Hello, anyone who still follows my account. I feel like I should explain a bit why my posting on FA has been so sporadic. After this journal, I am leaving the website. I have considered deactivating more than a few times, but I decided that I will keep this account up for archival purposes.

Simply put, I think I’m finally moving on from a really mentally traumatizing part of my life. For the past few years, I’ve been dealing with the trauma from my time in my state’s foster care system. During a time where I should have been learning about who I was, I was dealing with sexual assault, neglect, mental illness and toxic friendships. After leaving foster care through aging out, I tried ignoring the problems that remained from the past, or mocking my circumstance, but it only made it harder for me to function in a healthy way.

By the time I finally seemed to get back on my feet, one of the toxic friends I had tried leaving behind from my past found out I was a trans furry from some dubious means. They leaked my personal and private info to my parents, and it left me feeling bizarre, and I disconnected from even the biological family members I still felt comfortable with. It caused a lot of bickering and broken friendships, even outside the family circle. Even after my toxic friend died, I was suffering from a severe lack of self-confidence, and I didn’t think I had the capability to rebound.

If I didn’t happen to stumble into the right community, then I would not be alive. There were times when I was seconds away from dying.

Thankfully I did, and I now have a strong support system with a loving and amazing boyfriend, and some of the most hilarious and intelligent people in the furry community (some of who aren’t out as furries. Keep it secret, if you know you know.)

I have gone through more of the normal highs and lows in life, but I think I’ve made it out. I am moving to a new, more trans friendly state for work related reasons. I feel more at peace than I have in a decade, fuck, back when I was a child. I’m not perfect, and I’m a bit of a weirdo, but I’m good enough. Good enough to deserve to live peacefully.

If you know where to find me and you are not looking to reopen closed wounds, then I’ll gladly interact with you. Thank you. 🎵