I don't use FurAffinity a lot, but maybe I'd like to post some life updates here and there. I haven't posted art in a bit cause I've been busy with life and I haven't had time to sit down and write stuff out, but I feel like I need to so I can get some off my chest. I would talk to people in my circle about it, but I honestly don't have one besides family friends and my bf. I'm not very open at times and have been struggling mentally for a while. I also just worry about being deemed a "lolcow" for trying to be more open about how I'm feeling and at least trying to figure out why I feel the way I feel. Maybe I'll make some ads too, but I don't like using journals for advertising my commissions. Obviously, I won't go too deep about my life on here because that's not meant for that, it's more so trying to relate to others and maybe find some connections in a way.

Either way, besides all of that, I've been doing ok. I just fed my pet frog and I'm about to draw some raffle stuff from Tiktok. Since joining Tiktok, I feel like I've gotten a little noticed by the community. I've reached 1k followers within a year and although it feels good, I also know why they want to watch me. I'm not sure who's been following me outside of here, but I have a new fursona and fursuit! (Well new as in December 2024). Her name is Rose and although she's suppose to be a cat, I call her a Russian Lynx since I feel it fits her character more. She's really colorful and she also has huge ears, hence why I call her a Russian Lynx. The one special thing about her (and why I've gained so many followers) is because I don't wear a shirt when I wear her. I wear a bra, but I don't wear a shirt when I make videos with her. I knew for a fact that it would help me be more noticable in the fandom, but at the same time, I'm worried about the freaks I'll get from it. I've already gotten a few dms of people asking if I'm taken while also getting horrible messages about killing me for just wearing a suit head. It's kinda crazy.

I'm thankful tiktok censors them in a way to where I'll only see them if I look at the comments of my videos, but it's still shocking people can be that hateful over just wearing a costume. I've also gotten a few comments about putting a shirt back on, which is refering to my belly. I'm definitely not that fat, but it's still shocking how low people can be just to bring another down. What's even sadder was I was like this at one point. Not towards furries, but too kids around my age when I was younger and using vine. I don't really remember what I said in the conversations, but one of the ones I remember saying is "I hope you die in a pit of crabs". I thought that was clever since I thought it would be a slow and agonizing death, but in reality, you're just gonna get pinched a lot lol.

I try not to be such a hateful person now. It's hard when it comes to being around my coworkers, but I've been trying to learn to fogive and let go. Something that's always been a issue to me for a while. Not exactly sure why I'm like this, but I'm hoping therapy can help with that. Either way, my whole point is that people can be hateful and they can say such horrible things, but there are a good majority that do learn from their mistakes and eventually learn not to do that. And that's why the block button is also there too lol.

Anywho, I hope this was a fun read or just informative about myself in a way.