Time May Change Me

I decided to be a gnoll a couple years ago after reading a book called The Gnoll Credo. While reading the book it got me thinking about a lot of things, led me to improve myself, go back to school, take better care of myself, and I don't want it to turn into rhetoric for me. That's why gnolls have held a special place in my heart ever since. I like to think now that I have this ref from  Necrodrone13 it's all official. Hopefully in another year or so when I finish college and manage to get some disposable income I'll get to see some more of this gooey gnoll boi. Heck, I even get told I have a perfect hyena giggle, so maybe it's a fitting change?

I'm thinking about reading that book again too soon then maybe afterwards I'll write my thoughts about it down here. It's not exactly a subtle attack on modern living and eating habits of humanity. I remember there was some I couldn't quite agree with but it did get me thinking about who I am.

Turn and face the strange

Lately I've been feeling kind of weird. I hang out with friends in a small private discord, and it's like this small comfortable bubble. It's a bubble that's nice to have, to escape to for chill, but it also has started to feel stagnant. And even there, in that comfortable little bubble there are still parts of me I can't comfortably express, or just don't know how. I would love to be able to find other circles to mingle with, meet new people, get to know them their quirks and ideas. It would be nice to get somewhere else rather than listen to the same old day after day.

There is also a part of me that wants to be directed, to be submissive. Not even sexual thing, just small daily things. I want to be able to please someone. part of me that wants to be criticized, pushed, told what to do. I have no idea how to scratch that particular itch. I'm not sure if it's something I can really find in my little bubble. Worst of all is that without trust, someone doing that just makes me not want to be around them. just makes it harder finding someone that I can share that sort of feeling with.

I don't know. random rambling.
Hope you have a great day <3