Quite a bit, so you're in for a read. I'll go back a little ways and try to summarize key events and things that have been going on with me and my life.

- Last year really hurt for me, personally. There seemed to have been a exodus of some sorts happening in my inner circle. Where, a handful of long-tenured friends have exited from my life. Some having been with me for as long as 15 years, others about 10 and a few within the 1 ~ 5 year range. There had been reasons for why some of those friendships ended the way they did, but without going into too much details that would consume the rest of this entry, it still all sucked in the way things happened the way they did. And it didn't surprise me either that it was a general election year so I lost one friend once again, to that bullshit. Seems to be a recurring thing. So yes, that all sucked but, it kinda made room for new faces in my circle and returning faces alike so it evened out.

- General Election 2024! Fuck. This. Country. Seriously, it has re-affirmed my belief that there are millions and millions of dumbfounded dipshits who live amongst us in this country. All hellbent on making others' lives miserable for their own gain and sometimes - profit. Just simply because they are the kind of people who just can't settle with the idea of others who think, live and act differently than them in a co-existing way. Simply just going their own way and fucking off wasn't enough so they got to go and drag the country down back into and through hell, even at the cost of their own. I will restate again that I would rather be minimally informed than misinformed and I once again will turn my back for the 4 years of hell we've now got being back into the nightmare circus. Just like I did the first term. I cannot get too invested or too wrapped up in this because I'll just lose track of everything and myself in the fold. And I voted Harris. We tried...

- Sometime ago and yes for anyone who has passed by my profile, they have seen hints and blatant drops of me announcing and going forward with the idea of retiring the jex. All because I broke out a new sona named Ryoae which was another hybrid that was constructed on perhaps more on a personal level than even the jex was. The jex sona was just simply a pre-existing template I took and poured qualities of myself into overtime. It didn't truly start feeling like a me-thing until a little more of a few years into its existence whereas the newer sona was based entirely off of interpersonal pieces.

So it was at somepoint, I decided that it was time to 'retire' the jex because of the new sona, I did go out and got new art of the new sona already. Then about a few months later, I just decided that all of that shit was just way too dramatic and unnecessary, why not just have both of them share the spotlight together. That's what is going to happen going forward, where both the jex and the new hybrid (which I've yet to settle a name of the combined species of) will be co-main sonas, both representing aspects of myself, both co-existing.

- After over 27 years and the hell of a road it took to get here, I have finally done the very thing I've been dying so hard to do and been held back on doing for so long. That is, cutting away my father from my life, for good. People who know me and knew me now, can rejoice, because I will not be talking of him nearly as much as I did the years leading into the event. It really has been a fucking rollercoaster dealing with it, I know that me being knee-deep in these issues with him has grown beyond exhaustive and has dominated much of my topic of interest, it has really consumed a lot of my time and energy about. Up to where I've unintentionally been earning the badge of having 'daddy issues' which is honestly jarring and incredibly disrespectful to have felt radiating through some of the friends both former and current that branded me that.

Because if anyone who has ever been through a toxic family and having dealt with toxic family members, it really is not that easy and it is incredibly time consuming. There had been multiple points where I felt I was ready to have gotten rid of him sooner, but circumstances ended up getting in the way that would only postpone it. For example, when things between I and my former roommates fell apart in KY, I needed an out because I had next to nothing in my name to fall back on. No vehicle, no job, no strong financial position or anything. So I had to turn back to him to get out of that situation.

And I had to roll through a lot of punches and face the music through that to work myself back up until I was in position enough to finally do something about this. I didn't even have credit for the longest time, which explained why I couldn't even do shit even if I wanted to during my time in KY. So, I did get credit, I was pushed into a car lease deal so now I had a vehicle, I was re-accepted back into a job that I had worked previously about nine years prior at that point so now I had a job and income. Things were piecing together and I gave things one last honest chance for anything to improve between him and I.

They never did, so I was at a loss in how to deal with it for the remainder of that year. Then things picked up between someone and I where I ended up getting a direction and that direction was towards Iowa to move to. Then I got into the business of pulling a personal loan of $5,000 and after a job bobbling where I lost that job I gained and immediately joined another job for a cup of coffee, by the first week of October, I took the vehicle and drove the hell out of VT and away from him. Just as things between him and I were escalating, done it all without so much of a whisper, just as the previous moves have been.

BUT, it was not entirely over because this is another circumstance issue that came into play. The only thing now that stood between us, was the car lease deal and I ran that for the next 3 years, paying it all on my own on top of paying the personal loan off too and running with the new job as well and keeping everything around me afloat. Then this year, the car lease expired back in July, I turned the vehicle in and got the vehicle I wanted from the beginning (A Kia Seltos) and everything was in my name. He no longer has no sway or say in this matter anymore. He did help by pouring in $2,000 down payment to lower the monthly down for me and I pay far lesser than I did on the old vehicle.

And that would really be all she wrote for him because within the first week of July after a therapy session, right after it, I just sent him the last e-mail he'll ever get from me. I changed my e-mails, my phone numbers so he has lost contact from me, even though he still knows my address, but he hasn't done anything since so it's not a worry.

Fact of the matter is, I snipped the last of my shitty IRL family, he was the last one and it's over. It's finally fucking over. I have now entered an era where it is post all of that, where things go from here and into the future, is entirely in my hands. I sincerely wish and do regret that he was to have been gone sooner and maybe some relations between former friends and I would improve if he wasn't much of a factor held over me. However, I needed him when it mattered most and it was for my own gain in the eventual run.

Lastly, for anybody who has ever doubted my capability to sustain myself and live on my own - fuck you. Fuck you hard. I have been going 3 now 4 years, paying for everything myself, keeping my job and just running free. My IRL family didn't believe I could live on my own. My ex-roommates probably believed the same shit. Maybe some other former friends who doubted me thought the same. But you know what? FUCK YOU! I DID THIS AND I'M DOING THIS! ME! NO ONE ELSE! I DIDN'T NEED HIM AND I DIDN'T NEED YOU TO DO IT!

I have had perhaps the BEST fucking time of my life in all of July this year, than I have EVER felt in my life in recent memory. And I intend to continue it. So again, fuck you, you doubting pieces of shit! DO NOT MESS WITH THOSE WHO CAN BE MOTIVATED! And I CAN be motivated!