Hello everyone.

I want to start this journal off with an apology.

I have not been able to keep up with my commission queue for a number of factors, too many to list. Ever since I formally joined this community back in 2014, I dreamed of becoming known for art. There was a part of me that wanted to make a career out of art; and at one point, I attempted to pivot to doing art full-time back in 2020. I barely scraped by every month and worried if I would be able to fill my slots every time rent was due.

And, at some point, I crashed hard.

I lost passion for art for a really long time. It feels like even when I did a good job on something, I always would find something wrong with it and never enjoy what I made. It felt like I was chasing clout more than actually drawing for my own enjoyment. On top of that, I was watching my queue turn from "manageable" to "completely out of control." I'm not proud of it, and I know that my reputation as an artist may be tarnished for good because of that. I've lost friends over it, I've been blacklisted and blocked by people I looked up to... I regret ever making the switch to full-time art.

It's hard! They don't call us "starving artists" for nothing; sometimes, it's literal. I wish I could go back and tell myself that it would be a stupid decision and that it would take years for me to finally enjoy creating stuff again. Now, don't get me wrong--I enjoy making people smile, and I know that receiving that "1N" in your notifications with a completed commission was a way to achieve that. The world is an ugly place, and I just wanted to brighten it for y'all, even just for a moment or two. But, I realize now that I don't have to take commissions to do that. Hell, I can just post personal art and I know that someone will be excited to see it.

I broke my ankle in 3 places back at the start of May, which was so bad that it required surgery to put metal plates in my leg. It was so traumatic that I feel my psyche is permanently altered from being put under. (Lemme tell ya, suddenly waking up 7 hours later with no recollection of anything really fucks with you.) I admit that I've been a bit insufferable in the past, and I apologize for that, as well. I'm much calmer now, after everything. There's much bigger issues to worry about, rather than freaking out about little things.

Anyway, where am I going with this? I want to give refunds. I'm by no means rich, but I will be setting up a Google form for everyone that's on my queue to fill out if they want a refund for their commission.
All unfinished commissions are eligible for this, but I respectfully request patience with it. I will be collecting submissions over time via Google form and I will plan out financially what I will be capable of doing and when. I politely request that those interested in a commission refund PLEASE fill out the form as soon as possible once it's posted so I can figure this out quickly. I'm sorry for not being able to keep my end of the business, but deep down I know my resentment towards my own art would only grow if I kept taking them.

So uh... yeah.

tl;dr --

• I am no longer taking commissions.
• I will be focusing on personal pieces from now on, at least for the foreseeable future.
• I will be making a Google form to organize refunds for processing.
• I will be making refunds over time, only when I am able to afford to. I ask for patience as I go through the requests that I may receive.

Thank you all for understanding. Without your support, I wouldn't be here right now. I regret not being able to keep my end of the bargain. Maybe some day I will feel comfortable enough to take commissions, spaced out, one or two at a time. But today is not that day.

Thank you, and I'm sorry for letting life get in the way too much.

--Pix

(I will be posting a follow-up journal soon with a Google form link to request a refund.)