love u


no
srsly


i love u all

every comment, every favorite, every view, every thing.

makes me giggly inside

sometimes i feel too tired and I don't draw for a long time. I pick up pen and I sketch a few lines, erase, a few more lines, erase. I would try to warm up but then I wonder to something else and stay up late trying to get myself back to drawing. Then I realize it's 10pm... midnight... 2am. Time flew by trying to relax and focus. But I would end up too tired and go to sleep. I wake up, do chores, go to work. Then I come back home and do it all over again.

Worse if I have a closing shift then open the next day. 4 hours of sleep. I come home, I take a nap. Wake up at 9pm and repeat the cycle.

I stopped taking anti-depressants because symptoms make me tired all the time. I do try to sleep consistently, but for some reason, I wake up in the middle of the night and I can't sleep.

Too fatigue and tired to even eat right. So I ate a lot of junk food and gained weight so adding health issues on top of that too. Having chest pains, back pains, leg pains. blablabla

I kept saying "I'll open up commissions" but the fact that I have to force myself to draw when I couldn't and adding obligation on top of that feels daunting and dreadful. Don't get me wrong, I would love to open them up soon (trying to buy my dog a skateboard).

I was able to draw some more when I took a month long medical leave. I felt better but I'm back to work now. I applied to another job in hopes of a consistent schedule and better pay (wish me luck!).

I usually don't share issues out in the open like this. For some reason I feel like sharing it today.

Despite it all, I'm still optimistic. I love life. Love my fam, hubby, dog, friends, fans, people. I love my art and myself. I live in the moment or at least I try to.
If ya'll read all of this, thank you for your time and have a beautiful night/evening/day~

:) <3