Since all my life i loved my father and i always leading up to the day i said my last i love you to him i gave him a hug and a i love you every time i saw him i knew he was very ill but he really never said much on how he really felt i could see it all the time when i looked at him he was someone i knew and loved far more than my sisters and my mother he was someone that need to be loved much more than he ever got he had so many problems with him since his sever encephalitis case miss treated by this stupid hospital years ago his brain was damaged to an extent his thinking process was effected the most he would have a hard time forming words no one had patience for him when they never knew what he's been through with this he always slept because of his pain he took a lot of medications for all the problems he had on his last day i said i loved him a few minutes later me and my sister had to preform CPR on him i am in pain having to see his face dead set eyes never ever will forget that in my life he had a massive heart attack he was going to be going into surgery for somethings about his heart but i do know and will say he wouldn't have made it through the surgery he was old and just too weak to go on frankly i think he was giving up he didn't want to be fixed he wanted his suffering to stop i understand this i watched him all my life suffer i even suffered with him i couldn't bear seeing him in pain anymore just wish he didn't go like this i would have rather had him go in his sleep than have to go and give him CPR but the world is a cruel place so i have learned to live with it the best i can. i thank you if you took your time to read my pain