I've taken some time away from the fandom and I don't think I actually want to come back.


It's been kind of rough, and the more I think about it the less I think I can stay and be okay with it. It's not that I have anything against furry or that it doesn't have it's place. In fact it's probably nessisary in a lot of ways and gives a safe place to explore things about one's self that would be otherwise considered taboo. However I don't think it's somewhere to stay forever and thinking if I were to continue down this road for 5 years I don't think I would be happy or proud of where I'd be or that I'd grow much as a person. For awhile I thought maybe it was just twitter but the more I just stayed offline in general and experienced people for people, I realized how reductive the internet is of what it means to be a human being.


I don't like sticking people in broad stroke categories. I don't the signals I'm hijacking. I don't like what I'm doing to the long/short term rewards system of the brain with my art. I don't feel proud of my art. I crave genuine interaction. This place was making me so sick and angry. I want to create art for the sake of art again. I want to feel meaning and purpose like I use to.


I will likely be selling off all my OCs, including yes, Rennar. Anything owed will likely be the last of my furry related art. I might consider occasionally doing clean work in the future but really I kind of want to resign from actual pornography altogether and go back to collaborative work with musicians and maybe start working on that comic idea I had swirling around in my head forever.


Much love, and best wishes
-Rengeki