I'm coming to accept that things are over. Each day i can feel things get .. lighter , i guess.
After not eating for 3 days i can now put food in my mouth again ( however not too much yet)
and i'm not buckling over in tears anymore or sobbing as though someone has died (although thats how it feels)
ive never delt with grieving before, im told it all goes away with time.

Things are getting better though.
moving on is fucking hard. But now i can focus on myself and bettering myself and become my own person and experience life. Now i'm making plans to do things i really want to do (such as traveling)(and maybe skydiving)
My dad agreed to let me take a trip to Europe ! (london. paris, and rome)
To be Honest, i'm 18 and ive barely left Texas , ive never even been on a plane. This is huge for me.

i dont really expect you guys to donate or anything but i might as well put it out there and it'd mean the world to me. i'll be paying for the trip myself mostly. I also just got a job ( my first real one) so thats how i'll be paying for it.

donations link : http://personal.eftours.com/secure/.....gn=fundraising

also i really just want to thank the people who offered to talk to me and be there for me. Even if we dont know each other much and if we didnt talk , it's the thought that counts. you guys are so kind to me and im very appreciative. so , thank you.