I've been doing alot of thinking lately, trying to figure out who i am and where i am going. I was talking with a close friend of mine, and he helped me realize my true self. I'm not a Dom in any way shape or form, hell, I'm not even a switch like I thought i was either. In fact, I'm all sub, but a certain kind of sub, that needs an understanding Dom to be able to put up with me XD Figuring this out also made me realize why my former Master and I didn't work out. Because I am sub, just not the kind of sub he wanted.

I'm an Alpha submissive. for any who dont know, its quiet simple. I'm perfectly content to be submissive, but if my master has multiple subs, IWanna be "top dog" as it were. above the others, more important.

A more expanded explanation. I'm submissive, but i like being top of the pack, and i push boundaries. I wanna be respected, and my opinions to matter. I want a strong dom to be my partner when needed, I'm dominant when required, wanting more say than anyone but my dom in a multiple sub situation. I'll only submit to those worthy and who can pull it from me. im stong willed and stubborn. i try to dom others to test how dom they really are.

It was quite an eye opener for me, and now I truly understand why my previous D/s relationship went sour. He was used to complete subs, the ones who bowed to his every command, and I can't do that. I'll submit to you, but I will say no if I'm not happy with something, and a good dom would stop pushing.

Being a complete sub instead of a switch like i thougj i was also explains why i cannot be a supporter. my mental state wont let me. sure i like being top dog and controlling at times, but i need that person above me to provide guidence when i get lost.

It's hard to find someone like that....