So you’re wondering why I’m back after so many years. Maybe not. Who cares? I was going through quite a lot at the time. I was losing my love of art, struggling to keep up with my family, health, and Mojo. I took on too much, and I was trying to work at the same time and juggle a marriage that was falling apart. Eventually, I lost my mojo completely. I had to simply walk away from DA and FA or I was going to lose myself even more.

Andrew and I eventually separated in 2018. It was a real struggle for us both, but it was a healthy turn in an otherwise extremely toxic relationship (we obviously did not show that online or to friends) and parting ways became a fresh breath of air for us both. The screaming, the fights, everything that happened between us came to a halt.

During our separation, he took the PC we had shared and destroyed it so our information couldn’t be obtained from it (I agreed for it to be destroyed) and in doing so a lot of my work for commissions and YCHs were obliterated. Some stuff I even made for Second Life was erased in the process of literally taking it apart and breaking up the internals of this old decrepit PC. As it lay in ruin, I only then remember “well shit, that’s my art in there.”

But it’s okay. It was material, not something of value. I still haven’t found my artistic mojo yet, although every now and then I get a fleeting feel to do something. With 3 kids, it’s hard to get motivation and working at a pharmacy all week wears me down. When I get home, my feet hurt and I’m just tired of having to deal with people. Plus, I’m always tired.

I’m sure that you’ll see me doing art once again. It’s been nothing but an incredibly arduous battle for me. The one good thing is, is that I’m trying to come back from the fall. Here’s to rising back up.