So this is mostly rambles... Warning it may be depressing... oh but I'm good at that kind of stuff. Seems I can't be myself anywhere...

I'm excited about VancouFur 2014. Smitten(Ailish) and I will be there as she won't let me not go. So you will see me about the hotel and at the dances...

I'm at a point where I want to hide from the world again. Having a child makes that hard to do. Don't get me wrong she is amazing and really the only thing in my life that I feel I've done right.

I feel disappointed and that I've let others down in some way, shape or form... I've been told more or less that I don't belong without actually having the words said out loud, but through actions and my do actions speak louder then words... words can be a slap in the face if said right and the last words from whom I thought was a friend were a slap in the face... made me feel and think I was a slut, Thanks btw if you know whom you are and if you might be reading this...

I can't seem to shake last year's bad luck off and that's not really the way I wanted to start this year... I will do everything I can to make this year better, but even though I believe it can be done there is always the nagging doubt that seems stronger with every day...

I'm needing some true friends that I can consider family and it's hard to find.

I think I'm done for now. This is my update... I may or may not update more often. Who knows.