And what a fuckin' update I have

First, the choices made prior to kind of back away have aided IMMENSELY in my mental recovery. I did end up losing people close to me... but since then... well, let's just say things went 0 to 60 real fast. How you say? Well. Me and my husband (unofficial but fuck u we ball) have bonded closer than ever. Made a lot of discovery of self, and he began showing me more resources to learn psychology and mental disorders I have learned/heard about from people past and present more so I am better able to read people and be safe in the society that exists here in the USA. Also began working on memory retention and self confidence in what I say and do, even taking notes, and... So far? Fucking SCORE considering I have become confident enough to accept who I am more enough to finally say:

I am an amalgamate! Aka a plural. Or a system. Whichever you choose. I've been friends with those with OSDD/DID/ect and my entire life I've dealt with "symptoms" of it but wasn't... believing? Of it for /me/ because how could it. (Though Mythos pinged me as having it since early on that absolute handsome beautiful fantastic beast) But accepting it... everything fell into place. And my alters who started as kind of a mess of trauma, love, confusion, hyperactivity, ect... have all begun developing and healing and in turn? Healing me. I will continue to use "I" when speaking because it's usually just one of us fronting at a time and if not... lmfao we don't care enough unless you're our mates who can ping us in seconds <3 <3 <3 <3

We also recently did a big rescue mission, taking in Mythos' other partner from a status quo I will not be disclosing but she is safe and secure now and that is the ONLY thing that matters in this current moment. It does mean the apartment is kinda full but we are moving in a few months so we are all not worried and are a nicely knit family together. Taps chin, what else... might be changing state again... also looking into top surgery... still off hormones because I can't afford them right now as car alternator broke and also I'm fighting debt but I will SURVIVE................... feeling hashtag HOPEFUL and REJUVENATED!!!!!!!!!!!

Also my health has immensely improved. Pain levels have decreased, injuries are getting more tolerable, and I'm enjoying more exercise ! I have a ganglion cyst on my foot though I named her asparagus she is my friend and I will harm you if you insult her???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I also just had an alter make me do a, no exaggeration, /24 hour spree/ consisting of cleaning almost the entire kitchen, my entire bedroom, making food for household, and more. The energy ignited a crazed rush from everyone else to also clean so man oh man the apartment is looking so NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dude sorry for the excitement but fuck me I feel amazing. I'm no longer scared to EXIST which is something I never knew I felt until recently......

Just for those not in the loop as well: For some unknown reason during the winter I had a mass loss. Many pets died, leaving me with only a handful. Also rehomed my hedgehog Konik as due to space shrinking in this place, he was not getting proper care by my standards (HUGE cage) and is now safe with someone who has many hogs and loves them proper. However I still have... idk a few pets. But I'm done with new animals for a while. Noticing too much of a correlation of intense loneliness/disconnect from actual emotions, self, and true happiness and an obsession with hoarding animals and plants. We are quite content with less items, more /meaning/ and dude this realization was L I F E C H A N G I N G. Empty your fucking closets people. Donate shit. Have animals you only feed/water but don't actually interact with? Rehome them. It hurts, but dude it fucking heals you I swear it does. Please become the people who have an Instagram for their SINGLE FROG where they only post pics of it facing the same direction every other day with ridiculous captions because the frog makes them happy just by existing and that alone is perfect. That's wholesome I kiss ppl like that. If you have urges to buy more plants/animals... upgrade the enclosure or container. And don't give me shit abt disability/cost because bitch you can make jaw-dropping enclosures with a micro budget and a plastic tub, easy to sanitize move and manage. I have a carnivorous plant bin that I made using lights on amazon, a tub, zip ties, sphagnum moss and a soldering iron for... 35$ total? That now houses 300$+ worth of plants that just WON'T. STOP. GROWING. LIKE. MANIACS. You can do it. I prommy. I doooooooooooooo hell if you want advice send me your animal species, budget, aesthetic ideas, maybe a pet pic so I can swoon and I'll for FREE write up a custom plan for you with links, options, reasoning, even brands to avoid/things to know about for health concerns you'd never think of! And SOLUTIONS on how to manage it! "Tinker have you been working on dog training skills and animal care again as you job hunt?" yes what gives us away shut UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm passionate. Sorry this became a ramble oh my god

Also fuckin shit I have an ENTIRE UNDER THE BED TOTE FULL OF PINATA ITEMS AND I HAVE NO URGE TO STOP THE CULPRIT BECAUSE HE IS A SQUEEBLY LITTLE GUY AND MAKES ME HAPPY HELP

Also also does anyone wanna trade vintage furbies for art.................. I am very very very very very very open to it. Also human teeth........................................ or pinata merch (specifically the lego set)

Also also also last note: Does anyone who can draw WALRUS want to do a small icon trade I want a new icon for private account use <3 Doesn't have to be like, Picasso I prefer style over realism! Faerie/folklore aesthetic preferred

also also also also if something else comes to mind I'll come back but it is ASIAN GROCERY TIME so I have to snap on my fave collar and go buy way too many daikons bye I was supposed to be ready 8 minutes ago :o)

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