It has been long a long while since I've made anything. It has been a long, sad, very tough, year. I have been too depressed to do much of anything.
This year, I lost my father, it was unexpected and no little girl (at the age of 32) should have to bury her dad. There was so much drama involved too when he passed that it came down to me taking every penny I had saved and earned at the time, to pay for funeral costs, headstone, etc but it is only money. The more important things in life, to me, were buried. My father tought me music, art, computers, self-defense, almost everything I know. He introduced me to the magic that was dragons, unicorns, fairies which then evolved to cartoons such as Flight of Dragons, The last unicorn, Ewoks, even playing and singing the lullaby from the movie throughout my life. I can't even think or listen to it now or I burst out crying still. He showed me Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Gallactica, LOTR & The Hobbit (Cartoon, and then the movies), Conan the Barbarian, Tourk comics and so much more. In his later years, his love for Avatar, the Harry Potter series and the new Hobbit movies stayed with him until the end.

It is sad that he never got to see the last episode of the Hobbit, the news of a possible new Harry Potter movie, the new Star Wards, etc
After much trouble with the town where he rests, and the company in charge of making his monument, my father's headstone was placed this weekend. It was beautiful.
I only hope he loves everything I did. I gave him more than he ever wanted when we used to have discussions about "The End"

After burying my father, I found out that my bf was seeing 3 other women besides myself, sleeping with other women while I was away working out of town and seeing my father in hospital, dying of cancer, the few days before he died with me at his side. I think I wailed for 14 hrs straight after that betrayal because our 15+yr friendship was also over. I am quite surprised that no one called the cops on me then. I no longer wanted to know a person as cruel and unfeeling as him. I have up everything for him and this is what I got for being a devoted, loving, woman to him.
So I lost him, moved out of the house we were renting, and never got to see my beloved pitbull, Dozer that I raised from a pup, again. Less than a month or so after that, I moved from my mother's to my brother's basement as we agreed to live together (A huge mistake, but I'm bound by a lease now) As I was moving in, carrying in boxes on my day off from work up north, I got a phone call - I just lost my job. FML!. I also lost my "Auntie" to cancer, buried my Uncle who was found dead in him home from medical conditions he had, and also a neighbor, a few doors down from my mother, was found dead after who knows how long, of some sort of asthma or heart attack. I also lost more than a few good online friends :( *Sigh* It seems my life is plagued by death this year in the most horrible of ways. I have now been out of work since Aug/2014 and still no luck to this day (Nov 30) (Personally, my horoscopes are full of s**t saying this year will be an amazing year and better than the last (Which sucked job-wise and financially)

I have had a horrible time trying to deal with everything, this grief and depression and rarely leave the house now. It is hard to feel anything but grief and sadness and a massive emptiness.

No one probably reads these things and I don't have many followers or friends on here, except for Dark-Dragon-Path, my best friend for many many years, but thanks for reading one of my rants. Hopefully, I can overcome this and get back to more of the things I love besides Mass Effect, Destiny and other PS3 games like art, music, SL and so many of the other things I used to love. (Also because I finally got a awesome quality scanner!)

~BlackJasmine