the future and I invite comments, ideas, and more for this.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. For those who scrolled to the bottom; I won't go anywhere. The stories will continue, albeit with a relaxed schedule until life improves. What you love shall remain and grow, only that I ask I am allowed to grow and branch out into much more too. Just so my life isn't this same post, but at 38 turning 39, where my trail of stories is smut-lite and used for toilet reading only. Granted I don't think anyone actually does that last part, but I think the point stands lol. Life doesn't wait. I don't think I can wait any longer either. Thank you all for staying with me and I'll keep you updated as more comes up.

Feel free to ask questions too I'll reply back to them all as best as I can. You're all amazing, always will be, and I'll see you on the next journal post. Love you all!