since i missed the trans day of visibility (thankfully i also missed april 1st)

i think i might be genderfluid or something
this is why my pronouns are expanding to cover "she" as well as "he"

i've noticed that i keep thinking about having a feminine figure quite often and feminine expression and i think it might be worth examining my identity too to see why that is
it's always felt awkward for me to tell someone i'm a guy, like it felt wrong to "correct" them or something

i've never wanted to be masculine either, not even back in my childhood, though i've always considered gender expression completely separate from gender identity
but both are worth exploring
i dont regret the femboy aspects, hence why i might be fluid, but i think femboys are a pretty important step in getting someone like me to explore their identity
since i've seen some people online who were also femboys but later came out as trans women

i don't take the point of view that the entire concept of a femboy is just to "pressure transgender women not to transition" which is some point of view i have unfortunately seen expressed online from at least a few people on this site, because the view itself ironically feels very reductive of how some people choose to sum their self-identity. i dont know how many people would realise they were trans without this femboy idea as a gateway, whether more people would realise they were trans without it or only less people would.

but it seems like i'm one of the people that idea is helping to discover more about myself. as much as it almost felt like i was conflicted about myself because i didn't have a more binary view of the transgender umbrella, that's really more of a growing pain and it'd still be more harmful to just subscribe to the idea that an amab is either a cis man or a trans woman with nothing in-between considering how many non-binary people exist.