It’s a remake of Star Fox 64.

Did y’all expect anything different?

…I mean y’all probably did but let’s be honest: this is the only thing that works.

Star Fox Adventures came out and at the time it was divisive amongst fans and some critics because the gameplay was vastly different from the original games and it felt more like a Zelda-ish clone.

Star Fox: Assault came out and at the time it was divisive amongst fans and critics because the gameplay was vastly different from the original games and some of the newer gameplay elements were a bit clunky.

Star Fox Command came out and at the time it was panned amongst fans and critics because the gameplay was different from the original games and apparently the story was ass. Now this I can’t confirm because it’s one of the games I haven’t played; someone please correct me on this if I’m wrong.

Star Fox Zero came out and at the time it was divisive amongst fans and critics because the gameplay was different from the original games and the forced motion controls were panned by damn near everybody.


So of course Nintendo would just remake Star Fox 64 from the ground up with updated (and very nice-looking) graphics and some new content/cutscenes added in. Especially considering the trend that began with the Crash Bandicoot N'Sane Trilogy (which led to a brand new Crash Bandicoot game) and the Spyro Daddy Dragons trilogy.


I can’t even be mad at this because everyone has been starved of new Star Fox content for about a decade now. And I can’t even blame Nintendo for taking this route, because whenever they do something that isn’t an EXACT REPLICA of Star Fox 64, the fans (at the time of release, mind you) complain. And I’m not gonna sit here and act all high and mighty—I absolutely fall into this camp as well. I was there when Star Fox: Assault came out and I wasn’t the biggest fan of it at the time. I liked it but it was kinda “meh” for me and a little too short. I was there when Star Fox Zero came out and I liked that game, but I was kinda “meh” on it. And when I made my review I even brought up that I kinda missed Star Fox: Assault because at least it was trying to do something different…even though Star Fox Zero also tried something different—not just with the gameplay but the level design and stages too. I looked back at my review too; someone even clocked me on how contradictory I was being with my opinions. And I’m gonna say the same thing I said back then right now.

THE FANS DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT.


When franchises do something different, the fans complain. When they do the same thing over and over, the fans complain. And when they don’t do anything, the fans complain. So this is literally the only option Nintendo has to resurrect this franchise (which again, has been dormant for a whole-ass decade!) and get new people into it whilst also satisfying the older fans. The people who want a new game period? Guess what!

YOU GOT A NEW GAME. PERIOD.

The people who want something different? Guess what!

YOU GOT A DIFFERENT GAME.

The people who just wanna replay a newer version of Star Fox 64? Guess what!

IT’S ANOTHER DAMN REMAKE.


You know you’re gonna get the game. Nintendo knows you know you’re gonna get the game. And you know that Nintendo knows that you know you’re gonna get the game because this is what Nintendo does. All the damn time. It doesn’t matter if you complain about the character designs or that it’s just another remake or that it’s not Star Fox: Assault 2 or that Krystal isn’t in it or that it’s not a brand new story altogether—you’re gonna get the game, because time and time again, I see people do this.

Will I get the game? No. But that’s only because I don’t have a Switch 2. But chances are I’ll get one next year (unless someone gifts me one) and after I do I’ll be like “Oh that’s right. They remade Star Fox 64. Again. …Fuck it. Bye money! :D”

I remember saying ten years ago in my Star Fox Zero review (or when I was responding to a comment) that I was gonna go back and replay all of the older Star Fox games to reassess my thoughts/opinions on them. Never got around to doing that. And honestly, with the announcement of this new game coming out? Maybe now’s the perfect time to do that.

So yeah, those are my thoughts. I’m not mad. I’m not excited. I’m kinda indifferent weirdly enough. When I heard the news I was like “Welp…we got what we wanted after ten years.” And that’s really the best way I can respond to this news.

For better or worse, we got what we kept begging for.